Fireside's Big Fat Journal Forum

[fireside]

Day 1.

Last night I went to bed at 10:30 PM. That's the earliest I've gone to sleep in awhile. I woke up to my 6:00 alarm not as tired as usual. Feels good. For the remainder of the morning, I packed up my rig and started posting it up on eBay. My most recent purchase was an HTC Vive, and while it was one of coolest experiences I've had, I realize that I was looking for games that featured nature when I was five feet away from the outside. Recently too, I've fallen into some financial crisis after car repairs, so any money I can make will help me get to a comfortable savings level. So, after about an hour or two, I realized how much space my desk really had, and how clean it looked without all of my gaming equipment sitting on it. I also realized just how much I had sunk into my gaming rig, and how much money I can potentially save now that I'm not purchasing games anymore.

I've got a laptop I use for college, and I figure anything I need a computer for I can do well enough on this. It takes up much less space and I appreciate how well it's held up after being dragged around for two years in my backpack. Now that I don't have the rig I can appreciate this thing for what it is.

I cleaned up a lot more stuff too. Threw away garbage I knew I'd never use. I sometimes watch dudes like Matt D'avela, and I think I'd like to adopt something akin to a minimalist lifestyle, where I only have what brings real value to my life. I've gotta be careful about this kind of thing though because I am a major-impulse buyer.

Having all this free time, I don't know what to do at the moment. I have a book with the collection of all the works written by H.P. Lovecraft, maybe I can finally finish it.

Anyways, that's it for today. Catch you tomorrow.

[fireside]

Day 2.

I never realized how often I used to game. A large chunk of my free time was by playing games or listening to the drama about the state of the gaming industry.  Today, while commuting to college, I listened to TEDx talks that interested me or popped up in the queue, and was more interested in listening to them rather than the same drivel about "Gaming Company X is doing Y so you have to pay more for the same stuff" over and over. I do have to say though, tonight at work I was at a loss for what to do when I got home since on nights like these I tended to hop on my PC for a couple of minutes and play. I don't miss gaming intensely, I just have to remind myself that I've got to come up with better uses of my time.

Since I'm trying to make a big improvement in my quality of life, I think it's time to get serious about my own physical health. I've been going to the gym and doing other activities on and off for a few years now. I'm currently 5'10" @ 235 lbs. (Give or take a hefty meal). Thankfully, It's kind of spread about my body well enough, and I'm more stocky looking. But I do have a gut, to be frank; and I'd like to get rid of it. I'm a major sweet-tooth, and I think I need to start cutting down on the sugar load. How do you keep those dieting journals? I've never been big on them, but I think a diet tracker or something would be useful for me.

Anyways, that's about it for today. I feel good about the future, and I did start to finish that book again. Catch you Tomorrow

-Fireside

[fireside]

Day 3.

I'm writing this the next morning because I got home late from work. It's nice though, as a way to earn money and also keep busy. I was talking to one of my friends the other day, and he asked when I'd next be online. I told him I was kind of "done with gaming" just for now, which I think went over well. I don't think my friends totally understand my decision for dropping gaming, but I told him, in general, it had just become a waste of time for me. I was talking to another guy about it and I think I would be interested in getting like a Nintendo Switch with more social, couch co-op games. Hell, I'd even be interested in snagging an old console with more couch co-op games. That's what I've always wanted gaming to be, a social experience with my friends. That's also probably why I dropped it more or less. Like I said before, gaming on my own wasn't as fun as the years of old, and it became a chore and a time waster.

I've been keeping better track of my diet, and I am happy to say that yesterday was pretty decent. I didn't eat a ton of garbage, and I mostly centered everything around breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's nice working at a restaurant since the healthier options are 1) free and 2) usually better recipes than what I can think of on short notice. Hopefully, I can do a repeat of that and continue to eat better.

The no-gaming remorse is just kind of a dull thought in the back of my head. I have plenty of other interests to keep me occupied, and I enjoy doing those more than I do gaming. I wouldn't be averse to playing again, but not for a long, long time. It takes 21 days to break a habit, but I signed up for a 90 day cleanse. Being free from gaming still feels fulfilling.

[goodbill]

Good for you! Keep posting your journal.

[fireside]

Day 4.

Gonna do a short one this time. Not much super exciting today. Had more work, made more cash. Always chasing that paper, you know how it is. I don't feel like I miss gaming which is a nice feeling, the feeling of accomplishment kind of goes along with it too. 

While I had time between and class and work I did make a paracord begleri, which is like two beads placed at opposite ends of a string and you spin it around and throw it around and stuff. It's a simple little thing but it was kind of meditative, I highly recommend doing something small like whittling or paracord tieing or some small thing like that on these first few weeks of being clean, it allows you to relieve the itch in your hands from not constantly pressing buttons or keys. Plus, you get to see the fruits of your labor.

Anyways, It's pretty late here so I'm gonna hit the sack. Catch you tomorrow.

[fireside]

Day 5.

Today was decent. I spent most of the day with my girlfriend, we drove around town and loitered around some antique shops for most of the day. I had a fun time, and it definitely kept everything off of my mind. I've been trying to reign in my diet, but today was a bit of a cheat, a few more snacks than I'm comfortable with, but I'll just have to take care of that later this week with some gym/kayak time. 

I just realized that you can set time limits on apps on your phone, which actually might help me deal with another addiction I have using phone apps in the background and ultimately getting distracted by them. I think I'm gonna stuff Youtube and other entertainment apps (aside from music) to 1hr per day. Start to wean myself off of them and keep my phone down so I can live in the moment.

I started to do the Pushup Deck program again. I'll post some info about it on the subreddit later, but basically: Take a card deck and draw the first card. Do the number of pushups equal to the card's digit (Ace being 1, King being 13) until you can't do it anymore. I hope to soon enough be able to do the entire card deck, the equivalent of 364 pushups. It sounds far fetched, but I am determined.

As a quick jumping off point, Not too many tonight: 5,Q,10 = 27 in one short session.

I plan on doubling that by the end of next week. Let's see if I can. 

Anyways, that's it for today. I've got more work tomorrow and then it's girlfriend time. Gonna get back to this bed at 10:30 thing too. Catch you tomorrow.

[fireside]

Day 6.

Another quick one-off before bed. Slept well and woke up even better today. I went to work ready to go, got that bread, and spent the rest of the day with my girl. I went and bought some select "healthy" snacks from the store to kind of have a meal plan for the week, set myself up. Tomorrow, I've got classes and a couple of big projects I gotta get done, so I think the best course of action is to just grind the entire day tomorrow and finish as much as I can. That said, I hope at some point to get in some physical activity, be it kayaking or the gym.

Alright, In it for a quick shower, then to bed. Gonna be a bit later than usual, but not too bad.

Deck: A,5,7,9,3,Q = 37 pushups. 10 more than yesterday.

Alright, that's it for today. Catch you tomorrow.

[fireside]

Day 7.

Hey, I did it. One full week without gaming. I'd call that a solid victory for starters. I'm starting to get that remorseful feeling, but I'm too headstrong to actually give in to it. Besides, I threw my rig in the closet so now it's a hassle to get out. I feel better about the world in general, and I'm starting to feel more focused on things. I went to the gym for a little bit today, I might go a little more tomorrow, but I'll definitely go on Wednesday.

Otherwise today has been pretty uneventful. Can't wait until the semester is over.

Deck: A, 6, 7, 10, 4, 7, K = 47 pushups.

[fireside]

Day 8.

Oh, I did manage to forget about something yesterday. I've been interning at my college's official radio station for a couple of months and I actually got to run the studio on air for an hour. It was hella fun. Later in the summer, I've applied for 2-hour shifts, so hopefully, I can do more and build up a voice profile for music and television. Will report on more once I have more to tell about it. If you're interested in what I sound like, right now I internet from 1 to 2 pm EST on 89.7 WGLS Rowan Radio. There are websites that stream it live or you can go to Rowan Radio's homepage for the link. Greg is the guy I'm shadowing, but I'm Pete on the air.

Anyways, didn't make it to the gym today. My muscles feel like death after being worked out for once in a good few weeks. Gonna go tomorrow after I recoup. I've been eating better, had some eggs today and pretty much snacked on stuff until dinner time. I've been carrying a pack of gum with me so if I ever actually do get hungry when I don't want to, I'll chew on some gum until the thought subsides.

Can't wait for the weekend and the end of the semester, my backpacking cook kit is almost complete and I really wanna get outside and go camping as much as I can. I come from a family that hates dirt, and so I only got to go a few times as a kid, but not often enough to hate it. I think now that I'm old enough to enjoy it on my own I'll have a fun time with my girl and my friends or even just myself if I can't drag anyone out.

Pushup deck was painful today, but a series of 10-second breaks and hyping myself up got me through the muscle soreness.

2, J, K, K, A, 6, 3, 6, 8, 8 = 71 pushups.

Anyways, that's it for today, hope you all have a good day tomorrow. Catch you later.

[fireside]

Day 9.

What's up, another morning post because I passed out after work last night. I made it to the gym for a little bit, but my arms are still a bit dead, so I couldn't get as much work as I wanted in. The weather's supposed to be nice though this weekend, so I think I'll hit the kayak for a little while. Not gaming feels easier than I originally thought it would, maybe because most of my time has been taken up by school/work. I still have a bit of trouble figuring out what I should do in my free time since I don't totally know what to do aside from reading and watch videos. I'll figure something out once the semester is over. I don't regret the decision to stop video gaming, I haven't seen any drawbacks from before. Waiting for the point where I'm supposed to be on edge or willing to relapse, but I doubt I will. I should thank my friends for making gaming annoying, otherwise, I think I'd still be stuck wanting to play. Since I used to constantly try to get them to play a multiplayer game with me and they would constantly refuse, it kind of soured the experience as a whole for me. So protip: have dick friends who will annoy you enough to want to quit entirely. 

It's nice though, now I have to take care of my phone addiction. I've been trying to pull back and uninstall stuff, but I keep relapsing on that. That's another big one, I think for the bit of time I have before class I'm gonna put some time locks on apps I don't want to use too much and uninstall the ones that actively waste my time.

Didn't do the deck last night for obvious reasons, but I'll post later tonight for Day 10 about it. For those of you who do read my journal, I appreciate it. Keeps me accountable and helps me stay determined. I hope I can do the same for you.

[fireside]

Day 10.

And hello again. Today was interesting, I spent the majority of it finishing a programming assignment that ended up getting pushed a week back anyways! At least I have it out of the way. Tomorrow morning I've got some soil and mulch and I'm gonna try and see if I can get up early in the morning and spread it out in my backyard to start gardening. I'd be more than happy to spend time growing my own food, plus it'll take some physical activity and it's a reason to get up early.

Otherwise today was pretty samey.

Deck: 3, Q, 10, 2, Q, A, A, J, 9, K, 4 = 78 pushups. I think I'm reaching the limit of exponential growth, now I just gotta push for every last one. 

Alright, I'm headed to bed early. Catch you tomorrow.

[fireside]

Day 11.

Haha, surprise surprise! Here's another next morning post because I died at work last night.

Yesterday was pretty uneventful as far as school goes, but man, It was definitely a garbage day at work. I keep trying to justify why I'm still working for my employer, but I am running out of patience. Before I dump a ton of complaints on you, here's the short description of it. I work at a diner as a waiter. But it's more like waiter/busperson/dishwasher/bartender/host/janitor because the front of house staff has to do quadruple of what we're paid 2$/hour plus tips for. I still enjoy my job, and all of the other waiters and buspeople I work with; but the managerial staff is absolutely terrible. One of the owners is the front-of-house manager on weekend nights, and dear god if I ever met someone who didn't know how to do their job. She orders absolutely everyone around micromanaging this and that, but when it comes to her actually doing something she tells us to do, she's absolutely incompetent about it. Last night I got skipped in the rotation 4 times before actually getting a table. Then I was doing as many dishes as I could, restocking everything, and trying to serve my tables all while she thought of new an exciting ways to take "the long way around" doing every little thing. By the time I had closed up I was ready to slam my head against the counter. Big fun, big meme, but it pays well enough for me to put up with it. But more and more I've been going out asking if other places were hiring, and now maybe it's better if I stepped it up and was determined to find a new place before the summer.

Anyways, thanks for letting me rant. I haven't had time to think about gaming because I've been too busy with work or school, but I'm sure by the summer time I'll actually care about it.

That's it for now. Catch you later. Thanks for letting me rant to those who read this.

[fireside]

Day 16.

Hey, hope you all had a good Easter weekend. It's been a couple of days, but I've been going strong. On Monday, I finished my radio training and now am a full-fledged member of the station, My shifts will pick up later in the summer, but for now, all I can do is fill in shifts. I went to the gym Monday, did a little outdoor activity Tuesday, and today I'm headed to the gym later to continue setting up my routine. I've been good about eating better, I still pig out sometimes, but I've been getting a pretty steady schedule of when to eat and what to eat. 

I can't wait for the summer. I only have a few days left before finals and I cannot wait. This semester has been so boring.

I'll get back to posting the pushup deck tomorrow or I'll edit this post later tonight. That's it for now, Catch you tomorrow.

[fireside]

Day 17.

Back on the work grind again. I've been getting better at maintaining a routine, and I think that's starting to help with having enough energy to get through the day. I'm about to sleep, but I don't feel as deathly tired as I do as two weeks ago. I'm getting better at touch typing, trying to do it right now actually. I'm not the best at it, still slow and I still make a lot of mistakes, but I'm improving. Summer is starting to ramp up. I really wanna try and wake up early in the morning and fish in the lake nearby before I head out for class. Maybe I'll try for that tomorrow. 

I'm glad I stopped gaming. Things are going well. Catch you tomorrow.