6 years Clean

[Paris]

Hello guys,

I am Paris, 31 years old and I am glad to say that I have quitted 6 years to this day. 
It's been very rough all these years since gaming consumed my teens and early adulthood so I am trying everyday to catch up with everything I was behind.

 I am going to the gym everyday and I graduated with a degree in finance and mathematics couple of years ago. Now I am following a double masters in finance and econometrics and hopefully next year I will be ready to roll my career a little bit later than the usual.

What I found to be very hard is the development of a social life. I have some lifelong friends but as we get older everyone lives in different places and countries and we meet rarely. What I wish is to be able to connect with more people in real life and find a nice and pretty girl.

I know the desperation when you guys try to quit but cannot. I was one of you. Every single day for 12-15 hours at the computer playing games. Being left with "friends" from those games. Trying to quit and having to deal with "boring" real life. 

But hey real life is not boring , we make it interesting. Step by step build a new life. You will be lonely yes. And sad also. But when the initial urge goes off, fighting every day will make you stronger.

Try to find a whatever activity that slightly interests you and no matter how awkward you might feel keep doing it. I believe a sport or simply going to the gym help immensely. At least they helped me. Consider all these activities as grinding. You start at level 1 being a noob that has no idea what to do in the game and you level up. In a x amount of time you will have achieved a x level and that will bring you satisfaction since it is really hard to excel at a thing. Consider how many hours you played a game to master it.

Wish you all to find your true self out there under the shadow of a tree in a park, hanging out with good friends.

 

[Wildermyth]

Congratulations on 6 years! That's a really strong effort!

What has worked for me as well is to start with sports and strength training. It's a great way to experience progression in real life as your body becomes more agile and capable. For me skiing has been a lifechanger as it also makes for a great sense of adventure and occasional socializing.

What I found out rather quickly in terms of finding new friendships is that most people are caught up in addictive loops where they are mostly passive outside of work. Everyone recharges their batteries differently and it's important to set aside some cooldown time, but many people stretch this and get constantly stuck in passive mode. This is especially painful to observe when you've started on the path of recovery and can see things more clearly. Suddenly you are the one trying to live life to the fullest but your surrounding people are mostly benched on the sideline.

I think it's important to socialize with people who at least share some of your values regarding a healthy lifestyle; that way you always have access to great activities and important social contexts. People who like to hike for instance are very prone to spend time outdoors, even for the smallest amount of activities. They are used to be on the move constantly and being passive for too long might feel uncomfortable to them. I also feel like people with this kind of hobby have a strong disciplined mindset as physical activity is just a natural part of experiencing life for them, and the more you can tap into that yourself the better off you are in the long run.