Third Times a Charm : another Daily Journal

[KeepMoving]

2nd Day,

Welp, this this my third time here.

I've moved on from college and gotten a job. I've moved around and burned down a few possible lives. Now I'm somewhere stable and it looks like my team supports me. Hopefully I'll become someone useful to them... and earn lots of money hahha

Now, life outside my career... That is neglected. So, here I am, again.

Steam is set to end
So that a new life begins
again and again

[KeepMoving]

3rd Day,

Feeling aimlessness
times hands spinning without end
No target in sight

[KeepMoving]

28 days to deletion

I guess I can't escape so easily. But, with this deletion timer there is hope. A new place I will move too soon, and for once I will have a chance to center myself.

[KeepMoving]

27 days

Had to confront the main person I was gaming with. I never believed that that place really wanted me, but it was a very accommodating place to everyone. Shame to leave it really.

[KeepMoving]

Unsure what to track., But here I am again. In desperate need of accountability I guess.
There's some career related actions that I must take, but they will take much time and dedication.

As strategy, meant to switch to macbook, but having a powerful windows pc unlocks potential. Agonizing. Can't decide

So, here to track.

I think I have an idea.
Each game will be listed.
It's hook
I will devise a replacement.
They will be listed everyday... until it is replaced.
Sometimes, I may muse about the game... trying to get a grasp

I will avoid listing ... anything explicitly good about something. Can't find spoiler tag hmmm. It's important to tackle these head out.

 

Genshin Impact
A dangerous one. Not even because of the content, for it's content actually goes pretty quickly. Could be like Zelda if that was just it. No... it's the gacha system. A system designed to ensnare the bind into repeated habits. Heck, it's not even the gacha. Though it is. It's the fact that every day you Don't play, you miss out on the currency needed to pull. It's like going to a casino and being told you can only pull half as much as the next person, all because you weren't dedicated enough. Just play everyday, and you will have the greatest chance to get what you want. Sinister. If I want to quit, it's permanent since I will miss out on so much. hooked like a fish.

I think this is most dangerous because there is some social aspect going on. something... I can't define. It's an isolated game. What is it. What replaces it. I feel like this one strikes at the heart of my isolation and is thus a consequence of it. The habitual control. Hm. It consumed time that is not planned. Jeeze what an opponent. Let's stop the others first.

Overwatch
Not a threat... recent fun. I guess I should just uninstall

No Mans sky.
Fresh, can just uninstall. Not a threat

Major games on top of head. I will delete two before tomorrow. List others.





 

[KeepMoving]

Days free
Impact (1)
OW(0)
NMS (1)
Pinocchio Souls (1 ) I WANT TO SO BAD

Thoughts
Weird that OW is the bigger threat. I just want to turn off brain and shoot things. Maybe I was already in the burnout phase of impact. Still unsure if I should just bind up this computer and place it to the side for now. It's worked in the past... I might. I'll be on vacation with only my laptop soon so maybe I should. I think... I should bind it.
For this month. Will be on vacation awhile.

Possible solution
Flow state. That's what I want. To actually get into something and enjoy it. To flow into something better. To grow.
I have a career though... and a skill that is slowly sharpening... or maybe it isn't.
I

Bitterness
I remember... a long time ago where I literally destroyed my gaming PC just to put a stop to this. Why is it so difficult. Why have I not found a replacement. *sigh*
 

[KeepMoving]

Well, I have deleted most from my computer. In the end I must shrink the role of this gaming pc. One step at a time.