Hi! My name is Peter, im 20 years old and since last summer, I became more addicted to gaming than i was ever before. And that took my joy from hobbies. I am a teacher, but I always loved making music! Or other creative stuff, like playing piano, drawing, writing stories... I moved away from my parent's house last summer, right after graduating school, found a job and yeah...thats good, but also bad. Cuz now I have access to adult money, with no restrictions. I buy 2 - 3 new games after every paycheck (I don't even play a lot of these games.) I still have so many games i haven't finished, or that I didn't find quite fun to play. I also spend alot of money on rocket league (Since someone thought it would be good idea to remove trading...duh). I decided to change my stereotypical day. Now im in spiritual and mental warfare everyday. I used to play for 2+ hours every evening, which resulted in broken sleeping schedule (0Am - 1Am was my bed time). Alot of times, 2 hours of gaming can be a lot of wasted time, when in that particular day I have only 4 hours of free time. I could use that time for more productive stuff, yet I don't. I lost motivation for any creative hobby. I lost motivation for music, even thought it's a big part of me and I already achieved some bigger numbers and attention. I havent made any new song in month or so. I miss it. I want to have fun making music again. So thats why I set 40 minutes timer for gaming, instead of scrolling through youtube shorts I just lay down on floor and try to get bored, started reading Bible and connect more with Jesus Christ and the hardest part is trying to change my mindset. I don't want to view my music hobby way too seriously, I want to have fun again. I want to enjoy life again, not stress over future. I want to live in a present. hopefully this journal thing will help me reorganise my thoughts and connect with people. Until then, stay strong and resist!

It's actually prety quick since we have a dish machine (Although a small one) When I do it during the day it takes about 10 minutes for all the day's dishes , including that of the apartment mates 🙂

Entry 27.05 ( Written on 28.05) Day 606: No Useless Videos Day 603: Sticking to Food schedule Day 207: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 198: Being in bed before 23:15 Day 0: 8 pomodoros  the saga continues... =/ 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Did a lot of clicking while listening in on calls -Stayed one hour at shift manager's request in order to take a few calls for the first time at this job 🙂 -Calling embassy during food break as planned 1 Thing I could do better -When I saw that I'm running out of schedule during food prep in the morning prepare just the part of food that allows me to remain within the defined timeframe

First of all, I'm not an expert, this is mostly my opinion based on personal experience. I've been to a lot of secular addiction group meetings (not the 12-step kind) in the past, though not recently.  People go there to get support for a variety of addictions (drugs & alcohol, sex, social media, games, gambling, shopping, etc.).   It helped me kick my marijuana addiction back in ~2016 but I still struggle with gaming.  I haven't been off of games in quite some time and I must admit I'm falling behind in many areas. Anyways, a lot of newcomers to the support group would ask something along the lines of "Should I completely abstain, or can I allow myself to use on special occasions".  I may be mistaken but I think it's the general belief in the field of psychology at least, that complete abstinence is the more reliable and effective treatment.  After all, when we think about it, the rules are simple, clear, and rigid, thus we are less likely to "get away with it" if we end up "cheating" so to speak.  While it may feel harder to get the ball rolling at first, one is less likely to relapse in the long term, I believe. If you want to go with a more "moderation" focused approach, that's fine, that's your choice and it's not impossible but it's more complicated.  You must set clear rules, and you must hold yourself accountable.  If you start bending the rules and don't acknowledge your guilt and regret your actions, well... why not bend these rules a little more next time?  You get what I'm saying.  It's more "risky" per se. I think @wheatbiscuit points out well what's important to do to recover: believe in yourself and the change you want to accomplish.  You can find healthier alternatives for whatever you are trying to fill with gaming, if not let go of this craving altogether.  What helped me quit marijuana in ~2016 was the people I met at meetings and other activities.  It took some time, effort/courage, but after a while, I felt valued (despite my inadequacies) 3 to 4 times a week.  Often enough personally, that back home, alone, I didn't have as much of an "empty feeling" to stave off.  I could do things other than binge gaming or eating in between and it felt "good". Whatever, you decide to do, it's up to you comrade and I wish you luck.  Don't hesitate to get professional help if you can and don't hesitate to come back here to share your experience.  Peace out.

Entry 26.05 ( Written on 27.05) Day 605: No Useless Videos Day 602: Sticking to Food schedule Day 206: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 197: Being in bed before 23:15 Day 0: 8 pomodoros  =/ 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Gone to watch the hotel that I planned -1 hr quite quick workout -Taking some initiative by asking t click the in the system during the incoming calls 1 Thing I could do better -Clearly allowing myself to dozse off even for just 15 minutes is a killer. Though this was expected... Willpower is limited I guess, that's why the rest of the week my workouts are planned in the morning, to try to reduce sleepiness after meals in the evening and do pomodoros when more alert - 8 pomodoros count reset - did just 7.