Merry Christmas everyone! Yesterday, after I left the office and helped my family with some chores, I went to the movie theater to see the last Avatar movie. It was a good experience. In the span of 7 days, I went three times to the movie theater, two of them alone. Going alone was always something I wished to try, and I fell in love with it
However, last night there was a group of teenagers making a lot of noise, always standing up, and throwing popcorn to each other. It ruined the experience for me. In addition, I tried to do a harmless joke in a group chat in WhatsApp, with two of my friends that are in that group sending me DMs saying that it was offensive to one member of the group. I ended up deleting the joke from the group chat, and spent the remainder of the evening feeling like a terrible person. Once again, my BPD kicked in
In fact, I feel like my BPD symptoms are getting worse, not better, despite having a stable job, being on my way to finish my degree, having a relatively large social circle. Yet, I feel my mood swings are getting worse, the feelings of emptiness are stronger, and suicidal ideation is always around the corner. When I think that I potentially have multiple decades of existence ahead of me, I feel immense dread
Sorry for not writing the most suited message for the festivities, but this is how I feel.
By
FormerSKyrimEnjoyer ·