DAY 1: A Fresh Beginning in 2026
As many can see I have not posted on here in months, I had made a good habit of journaling last summer but once my uni term hit I ended up spiraling, went back on all the positive changes and now i'm back here starting from 0. This time around I am aiming to kick a few bad habits, for one the gaming, I have been a lot better with it, but unfortunately I ended up getting dragged back into league of legends addiction at the start of this year, I got bored of the game now so Ive stopped playing, but I still spend nearly 20 hours a week playing games according to steam, which is 20 hours that could have gone towards building a hobby, creating something new, learning a skill or generally just being more productive that grinding another match in a game that doesnt give me any real world benefits.
Next I am also trying to kick some other bad habits in tandem, I have spoke about them briefly, and to be honest they are quite embarrasing, but I am trying to also kick my addictions to alcohol and weed as well as p**n. weed and alcohol are just bad for the body in general but when combined with a lack of self control they can (and as I have experienced, they will) slowly tear your life apart. I found that I was just using them as crutches to make my evenings mindless, I would come home after working coop and then just drink or smoke and waste my evening away, because after all that's easier than making progress, and when the brain wants more dopamine it wants it now.
I was making such good progress with everything until december when my exams ended, ive noticed this pattern that whenever I feel like there is "downtime" in my life I am much more suseptible to caving into urges as I will say to myself "oh just have a day off from making progress" and I did, I smoked one time and that was all it took to get hooked and buy more products, since then I basically went on a spree of numbing myself and not doing anything productive and I voila now here I am 5 months into 2026 but im still the same person I was last year and the year before that and so on and so forth.
I guess what I am realizing is that change doesnt come easy, and it takes real effort, and in the moment the small decisions to say "nah im not gonna smoke/drink/play games" may feel bad in the moment but if I remind myself about the bigger picture maybe itll be easier.
Im probably gonna go back and reread game quitters, since a lot of the info is pretty useful for me, especially the stuff about replacing my time, I think thats my biggest issue, I want to change all these habits but I made no effort to build the new habits to replace the old ones, oh well, life goes on and at least I am making the choice to begin improving now.
I want to begin taking steps to actually build the life I want, not just idly typing about it online, but actually getting up off my ass and making shit happen and thats what I'm going to hold myself to, because I know that I am capable, I just need to really be dedicated. Expect to see me around more often as I try and make a better effort to improve my life.
By
Hosser ·