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Oak lee

Escape to reality day 145

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So I've been working my full time job for just over a month now, I have 600 saved for my car and already have 250 in supplies ive bought. I'm doing great in that aspect but I would be lying if I said everything was fine. All of my vices have multiplied 5 fold. I'm back to playing hours of games, eating food for comfort and indulging in pornography. And that's after getting twice the dose of my psych meds. Working full time and sometimes overtime has been a shock to my system after being neet for 8 months. I tried fighting my urges but I've just said fuck it so I can at least not hate myself every day. 

I need better coping mechanisms, I predicted all of this would happen before I knew the stress would get to me. 

When I have the car running I'll change but right now I'm just going to let this happen. Defeatist I know but as long as that number in my bank keeps rising I'll be able to carry on. 

Not all is lost, but much was traded away. 

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