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Gaming the System 005 - The Link Between Gaming and Depression

Ashley K.

Ashley’s Daily Thoughts

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Day 1:

I woke up feeling a little refreshed, but I was in bed most of the day just practicing drawing in my sketchbook and on Procreate and watching YouTube videos on art. It was a bit frustrating because I don’t like that I create crappy art right now. But that happens to anyone who’s starting out.

I forgot to mention that I got my first freelancing job as a Copywriter. I got the job last week, it’s only for an hour a day. I haven’t heard from my client yet because of the hurricane that’s going on in Florida. I’m contemplating if I should just wait until he contacts me or just find another client so that I can work more hours while keeping him on as my client also. 

Later on I cooked dinner and then painted a little bit, got annoyed by it because I was trying to paint realistic eyes. I don’t know why I keep trying to draw EXACTLY what I see when I know I don’t have to. I just have to draw and interpret it in my way as long as I understand what I’m seeing. 

Besides that, I kept constantly thinking about what I want to be doing next: 

— Should I continue to research how to be a better Copywriter?

— Can I also continue to teach myself how to draw and start making resin jewelry or polymer clay charms? Is it too much? Or not enough?

— What else can I do to make money so I can give my kids what they need? 

And so on. 

Majority of the time I’m at such a loss because I don’t know what’s the right thing to do. I don’t want to end up relapsing again and not make any progress. I want to be free, independent and live comfortably without any kind of financial worries. 

Where do I start? 

 

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Day 2:

Woke up really early this morning around 4:45-5:00 and I started watching a video on Skillshare on copywriting or art, I don’t remember since I started to fall asleep on it.

So I fell back to sleep and woke up again around 9 and watched video on Copywriting. I actually thought it would be hard to do but it turns out it really isn’t, so that was a relief. 

Later on,  My husband and I helped my mom clean out the basement. I was going down memory lane seeing everything again. Unfortunately, everything had to go due to mold and bugs (a handful of items were salvageable).

My husband told me that I should treat myself and play Black Ops 4 since we did so much work and we were in the heat the whole time. To be honest, I was tempted but I didn’t act on it. It doesn’t feel too great saying no, but there are going to be days like this. 

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