conorshand Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 Day One It's funny coming back to my old, incomplete, Respawn journal from 2018. Reading the reasons as to why I play video games, and the reasons I want to quit, are jarringly similar to where I'm now at once again, but 5 years apart. The former being escapism, boredom, anxiety and depression, the latter to be dependable, to grow, to ultimately live. Five years later and I'm asking the same questions and giving myself the same answers. It makes me wonder, what if I'd stuck at it, completed the course, and somehow managed to shake the monkey brain motivation to watch level up after level up. Equally pertinent a point however is the fact that if the questions and answers in the Respawn journal are just the same now as they were then, that it is more evident than ever that I need to try this again, firmly, and stick to it. I have lost a great deal through my videogaming and lack of self-management, though equally accomplished a great deal in spite of it. Here's hoping with Round Two of Day 1 that I can fine tune the balance between the two to be a little more in my favour. Gratitude journal Ultimately I'm extremely lucky my friends and family have put up with me being a manchild for as long as I have. Or rather more generously for my lack of self-management and the extensive support I've been provided regardless. One amazing thing that happened/I did today My flatmate covered me for three weeks rent because my priorities are out of kilter. Workout/run - Chest day (every day) Meditation I'll try it? Visualisation I need to figure out what this means. Daily affirmation Can Reading + taking notes Just the Respawn and Challenge books tonight, then perhaps leisure reading in bed (screens are now banned) Getting to bed before 9pm Definitely not, woke up at 4pm. But will have a go. Weekly Goal(s) Get a schedule back up and running and follow it daily. Prioritize. No video games whatsover At least 20 total efforts towards employment Gym every day Monthly Goal New job 3 Month Goal Completely quit gaming Completely quit vaping 90kg @ gym Financially stable What went well today: I started. What I could have done to make my day better: Started before waking up at 4pm. What I will do differently tomorrow: Set an alarm, with timers. No phone use in bed from waking, only reading or audiobook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conorshand Posted March 1, 2023 Author Share Posted March 1, 2023 Day Two Nothing spectacularly to report, but have gotten a bunch of things on the to do list done which is fantastic, including; Conversations with recruiters regarding jobs. Woke up earlier than yesterday. Got life admin bits done. Went to the gym. Not unhappy, 0 video gaming and spent less time on phone etc. Gratitude journal Grateful for family support network, GQ as a resource and Cam's work, and fact that getting back on the rails seems fairly tangibly possible. One amazing thing that happened/I did today Spoke with Cam and booked in psych, first lot of progress towards long term fixes rather than band aids fixes Workout/run - Back and arms day Meditation Didn't try it yesterday, now on the cards today (have put on to do list) Visualisation I still need to figure out what this means. Daily affirmation One day at a time g Reading + taking notes Screens remain banned, reviewing Respawn and Challenge books now, then got a couple of relaxing ones on standby Getting to bed before 9pm Woke up at 1pm instead of 4pm so we'll call it progress. Up at 10am tomorrow though ✨ Weekly Goal(s) Get a schedule back up and running and follow it daily. Prioritize. No video games whatsover At least 20 total efforts towards employment Gym every day Monthly Goal New job 3 Month Goal Completely quit gaming Completely quit vaping 90kg @ gym Financially stable What went well today: I continued starting. What I could have done to make my day better: Started in the AM (dreams are possible) What I will do differently tomorrow: Set an alarm, with timers. No phone use in bed from waking, only reading or audiobook. Need to try this one again, did only spend 5 minutes on it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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