I'm Free.

As I mentioned in other posts, I relapsed when my best friend died, I spent a couple weeks gaming.  But at one point I was sitting there, playing the same old levels, skipping the same memorized dialog, performing the same attack and levelling strategies, and I realized I was making myself exhausted for - well, nothing.  

In other words, instead of taking 20 years to realize this was a giant waste of time, it only took a couple of weeks.  That red line - the one where I realize This is stupid, what am I doing with my time? passed and I uninstalled it again.

But this time instead of feeling loss, I felt freedom.  Instead of wondering if I will make it, I find myself full of regret that I downloaded them at all.  

Slowly I find that I regain control of my own will.  I am not trapped.  Not anymore.

Edited August 6, 20187 yr by Some Yahoo