Schwing

Date: Tue 1/12/2016 Journal day: 20 Detox day: 25 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 0 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysDon't wankYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 07:30 Went to bed at: 21:40 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up lateHappy at schoolCouldn't focus when studying because I felt like jerking it so I did. Even though I haven't talked to any girls.I was able to focus after thoughStill didn't talk to any girlsTasks and Achievements: Finished my project5 german wordsAte loads. I have gotten accustomed to eating more.100 pushups.What I am grateful for: MetalFoodWhat I have learnt from today: I don't want to wank anymore if I can help it. I don't think instant gratification is healthy.About tomorrow: Get up earlyDon't wankTalk to some girlsFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsWorkNotes:

Date: Tue 30/11/2016 Journal day: 19 Detox day: 24 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 6 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysYou cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that dayYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 07:00 Went to bed at: 22:10 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up a bit earlierI felt quite happy at school today. I was able to keep to myself a lot but enjoy conversation with other people.I was also quite witty and a lot less insecure.So I was getting changed and the guy next to me flipped out at my muscles because everyone thinks I'm a loser. Felt good.Didn't really talk to any girls againTasks and Achievements: Read some of the Silmarillion5 german wordsAte a lot100 pushups.Ran 7 milesComputing testWhat I am grateful for: MetalFoodJRR TolkienWhat I have learnt from today: I am starting to see the results of my effortsI know myself as a person now. But I have a lot of work to do.About tomorrow: Get up earlyTalk to some girlsFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsNotes:

Keep it going. You have a long journey ahead of you. You can do it!

Date: Tue 29/11/2016 Journal day: 18 Detox day: 23 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 5 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysYou cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that dayYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 07:20 Went to bed at: 22:00 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up quite lateFelt shitty just like yesterdayDidn't talk to any girlsCame home and played some music and I felt much happier. But I still have the same perspective.Found some awesome new bandsTasks and Achievements: Got some ideas down for my book5 german wordsAte a lot100 pushups.Got some work done for my project done in a really short space of timeWhat I am grateful for: MetalFoodBeing in such a bad way because I know I will come out of this strongerThisWhat I have learnt from today: I work more efficiently and effectively under stress- or coffee Ever since i quit videogames and started this whole self development spiel I have hit an all time low with my depressionWhat goes up must come down. And what goes down must come up.About tomorrow: Get up earlyTalk to some girlsFocus when studyingRunningStay consistent with your goalsNotes:

As always, thank you for the amazing support guys. I have actually started climbing and I'm going to a competition this weekend. But I do fancy starting running and gym but I lack the confidence to get out there and do it. Attitude: Stop hating myself and just about everyone around me Appearance: I want to be bigger- or just not skinny. Skills: I want to improve my artistic skills

Date: Mon 28/11/2016 Journal day: 17 Detox day: 22 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 4 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysYou cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that dayYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 06:30 Went to bed at: 22:00 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up very early and easily.Didn't stuff myself todayI couldn't help it but hate myself all day at school today. Sometimes I just get so obsessed and bitter about how much of a loser I am and get really jealous of everyone around me.I was all alone in a room studying with this girl for a bit. I could have said something but I didn't.I just felt like being alone and studying today.Tasks and Achievements: Drums. I have been playing almost a year now and looking back I have improved massively. I just can't wait to start playing bass.100 pushups.Art. I should try out watercolour already.What I am grateful for: MetalFoodThis site and everyone on itFuneral DinerWhat I have learnt from today: My daily routines I have laid out cure my boredom and make me more productive but so far I haven't seen any changes to my depressionMy self esteem is still a huge barrier for meI find myself often trying to convince myself I don't care about anyone or anything to justify my antisocial behaviour when really I have just too little confidence. It really eats away at me.About tomorrow: Get up earlyTalk to some girlsFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsNotes:

You couldn't be more right

Date: Sun 27/11/2016 Journal day: 16 Detox day: 21 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 3 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysYou cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that dayYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 13:00 Went to bed at: 22:45 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up way too late i tried to get up at 7:30 but i just couldn't get my arse out of bedForgot german wordsTried to do some studying but I just lost focus and daydreamedI was quite depressed for a large portion of today. I just sat at my computer desk listening to music and didn't do much productive stuffMy friend has dumped his slutty girlfriendTasks and Achievements: 100 pushups.Ate loads.Art. I should try out watercolour already.What I am grateful for: MetalFoodWhat I have learnt from today: I need to start structuring my life asapAbout tomorrow: Get up earlyTalk to some girlsFocus when studyingRunningStay consistent with your goalsNotes:

Still waiting for a new video

I was too tired to do journal yesterday so here's a few things: Got up really late at 12. I just couldn't get my arse out of bed. Did my 100 pushups and some homework but I goofed off for most of it. Talked to my friend again it sucks we only know each other over the internet because he is the only true friend I have. Forgot german words again. Ate a lot of food.

Date: Fri 26/11/2016 Journal day: 14 Detox day: 20 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 1 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysYou cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that dayYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessWoke up at: 07:30 Went to bed at: 00:50 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up lateForgot german wordsMaybe I should start working outSo this one kid said people think I'm gay at school? He was probably taking the piss but I am pretty feminine in a lot of ways. Hahahaha I couldn't even imagine being gay. Who even cares anyway.I was depressed before i went to work. Went down at last minute. Came out EXTREMELY satisfied as always.Tasks and Achievements: 100 pushups.Ate loads. I eat the leftovers off the plates at work a lot.I got my project to work finally. I'm on the home straight now.Went to workWhat I am grateful for: MetalFoodWhat I have learnt from today: I realise if you put effort and positivity into your life you will get something out alwaysI should focus on the task rather than the reward. I shouldn't beat myself up over being a loser and not good enough for girls. Girls aren't my biggest problem right now. Being a loser is my problem and if I work on it I will get something out of it (maybe girls). Keep your head in the game.About tomorrow: Get up earlyGet homework doneStay consistent with your goalsNotes:

I'll see for myself then. I have heard a lot of bad things but nothing beats first hand experience.

+Robin You are a fucking legend thanks a bunch mate.

Date: Thur 24/11/2016 Journal day: 12 Detox day: 18 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 2 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysYou cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that dayYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessWoke up at: 07:30 bad night's sleep Went to bed at: 23:00 Thoughts and Feelings: Woke up and did some singing and drummingI wasn't really depressed at school. I was chatty but just very laid back and reclusive. I am very comfortable this waySkipped lunch because I had to do homework very hungryStayed back at school till 6 to do project workI talked to some girls but they didn't talk back Ate loads when I got homeGot depressed and self hatey when I got back. Fixed it with some screamo. Clears my mind.Tasks and Achievements: SingingDrumming5 German words- I want to travel over europe. I guess brexit isn't so convenient for me! I just hope germany isn't full of bloody refugees when I get there.100 pushups.Ate loadsCoding- finished that shit finallyLots of project work- i am designing a drum pedal and making a jeweller's vice.What I am grateful for: MetalScreamoWhat I have learnt from today: I need to keep on top of my studying at home- i should make a diary or a notice boardNot having proper work ethic in mind when entering a task like studying is a main cause of my depressionThere are some local courses in climbing I can sign up for. Would be a great opportunity.Started being negative in the same way this kid is being to be as an experiment and he started backing down. Hahahaha. People are fucking retards sometimes.About tomorrow: Get up earlyDo what you need to do according to your plan for projectStay consistent with your goalsTalk to some more girlsSMILE YOU FUCK!I need to keep on top of paperwork- 1 hour a weekday- 2 hours weekend daysNotes:

Subbed. Most helpful 1 minute videos I have ever seen.

Hahahaha yes metal is life.

Good job everyone. It's great to learn things from your experience too.

Thank you everyone for giving a shit as per usual. I can't stress how much this support means to me.

It's great because I don't have much time to get out and do something physically demanding every day.

Date: Wed 23/11/2016 Journal day: 12 Detox day: 18 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 2 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysYou cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that dayYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Woke up at: 07:30 bad night's sleep Went to bed at: 22:30 Thoughts and Feelings: I wasn't depressed even though I got up lateI like talking to other people in a friendly way but not all the time.One of my "friends" has started acting all hard. He's getting on my nerves. He's useless to me anyway.I like being alone a lotI just want to do my own thingI didn't do the 1 hour i allotted to my project paperwork again because i was extremely depressedSnapped out of it later onTried making myself look happier and failedTasks and Achievements: 50 pushups.Ate loadsCodingRunningWhat I am grateful for: MetalWhat I have learnt from today: My self esteem is too low to make proper friends. It's my problem.I don't see myself getting a girlfriend at all for a very long timeI am a loner and that doesn't matter. Or does it?About tomorrow: Get up earlyDo what you need to do according to your plan for project- big dayStay consistent with your goalsTalk to some more girlsSMILE YOU FUCK!Notes:

So I got up to a lot yesterday. I did some running then I went climbing. I'm really improving at climbing. And then when I got back I did singing.

I think it is fine. The only reason I jerk it is because I'm bored. It's a great way to release sexual tension especially considering I don't have a girl. Ok, then if it's fine I'll ask you the most simple question: How will you feel if you'll have a sexual partner and she'll need to masturbate even if she have had sex with you? Will it still be "fine" for you? Think about it. I wouldn't care in the slightest unless it negatively affected our relationship.

Didn't make a journal entry yesterday because I came back with a headache and went to bed early.

How do I find true friends? The "friends" I have now are just people I hang out with. We don't look out for each other and we don't share any passions.

Noice Noicer Date: Mon 21/11/2016 Journal day: 10 Detox day: 16 Days since I last wanked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 0 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysYou cant wank if you haven't talked to any girls that dayYou matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Woke up at: 07:30 LATE Went to bed at: 22:30 Thoughts and Feelings: My alarm didn't go off :(. Couldn't get myself out of bed.Was very depressed in morning. I should always get up early.Talked to quite a few girls.I don't care about people being negative towards me.Talked to my danish friend again. He is being fucked over by his slutty girlfriend.I didn't do the 1 hour i allotted to my project paperwork. I was daydreaming and goofing off through most of it. Sometimes I find it hard to focus.Tried making myself look happier. Nobody noticed but it feels good.Didn't nail that lesson but I had the whole of my group backing me up and we failed together which was ok. We had a good laugh at the end.Tasks and Achievements: 100 pushups.5 german words. 10 new words since yesterday.Stuck to plan for projectFinished maths homeworkPractised hand speed for drummingI've been eating a lot more recentlyCodingRan 4 milesWhat I am grateful for: Fucking metalMy mighty Scandinavian brotherWhat I have learnt from today: I can take responsibility in a situation but I lack charismaSense of purpose is crucialDon't be an egoistic prick. You know what it does. Use your ego for positive things rather than picking at others.My friends are all fake. I share nothing in common with any of them now I quit games.About tomorrow: Get up earlyDo what you need to do according to your plan for projectStay consistent with your goalsTalk to some more girlsSMILE YOU FUCK!Go all out in climbing. don't be disheartened if everyone is better than you. Try and join in more regardless.Notes: