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James Good

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Everything posted by James Good

  1. Day 32 >Game-free: 32 days >Gaming videos: 0 days Journal I'm not even sure what to say about yesterday. It started off so well and ended so disastrously. Seriously, it's ridiculous. I woke up early and completed every one of my important tasks for the day, as well as half of my secondary tasks, before 1pm. My girlfriend had gone home to visit her mom, and she won't be back until later today (this is relevant to the story). Then, for some reason, it was as though I had to indulge in everything I knew I shouldn't. I couldn't control myself. I didn't have any meat defrosted so I had the greasiest, fattest burger imaginable. I watched some disgusting porn. I watched gaming videos on YouTube and Twitch for the rest of the day. I went to the local 7/11 to get some food for dinner - pork + garlic spaghetti and a minced pork steamed bun - but also ordered a ridiculously oversized whipped cream, caramel, and banana roti. It was so much sugar and fat on top of me already being full I had no choice but to make myself throw up after eating it. Then, I went on to watch gaming videos and have a half-hearted attempt at the remainder of my tasks and passed out at around 01:30am. What in the world... The only things I can think of as to why it happened was due to me allowed more leniency over time starting with going back to social media, then Reddit, then disabling the browser blocking tool, then going into a gaming subreddit to check on how my favourite streamer is doing. This has been happening over the last few days, and I guess combining this with the change in direction in my job (leaving Game Quitters and pursuing freelance work), increased pressure, and because I was more tired from waking up earlier, it caused me to escape into these things. If someone has any insight into why this happened I'm all ears. I woke up today feeling great. I'm currently continuing the gaming videos I was watching yesterday while drinking my coffee, but I've got no intention of binging it all day. Once my journal is done, I've had my coffee, I've set up my day and got everything ready, I'm going to commit to getting all my work done. It's also a terrible reason but it's a lot easier for me to avoid gaming videos when my girlfriend is home. But this is something I'm trying to work on - the feeling of embarrassment or shame not propagating itself into my life when someone isn't holding me accountable. I guess the only downside is that it's making me crave Minecraft, and I almost messaged my cousin asking if he wanted to start up a modded world. This is something I'd genuinely love to do, and would really enjoy. That's not even the addict brain talking. But I know that not only would I be letting myself down, and my girlfriend down, the resulting impact it would have on my life and mood just wouldn't be worth it. I'm in the most crucial period of my life from a business standpoint, which is why the cravings are coming up, and so I know I can't let it back into myself. I'm reminding myself of how sure I was that I could moderate in the past, and how quickly it turned on its head. Here's yesterdays video (made before everything went to shit) about how Thailand is handling the coronavirus: Thanks for reading!
  2. Day 31 >Game-free: 31 days >Gaming videos: 31 days Journal Getting back on the morning journal again. Also shifting my wake-up time back a while (6:45am from 8am). I've got a lot of work I need to do, and I need that uninterrupted quiet time in the morning to get this done. In the short term my work hours are going up a lot, but I know from experience it's not sustainable long term. Today I'm going to be reaching out to some people, getting started on my website, plan out my content, do a whole load of organization work, work on my social media, and go through some courses I've been doing. It's a pretty packed day, but my GF is going to be away most of the day if not until tomorrow, so I'm going to dial in and get as much done as I can. No time for cravings here.
  3. Day 30 >Game-free: 30 days >Gaming videos: 30 days Journal Taking a break from work to write this journal, as I didn't have time to do it this morning. Well, I say I didn't have time. I just didn't feel like it. I guess I'll start with the big news: After this month (in 3 days time) I'll no longer be working with Game Quitters. I mentioned in some videos and posts that I'm taking a different direction with my work and focusing on freelancing, and after a discussion with Cam we came to the decision that it's best for us to part ways. This also means there won't be any more podcast episodes after these current ones have been scheduled (2 more weeks of episodes). I'll still be around on the forums, so that won't change. However, I'll no longer be doing any writing, videos, marketing stuff, social media and so on. What am I doing instead? I'm going all in on myself. I think I'm at a necessary stage in my journey, where I'm ready to move on and take my path into my own hands. I want to create my own businesses, and really earn my income. It's going to be incredibly difficult, sure, but I don't think I can get to where I want to be in the future if I continue trying to work for a company. I've got big goals. I'm going to be focusing my business on search engine optimization (SEO), writing, and maybe podcast related services such as audio editing. As well as providing consultations in each of these areas and maybe even personal coaching on the side. So, if you have a business or know anyone with a business that could benefit, let me know! 😉 My first step is to replace my income. My current monthly earnings are $0, so that needs to go up. I have enough of a savings buffer that I can last 2 months fairly easily, which will be ample time to get things going. I'll keep you all up to date with the ins and outs of it here and on my YouTube channel, so don't forget to subscribe if you're interested in learning more about mindset, online business, freelancing, money and travel! Peace.
  4. Day 29 >Game-free: 29 days >Gaming videos: 29 days Journal Not going well from a social media/meditation standpoint. Well, it is and it isn't. On the one hand, it sucks that I'm not following through with it, but on the other, as far as I can tell it's having next to no actual effect on my productivity, my work, my habits, sleep or anything else. The only negative is that I'm missing out on the positive. I think I might be trying to take on too much at once, with the gaming detox and no videos on top of social media and other daily habits it's just too much pressure to keep on top of it all. I'm taking off the tracker for them, and I'm just going to focus on the gaming detox for now, and if I feel like meditating I will. If I spent 30 minutes a day on social media then so be it, that's better than 3 hours. I just have to make sure it doesn't get out of control. That being said, the gaming detox is actually going really well. I'm in that midpoint section where the cravings disappear and you take more time and effort in doing hobbies, as limited as it is right now with the quarantine. But yeah, I'm really happy with the progress I've made. Peace!
  5. @Erik2.0 Thanks, me too! And yeah there are some moments like that in the series, but it's more about the twists that are going on and constantly evolving throughout the series that make it interesting. Was worth watching and got pretty tense at the end of the second season!
  6. Day 28 >Game-free: 28 days >Gaming videos: 28 days >Social Media: 0 days >Meditation: 0 days Journal Yesterday was an amazing day from a productivity perspective. I basically made use of two things: Deep Work and Focus Batching - which is something I just made up yesterday but I like the name of it. If you want to learn more watch the video I did, which sums pretty much everything up: In terms of everything else that's going on, not sure what to say really. My mornings have deteriorated somewhat, although I'm still maintaining a few of my typical habits. The problem is that I don't want to start work straight away, I need a little 'warm up' time, and that's usually filled by meditation and journalling. However, it's becoming a habit to check coronavirus stuff, which just leads to more Reddit and Twitter use. I guess the only silver lining is that I'm not wasting my entire day on them, I'm finding it easier to stop when I want to instead of just going through them for hours on end. It's 9:45am at the moment, and I like to start work at 10am, so I guess it's not all too bad, and maybe it's not having an effect at all. I do know that I'd rather not spend so much time on them, especially in the morning, but its almost become habitual to the point where I feel like I can't avoid it. I'm not going to use any social media for the rest of the day, and I'll try to do an update post later on to see how I get on. One thing I definitely need to do is stop watching this zombie Netflix show - Kingdom - before bed, as it keeps me alert. In the past I was reading my book as the last thing before bed, but now I tend to read my book and then watch the show with my girlfriend. My poor morning routine is probably a direct result of my poor bedtime routine, so maybe I should focus on fixing that. All in all, though, things are going really well outside of the problems I mentioned here. My mental and physical health are in a good place, I'm feeling positive, I'm spending a lot of time learning things and while I wish I wasn't in self-isolation, things could be going a lot worse. Hope you're all doing well! Peace.
  7. @Captain_Pilz Oh wow, thank you! That means a lot. I'm glad it helped We really take for granted those things that gave us structure, don't we? And yeah, I expected myself to be a lot better off than I am at the moment after 5 years of quitting gaming, but I'm not, so we just have to keep going until we're where we want to be! Stay strong.
  8. Day 27 >Game-free: 27 days >Gaming videos: 27 days >Social Media: 0 days >Meditation: 0 days Journal Even doing this journal feels like a chore this morning. It's crucial that I sort this out before it gets worse. My habits, my feelings, my routine, my diet, everything. They're just going to get worse and worse unless I fix it. Got a big work day today and I need to dial in my focus to get it all done. If I do get it all done it'll be great. I'll have accomplished so much and had one of the most productive days in a while. Had my green tea, doing my journal, taken some focus pills (Gorilla Mind Rush), and I'm ready to get cracking. I'm not even concerned with showering or exercising this morning. I can do it later. For now I need to ride this wave of productivity that I can feel building up as I'm writing this for as long as possible. One of my friends e-mailed me back and it genuinely made my day. It feels like a much richer connection than sending a message on social media. On top of that they're also someone who I look up to a lot from a business perspective, and he suggested we get on a call to talk about what I'm up to and what my plans are. I can't wait! Go message some people you haven't spoken to in a while, you never know what'll happen. In terms of my own work, I'm currently in the market research phase. Asking clients what they look for in freelancers, what their problems are and so on. Asking my competitors some questions too. I'm not selling anything just yet, but this is a phase I've neglected in the past but am now putting the most effort into. It's a great opportunity for me to build some more connections, see what works and what doesn't, figure out my angle of attack, and really make my work as impactful as possible. From a purely work/mentality standpoint I feel fantastic at the moment. I'm refreshed, excited, and eager to get started. My problem right now is the personal/physical stuff. My diet, sleep, routines and so on. Can't maintain this so that's what I'm going to be focusing on in the coming weeks! Also, I made a video yesterday talking about what I'm doing now that my social media detox is over, and it's probably one of the most value-filled videos I've created so far. If not the most. Give it a watch, a like, or anything else - I really do appreciate any support! Thanks for reading!
  9. Day 26 >Game-free: 26 days >Gaming videos: 26 days >Social Media: 0 days >Meditation: 1 day Journal Social Media Welp, there goes my streak. I was going to be lenient on myself and not count it, but one of the first things I did after waking up was scroll through Reddit/Twitter. My routine went out the window due to me being tired and not bothering to workout. I didn't meditate, but at least now I have my day planned, I'm sipping my green tea, and I'm doing my journal. Some normality has returned I suppose. I didn't spent hours on social media, which is something I guess. I think in total I spent around 10-15 minutes, split between the two platforms. What started as me visiting the sites once a week or so to check messages, soon became me checking Twitter Explore + Reddit to get Coronavirus updates, and this inevitably led to me breaking the streak. Ugh. The problem is, like gaming, I wish that they could be a balanced part of my life. I just don't know when, or if, I'll actually get to that point. Gotta keep going I guess. Sleep Thought I slept well last night, or at least similarly to the night before, yet I woke up feeling exhausted. I wonder how much of an impact my diet had on it. The days before I woke up feeling great had been healthier, but yesterday I snacked on some sweet treats + Rtiz crackers. My girlfriend brought them home after doing a grocery run, and I got a bit pissed off. She knows I'm 'on a diet' and I'm not eating sweet things. But right now I'm trying so hard to avoid gaming, social media, and whatever else that resisting two of my favourite snacks is almost impossible. I told her not to bring shit like that back again or else I'm just going to throw them in the bin. Probably going to be a short post today, not a huge amount to talk about. Just keeping on keeping on. Peace.
  10. Sexual energy is what propels men to greatness. It's what made men move mountains, build skyscrapers, and create incredible works of art. Men without sex drive are generally lacking in testosterone, and testosterone is the life blood of a man. It keeps you motivated, driven, energetic, and always hungry for more. Gaming + porn addicts are severely lacking T. I love this attitude. I think you've got two options: Find a woman Create Considering the first option is unlikely given the current situation, I'd recommend funnelling all of that energy into something epic. It doesn't matter what. Just create something. Art, a business, anything. You might be tired and that's fine, the energy comes and goes. Michelangelo was described as a slob. Da Vinci went days or weeks without creating any art, and then all of a sudden he'd retreat to his studio and create the freaking Mona Lisa. He probably thought it looked like shit at the time, but he didn't let the energy go to waste. I know it's not going to apply to your situation completely, and there's obviously hurdles such as working and exercise and all of that stuff. But this is one of my favourite posts from you and I think the progress you've made recently, even if you might not think it, has been awesome. Keep it up.
  11. Day 25 >Game-free: 25 days >Gaming videos: 25 days >Social Media: 12 days >Meditation: 1 day Journal Meditation I meditated today! I did 10 minutes and it was a mess (I've forgotten how difficult it is when you're just starting off) but I'm glad I got it done. Peace of mind, self-reflection, clarity, focus. All of those things are needed right now (and forever I guess). I wish it was quieter while I was doing it, there's a ton of construction work going on in the hotel and bird calls happening outside, but I suppose that's the whole point. It was certainly a challenge to stay focused anyway. Also, I just realised this is the first day I'm starting my journal at pretty much 9:40am which is exactly the time listed in my ideal schedule. Admittedly things are a little different because I'm not going to the gym or eating breakfast but yeah. Feels good. Sleep I slept like a baby last night, and I think that's playing a big part in why my mood is so good this morning. I woke up a couple of times to go to the toilet, but apart from that it was great. I woke up refreshed, energized, and ready to go. Didn't really change much, so I'm not too sure what caused it. Gym I realised that the crate I get delivered to my room full of water (20x1L bottles) is great for rudimentary exercises. My workout this morning was: Pushups to failure *pick up the box* Bent-over rows Squats Lunges "Bench" press *puts down box* Jumping jacks Plank Then repeat 3 times without a break. I was sweating like a nun in a cucumber patch after it was done but it felt great. I haven't done any circuit/HIIT style training at home, mostly due to having absolutely no equipment. I was limited to just pushups, dips, and ab work, which is way to chest/shoulder/tricep heavy. But at least now I can get some back work in. Feels good. Coffee Another change I made this morning is to forego the coffee and replace it with green tea. It's so easy to get high-quality green tea here, and I'm using some my girlfriend brought back from China a couple months back. I think I'd rather drink tea than coffee, and I really love the zen culture around certain types of tea. I could see myself making that a part of my day in the future. I've done coffee detoxes before and I always feel a lot better afterwards, so while this isn't strictly a coffee detox I'm going to see how it goes. YouTube I released a video yesterday about my photography journey, and if anyone's interested in taking it up there's some great tips in there for you, especially during quarantine where you can do so much with just your smartphone! Video:
  12. @Amphibian220 Yeah I have to listen to something with as little (what's the word?) jankiness? ups and downs? surprises? I don't know. Basically if it keeps changing a lot and there's vocals or instruments, it's so hard for me to concentrate. The only exception is if I listen to a single song for the entirety of my work session. That seems to go pretty well. It also messes up my Spotify recommendations haha. It's difficult for me to slow down too much, I have to make money next month, but I'm not going into it at 100mph and overwhelming myself. I'm being smart about separating my current work with my future plans and so far it's working out well.
  13. Yo! Great to see you back on the forums. It's good that you've caught it now. I was in the exact same position as you a few years ago. Spent the last 8 months of my degree playing video games. I extended all my deadlines and my thesis as much as I could because I was just too depressed or didn't care enough to do them. I lost my girlfriend, I failed out of uni 95% of the way to the end, and I still kept gaming. I'm 5-6 years into the gaming addiction journey and I've only just started a new detox (3 weeks ago) that I'm pretty sure is going to be my last. You're strong mate, you've got this. (also don't get me started on D&D I miss it so much lol)
  14. We'll have a new article out in the coming weeks, but this is all we've got so far: https://gamequitters.com/how-many-people-are-addicted-to-playing-video-games/ We also have these statistics based on a large study we ran a few years back:
  15. Day 24 >Game-free: 24 days >Gaming videos: 24 days >Social Media: 11 days >Meditation: 0 days Journal Girlfriend got back from the wedding ceremony at around 00:40 last night. I stayed up until around 00:15 waiting for her but gave up and basically passed out. When she came back she thought it was a great idea to turn all the lights on and go for a shower (Thai people are pretty insistent on showering 2x a day) and so my sleep was basically fucked. I couldn't seem to fall asleep again for the rest of the night. I'm sure I did, but it was mostly just dozing in and out. I'm not blaming her for it, but waking up this morning was really tough. Didn't get out of bed until maybe 9:30am, and really couldn't be bothered to meditate. Which is a bad excuse, I know. But I'm so damn tired, and it just killed my motivation to do anything. Instead of journaling while having my coffee just watched some YouTube videos. I found myself wanting to just check on Twitter, Reddit, Facebook and everything else. I actually did go on Reddit to check the coronavirus sub but that was a mistake. What a shit storm social media is right now. Need to avoid it completely, as even a few minutes is enough to make me hate it. So yeah, no meditation this morning. Maybe I'll do it later in the day. I finally finished The Last Kingdom series of books - 12 in total. They follow a fictional character, Uhtred, who finds himself caught up in the forging of England by Alfred the Great and his heirs. It's pretty much all historically accurate, although he starts making up a lot more stuff as the books go on. Most of the battles are real battles that you read about online, and it's offered an incredible insight into the history of England. We don't get taught it in schools, and to think that we were so damn close to becoming ruled by Danes is fascinating. Seriously, it was so close you wouldn't imagine. Anyway, I started reading 2 more books yesterday. I'm re-reading The Checklist Manifesto and I've started Shantaram. Shantaram is a beast of a novel, tracking the mostly true story of a heroin addict turned prison escapee turned smuggler in India (and a lot more). I'm only a few dozen pages in so far but the writing is incredible. It's so vivid and easy to read, I really feel like I'm walking the streets of Bombay with him. I can't wait to read more, although it's going to take a long time to finish, but it has been on my list for a while. I'll attach my full reading list if anyone's interested: One of the annoying things about coronavirus is that I was supposed to have a bunch of podcasting gear arrive last week, so that I can make some big improvements to my studio and subsequently my podcast quality. Its put a hold on the start of Life After Gaming, but oh well. Not much I can do about it except delay a little bit. In the grand scheme of things it's not a huge concern. I sent some emails out yesterday to people I was in contact with on social media, whom I longer keep in contact with (due to me quitting social media). It felt nice just to reach out and see how they're doing, just for the sake of asking. Something I've neglected in the past, especially when I used social media, was building up relationships and creating a network of like-minded business-oriented folks. So, I thought by keeping in touch with them via email it'll go a long way to maintaining and improving the friendships I had in the past, and potentially lead to exciting opportunities in the future. Peace.
  16. Been through the survey. Seems safe, private, and you can omit personal information if anyone in the community is concerned about that aspect. A word of caution: Just be aware that a lot of the survey requires you to think about your feelings surrounding video game use and what happens when you imagine yourself playing it. If you think this is something that could easily trigger you into having urges, cravings, or even relapsing it's best to avoid the survey altogether. Hope you get some valuable data.
  17. Some of my favourite books that I've read: Cal Newport - Deep Work, Digital Minimalism James Clear - Atomic Habits Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - Flow Tommy Baker - The 1% Rule Atul Gawande - Checklist Manifesto Ed Catmull, Amy Wallace - Creativity, Inc. There are so many other books but these stood out for me personally. Hope it helps!
  18. Day 23 >Game-free: 23 days >Gaming videos: 23 days >Social Media: 10 days Journal Yesterday was a great day. It really was. I didn't actually get that much done, but I finished reading my book (rich20something) and it opened my mind as to what I'm doing and why I'm here in Thailand. I'd lost that spark that I had in the beginning, lost sight of what I want out of my life, and most importantly lost track of the path to get me there. So often we plan how things go, or how we want them to go, but when life takes us on a different path we get so caught up in the excitement of the moment that we never stop to think whether or not this is the right path for us to take. I know what I need to do over the next year as my work with Game Quitters inevitably slows down (you'll probably hear more about that soon). I'm looking forward to the future again, after so many months of struggling to see past the end of the day, to see past my regrets and failure, that I've forgotten what it feels like to be back in this place. One of the biggest realizations I had was that I don't need to take this like a sprint. I'm only 24, 25 in a few months, and by the time I leave Thailand next year (probably not permanently, I'll likely be back), I'll still be 25. That's a whole year from now. I need to focus on the foundations, focus on building my skills and making money and building myself up from the base. In the past I tried to learn things way too quickly, and cause myself to collapse back into gaming + streams due to the overwhelming pressure I place on myself. I can't keep doing that. I've done it for years and it clearly hasn't gotten me anymore. I tried to fail fast and fail often, but that's not much use if you just keep failing. I've written down my plans, my reasons why, my goals, and more. The constant urge to go back to being a streamer isn't even taking up a fraction of my brain right now, I forgot that just a few days ago that's all I wanted to do. Gaming is an afterthought, although as I progress in this endeavor the cravings will undoubtedly come back, but I'll deal with them when it happens. This is the turning point that I've needed for so long. My only concern at the moment is my relationship. I worry that it'll be too difficult to commit enough time to everything I want to do. However, that could just be because we're having to spend a lot of time together right now. Once she gets her nail business up and running next month, and is spending the majority of the day out of the house then I think it'll be a lot better. I like my privacy, and it's next to impossible to get the same level of work done when we're both stuck inside the flat all day. Anyway, I'm not going to complain about having a girlfriend that thinks the world for me. Who cooks, cleans, and looks after everything I hate doing. I'm so grateful to have her in my life, so I think right now I need to dispel the doubts I have and remind myself why things are so great with her in the first place. Finally, I want to start a daily meditation habit, maybe just 10 minutes in the morning. So I'm going to be tracking it on the journal from tomorrow, which I thought would give me a good way to remind myself to do it. Writing my journal is a pretty consistent part of my morning, so if I make sure I meditate for 10 minutes before I start writing, I can tick it off in the journal for that day. Peace.
  19. Welcome to the forums! Congrats on quitting gaming, and not everyone has to be addicted to want to stop, you just need a good reason to do it. And exploring new hobbies is a great reason. I'd recommend starting a journal in the forums and interacting with a few other people here. More than likely you'll find the new hobbies difficult and boring to start, but talking about your feelings and struggles will go a long way to helping out. Best of luck! Don't hesitate to reach out if you need some help.
  20. Day 22 >Game-free: 22 days >Gaming videos: 22 days >Social Media: 9 days Journal Been so close to going back and watching some gaming streams. The cravings for that are stronger than anything else. If the guy I used to watch, Northernlion, only did the streams he used to and didn't even bother with YouTube then it'd be fine. But now, he's streaming genuinely funny content 5 or 6 days a week and uploading equally funny videos 4 or 5 times a day on YouTube. I watched him dozens of hours a week for years of my life, it's so difficult to escape it. It isn't a great substitute but I decided to watch a TV series on Netflix in the background while I did my work. I'm just trying to remind myself of what will happen if I go down that path. All the work I'm doing to overcome these urges will have been for nothing, and I'll have to restart from square one again. I know I shouldn't have anything on in the background, but I'd overworked the day before and the work I was doing wasn't overly creative, more like prolonged busy work. Editing podcasts, planning stuff, research and so on. So I think in that situation it's not as bad as having Netflix on compared to me trying to do 3 hours of deep work and writing a few thousand words while watching a show. In other news, I think I've come up with some pretty good ideas as what I'm going to do with my YouTube channel after this 90 videos in 90 days thing is over. Something I can dedicate more of my creative energy to, and actually put some time and care into each episode as opposed to the hastily pulled together smartphone-only episodes I'm doing now. I'm also considering some other options for work on the side, more along the lines of what I know will bring me more enjoyment. The stress and anxiety over the months has got to stop, and I think this is a crucial step towards reaching that point. My biggest problem right now, besides the cravings, is the gym being closed. Home workouts don't cut it, and I've been forced to fill up my crate of water to do certain exercises and bench press my girlfriend. She's around 46kg so it's a good weight to do it with. I've started intermittent fasting until lunchtime, as my activity levels are severely reduced, and I'm cutting down on carbs as well. While I was intentionally trying to gain weight and muscle over the last few months, I realized I've been gaining more body fat than I would have liked (some fat gain is inevitable). So, I need to do something about it, and HIIT workouts and intermittent fasting with low-carb are what I'm going to do. That's all for today. I made a podcast episode about the importance of journaling, so if you want to check it out click here to listen. Peace.
  21. Yeah you can get by pretty well with stock stuff, but I agree. Spending just a little money can improve your vlogging setup so much, however I think it's better to create videos and improve your ability to talk on camera so that when it comes to bolstering your setup then you've got the content creation skills to match. My lighting is absolutely horrible, but I know by the end of the 90 videos in 90 days I'll be in a much better position to make use of any upgrades I get. Although, I will definitely be buying some lighting kits, microphones, and likely a separate vlogging camera. For now, though, I'll have to make do with my phone/DSLR!
  22. Day 21 >Game-free: 21 days >Gaming videos: 21 days >Social Media: 8 days Journal 3 weeks today! Its gone a lot faster than I thought it would to be honest. I'm almost a quarter of the way through the 90 day detox. Things have been tough, for sure, but I've had a lot of realizations about myself, and I'm so thankful that I decided to make this choice to quit gaming for good. I wonder how things would be now if I didn't. If I just gave in to my cravings and relapsed again. I have a feeling that things are going to get a lot better for me in the near future, despite everything that's going on in the world. The pollution has ramped up again: Not having a gym to go to has been a lot harder to deal with than anything else. That was my key habit every day, it's what my morning revolves around. Doing a bodyweight workout at home isn't the same, especially when I have no equipment and cannot go outside to find places to do pull ups and whatnot. Not sure what I'm going to do on that front, I guess I'll just have to suck it up and do HIIT near enough every day. I was planning on starting my cut this week, so it might be a good time to do it, although not having the heavier exercises will make it much more difficult to carry out the cut how I wanted. Ah well. I miss being in a small town in the English countryside where I'm able to go running and in less than a minute be out in deep woodlands and expanses of fields. Here's a picture of the lands outside my hometown, if anyone's interested: Not a lot else going on right now, my girlfriend's back today but we're pretty much stuck indoors, so not a lot of things we can go see or do this weekend. I'm enjoying The Last Kingdom series, although I have to say the books are much better. When we read books, especially fantasy, you build your own pictures and ideas of how the world should look. Not only that, but the relationships that get built up with certain characters are so much more detailed than you can depict in a TV show. They missed out some pretty big things, messed around with certain characters, and even cut out huge parts from the books - which I'm disappointed in. Regardless, it's entertaining, and makes for good watching in the background while I'm working. Peace.
  23. @ceponatia Yeah if I had the choice I'd buy a vlogging camera, perhaps the Canon M5. I'd be amazed if you had the EOS R7 haha, it's not out yet and is arguably going to be the best camera on the market 😉 Unfortunately my current DSLR, while great for photos, is too big and bulky to do vlog-style videos, and even when I do a normal video it doesn't look great (see Game Quitters most recent video). You should give it a try! You don't even have to make the videos public, they can just be for your own benefit. I've already learnt so much in just the first few weeks, and while I was fortunate to have done a ton of speaking stuff in the past (Twitch streaming, podcasting, media interviews), there's still a long way for me to go. I haven't actually encountered any trolls either haha, everyone has been so supportive. Perhaps because of the reason you said. I try to be as open as I can, and I think people resonate with that. @Erik2.0 Uh.. what? Sorry I'm just a little confused haha. I got out of Vietnam months ago, I work for Game Quitters so yeah there's going to be a lot of GQ on my plate. I haven't played games in 3 weeks, which is the purpose of the VLOG/journal, and I have no intention of returning anytime soon. Despite the cravings being strong I don't think there's any danger of me relapsing. Daily posting on the forum has been influential in that for sure. The first time I did the detox 5 or 6 years ago I was posting daily and it was fantastic, but the times after that, the times I struggled to stay away from gaming, I was only making a feeble attempt to post every few days. The support here really is great, and being able to think through your feelings and problems on daily basis really makes a difference. Hope you're doing good. Take care.
  24. Day 20 >Game-free: 20 days >Gaming videos: 20 days >Social Media: 7 days Journal It's not like me to release a journal so late, but I was so focused on work this morning that I just never got round to doing it. I had my whole day planned out the night before, and was so eager to get it done, but then I completely forgot I told my girlfriend I would help her move stuff out of her old apartment. Bugger. Cue me working at light-speed all morning to try and get the bulk of my work done in less than half the time it'd usually take me. I'm still not done, but I'm so much closer to finishing than I usually be. Then, my girlfriend told me that her friends had offered to help and that I'm no longer needed anymore. Whelp. I think I'm going to avoid the social situations and just keep doing my work. I've already cancelled the wedding party I was supposed to attend with her this week, which she's still going to despite me trying to tell her how ludicrously stupid it is. There's not a lot I can do anyway, it's one of her closest friends, and I can imagine how difficult it must be to cancel an event like that on such short notice. Regardless, no amount of empathy is going to convince me it's not a moronic thing to do. Anyway... In other news, the UK has pretty much imploded. Socially, economically, health whatever. I'm lucky I'm in a country that is doing better, although I'm not sure for how long, but yeah. It's affecting how much money I earn, but most importantly I'm worried about my family. I'm thousands of miles away from my grandparents and if something does go bad it's impossible for me to be there. I'm trying not to think these things but they're always going to find a way to slip into my mind somehow. I've come up with a pretty awesome routine that I'm going to be following, and I'm going to try and create a weekly schedule. I switched off from entirely yesterday evening, and didn't do anything work-related until I'd finished my routine. I feel so much better about it, and I'm looking forward to seeing how things will go. Still struggling with cravings, but my efforts to invest more time in my hobbies has helped mitigate that somewhat. Unfortunately, I'm now on the last book - #12 - of The Last Kingdom series (until he releases more). So, I'm going to have to find a new fantasy series to take its place. I might return to The Wheel of Time, I think I got about 7 or 8 books into that when I tried to read it before. I'm also considering getting into the world of Brandon Sanderson. My cousin wouldn't stop going on about it for years, and it seems right up my street. Plenty of options! If anyone's interested in seeing my recent YouTube video, here you go: Peace.
  25. Never mind, Thai government has closed all schools so my lessons are cancelled until April. Ah well! If anything I'm surprised that the decision wasn't made sooner. I guess the increase in cases in Thailand recently has spurred them into action again. In all fairness we were getting pretty comfortable in the country, no one was really taking it too seriously and honestly all the numbers were telling us that there wasn't much to worry about. Now people are starting to buy more food and essentials, places are closing, festivals and gatherings are being cancelled. Fortunately, the healthcare in Thailand is top-notch, and with the government being horribly corrupt and inept at most things perfectly reasonable and fair it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Day 19 >Game-free: 19 days >Gaming videos: 19 days >Social Media: 6 days Journal After my mini-breakdown yesterday I'm feeling a lot more optimistic today (see above post). Over the last year I've allowed me work/life balance to blend seamlessly into one. I'm never switched off and relaxing, and at the same time I'm never quite fully switched on. The result is constant feeling of overwhelming busyness that I'm convincing myself is productive, while simultaneously worrying that I'm never doing enough work and causing me to feel anxious all the time. How am I going to fix it? Not entirely sure yet. I know for a fact that I need: Stronger separation between working and non-working hours A better schedule Greater clarity on the exact tasks I need to do every day/week/month Less busy work and non-essential tasks first thing in the morning and in the evening More time out of the house, doing other activities for the sake of fun. I don't need to have a reason to do everything. Not every hobby needs to become profitable or have a goal or be a competition with myself. More mindfulness work, self-reflection, meditation. Journaling on here has helped so much, especially since doing it every day. Now, I'm not going to try and do all of this at once, that'd be way too much pressure and is the exact opposite of what I'm trying to achieve. I think for now I'm going to focus on better separation of working/non-working hours, and progressively build that into more of a schedule once I get an idea of how long each task takes me. I've also had some ideas about how I can shift my work a little bit. While I love marketing, I wish I had more of my own thing going on. The regular income is nice, but the details of the job probably aren't what you'd expect. I won't go into it too much here but yeah, it's not working so great for me. However, I love Game Quitters and want to keep working on it, I just think the nature of my work needs to change slightly. I think where my talents shine is some sort of consultation/strategist work, probably in the marketing space. I excel at ideas, creativity, teaching, and I think the shorter, more one-off relationships/deadlines would suit me. If I work on something for too long I start to lose interest. I never pursued this kind of thing in the past because a) I had no experience and b) I didn't think I could make much money. However, a friend of mine just signed a $12k+ contract over a few months for similar work, and he's slightly younger than me. Now, I will say that he's fantastic and I can see why he'd charge that much, but also if he's 23 and is able to showcase those numbers - why can't I? Obviously I'm not going to do this right away, and I think once I get more settled into schedules and routines with my current work it's something I can progress into, but it's exciting to think about where I can take my work in the future, as I know I don't want to be 'working a typical job' for the rest of my life. Anything else? Not that I can think of. I've got a podcast call this afternoon, I'm appearing on a show called Influencer's Cafe (I'm definitely not an influencer lmao) and I'm excited to see how it goes! It'll also help me learn more about the process of recording other people, especially with the new LAG podcast coming out soon. Thanks for reading!
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