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Ridingsplosh

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Everything posted by Ridingsplosh

  1. I haven’t been writing here in a while. I kept procrastinating and forgot. So, since I set myself some new goals to work on 2 weeks ago, I have been quite sporadic. I started off well at first and quickly fell off the wagon and lost consistency. With meditation, I only did it 3-4 times the past 2 weeks and reading was even less. I haven’t been going outside at all for the past week. I was gaming only temporary and didn’t notice it affecting my time but I stopped, because I noticed it was getting out of control after a certain point. I am still spending too much time on mindless browsing but I find it easier to discipline myself and some days are really good. It is getting quite boring and that makes it easier to stop now. Nofap is hard, and just peeking briefly at porn quickly leads me to relapsing I am starting to get more serious from now on, because there is less than a month until school starts
  2. For the past few days, the success was a bit mixed. One day was really good and the other was almost entirely wasted. Many times it is just listening to music and not doing anything useful. Other times I just look at information online or watching documentaries on youtube. In that sense, I now spend a lot more quality time than I used to in the past. Even my time on discord (which was a problem before) has now significantly reduced and i am a lot less active. Even if some of the activities on my PC are beneficial, I still consider this a form of procrastination to an extent. Evenings are a bit idle and i usually go to bed at 3am. It is quite late and i am not so happy with this. Last night, it was documentaries, music videos and a bit of entertaining youtube videos. Sometimes I watch gaming videos on youtube, and that can easily kill a few hours of my time. I usually practice piano for at least 4 hours a day, but aiming to increase to 6. I have written some habits and goals to do from now and in August. In addition to practicing piano, I want to read for 1 hour a day, progress in the codeacademy course, do some sketching or drawing (not sure how much and i don't have any specific goals. I will probably start with one sketch a day for at least 10 minutes at first), and also searching for a job( maybe 2-3 hours a day). Also I will take a walk every day for 30-60 minutes, and to 10 minutes of meditation( then probably gradually increase to 20). This plan looks hard enough and should be enough to occupy all my time. I want to stay away from my pc/phone, unless this is related to a goal i have written down. In that case I am only allowed to use the PC for job searching, programming and checking email once a day (school). I am not sure if it is a smart idea to moderate my internet time as in my case it usually leads to binging and staying later than I intended to. Well... that seems ambitious and I feel intimidated. I will look at this plan often.
  3. Well, I forgot to post here for a couple of days. I am now staying with my parents for this summer. I haven't got any urges to game. However, I spend some time watching gaming speedruns of single player games on YouTube each day. Nofap has been hard to do, but I am staying away from porn. I am still spending too much time on the internet, and kinda lost track. I have some plans to do over the summer and I will share them in the next post.
  4. I really like doing it on paper. I feel more focused and less distracted. At first it was a bit messy as I've been used to edit stuff out digitally. I will experiment doing my to-do list for a few weeks. It really helps me avoid distractions. I noticed I usually waste time on the computer immediately after planning digitally, as everything is so easily accessible. I haven't posted for a few days, because I was on a semi-holiday away from the city I live in. I haven't been too serious about quitting internet addiction and I usually spend about 3-4 hours in front of the computer, but still spent lots of time outside in the sun. I also just relapsed with porn the past 2 days. On the way back from the vacation, I wrote about 10 goals with pen and paper while I was in the train, and identified the most important goal of all(an exercise by Brian Tracy). This goal is finding a job related to my college course. The rest of the goals would take a few months to complete, and it's important to look at them and work consistently over the whole summer, so I don't end up binging with all the free time I have. I have been reading some parts from the Slight Edge and want to turn the goals I've already written into a plan and do one discipline each day that will move me forward.
  5. Well, I am having a tough time. It wasn't exactly a zero day doing nothing, but most of it was spent wasting time on the computer. I have also relapsed to porn last night, and my eating was far from what I've planned. I am doing my to-do list on paper instead of on the phone as usual, but I was sliding back to the computer procrastinating. I went to bed really late because the day before I slept a lot, and this morning I woke up at 12 noon. Now it will be harder to get back on track after this binging, but if I avoid turning on the computer when there is nothing to do, that would help me a lot.
  6. So I am back with a bit of a delay. Last week wasn't so good and fell back wasting time and procrastinating. Last 2 days I was gaming GTA 5, and didn't manage to play it in moderation. I didn't succeed with nofap either. I need to cut out all the triggers and stop spending time mindlessly on unplanned activities. I only have a few items in my list, and I need to figure out something to do with my free time. Still struggling with consistently doing reading and meditation. Usually the more I stay away from the computer the more successful I am.
  7. Last night didn't go well. I binged on some junk food, and then wasted about 4 hours infront of the computer screen. Eating bad food really affects my energy and probably my decision-making. I don't want to repeat the same mistake today, though I need to do some important stuff for school on the computer so that's unavoidable. Nevertheless I am clearly aware what to do as I have written everything down, and also want to shut the computer off 2 hours before bedtime. The whole day was really productive, and didn't waste any time on mindless activities on the screens. Using the school library seemed to help a lot. Only the evenings can be dangerous, and if I don't have any class or important meeting, the whole morning can be gone in an instant as well. The more I avoid screens, the better the chance I have in succeeding quitting this addiction. I have stocked up on quite healthy and unprocessed foods. My problem is overspending all my money buying ready food outside. I think it really messes up my budget, and the quality of food is bad as well.
  8. Another day passed by. Luckily, I was mostly in school so I couldn't get to access my computer. Regretting a bit that I spent about 1 hour in the morning. Hopefully I don't spend the entire evening doing mindless things on the computer. I do need it however to do a few very important tasks, and I will soon need it in order to search for a job. Hopefully the entire evening will be spent on the important tasks which I have already planned.
  9. yeah.. That's what I am trying to do. I am noticing though that the content I am consuming is at least of much higher quality. Now I just need to shift that time spent into some of my high-priority tasks and goals. A lot of my time each day is not spent on those kind of tasks and I will attempt to change it. I made a long list of goals and a to-do list on a paper. What is helping me the most is avoiding all time with screens, and I found out they are the trigger that lead me to binging. Avoiding starting my day with the laptop, and shutting everything down 2 hours before bed is quite helpful for me. In general, I have reduced my time on mindless surfing and now I am getting used to that. I think I will only allow myself about 30-60 minutes of mindless chat/surfing. I spent some significant time listening to music. It wasn't as a background activity but I was just focused on that. I don't think this is bad, but when I have important things to do it is not a great thing to spend hours on this.
  10. Well, I think that moment could be relaxing time. You can do better from now on. Don't think of it as a big thing... I do it too much. In the evening it was about 4 hours last night, and during the day also a bit of time and adds up to too much. Not all days are like this though. Don't say "too much" in front of me!!!! (Sorry... just kidding...) 84.7% of free time(about 8 hours) spent on Youtube!!! Yeah!! It's my record of 17th of May. I was much more lazier than you. I even relapsed once already. You're gonna be fine if you had learned from that experience. This is not me saying it. Cam said this. If you think that moment was a waste of time, then don't give in next time. Don't be stupid like me. Show everyone including the past-yourself that you're getting better. That day, I also thought the same way as you did, 'I do it too much'. And I got the similar response like I replied. After that day, I did my best to use my time more productively. It's not perfect but quite improved... Perhaps I should shut up, as I'm on day 3 of the second attempt, but I just wanted to share my experience. I think... we're not robots so we need some lazy moments from time to time... Ignore my reply if you don't like it But tell us that you're getting better tomorrow(and tomorrow, and tomorrow's tomorrow...) yup, I totally agree with you. I haven't been writing about the fact, that I actually improved and at least the time spent on the computer is of higher quality than it used to. A few months ago, I used to alternate between watching gaming streams porn and now that changed to a way more positive content. I am in the process of justifying which parts are actually wasted vs wisely invested. One example is self-help material or nutrition - I remember Cam had a video about this, saying you need to be creating too and not just consuming all this theory and information all the time. There is a great book which relates to internet addition called The Shallows, by Nicholas Carr. I only read small bits, but I realized how important it is to choose to read books, over short articles or videos about the subjects you are interested in. I tend to usually go for the easy way, and absorbing information in a very shallow way. I am thinking of probably reading that whole book, as it relates to my problem a lot. And even though many times I absorb positive information on the internet, a lot less time is spent on the high-priority goals and tasks on my already written list. I want to turn it the other way around : spend 80% of my time for the high-value tasks, and 20% on consumption. I want to favor reading a whole books more, than watching a documentaries/reading short articles, because from what I understood reading the book "The shallows", the benefits are far greater from reading a book and the understanding gets do a deeper level. Also might be worth looking into "Deep Work" by Cal Newport as it relates to the same issue. So yesterday was a bit easy-going as I decided to take a small break the whole day. I checked discord and youtube way too often, and I need to avoid that from now on as it's possibly the biggest trigger and usually gets out of control. I also want to go for long-stretches of time without using the computer at all as this will improve my focus and that in turn will get me far better results from what I am doing. Only use it with a specific purpose in mind like searching for a job and checking email once a day. This has turned rather into an internet addiction journal, but it's a problem that prevents me from achieving my goals and it's not easy to take control of it
  11. Well, I think that moment could be relaxing time. You can do better from now on. Don't think of it as a big thing... I do it too much. In the evening it was about 4 hours last night, and during the day also a bit of time and adds up to too much. Not all days are like this though.
  12. I am not feeling so good today. I couldn't wake up on time as last night I was listening to music a lot.. was hooked up on some classical stuff. Even though I woke up at around 11am, I still feel quite sleep deprived. It probably must be because of the hot weather in here. I have written down a daily schedule, and I have decided not to even turn on the computer at most blocks of time that don't require one. I realized that just using the computer without any planned purpose is eventually gonna lead me to either binge mindlessly, or just use it for low-priority tasks. Only about 3 hours per day will be used for searching for a job, and the rest I will have to turn it off. I am not sure I am capable to have fun in moderation. I keep checking discord multiple times of the day, and most times I don't see anything valuable there to do. Even if I block youtube and discord with ColdTurkey, I find alternative ways to google stuff that are not so relevant or important I am not sure how to define the the whole last night, because there is nothing wrong with listening to classical music or educational videos. The problem is that I am using those as a form of procrastination and not doing the important stuff I need to get done instead. I would prefer to start reading books instead of looping the same music videos over and over again. I feel quite sleep deprived at the moment and lacking in energy to do pretty much anything, even to prepare a meal. But I may have a significantly higher chance of succeeding if I completely shut off the computer, and only use it at the certain period of the day to look for a job. I also have a few spare hours for a hobby, and I will just use pen and paper to brainstorm what to do and come up with a few goals
  13. That's a lot of time spent meditating! No worries man. Hope LT-yu can come on this forum too, so his posts can be stickied or something like that and more people would be able to see. Anyways... yesterday was not bad. I spent some time on youtube, but it was for more engaging and intelligent purposes. Stuff related to diet and some politics which I was interested to know. However I think I should avoid those stuff, because I am doing it in a very scattered way and without purpose. It would probably be better to write down a list with the things I am planning to research on the internet before doing it, as I tend to be consuming too much information as a means of procrastination. The time I spent on discord yesterday was quite minimal, only to check what's going on. I am doing better job going longer periods without the internet. I had some cravings to watch gaming streams. I need to avoid some potential dangers of relapsing. Those are usually 5-10 minutes breaks throughout the day, which eventually become 30 minutes or more. I still need my laptop to search for a job, and I know that I can't just quit the internet altogether. However, I can certainly deny myself any access to my laptop most of my time. While I am doing my 4 hours of piano practice, I am not allowing myself any access to the laptop because I know that I can't control my time spent on it. I am also in the process of figuring out another 3 hours of my time to spend on an offline hobby, away from screens. I still went to bed too late - at 3 am, but I woke up a bit earlier so that the next day I will be able to fall asleep earlier more easily. Now I feel a bit sleep deprived, but as I adjust to earlier wake-up times, that will fix itself. I am aiming to do nofap (no PMO) seriously once again, as I notice I think more clearly and have better discipline if I go for longer stretches without that. My eating has been healthy too, though it is really hard for me to go longer streaks without consuming any junk food. I will look at my to-do list more often, and want to update it too with some goals! That way I will always have something to do. Also probably gonna change to doing it with pen and paper, instead of the laptop or phone. This will help to avoid binging on the internet
  14. OK.. yesterday went well this time. No time wasted on discord or youtube. In the evening I took a 2 hour nap, and even then I woke up too late the following morning. I didn't have the willpower to do anything else on that usually idle time and a nap was the thing I needed mostly. I figured out that the most time spent on the internet is usually in the evening, and less often in the morning. Also I am aiming to avoid the PC in the small breaks throughout the day. If I am practicing piano for 4 hours, I don't want to turn it on in that period of time, because it usually escalates for too long and it is distracting. The pomodoro breaks of 5 minutes, usually get extremely long when I use the PC. It is also now a lot easier to just shut off this time-wasting activity, as my discipline and willpower is improving. Finding that writing in this journal brings me a lot of clarity I didn't have so much in the past, and I am having a better success. I will continue writing daily, even if it's just one paragraph. I also did a bit of mindfulness meditation the past few days, and I want to continue with this habit This too, is great reminder from our savior discorder LT-yu : https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/246446489474170880/326574413061423105/ltyu_loop_breaking_vison_board_1.1a.PNG
  15. Rescuetime is quite useful. It turns out I spent 3-4 hours on discord each day the past few days after I had my detox. It is really hard to moderate it then. I was a bit deluded and thought I wasn't spending as much and was hard to figure out where my time is going. But rescuetime fixed all this confusion it seems the time adds up by doing small bouts of internet throughout the day in my small breaks: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/317317136727015424/326343500574621696/image.png Actually, just did the calculations, and I figured that if I cut out the browsing on the evenings, that's about 2 hours less per day. So really the small bouts of browsing during the day don't add up to too much and my biggest enemy is either the late evenings or early mornings. Though it is still hard to moderate, so I am thinking of going with blocking the sites once again. I messed up my sleeping schedule again, so I will feel quite deprived for the next 2-3 days while I am fixing it back to wake up earlier.
  16. Congratz on starting a new journal! Look forward to see your progress
  17. Yesterday I am not sure how my time went, but it wasn't spent on the things that matter but rather on stuff that or not needed. I ruined my sleeping schedule again - I went to bed at 3am and woke up at 11. I spent the last whole evening chatting in the stopgaming discord chat, as it was unusually active. The chat wasn't useless though. It was supportive to an extent and a lot more intelligent than posting memes or shitposting. I think it won't happen again from today. I haven't really spent any significant time on youtube. What used to be the problem in the past was viewing long gaming-related videos and streams. Now I never do those and it is only occasional diet-related informative videos or sometimes important news. Also music videos can be a waste of time, and I am trying to decide if I want to avoid those. I will monitor with RescueTime even if youtube and discord are blocked to see where my time is going, though I know clearly that yesterday's problem was mainly discord and I should consider to block it again as I can't seem to moderate it. It was only spent on the #stopgaming channel, which is a bit unusual. I didn't even had interest to chat so much in the past .. Kinda failed with nofap too, as I peek on porn too much and fap at least 2 times a week usually. I want to go for longer periods.
  18. So I spent almost no time on youtube and discord but I think I might be just substituting with low-value activities that are not too engaging and that I could be spending my time in much better ways. I am thinking carefully if listening to pop music is really beneficial at all. I think it is only an empty pleasure. Also reading on cooking blogs, or news and opinions on politics could also be considered a waste of time. Instead, a more beneficial alternative wold be swapping any passive activity with reading high-quality books, and introducing 1 or 2 hobbies that don't involve a computer. I think the offline hobbies are particularly important, as it would be helpful to avoid binging on the internet.
  19. I agree with you on that, bro. I just don't want to go back to my old habits. I just checked what's going on today on discord since I only set ColdTurkey to block for 5 days. Tbh, I think I am glad I didn't go there past couple of days. Nothing too much has changed in the chats and it took me about 10 minutes to read about the semi-useful stuff. LT-yu posted some of the self-improvement memes but I already had those saved on my pc from the past lmao. I would really rather work on myself than using the internet. Probably going to check in once in a while there on discord to tell how my progress has been. Going without those is getting easier now and just realizing how boring it is and I was merely wasting my time there for comfort.
  20. OK another day... I managed to wake up on time today - something I haven't done for the past 2 weeks lmao. I felt like a zombie in the morning but I was better within 2 hours after I woke up. I also meditated for 10 minutes the night before and read about 4 pages of a book (haven't been doing this habit for a long time). I was only semi-productive throughout the day, though better than other days. Feeling tired now. Eating hasn't been too good past 2 days, and gonna change that. I think I will allow myself a bit of access to youtube and discord very soon. I just don't aim to cut off everything and it feels weird. I am going to establish how much time I will spend weekly. It used to be about 20 hours on avarage according to RescueTime, and I aim to set it really low - maybe only allow 5 hours per week or less. That's 1 hours per day, 5 days a week. Not sure exactly what diet I want to stick to.. I don't know if I want to do low-carb high-fat omni, or high-carb low-fat vegan, or a balanced approac. Being vegan seems a lot cheaper, but I really miss the nice feeling of eating meat.
  21. Thanks for your input, bro. Yeah I guess it is probably normal to feel like this, as I've been addicted to internet for such a long time. I should take action no matter how I feel, even if I feel terrible. That's easier said than done but I need to learn how to shut off the emotional part of the brain and remember that my subconscious doesn't necessarily want me to change at first and I am the one responsible to make that happen. I will wake up tomorrow on time, even if I don't feel like it or even if I had a shitty or sleepless night. I will get accustomed to this eventually, just the first couple of nights would be difficult. On a side note, I think I am in danger with swapping my addiction to youtube and discord with other forms of procrastination and I should be aware of those. An example would be watching too much anime or listening to the same music while not doing anything productive. I certainly had an experience now and in the past, of spending a few hours of looking at too much cooking recipes and blogs. I am making a mental note to do those in moderation and would rather write down a few recipes and cook them myself. I think I remember reading an article on reddit, about keeping the consuming to producing ratio of a skill to only 1:5. Also, I will make an effort to not spend too much time on tasks/activities that are low value or priority. My mind may be rationalizing that this is OK as it is productive, but can still be considered a form of procrastination.
  22. Yes, I know how much I should be sleeping, just need the discipline to be consistent and I planned to do some stuff in the idle time. I just find everything boring if it's not the internet.. just thinking about reading or meditation makes me bored. Lol
  23. I didn't write last night as I was have some risks with friends. My experience without surfing the net is just a bit dreadful. I feel extremely bored all the time, and sometimes probably less productive as I lost motivation since quitting everything. I already have tasks to do, but I just can't get my mind to start easily and focus for extended periods. I also feel a lot lonelier as I miss the social aspect of discord and everything else. Yesterday, I didn't do much stuff but I was hung up on reading about nutrition - exploring a few different diets, as well as some other materials on lifestyle I've saved randomly. For some reason, reading about food and cooking is a bit addictive but not much useful a lot of the time. I am reading short articles and reading comments, instead of reading books written by doctors. Sleep is shit once again. I think I just don't care about waking up earlier as I don't have anything too urgent to work on. As I had some drinks with friends last night, I went to bed at 4am and woke up at about 10. I will try to change this.
  24. Awesome man! You got this. Impressive streak. I can relate to the introvert part.
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