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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened

Hermit by day, Stalker by night


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I've been playing since I was 9 years old and I'm soon going to be 27, That's about 1k days until I'm 30 which is fkn terrifying. Just thinking back since I was 20 it feels like it was yesterday and the computer is just vacuuming that shit out of me. Something has to change or I will literally die in my parents basement. Chilling when I'm 50 at my parents house playing some CSGO or Total war 17 will make them so proud I've thought. Oh and since my introduction I've relapsed twice, if you can believe it, thats twice in two days. :/

The first day I did great in the morning and told myself not to even touch a device. I then got the great idea that I should start to write a personal letter for an application to a writing school for next year and BAM! I spent four hours straight playing video games, watched two movies and binged youtube videos on my ipad until I fell asleep around 3:30, hurray for me! Tomorrow I thought I should go to the outdoor gym as soon as I woke up to make up for it.

Second relapse was a few hours in on the second day when I told myself I'd work on my social skills over voice coms in a video game, yeah it sounds stupid now but damn did it make sense when I was thinking about it. The reason I never went to the outdoor gym was that it snowed for a while and it was too cold, gosh I really need to work on my self discipline. It isn't too late yet though, 19:53 here so might give it a try who knows.

Anyways, I've done some thinking and as soon as my next grant comes in I'll invest in Respawn and the Self authoring program, if anyone has anything to say about the self authoring that would be great because I've only heard about it on videos where they're promoting it so I dunno if it's worth the money. Seeing as I would usually spend the money on dlcs, crates and keys I think this might be a better investment :P

Five things I'm happy about today is:

1. I actually sat down an hour studying HUZZAH!

2. Stopped playing videogames again (even though I probably spent like five hours playing today ugh..)

3. Sat down and wrote this entry, even though I felt like a piece of crap.

4. I've gone over a few things like life goals and etc and feel like there's still hope!

5. This forum and the videos that brought me here, even though I kinda had to admit to myself that I was consumed by games. The scary thing is that I didn't notice it until I tried staying away to prove that I wasn't addicted and then notice how these urges just kicked in my brain "OH GOSH IT WOULD BE REAL NICE TO PLAY A GAME OF CSGO RIGHT NOW" and then it turns off for a second and then on then off, on, off, on, off... felt horrbile O.o 

I'll leave it at that and will probably not make another entry unless something really crazy happens until I've got Respawn & sap. 

Have a good one!

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