The Spell is Broken

[The_Creative_Quitter]

Hello to all of you, I want to say I appreciate what is being done here very much.  Thank you to Cam and all of you battling this.

I've played games a very long time, and worked in the industry for a few years but left not to return, because I didn't like where it was going.  Up until today I was at a point where I would only play an hour or two in the evenings, but found myself slowly getting sucked into later and later hours.  I have tried to fully quit before but would completely forget the problems game playing can cause, rationalizing that "just a casual game" or "I'll limit the time."   Even when I was limiting the time...I kept asking myself WHY.   WHY am I playing this game?  I wasn't actually having all that much fun...lol...   All for these pseudo-goals and achievements?   I also rationalized "it helps my brain wind down, zone out" -- in reality, I think it has been taxing my adrenal system and causing worse and worse sleep ability.

This is very personal but I hope it's okay to say - I believe in God, and in prayer I asked Him, what is causing this?  And the very unexpected answer was "you're under a spell."  So I asked him in prayer, to break the spell, take it off me - and today I deleted ALL games from my computer - it's bizarre, like a fog is lifting in my mind.  I do believe that early video games were innocent and fun, but over time... they have become progressively more evil and deceptive.  I allowed myself to be yoked by it even if only "part time" - it still adds up greatly.  I'm calling it "Spellbound" but ...  Trance, Hypnosis, Under Manipulation - it's all the same thing.  I also see where technocracies are wanting to take us and I see nothing good there either.

I came across Cam's booklist today and am particularly interested in the book titled (I think) "Hooked" - planning to give that a read.  It's strange suddenly "waking up" like this, after thinking I was "fine" for so long.  I am both feeling a little anxious but hopeful at the thought of having more time to be doing the good things in life.  For me, the challenge will be socially as my day job is isolating and I am also an artist (as I see some of you are here).  

Thank you for providing this place for me to vent and cope!  Bless you all,

-TCQ