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About Me

Found 4 results

  1. Hey! My name is Max and I’m 17 yo Russian guy. A little intro how I fucked up my life. I wasn’t big fan of computer games until 13. That year I decided to move from regular school to online education. I thought that education system in my country is a mess and I’m wasting time on things that aren’t important to me. Thought that I could better manage my time. After I started studying online indeed I had much more free time, lessons and homework were taking only 2-3 hours a day. But instead of filling that void with something healthy and meaningful I started playing games on PS4. That wasn’t really the issue back then. I was playing casually a couple of hours a day and after that managed to reduce it to only 1 hour a day (I set a timer every time I played). I was learning programming and electronics, and even tho I didn’t communicate with others a lot I didn’t feel the need at all. I was happy with what I got in general. And then Overwatch open beta came out... I installed Overwatch on my console just because everyone in gaming community was talking about it, and beta was totally free, so why not give it a try? And I liked that game, it felt so fast, gameplay on every hero was different. So I started to play overwatch casually for a couple of hours a week alongside other games I had. After half a year or so I lost interest in other games and switched to Overwatch. After a while I felt that console is holding me back because all good players and pros were playing on PC. I bought Overwatch for my laptop and it felt a lot better aiming on mouse compared to controller, but my game was lagging a bit so after half a year I raged and broke my laptop with a hammer (I still despise myself for doing it). But instead of quitting and investing my time on something else I was thinking only about playing Overwatch and after 3 months of suffering without gaming I built my own PC for Overwatch. I played like this for 2 more years, my rank was slowly improving (I was trying to get better at the game, constantly trying to climb on another rank, after that setting my goal on rank higher etc. Every win gets you rank points and I became addicted to them). All that time I was barely studying, not interested in anything but Overwatch. Constantly watching streams of good players and thinking on what could I improve in my play. I was more than addicted, Overwatch became my reality. After reaching master (second best rank in the game) I joined a team of players of my skill level. We were practicing together and playing tournaments. At that period of time I was thinking about being a pro player despite my dream of being engineer. Nothing else mattered to me. One year ago I became grand master (best rank in the game) and then reached position in top 500 players in Europe. I was playing with teams and solo. Always in need to reach rank higher than my current. Last 2 years sometimes I was getting angry on myself for wasting all my time on useless game instead of studying and talking to people, making friends, working out and doing hobbies. I uninstalled the game more than 30 times past few years, but I always relapsed. Sometimes I managed to stay clean for a month, sometimes relapsing in less than a day. When I am not in a game I realize how lonely I am and how empty my life is, so I start to think about the game and good moments I had in it. I reached the point where I’m not even having fun in the game anymore, Overwatch is toxic with trash community, people are always insulting each other in the game, so I rage all the time when someone in my team is playing poorly or insulting me. I’m just playing it to fill my life with something, I don’t know how to live differently. I tried to play other games instead, like The Witcher 3, Sekiro or even Minecraft. And every time I am getting bored after a couple of hours, they remind me of Overwatch and I’m ending up playing it. So I am not addicted to computer games in general, I am addicted to Overwatch. I guess it’s because I’m good at the game and don’t need to learn anything new or because Overwatch is the only place where I interact with people. So, I guess the main reasons I’m addicted to Overwatch are: 1) Interacting with people 2) Being good at the game which makes me feel happy 3) Ranking system without skill ceiling 4) Competing with other players 5) Escaping real life where I’m miserable 6) Killing time But everything’s changed recently, 6 days ago I uninstalled [again]. I made a promise to myself that this time I won’t relapse. I gave away my gaming 144 Hz monitor and bought 60 Hz instead. I’m thinking about selling my GPU and buying something not powerful enough to run Overwatch. I also think about getting rid of Windows (I use Linux as my main OS, but I have Windows installed alongside on another hard drive). I uninstalled all games I had even tho I didn’t play anything but Overwatch. I deleted my twitch and unsubscribed of all gaming channels on youtube. So yeah, now I have a lot of free time and I need to do something with it, otherwise I’ll relapse again. Currently I’m reading a very good book about how computers work (on transistor level in a chip). And I have a couple more good books to read about electronics and computers. I bought online courses to learn Java programming language as well. In a week I’ll resubscribe to my workout and nutrition program. I’m not really struggling with talking to people so I think when I’ll start going outside (maybe find some interesting courses or something like that) I’ll make some friends for sure. I have a lot of experience in relapsing (30+ times lol) so I think it is important to keep track of your time. I started using an app where you can set a timer for certain tasks, so in the end of the day you’ll have an idea what you’ve done. Ah, and it’s my last year in school so I need to prepare for exams properly this time. Special thanks to @Marek and @BooksandTrees. Your stories inspired me to write my own. I guess that’s all I wanted to tell. Think I’m gonna update it weekly just because I feel like daily style is not for me. Wish ya’ll a nice day! Max
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  3. Vera

    Moving on

    Hello everyone! Some of you definitely know me because I'm a member of the Discord chat under the same name (my previous nickname - Farant). For those who don't - my name is Vera, I'm 25 years old, female, from Russia. My English isn't particularly great, so don't mind my mistakes, please. I felt the need to start journaling after something bad happened in my personal life just yesterday. I've been journaling for more than 10 years on paper, so I know the drill. I'm afraid to touch my journal right now, I'll get back to it later when I'm ready. I've been a gaming addict for several years, abandoned gaming and the internet entirely for a couple of months, but it didn't really help a lot. Games were my escape from reality. I think I started thinking about it seriously last spring, became familiar with GameQuitters on Youtube. I used to play very niche online game with the toxic community, servers that died every now and then, the game was very addictive. I quit only when I got really angry at myself for wasting so much time on nothing. As time went on, I've joined Discord, did about 40 days out of 90, relapsed multiple times and eventually decided I want to play, but only one game because of my boyfriend. But the game gave me strong motion sickness, I didn't like it and I already deleted it, so I have nothing on my hard drive. I enjoy keeping an aquarium, knitting, programming, reading, journaling (obviously). I’m into Stoicism, I’m far from perfect but I’m using every opportunity to learn more and apply it in my life. I can’t say my life is empty, but I feel empty right now. I have the chance to turn it 180 degrees. I decided I’ll go to the gym once again and just try to be social, let it be the first step. It will help me hold on and not give in to depression right away. I’ve also asked my friend to go to the cinema with me when the new How to train your dragon comes out. The more I reach out to people, the more I realize I have friends I can count on. So here I am, day one. I’ve prepared things I need for the gym, tried to eat (not very successful, but better than nothing) and it’s time to go to sleep.
  4. My Sobriety Journal - Retaining Sobriety - Hello to all fellow Gamequitters, my name is Neil, and I am in my mid-thirties. I am from & currently live in Louisiana with my Mom & Dad who allowed me to move back in after I chose an honorable discharge from the US Air Force after 6 years of service. I did not have a problem making the promotion cycles and for that reason I believe I would have continued my Air Force career had I found sobriety and a little more confidence in myself before or even during active duty. To be clear I feel way more confident in myself now than before beginning sobriety, LEARN FROM THIS! ☺️ TRASH THOSE GAMES! Just because you don't feel addicted doesn't mean it won't develop into a life crippling dependency, it will. You can read my full personal introduction here that includes the events this last year leading up to my decision to quit video games for good. It would be great if my lifelong gaming addiction never was there to begin with but it was - and for that I am very grateful to be here to share a little bit of my sobriety as the days go by. I do not expect I will exclusively post with these template formats below but I find a bit of comfort in the structure they offer to help guide me. Comments to my journal entries are quite welcome let us simply be sure to follow the forum rules. This is just as much for maintaining my sobriety as it is to help & inspire the community as you have found your way here, enjoy!! My Daily Sobriety Journal Template is here .. My Gamequitter's "LTS" Journal Template is here .. Everyone is welcome to use ✌️ Respectfully, Neil, Ex-Gamer Addict, Gamequitters Member My Introduction, My Mission, Newcomer Help Goals, Affirmations, Habits, Gratitude, Web ReduxMy Nutritional Values no forum debates please direct message only!