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My little story - New member


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Hi all,

First post..... I heard about this forum because of the recent BBC article in which two members of this forum went before the British government to talk about gaming addictions.   I never really thought that I was addicted until I read the article. 

Then I came to the conclusion that maybe I am,  I am 27 years old and have been gaming on and off since 1999 when i got given my first PlayStation 1.  I had a healthy relationship with games right up until my mid 20's when I bought my self a gaming PC.  As a teen I would game in my spare time but I would always do my homework, would participate in activities with friends and would even compete in Jujitsu to a national standard, winning many titles as a teen.  

But then came the moment when I bought my first gaming PC, I started playing the usual games, CSGO, PUBG and a load more but none really got me 'hooked' until Destiny 2.  I joined a clan from day 1 of release and started playing in my spare time, but then i noticed that people were progressing a lot quicker than me so I started playing more and more to try and catch up and eventually overtake them.  I then left the clan as I wanted to find people like me, who played pretty much everyday.  It came to a point where I would be going to sleep between 2-4 am because we would be doing a raid challenge or trying to get a new item that released that day.  Waking back up at 7 for work.  I would obviously be tired in work and would make silly mistakes that I wouldn't normally do. This probably went on until as recent as November 18 when i finally quit Destiny.  This however did not stop my addiction, I started playing a game with an old college friend called Ring of Elysium (if you don't know it, think PUBG but slightly less realistic)  and now its pretty much all we play, probably because we get a lot of wins.   When he went offline I would then go and play CSGO surf with an old Destiny Clan member which I would do for hours and hours. 

It has come to a point where I am lying to my girlfriend in order to get another round in before I pick her and my 2 year old little girl up from her parents (which I do not go over to as I use this time to game).  I think about gaming for most of the day, as soon as I finish work the first thing on my mind is 'I can now go home and game' as apposed to now I can go home to see my daughter and girlfriend.  I have a pretty good job (Management accountant) and soon I will be going to University part time to complete a degree, I am very scared that I will fail this due to my gaming addiction. 

Having said all this, I do not want to quit gaming all together and after reading a few threads on this forum I can see that the general consensus is that this does not work.  However I would like to try to give it a go and see where I end up after say 6 months.  I will probably start a journal on here at some point to try and use it as a benchmark to see how far i go etc.  I have already made changes in the last 24 hours since I came to the realisation that I am indeed addicted to gaming,  I have signed up for a gym membership (I am 9 stone or around 120lbs for you non Brits ;), so not overweight), I also only spent around 2 hours gaming last night as apposed to 5-7 hours and I got some chores done that have been needed to be done for weeks.  Small steps but super proud of my self.  I hope to try and contribute as much as I can around here and look forward to getting to know a few of you! 

Thanks for reading. 

Keechy

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Welcome to the forum,

I know the feelings all too much about relationship problems.

I was like you.  I tried to moderate it, but at the end of the day, it is just a giant waste of time.  Why don't you want to quit?  It is that addiction, man... you feel like you can't quit.  You feel like you have invested so much already that you would be losing all that time if you were to quit.

That time is already lost.  The money, lost.  The effort, lost.  Nothing in the games is real.  Imaginary payouts for real effort.  Make belief things that cost part of your life.  Realize that it is already all lost.

Alcoholics can't moderate their drinking, long-term, just as a game addict can't moderate playing, long-term.  Just get rid of it, for good.  Your family will be all the better for it.

Q

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Thanks for the reply SilentQ.

One of the reasons I do not want to quit is because I really enjoy gaming. I get to socialise with a friend who I hadn't spoken to for many years due to him living pretty far from me.   I have read a few threads where this has now been said but I just feel that for me this is doable. I am not in the same situation as most, my girlfriend isn't close to leaving me over my gaming  addiction, my job has never been at risk, my IRL friends are still there. (I am pretty lucky) I just have a very unhealthy relationship currently with gaming. 

I understand this is not going to be a popular choice on this forum but I feel I can personally do this so will give it my best shot.  I will also be the first to hold my hands up if after 6 months I have seen no improvement / gotten worse.  

Edited by keechy1231
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