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reza Mrb

Some one who wants back to life

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hey everyone , my name is reza and i am from iran  and i am 20 years old. i dont know that ever happened to you , but there is nothing worst than  being jealous of yourslef in past . in the past i had great grades in school , i had great social communication , i was so popular , i played karate and score in pro level for 2 diffrent teams and many more positive things in my life . and by the past i mean when i was 14-15 years old , back to 6 years ago my familly had some really bad issues that i dont want to talk about them , those issues destroyed me mentaly  , and no one even thought 1% that i probably had any problem handeling those issues because i was very happy and active boy , but hey! i am a human too ,  just imagine first year in highschool in math final test i got perfect grade (20) and number 1 in the class and  next year i got 8 ! i didnt even pass , thing were so bad and they got worst , i started playing league of legends  and i tell you how : my cousin was a addicted person to league of legends ( LOL) a toxic player and ofcours a yasuo main (LOL players know what  i am talking about) . he entered me in the game and that when my life went even darker .  i find myself playing  LOL every single day , day and night and when i was not playing i was in youtube and watching game plays to learn even more , luckely my laptop fucked and i stop playing for 2 years . my life tho was not that great , things were the same, in iran we have a big and important test called university entrace exam(UEE) , my familly is educated familly and both my sisters and medical doctors and as a only boy people expected me to be accepted in medical school , first yaer i fucked up but not that bad , second year it was worst 10 times and this year and 3rd year i even fucked up more , today i find myself in a place that i feel i am broken and sad person meanwhile in all of that my gf left me for no reason and that made me even more broken , i even didnt finished my whole exam and left it to play more LOL .these past afew days ive been thinking alot , i want to rebuild my self and back to life ,i did  afew positive things like gave my good laptop to my dad and fixing the old one and only use it to watch movie and study , i want study English in university and meanwhile study for next UEE , people may be sarcastic to me like: omg you want to stay for the 4th year? thats fucked up .... . but i want ignor tham all , i started to go to the gym 3 times a week , i want change my account and switch it to 5 or 6 days a week , i am working to improve my english language.its been 1 hour since my last game in league of legends , i want to quite compeletly because ( like what i read in this website) the time i spent to lvl up my account i spent in my life i was much more better in my life .

Tnx for your patience for reading this ,

 

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Hey Reza, welcome to the forum! 

And your english is pretty good! If you wish to improve your english listening/speaking, I recommend doing English classes in a school where they only speak English the moment you enter there. I did that back in Brazil and it improved 100%. 

You said you stopped gaming for 2 years and things were still the same. That's really possible, since the issue might not be exactly the games, but the procrastination maybe. Like for exemple, you quit gaming, but then you just stay at home watching videos/streams/netflix or mindless browsing the internet. That's almost the same as gaming, since you're looking for instant pleasure. But the thing is, it might give you the pleasure, but right after you do it (watch video, play a lol match, etc) you probably won't feel so good about it.

One of the things that I would recommend is finding healthy activities, or just productive ones. Activities that will make you challenge yourself, like the Gym as you said. 3 days a week is perfect, I also do 3 times a week, and I've gained ~8kg in 5 months, which is REALLY awesome for me that have been always skinny my whole life. 

Other activities that you can do is ones that will take you out of your comfort zone, maybe something that you never imagined to do, like dancing, climbing, painting, going on meetups, tinder, running, going to parties (even alone), there's plenty of stuff you can do. That will open your mind, socialize a lot, challenge yourself like you never planed. 

Well anyway I've talked a lot already lol, but I feel your struggle and a LOT of people around here - like me - have been in a similar situation, and they are very supportive. So keep us posted on how it goes!

 

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