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Hi! I was qutting my mobil phone game I have been addicted for years for 2 days ago. I have my game name here I see now😅 SeekNDestroy. I was blogging about it the same day, I created a blog just for write about this only thing. It's here

 

It's been not easy this.. I tried years back to end this mobil phone game. I put out a post in the games community about my frustrations. ”Capybara" in this game (No man's land The Walking Dead) recruited me to his guild Dead Stalkers. I had deleted my games account . I build it up again now in this guild for years. I was a co leader in this guild. And this guild was a family. Dead Stalkers 3 i was on when I quitted. I had been in Dead stalkers 4 for years. But now they have changed that guild to another name. Dead Squeakers. Capybara is himself in mainguild Dead Stalkers. It's s hardcore guild. They have  global lists . He is on that beyond the 100 most high stars players in the world.

 

I'm from Sweden and I was on the 53 on the local Swedish guild in this game. Last week's I didn't sleep, hardly didn't eat or had not been out . Didn't shower. All i thought about was this game. Now I'm sick from work until April because of exhausted, it's because of my family. I go in therapy. 

 

I asked my therapist for some weeks ago: What is the goal with this game?? When she didn't answer I told her what I thought the goal was: To be number on on the global list around the world! The 100 best players in the world . She just shook her head.

 

She said that I can't control my family situation.  And therefore I play this game. Because In this game, I have fully control about killing the zombies.

 

I finally understood how deeply addicted I was . I reach out to another Swedish players in our guld. We was talking day and night on LINE app, mostly I had been talking with Capybara, who was a kind of leader of all guilds. And recruiting everyone. Decided who and so on. Who to boot from the game. He decided everything. But now I tried to talk to other players also. This Swede said to me when I told him I wanted to quitting that I should talk to Capybara. And I felt I can't do that. He said it was the most honest to do, but I felt I couldn't. I just couldn't

Than something happened. I was the co leader in my guild. I was up before work and did war plans for the other players . Can you believe it? I was always full of stress going to work. And this Guild war against other guilds and player in the game, we could choose two days to play war. From Tuesday to Sunday. I was playing this at work , all day and also all night until the early morning. I knew what each player could do for sectors or island in this war. Me myself finally did sector 12. It was just two sectors left for me to take and I could them all. That was 20 and 19. Yes, also 18. So 3 left.

I had completed the whole challange once. But not without with little help by paying for some gold.

I finished the Distance hard map.

 

I had grown this year's  

 

I can tell you I had played everyday all this year's .

 

A player hadn't used up one single sword in the war, we had 18. This was not the first time.  I said I couldn't forgive this. And I was not the only one. Leaders and so said the same and the leader in my guild booted him. But another player in our guild was not nice to me. That had happened before, and I hadn't pay any attention to that. Now suddenly I stated to cry. I told him to fuck off. Maybe I Shocked the whole guild. I said I was sorry but no one said anything. This guy took a lot of stars, more than me. But he couldn't take sector 12 as me. Anyway, leader said everyone must calm down. Maybe we was tired. We all was doing great. And so on.

 

But I couldn't stop crying. I cried all night too. It was something similar that had happened last time I deleted the account . I tried to talk about how addictied we all was in the big chats where all Dead stalkers family could talk, players in all level. But Capybara said no, we are not addictive and bla bla bla.

 

I tried talking but no. Anyway. I KNEW how adficted I was. And I understood that they will never support me in this. Not be happy if I leave. You know, I deleted the LINE app. Than I went to the guild in game chat and said to this guy I had deleted LINE because of him. He said : Really?? WOW. And I said "wow, what?" I told him if he didn't stop whatever he was doing to me I was going to leave the gulid. Maybe that is what you want, I said . And I told him how much I had been crying. Than I left the guild.

And Capybara found me just some seconds I left LINE on discard. "Hi Seek, how are you ?" And we talked about this and he .. I don't remember anymore but when he saw that I had left the guild also , wish I did when we was talking, someone must have told him, because he is not in mine guild, he was not happy anymore. "Who the hell is Carlito that is so important that you left the guild because of him!?" He asked. I shouldn't had left. And maybe he thought I could come back how some. But what I did was that I deleted the Discard app as well.

I was free!!! I was listning to praise song and i slept for the Whole night without sleeping pills! Next day I went out to the sun . To my church. I eating with them and laugh. And they said over and over again how much they missed me. Capybara on the other hand said to me no one cares about anything than the game.  They will forget me immediately. Saying that to me got me longing after real friends. So much. I felt that the game is not everything anymore. And it saddest thing of it how much time I have lay down on people who don't give a shit about me. Why did I do this? Well. Not anymore. I found while I was googling someone that also left . He prayed. And he showed that . I prayed that too. And I felt helped. Yes . Yesterday I was in church too. Told my friends there what's happened. Today it's not that happy day . I have headache. But I'm still free. And today I found you.

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