Starting this back up again, Day 1.
I have such mixed feelings at seeing the 90 day detox celebration and the strong feelings around it, but being right back in the same spot now almost a year and a half later.
A fair amount has changed (for the better) in my life. Promotion and new responsibility at work, started a business on the side, building a new house, having kids who are growing. The detox did a lot for me. For a few months, I was able to go back to gaming in a healthy and sustainable way.
I have a lot of new stress in my life, mostly due to work, and it's caused me to slip back into very unproductive habits over the past year. I've hit a low point, where I'm sitting here with ~4 hours of sleep, unable to focus on anything work related, and all I want to do is play games. It's been like that off and on for months.
One of my habits is journaling, and I have about ~13 years worth of journals. I went through them this morning and, to no surprise, I've been writing about my struggles with these bad habits for the entirety of the time. So many journal entries filled with self-loathing thoughts about staying up late gaming (along with other bad habits).
The journals are enough evidence for me to know that:
I have core issues with dealing with stress and anxiety in a productive way
Gaming is, and always will be, something that I will struggle with moderating while I have responsibilities that cause stress in my life
Abstaining from gaming is the most productive thing I can do about the situation (like I saw last year)
Hope all of you who have posted in the past are doing well with your own journeys. Here's to starting mine back up!
By
Kam ·