Mental health issues + difficulties in relationships

[Lucky21]

Hey everyone!

I am new to this program and this community and I just want to share a little bit about who I am :) 

Why do I want to quit gaming?

I am a 19 years old male and I am currently studying in one of the most competitive school in my province and schoolwork is giving me a lot of anxiety. I was diagnozed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) over a year ago and gaming was a sure way for me to run away from it. But at the same time, I was running away from life. Multiple life circumstances made me anxious and gaming (and YT) made me ignore all of them: (1) Heavy workload at school (2) Competitiveness at my school which creates a lot of stress (3) I was underperforming at school (4) Missing the meaning of life (5) Being rejected multiple times by girls in a row (6) Insecurity about how to act in social and intimate circumstances (7) Sensitivity (I'm probably an HSP) (8) Failure from religion to support me in my hardships (mental health is so misunderstood by religious leaders). It's not by f*****g praying and being told that you just need to think more positively that you get better. I walked away from religion since then. (9) Perfectionism : I'm born in an asian family and there's a lot of pressure to perform even though my parents are super nice. Perfection and competitiveness are just there. They are almost in your blood. (10) Modern dating : Now that I am dating girls, I feel this urge of running away from anxiety by playing video games returning. The complexity of the situations, your sexual and emotional needs, the social expectations (from church, school, friends, family, social media, etc.) are really making me anxious. I overthink every possible scenario and schoolwork is adding more pressure to me. Should I date this girl or that girl? How should I act on my first, second date? WHY ISN'T SHE RESPONDING TO ME ON TIME??? I don't think that she's interested because if she is, why is ____this____ happening? 

 

Gaming was like taking off the fire alarm when there's a real fire burning down your house. You think that just by ignoring your feelings, you will feel better and everything will be better. But no. It's not the case. 

 

So I think that by learning to cope with my emotions and incertainties without gaming would immensely boost the quality of my life. That's why I enrolled in this program :)

[SerinaGold]

Excellent post I am glad you are here. Stay strong, we are a community and stand together. You have an excellent life story and I hope to hear more from you on how it goes with being game free.

[Captain_Pilz]

Glad you're here. You have a good grasp on your reasons to play video games and what makes quitting difficult for you. You are not alone in this struggle. Looking forward to hearing from your journey.