I'd find it difficult to call the main online game I've played massively multiplayer at all, now - the largest in-game groups of players I found recently were situated around passive/'away from keyboard' content, which said to me that few people were interested in getting old enjoyments out of it - one of my concerns. It's hard to explain how idiotic and far-flung some of the advanced achievements were though - you'd have to be SO locked in and hooked to successfully go for them. This year I created two new profiles to squeeze the lemon.  My next big hit would have to be relearning how to span my natural motivation over full days again, working up to weeks. -> But I really did mean that I basically lost my sense of self sometimes, chasing its levelling system in my own tedious way. Man, I only typed this because the only thing in that game remaining was the 'RP/role-playing' aspect in 'MMORPG'. Hope good things are coming your way.

Thursday morning, day 2: I removed the game launcher and files (again), making the shameful/desperate act of visiting the website, clicking for the download (tailored to computer type, somehow) and re-installing once more a barrier. But what made me want to type was remembering the period of time when I'd spent 2-4 weeks being productive in a solo manner towards my degree, and then losing heart - only maintaining lifting, work and gaming. Back then, I had trouble telling when enough was enough, and a couple of workouts in the gym found me thinking that I was being glared at for trying too hard. One of those times, I screwed up my face mid-set at someone in their middle-age passing me with a look on his own face, so as if I was guardedly saying, 'Yeah, this is maximum effort; what of it?' I guess I mean to ask whether naturally, we all gradually find out what life simply won't let us get away with, even if it's towards growth. I told someone I'd be back at the gym today, and was undecided whether I'd try a similar workout to the one I was doing above, all those years ago (a favourite), or my standard targeted one, which I've also been missing. I was worried because I was on the verge of not caring, as long as I went, which proved unsuccessful on Tuesday. But 48 hours ago, I hadn't reached peace with the idea of not game-playing, or finished entertaining myself at the same time to distract from the problem of it. I aim to kind of read/meditate more before heading out, and I have another to-do list. For now, I am grateful for restful sleep, unhindered reading, and enough milk to spare until later. See y'all soon, ~ Matt

Entry 8.7 (Written on 9.7) Weeks until average life expectancy: 2770 (80th birthday) Day 174: No Useless Videos Day 1006: Sticking to Food schedule Day 609: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 157: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  - 4 hr bike ride in the direction of mount "Ojo de orgeg" - Writing the majority of the review of the double driving lesson - 2h and 15m or so of German learning 1 Thing I could do better - I guess the tax authority is a bit baffled by what I wrote and do not reply regarding whether tosend them the fixed report or the original. I guess I just need to send the fixed one and see what happens, since meanwhile the clock is ticking... Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 175

Entry 7.7 (Written on 9.7) Weeks until average life expectancy: 2770 (80th birthday) -Fixed bike breaks and got a tube with anti puncture liquid -Done summaries for all the driving lessons -Began a free trial of the StoryLearning course and finished the Goethe Trial Day 173: No Useless Videos Day 1005: Sticking to Food schedule Day 608: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 156: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  - 75% effort long run 2h 50m despite high sleepiness - 4 pomodoros - Having planned to wake up at 4 30 when I saw I do not manage to sleep at 20 00, rather at 20 53 (Last bite of food was at 16 53 so I allowed myself to be in bed at 20 38, so that I may fall asleep at 20 53 - calculating that it takes 15 minute to fall asleep 1 Thing I could do better - Leave a wider buffer for dinner to finish eating 4 hours before bed time Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 173

This is a bit of a risk, but I was reading and my brain hovered over something about sales tactics and general persuasion. If I've suggested sincerely, as my only piece of advice, that if a list of advantages is longer, outweighs or are substantially better than the list of disadvantages, a person should, or even must proceed - I still have doubts whether I could ever have meant it. Because there are needs I tend to have when it comes to convincing, like perhaps a well-and-fairly-fought battle being lost, in person, over a factsheet, in ordered company. I don't know, something like that. If it seems unfair, or to a lesser extent, inconsistent, I'm unlikely to properly participate. I would have some regret if I knew for certain that AllanJC/OP (here) read one or more of my posts this year and thought, 'F this, red flags and small bits of advice don't work on this Matt/Wheatbiscuit character', but I don't know. It just seemed plausible. I also however desire caution against the 'there are plenty of fish in the sea' line, when it comes to various communities. It would surprise me if Allan was gaming right now, to be honest. Rather, there probably are a few other places where decent education and skills would do better. Have you ever seen The Simpsons' AA meeting, where a character keeps a liquor bottle inside his shaped bible interior? If I could clearly see myself in that way; 'Yikes', indeed. No, I tried a small cost-benefit list everyday before signing in, but just didn't write it down. The difference is using those lists for serious personal gain, and what is being weighed against. I don't have all of those answers, but no one individual does, I think. That's why I've posted here at the same time as playing that game. Godspeed, all.