GoldStarJournal

[GoldStarBrother]

I've actually been keeping a paper journal for a while but that's pretty personal and I like the idea of doing another public one as well. Today I pretty much goofed off and procrastinated on things I have to do. After that I got fed up with myself and bought this book (been meaning to do so for a while), and started reading it. When I got to the first "Action Step" I mentally filled it out and kept going because I'm reading it digitally and I couldn't write on the PDF (maybe make it a fillable form, that'd be cool).

 

I kept reading for a bit, but skipping past that section kept bothering me. It was the type of thing that I'd do all the time with self-help or learning resources - skip an interactive/writing section because there was friction involved in doing it. I tell myself just want the information and it's the same if I just think about what the answer would be. Deep down I know it's not going to work as well if I do it this way, and I know I need to start doing things differently. So I go get my notebook and do the Action Steps. It feels good. Then I read the next chapter, and get to a Action Step about joining this forum and starting a journal. I skip it, thinking "oh I'll do it later", but I don't get very far. I go to this forum, write an intro post and now I'm writing this.

 

Next I'm going to try to delete games off my computers. I don't know if I'm ready to go full nuclear and delete all of the progress I've made on those games. I don't think I will, but I'm sure this is a mistake. I'm writing this paragraph so that if/when I eventually relapse and go back I might find the will to do what needs to be done. Hopefully I'll be strong enough to leave that progress as a monument to all the time I spent, never to be touched again.

 

I like the idea of writing things you're grateful for every day, so here goes. I'm grateful for/that:

- I've taught myself skills to get a job doing what I love (even though the will is lacking)

- I have a loving family with a roof over my head and ready access to food

- I live where I live; I truly love my state and the area where I live. I want to live here for the rest of my life.

- I've found enough will to buy this book and join this forum. Doing this kind of thing is uncharacteristic for me

- I'm still pretty young, hopefully I have lots of life left to make up for my youthful blunders

Edited May 23, 2018 by GoldStarBrother

[GoldStarBrother]

Today I was pretty productive. Went to a meeting and made a draft of an app for a client. Forgot to do this until really late so I'm not going to write much.

 

Grateful for

- My network, I can get jobs to support myself

- Beer brats

- Popcorn

- My old company giving me my work computer when I left