Where to begin?

[Terry_1962]

This is my first post. A little intro might help. I am 56 years old and have been playing games since I was a kid basically. I was introduced to the internet with my first computer in 1998. I messed around with it but got into gaming in 2005 since then I have been hooked but in the past year and a half I have lost interest in almost everything I used to do. I played guitar, read books, and mostly played games to the point that I have spent a lot of money, and valuable time and neglected the rest. Like I said tho I am losing interest even in games. I just log in and sit for a few minutes may talk may not depends then I log out. I have discord on my computer and about the only game I am active in is a browser game based on the Star Wars Universe it's called Star Wars Combine. I am on that every day but it seems not to take to much time. What I really like in this game is the community I am involved in. Anyway I am wanting to give this game up too as I am getting older plus I smoke and I want to quit so I can live longer. Where do I start? How do I go about telling these people I can't play anymore and how do I find some new interests. I am depressed and apathetic finding it very hard to find anything else to get going on. Sorry for such a long post but this is my story and my delimma.

[Dannigan]

Hi Terry,

Welcome to GQ.  It's a good community and many caring folks here.

First off, congrats for realizing that you're becoming bored with gaming, and deciding to make a change in your life, with a focus to improve yourself.  It also takes courage to step away from a gaming community.  This is a nice segue leading to my next question.

Do you consider your Discord community as 'friends'?  I have to ask this hard question because the social aspect of gaming is what keeps people playing these games.  Cam Adair has a video about how to keep friendships with your gaming friends even though you no longer play video games.  I don't have the link, but you can look it up on YouTube.  I would be prepared to face some resistance at first, from the community.  These people are gamers, probably for life, and there will always be some sort of friction when a community member leaves and focuses on other life goals.  So, just expect that at first.  Eventually, they may start to accept your decision, and you may be able to maintain friendships with some individuals.

How do you start?  And where do you start?

Well, what do you want to accomplish?  List your short-term goals.  List your long-term goals.  Heck, list your weaknesses and whether you want to improve or overcome them.  Smoking cessation may be a long-term goal.  How are you going to achieve this?  Write this down.  Write down ALL of your future goals, go away to some quiet library or home study area, and spend the afternoon reflecting on how you want to improve your life.

1.  Journaling is an amazing way to focus on short-term goals, reflect on your progress, write down your most personal thoughts, re-read your previous posts.  You can start journaling on GQ if you want support, or you can choose to write in a private journal.  Your choice.  I find that staying connected with this community has helped me over the last year. 

2.  Rewarding yourself after you complete a goal.  Doesn't matter if it's a small goal.  Reward is a motivator.  I recommend reading The Power of Habit.  This book sheds light on what TO DO to change your habits.  One of the best books I've ever read for self-improvement.

3.  Watch some of Cam's videos.  Or listen to podcasts related to quitting gaming.

4.  Get a calendar, and write in your daily goals, or weekly goals, monthly goals.  Have a time-line that is VISUAL reminder.

Basically, you're gonna be revamping every thing in your life eventually.  Start with one small habit to achieve, which is your cornerstone habit.....get that one habit down, and the rest will follow. 

Anyway, that's my two cents worth.  Take what you need and leave the rest.  It's doable.  It's just a matter of taking action.  Action FIRST, then motivation follows.  Never the reverse. 

~ Dani