NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Vee
-
Posts
67 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Vee
-
-
On 4/29/2024 at 3:46 PM, Franek said:
I'm planning to start a private journal, I know it can be very helpful, but I'm not sure where to begin and how to start. I suspect I just need to start, no matter how, and then it will somehow shape itself.
There's loads of different advice online about journaling, but I agree: the best thing is just to start, and not worry too much initially about what form it will take. It's something to experiment with, not try to get right the first time. You could even alternate between a paper-based one and a digital one, to see what feel right.
Although I have a lengthy template, my most basic journal entry is just a one-line summary of what I did that day. I only do that if I'm particularly lazy, but it's still useful for later reflecting on what I've done in the last week or month. Other things on my template (that I don't use daily): dream diary, goal tracker (three goals, no more) and gratitude section. I also automatically have an "On This Day" section linking to journal entries from this day each year (I use Obsidian for journalling, but I assume other software can do this).
Some days I might write a thousand words on something that is stressing me out, or I might write up the pros and cons of a big decision, but my average journal entry is just a few sentences about my day, how I felt, and what I hope for tomorrow.
On 4/29/2024 at 4:07 PM, Franek said:"I used to be very nice, but it's a flaw that causes more harm than good. It's better to be nice only when necessary."
- I wrote that incorrectly. I'll continue to be kind, but I'll watch out not to be taken advantage of.
"If there's something to do, I do it; I try my best, but if it doesn't work out, I won't get down if I tried. It's better than doing nothing or doing something half-heartedly."
- I realize now that wasn't quite what I wanted to convey either. What I meant is that I'm trying my best and giving it my all, but if a task proves too difficult and there's a way to simplify it, I'll do that.
Apologies if I interpreted your words too literally!
-
1
-
-
On 4/3/2024 at 7:27 AM, Franek said:
I'm changing my strategy. My goal is the same, but I'll not delete all games and accounts, I'll try to do something else to have less time for gaming. Additionally, I want to start going beyond my comfort zone and try to do something every day that I wouldn't normally do without thinking for hours about whether I really want to do it (often in the end it turns out that I don't do it and I'm just wasting my time).
I don't know if you are still trying to quit games without deleting your games, but...that sounds like trying to quit games on Impossible mode. Personally, I haven't deleted any actual accounts, but I have removed Steam and all other non-Steam games from my PC. I've also removed the games from my PS4 (although I don't really use it for gaming anyway).
If I have Steam installed, I'm going to play games. It is second nature to me to roll out of bed and play PC games without even pausing to think about it. It wouldn't matter how much I try to pack my life full of other hobbies and social events, if I have games still installed I would play games: first a little, then a lot, and then be back to playing them constantly.
On 4/26/2024 at 12:16 PM, Franek said:- I'm quitting watching and reading various motivational stories, what I should do and how I should do it.
- I'm stopping listening to other people and starting to listen to myself.
- I used to be very nice, but it's a flaw that causes more harm than good. It's better to be nice only when necessary.
- I don't have any rules yet; there are just three states - better than yesterday, the same as yesterday, and worse than yesterday. The first sentence is positive, the second - if it follows a better day, it's good; if it follows a worse day, it's bad, and the third is the worst.
- If there's something to do, I do it; I try my best, but if it doesn't work out, I won't get down if I tried. It's better than doing nothing or doing something half-heartedly.
And yea, tomorrow is the first day, nothing will stop me anymore.
I think it's good to not fall into the trap of watching loads of motivational stuff. What works for one person doesn't work for another, etc. I recommend keeping a private journal, so you can get to know yourself better - when you've played games for so long, it can be hard to even work out who you are outside of that, or pay attention to your physical body (at least that's true for me). A private journal is a good place not just for venting, but also for deciding on experiments you want to try, to figure out what works best for you. E.g. if you want to exercise (or exercise more), you could try switching up the time of day, or how long you exercise, or how much time you have between eating and exercising, and keep track of what makes exercise feel easier to stick to. I would suggest staying flexible, don't set long-term "rules" that you are likely to fail.
Personally, I prefer to try things half-heartedly if trying my best feels implausible, but everyone is different.
Being "nice" is...complicated. And vague as a concept. I think there is a balance to strike between asserting your boundaries while still being mostly friendly and open-minded, but it's hard. Especially if you have a history of people treating you like dirt or ignoring you - it can make you swing too wildly in either direction.
-
2
-
Day 10-24
Technically I did game on day 10 or 11, but I don't think it's productive to start my numbering from the beginning just for a blip of an hour or two.
I gamed pretty much accidentally, which is the other reason I don't want to renumber it. I was sitting around with my housemate, and then she handed me an N64 controller and I found myself playing Pokemon Snap. I've barely played on the N64 in my life, so I guess somehow I didn't process it as gaming for half an hour. Consoles are certainly not the big danger area that PC games are, but Pokemon Snap is not a party game, so it still goes against my personal rules for what is allowable.
It had a definite effect, too. The day after I felt quite drab and had a vague urge to play something, and then two days after that I had a massive urge to play something, anything. I lay on the sofa just staring at the consoles for literal hours, feeling too paralysed by choice to do anything else with my time. Thankfully my housemate later coaxed me out of the house, we went to a friend's house, and my brain started to normalise after that.
I've had a few desires to play games since then, but nothing too strong. Admittedly a lot of my time has been spent either watching TV or staring into space, but I have also seen friends, done some planning for a novel, worked a bit on my portfolio, and done online work almost every day. The work is currently consistent enough that I could live off it, but I don't know yet if that's what I'll end up doing long term. Even if I'm spending a lot more time than I'd like staring into space, I've still done a lot more than I would have if I was still playing games.
Self-management
Routine - I was doing pretty well with my morning routine up until this last week or so. My lack of morning routine is at least partly due to having run out of my usual breakfast cereal. Still, I've managed to at least do a tiny bit of journalling each morning, and I've done at least two hours of online work almost every day. Otherwise...very little routine.
Eating - Almost all my food has been from using Too Good to Go, which has been fun and gotten me out of the house. In case people don't know about it - you can get food from cafes and supermarkets that is about to expire for super cheap, but it is a mystery bag, so you don't know what you're going to get. I've tried out various places now, so I know which ones to avoid and which ones are amazingly good value. I haven't necessarily been eating three meals a day, or eating quite enough every day, but there have been no days when I've been unreasonably hungry, and I would estimate I haven't been under 1000 calories for over two weeks. I'm certainly not where I want to be, but I'm not too concerned.
Leaving the house - I've been pretty amazing at this - after moving in I left the house 16 days in row! That's definitely the longest streak since 2020, possibly the longest streak in... a decade? Most of the time I've been out for mundane reasons (picking up food), but I have done a bit of exploring. I've only been for three jogs in the last three weeks, but I went to a board game meetup, went round a friend's house several times, and went to the park with a new-ish friend and her child. We also had a housewarming with loads of people, many of whom I didn't know, and I coped really well.
-
2
-
-
23 hours ago, pdallair91 said:
I haven't made much of an effort to find a new job. So far, I've updated my resume and applied for a single job. I'm an honest and simple guy. I keep my resume short and to the point. The job posting was we are looking for X of Y with 2 years of Z experience. I was X of Y with ~10 years of Z experience. Seriously, it's almost like I was applying for something adjacent to what I was just laid off from. And yet, my application seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
The whole process feels so tedious and futile; I feel commodified - stripped of all ideas and personality - every step of the way. It doesn't matter how honest and deep you look at yourself, just sprinkle as many buzzwords as you can on your profile/resume, call it a "skill", call it "experience", and hope to God someone gets tricked into selecting you. Curiosity, ambition, ideas, values? If you don't have the means to make it happen yourself, put all that aside, shut up, sit down, and do what you are told. Like God damn, even dating apps are better than this and I've been single (no benefits) for >10 years. Can I at least get a "sorry but not interested" from this 1 employer? Sheesh...
Whenever I do a "what are my values" quiz or whatever, "honesty/authenticity" comes up all the time near the top for me. However, it seems like we live in a grifter's paradise these days. Being honest and accurate is for losers, it seems. Spread misinformation about yourself, others, and the world at large, it's all about quantity and not quality. That's the monster (i.e. the abyss) I feel I am up against, the type I am encouraged to become and it disgusts me.
I don't know what the point of all this is meant to be. Maybe I'm just ranting. *sigh* ... honestly, I don't "really" want to work for anyone else on some "bigtech" product... I just don't want to have to worry about rent, food, and medical expenses while I do my best to make myself and others feel a bit better somehow. I feel too tired and frustrated for large ambitions right now. I just want to feel safe and welcome. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently so...
I relate to a lot of that. The course I'm on has an employability module, and there's a lot of "be yourself!" alongside "Do X, Y and Z otherwise you're putting yourself at a disadvantage". I hate all the bollocks involved in getting a job, which is why I've dragged my feet over updating my CV and applying for jobs.
I've been single for ten years as well, and haven't touched a dating app in seven years(?). I don't think you are penalised for authenticity in the same way there, but I can't feel authentic on a dating profile when I know I'm being selective about what I do and don't mention. That's true in real-life interactions too, but it doesn't feel so...manipulative.
-
2
-
-
Day 5-9 of no gaming
Felt on edge until we got the internet on Thursday, but I feel more relaxed now, although still a little adrift. We don't have a sofa or microwave or various other furniture stuff yet, as we want to get as much as possible second-hand.
I haven't looked into various activity groups yet, I'll do that next week. I've been relatively busy this week, so I haven't even thought of games much!
Self management
Routine - Until Friday I did at least one thing towards my ideal routine, then yesterday I stuck to my ideal morning routine, and I read before going to bed as well. I've also journaled every day this week. Having my TickTick up on one screen permanently definitely helps.
Eating - I have put no effort into this... When I have eaten, it's mostly been because other people have prompted me or made food for me. From tomorrow I'm going to start using the Too Good to Go app, which will both help me get out of the house and also try a variety of food relatively cheaply. I'll also buy a rice cooker tomorrow or Monday.
Leaving the house - Today has been the first day since I moved that I haven't been out! It would be nice if I had gone for a little walk, and I still might. I jogged on Friday. I also pushed myself on Wednesday to go to London to see someone I hadn't seen in years, even though I was a little sluggish. I've wandered out for other bits and pieces too. The new location is so convenient, I've never lived so centrally in a town.
-
2
-
-
Congrats, that's amazing!
-
Day 2-4 of no gaming
Moved house! Everything went smoothly, and I'm incredibly grateful for all the help we had. I felt quite emotional at the kindness shown by loads of people, and then had an odd bout of negative feelings, which I spent a while journalling about. It's frustrating that even though I'm broadly more balanced and functional than I was in my twenties, I feel like I have more hangups from childhood than I used to.
Had a busy weekend, even excluding the move, as we also had friends from the other side of the country coming over to our new town (although staying with someone else), so we met up on all three days. My energy levels were surprisingly ok, although I couldn't quite keep up with others.
I have been craving games a little in the morning and at night, but it's not an overwhelming desire. My housemate told me about an LGBTQ bookclub in the new town, and a nearby town, so I'll look into those later in the week and hopefully meet some new local people there.
Self management
Routine - Simply hasn't been possible this weekend, BUT I woke up before 8am today alongside my housemate, and I journaled while she did yoga. I hope to keep it up, and once the flat is more sorted I'll try to form a fuller waking routine.
Eating - Neither great nor terrible. I think I've missed a couple of meals over the weekend, and not eaten enough when I have had a meal, but because it's been the moving weekend, it's just been a bit too awkward to eat sometimes, and we don't have much food stocked yet.
Leaving the house - It would be hard to move house without leaving the house 😄 So far I've left the house every day since I stopped gaming, but that's more been by necessity rather than choice. I was pleased I went for a little wander today to buy a couple of tools and look at furniture, when I could have just put it off until another day.
-
1
-
-
3 hours ago, Ikar said:
I'll just react to this bit. Take the following for what it is: my experience. I was on/off on dating apps between ages 19-22. I even managed to start a relationship over them. Though sometimes, I easily spent more time on them than a hobby or two. Overall, I don't think it's a useful tool for people who have (or try to have) a balanced life.
I think these social outlets give you better chances to meet (and date) someone organically and with less effort.
I would prefer to meet people at social things, but as a lesbian it's harder (though not impossible) to meet other gay/bi women organically. Once I've moved, I'll be closer to a town that has more LGBTQ events and groups, so I'll look into those.
Day 1 of no gaming
I didn't game yesterday, hoorah! I also didn't follow my goals listed above, nor did I try. My focus was on packing, and now I feel secure that I'm ready for moving tomorrow. I'm quite stressed at how little packing my housemate has done, so I'll probably help her tonight.
I will leave the house today to pick up the keys, and I should manage to eat breakfast and dinner at least. I won't put much effort into forming a routine for the next few days, but come this time next week I want to align myself with that goal.
-
2
-
-
I uninstalled Steam today.
I've spent the last few days pretty much just gaming and watching TV, as an obvious way of avoiding having to think about moving. I have finished all the moving-related admin, though I've barely started packing. I like to think of myself as someone who embraces change, but when it actually comes to big things like moving house or starting a new job etc, my avoidance is obvious. My problem is that I can't pinpoint any specific anxiety. Everything about moving is fine. I'll be with my best friend, walking distance from another friend, in a good flat, in a lovely town with better transport links. I have minimal furniture, so moving isn't much of a hassle, and I've moved plenty of times before, so its not an unfamiliar experience.
I guess I just feel more in limbo than usual. I'm not working, but I'm doing a course that will hopefully help me start a new career. I've done some online work, but I don't know if it will be a reliable way to make money. I keep thinking about installing dating apps again, but I haven't done so yet. I want to get back into writing, but I don't know what avenue to take. There are various half-baked trips I have later in the year with friends, but none of the details have been fixed.
I spent a while today reflecting on the last quarter. It's great that, due to my journaling, I can see I've made progress in the last three months. If I didn't have a record of it, I'd feel like I've just sat on my arse for three months. I saw my Nana for the first time in years, I tried indoor skydiving, I tried a dance session in London, I did various other social stuff, I engaged with my course, and I did a decent amount of jogging. I've done important boring things too - sorted out investments, went to the opticians, organised house stuff.
My three goals for the next quarter (they don't fit the SMART system, but I don't care):
1. Form a routine.
At minimum, I want to wake up at a similar time each day and have a basic morning routine, as well as go to bed at a sensible time and have a basic evening routine. A minimum morning would just be journal, eat breakfast, brush teeth, and take multivitamins. Evening would just be brush teeth and read.
Ideally, I want to structure the rest of my day so I have work-related things in the morning (online work, working on my portfolio, or sending out job applications), a regular exercise time and lunch time, spend the afternoon on hobbies/curiosities, then the evening on socialising or relaxing. I essentially want to have time slots for areas of my life, but be somewhat flexible on what happens in each of those time slots.
The main way of sticking to these is by using TickTick and journaling. Possibly I will try to wake up at the same time as my housemate so we can have a morning routine together (even if they look slightly different). This hasn't been possible before because her commute (and work obsession) means she gets up too early, but now she'll have a five-minute commute. As we'll be living near a friend who mostly works from home, I might also have more of a routine in terms of going over to his for lunch regularly.
2. Eat three meals a day
Strongly related to having a routine, but still worth thinking about as a separate goal. I don't have to cook anything extravagant, I don't even need to be super healthy, I just need to make sure I eat enough, especially after I've been exercising.
Ideally, I would also like to eat healthier, cook new meals, and cook food for others. I will probably have to experiment a bit with this, as eating four smaller meals a day might suit me better.
I hope to stick to this by making sure I have all the essentials for meals I feel comfortable making. I could bulk buy anything that isn't perishable. Once I've moved, I'm going to buy a rice cooker and steamer. I might try to agree on a specific day each week when I cook for my housemate.
3. Leave the house daily
At minimum, I want to have a five-minute walk around the block each day, just to get used to leaving the house.
Ideally, I want to jog 5+ times a week, with a longer exploratory jog once a week. I'd also like to start trying park runs. There are a couple of social things I'm also interested in - aerial hoop classes nearby, and dance sessions in London. I want to at least try those, even if I don't go regularly. There's also a board game group I'd like to join.
I hope to stick to this by having an exercise hour be part of my routine. Maybe a five-minute walk could be part of my morning routine. I can also walk over to my friend's house to do work-related stuff or hobby-related stuff even if we aren't socialising. Perhaps I could experiment with bringing a pencil and notepad to a cafe, although getting a drink regularly would affect my finances. For the social things, I hope to lure one of my friends to a session or two, until I feel more confident going by myself.
-
1
-
-
On 4/1/2024 at 9:31 AM, JuMpZ said:
Day #90/90
I got through the 90 days!!! Awesome. I'm glad I was able to get through it, and I think if it weren't for my sacrifice of giving up something I absolutely loved (video games), I probably wouldn't have been able to give my best shot at submitting a portfolio for my art program. It was either my art aspirations or video games, and I chose the former.
I don't see myself introducing video games back into my life anytime soon, if at all. I haven't had any urges to go back but I also think that I need to start cutting back on some other bad habits in my life. YouTube has been far less egregious an offender for disrupting my life than video games, but I think that cutting back on consuming social media will help me build better habits in the long run.
In any case, I'd say these 90 days have been meaningful and impactful, and if I still had games in my life I would be struggling far more right now.
What I'm thankful for:
Having the strength to not relapse. I'm glad I made it through the 90 days.
Goals for Day #91:
Work on some personal artwork.
Read.
Spend time with a friend maybe?
Amazing, congratulations! You've worked hard to change your life, and it sounds like it has paid off.
-
1
-
-
This week has plodded along. I've played about an hour a day, although I think yesterday it was more like two hours. I don't even have my previous excuse for not uninstalling That One Game.
I went out for my longest ever jog on Wednesday (14K), although it ended up being maybe 50% walking. Still, even for walking, that's an impressive distance for me. Had a mini jog today as well.
Otherwise...I've mostly watched TV or napped. I've struggled to engage with anything else. I read for a few minutes the other day, and I also looked over my old writing notes, but I couldn't manage either for even half an hour. I haven't done much in the way of preparing for moving either, though I'm not too concerned about that. Today I Googled an interesting class I can take when I move (aerial hoop/silks), although I'll have to wait until I finish my data course. My friend also mentioned a board game club her friend goes to in the town I'm moving to.
I guess I feel in limbo as I can't start various things until I move. There is obviously still an incredible amount of things I could do to pass the time, but I'm just not interested in anything It probably hasn't helped that I've been bad with taking my supplements, so I'm probably a little malnourished.
I'd really like to build up my ability to concentrate on reading again. Occasionally I can read long articles, but it's been a long time since I've been engrossed in a novel. I guess it's just a matter of trying to read a little each day.
-
1
-
-
I feel like I've built up some momentum today. I uninstalled all but one game, and I probably played that one game for about an hour in total. I walked to the supermarket (possibly for the first time this year? I've been relying on my housemates getting food), read a tiny bit, attended my course, did a tiny bit of work on my portfolio, and did a couple of hours of online work that will help alleviate my angst about the higher rent of the next place. Oh, and I brushed my teeth! I also napped for a couple of hours, which is a bit annoying as I don't think my body needed it, but since I got other things done I'm not concerned.
I also ate better today than previous days. I don't count calories, but I'd guess that in the last couple of weeks there have been days where I've eaten about 500 calories, and many days where I've eaten less than 1000. Considering I've been jogging more, that's extra bad. My plan is to buy a rice cooker once I've moved, and push myself into making rice and beans. So simple for everyone else, but I have such a weird block when it comes to making food! I've told my housemate I intend to cook for her once a week. Maybe we will fix a specific day each week.
My plan tomorrow: do a couple of hours of online work, go for a jog, and start to organise my room for moving. Hopefully sort out the remaining admin for the move, though that somewhat depends on my housemate. It would be nice to return to writing, but I won't push myself on it. Just putting it here as a reminder that it is a possibility.
-
2
-
-
Damn, that sucks to have back-to-back medical issues! A friend had Bell's palsy last year, and even though for her it improved after a couple of months, it's still a really scary thing to happen.
Regarding the issue with "recommended videos", I recommend the Chrome extension UnDistracted. It can specifically hide recommendations, so you can still use the website, but you end up only watching videos that you were specifically seeking out. It's drastically cut down my YouTube watching time, without me having to actually block YouTube (and then inevitably sometimes unblock it because sometimes there is information I need that I can only find in video form). It can do similar things to Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, LinkedIn and Netflix. I don't know if there is an equivalent phone app, but it's worth looking into.
-
2
-
-
I have two suggestions that might help you (apologies if you are already doing these):
First, make a list of hobbies that you are interested in, or that you have been interested in in the past. Ideally, ones where success can be measured (e.g. exercise), or that help you socialise (e.g. volunteering). Game Quitters itself has an interesting tool to give you ideas: https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/ Did you like drawing or writing or crafting when you were younger? Are there any classes (dance, pottery, art, cookery, whatever) you and your children could go to together? If money is tight, what about exercise with your family or friends - running, yoga, cycling? You can also track your exercise progress with an app like Strava, helping mimic the sense of progress you felt in the game.
Honestly, at this point it doesn't have to be respectable "productive" hobbies - even just watching TV or reading trashy books will at least help break your obsession, even if they aren't ideal. To make it a bit more engaging, you could write reviews of what you've read/watched on Goodreads or IMDB or some other site.
Maybe in your journal try each day to write a paragraph specifically on some other interest, or potential interest. Even if you aren't ready to try something, you could do some research and write about why it seems interesting and what is holding you back. You could even just pick a random historical event each day that you want to learn more about.
Second, stop engaging in anything relating to the game. Don't speak to your guild members through other channels (unless you now consider them a solid friend, and they agree to not speak about the game at all with you). Capybara in particular seems to be an unpleasant person. Don't watch videos or read articles about your game. Consider using a website-blocking app on your phone. When you find yourself talking about the game to your friends or family, gently redirect yourself. "I could be preparing for the challenge today with Ren, and...Well, I'm glad I've freed up some time in my life. Maybe I should look into playing the guitar - I think that could be really soothing and satisfying. Have you ever played any musical instrument?" etc.
Obviously, without knowing your full situation, some of these suggestions might not be useful to you, but they are things to think about at least!
-
1
-
-
I only gamed for maybe an hour yesterday, then pushed myself to see a couple of friends, rather than decided I was too tired and staying in. I've gamed maybe an hour today, but ended up being distracted by other stuff. I haven't yet uninstalled Steam for a very silly game-related reason... Basically, if I just play my main game for a couple more days, then I will get better offline gains for however long I'm away. Which I know is defeating the point (and ideally I won't go back to it anyway) but oh god, I can't resist.
17 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:--> A few members have even voiced concerns over gamification of learning, and my view on gaming in particular previously expanded to include social settings - like refusing to invest energy into any kind of real-world physical/psychological contests at all. --> How do you think we might set aside a definition for the type of gaming that we really know, for each of us personally, is destructive? I can only think of 'online, real-time' or something.
I don't know if I'm misunderstanding your question, but I think destructive/unhealthy hobbies (i.e. something that is done in your spare time, rather than work) are ones that can fall into one or more of these categories:
- Bring out negative emotions in us at a far greater rate than positive ones, e.g. anger, frustration, misery.
- Negatively impacts our health or level of functioning in basic areas (eating, sleeping, hygiene) frequently
- Negatively impacts our relationships with others, e.g. means we see/interact with people far less frequently than we need (bearing in mind different people need different amounts of interaction), how lower quality interactions, or behave in a way that is cruel, dismissive, or otherwise repels people and disrupts/destroys our relationships
- Negatively impacts our responsibilities - e.g. with work, school, or childcare.
- Potentially also one which is an unbalancing force in our lives, i.e. 80% of our free time is spent doing that one activity. Although I'm undecided about that if it doesn't fall into other categories.
Also, I think it has to have a frequent or severe negative impact for it to qualify. An example: I know a person who attempts "The DW" most years, a continuous 125 miles of kayaking that takes 20+ hours. On that specific day, I imagine negative emotions can bubble up, and people sometimes experience exhaustion, heatstroke and other health issues. But the training for it broadly enriches their lives - they get to exercise, socialise with their club, and see nature, without sacrificing responsibilities or sleep, except on that one day. I imagine there is a great sense of achievement when you complete that event, and it's something that most people would understand and be impressed by (rather than "I'm in the top 200 for this specific game" etc). It's something you could bring up in a job interview as an interesting little fact about yourself. But even with kayaking, people could take it too far and it might tick a lot of the above boxes.
For me, the way I game impacts my level of functioning and how frequently I socialise, and it also makes it hard for me to do anything else, because I don't want to lose time that could be spent on gaming. But gamification of learning isn't destructive for me unless it lures me into actual gaming, or I get so focused on the gamification that I'm not truly learning anything (which is usually more of an issue with the app/platform).
I would also say that there is 1% of gaming which is fine for me, namely party games like Jackbox. It's impossible to play by yourself, and I would only play it with actual friends - usually when at least some of them are in person. It acts to facilitate social situations, rather than replace them, and can lead to interesting conversations.
...That was long-winded, and I'm not sure if it was what you were looking for! 😄
-
1
-
Still gaming excessively, especially in the last fortnight.
Was stressed this month about moving house, with various complications arising and decisions to be made, but my friend and I found a place, and yesterday got confirmation that we passed all the checks. So we're moving in two weeks! It's a great flat (my housemate has actually lived in the same flat before!) in an excellent location, although the rent is an eye-watering amount by my usual standards.
With that angst out of the way, I really want to set a good tone for the new flat and imbue it with positive habits. A good sleep schedule, minimal fizzy drinks (I feel like I've drunk more fizzy drinks in the last year than the rest of my life put together...), a jogging routine (still very variable), journalling daily (fell out of the habit), more reading, more writing, and of course... Less (or zero) gaming.
I think the only real way forward is zero gaming. I will always fail at moderation. If I at least try to quit games when I move house, then when I inevitably slip up, the environment will not feel like one where excessive gaming is super familiar.
Some areas of my life are going well. I've gotten back into jogging (and the new place has some gorgeous jogging routes nearby). My data course is solid. I've done a bit of socialising, some of it pro-active on my part. Although I've obviously been avoiding loads of things via gaming, I generally haven't felt miserable, which makes this one of the better winters in my life.
-
1
-
-
On 1/26/2024 at 8:56 PM, richter said:
A couple days off turned into two weeks off, so I feel ya! I'm planning on running again tomorrow. I've a neighbourhood that I run in and it has both trail and street runs. I switch it up depending on the weather. How about you? Do you have a goal you're working towards? I'd love to run around 7-8k (solo) a couple times a week, and throw in a race (with friends) every now and then.
I have four routes that I do semi-regularly, but I like to try the odd random route. While I sometimes push myself in terms of speed, my only real goal is one of exploration. I use Strava to log my runs, and there's another app called Veloviewer that connects to it and has an "explorer tiles" feature (the world is divided up into 1km squares), which encourages me to try new routes to cover the most squares. It feels like a far more compelling goal to me than speed, distance, or some specific race.
On 1/26/2024 at 8:56 PM, richter said:Day 66
I'm mildly miserable at the moment but I'm also somehow confident that I can turn this around. I'm trying to limit my screen time by having a to do list and only use my laptop if I have a reason to use it. (No mindless surfing and wasting hours.) So far it has been reasonably successful and I will continue this 'simple' method. We'll see where it leads me.
Sounds like you're doing great minimising screen time!
Can you pinpoint why you are mildly miserable, or is it just lots of little things/nothing in particular? Or else because it's winter? (if you're in the northern hemisphere)
-
1
-
-
5 hours ago, Yan said:
1 Thing I could do better
- No chitchat when I came home regarding gift of apartment mate for birthday. If I would've preared food a bit earlier - 5 minutes, I'd have more time to eat during pmodoros, would do extra pomodoro and would make it to visualization time. Give 'em hell 🙂Did you enjoy the chitchat when you came home, if you ignore the lost time? (Which I'm guessing is why you think you shouldn't have chitchatted?) Socialising is important, and even little bits of small talk can help contribute to general wellbeing, perhaps even more so if it's spontaneous, rather than planned.
-
1
-
-
Still been gaming excessively, but got some stuff done around it, and I've focused only on one game, at least. As it's a semi-idle game, technically that leaves me with time to do other things, but I do often micromanage it instead.
Had a good call with writing friends on Thursday, although we didn't discuss writing (I haven't written in over a month!). Went to a great dance event with a friend on Friday and I'm pleased that I introduced her to something new - she's keen to go again some time. I also got some solid reading done on the train there, and I've done a tiny bit of reading at home since - only five minutes yesterday, but half an hour today, which is something. I've been a bit better with my sleeping/eating/hygiene/chores than I was earlier this month.
Maybe it would be good to bite the bullet and quit gaming again...
-
2
-
-
I don't have any wise words to add to the above, but I just want to say... I hear you. That sounds like a horrible experience, made even more difficult by not having supportive people around you. I hope 2024 goes better for you.
-
2
-
-
Good to see someone else get into running as well! I've let it fall to the wayside over the last month, but I'm keen to get back into running regularly again. Do you have a certain route you mostly stick to, or do you mix it up?
-
2
-
-
Still gaming, but making that post yesterday was clearly the kick up the arse I needed to get some stuff done. Since that post I:
- Talked about indoor skydiving with my housemate, though I'm waiting on him to confirm what day works
- Went for my second jog of the year, and the first proper length one (last week did a 3K jog, today was 6K). It went surprisingly well, considering I've barely exercised in the last month - I even got some personal bests on Strava segments!
- Did a bunch of chores I've ignored (dishwasher, laundry, bank stuff)
- Arranged to visit London on Friday with two friends for an event (I initiated it!)
- Booked an appointment with the opticians for tomorrow (haven't been in five years)
- Finally ordered an electric toothbrush, which I've been meaning to do for a while but inexplicably avoided.
On the gaming front, the only progress I've made is limiting myself to one game. I don't miss the other two I was playing, at least not yet. I haven't moderated my use of the one game, but by doing the above I've at least played it slightly less today.
Something I recently implemented in my private journal that I really like is automatically linking to the same day in previous years. Since I only started journalling at the end of 2022, I get at most one entry at the moment. Google technically does a similar thing with the maps timeline, but that only shows where I was, not what my mental or physical state was. This time last year I hadn't jogged in years, and I wrote about how much my hip had been hurting. Nowadays it takes over an hour of walking/running until my hip starts hurting, instead of ten minutes, or it simply hurting while lying in bed. It also reminds me of little conversations I've had with friends. I've really been enjoying how journalling (especially in Obsidian!) assists my memory and shows a) how I've changed and b) the positive experiences I've had.
Tomorrow's plans: since I intend to walk to and from the opticians I don't plan on running, unless I don't walk. Maybe I'll also go to the supermarket. I've completely ignored writing for about a month and don't feel up to doing any, but a friend has sent me a short story to critique, so I might do that tomorrow. I have loads of books lying around in my room that were gifted or lent to me last year, so I really want to start reading them.
My rough plan going forward is to see if I can maintain this level of engagement with the world, and then uninstall Steam next week. I know it may seem silly ("The best time is now!" etc), but I feel like I need to slowly remind myself of alternatives so that I don't end up lying in bed all day. I've been reading a little yesterday and today about problem-solving vs creating, so I guess that's influenced this way of thinking.
-
3
-
I don't see why you would be kicked off here, unless there's something I'm missing.
4 hours ago, sniper said:V2hlbmV2ZXIgcGVvcGxlIGhlcmUgYXJlIGZlZWxpbmcgZG93biwgdGhleSBjYW4gbG9vayBhdCBt
eSBqb3VybmFsIGFuZCBiZSBoYXBweSB0aGF0IHRoZXkgYXJlIG5vdCBhcyBiYWQgYXMgbWUuIEkg
YW0gb25seSB0cnlpbmcgdG8gaGVscC4gSSB3b250IGdvIHRvIGRpc2NvcmQgYmVjYXVzZSBhbGwg
b2YgdGhlbSBkZXNlcnZlIHRvIHNpdCBpbiBkaWFseXNpcyBhbGwgZGF5LCBJIHdhbnQgdGhlIHBl
b3BsZSBoZXJlIHRvIGltcHJvdmUgYW5kIHByb2dyZXNzIGluIHdoYXRldmVyIHRoZXkgYXJlIGRv
aW5nIHNvIEkgYW0gb25seSB0cnlpbmcgdG8gaGVscC4gVGhhbmtzIGRvbnQga2ljayBtZSBwbGVh
c2UKCkkgZG9udCBjYXJlIGFib3V0IG15c2VsZiBhbnltb3JlIHBsZWFzZSwgSSB3YW50IG90aGVy
cyBoZXJlIHRvIHN1Y2NlZWQgYW5kIG5vdCBmYWlsIGxpa2UgbWUuIAoKCg==I don't think there is much pleasure to be gained from seeing someone do badly, at least for me. Seeing others grow is satisfying, as well as seeing people pick themselves up when they have "failed". Failure is a temporary state, it's not an inherent part of someone.
Why don't you care about yourself?
-
1
-
-
On 12/16/2023 at 12:24 PM, FDRx7 said:
I may be echoing @Ikar here, but based on what you've said about app restriction, moderation, and then how you've ended your post, I think you need a clear definition of what you mean by "recommit to not playing". You said you do not feel free when it is restricted, so are you looking to be free to choose to play if you want? That would be more in line with moderation. Whether you quit entirely or moderate, you'll need to find some way to stop yourself from playing because willpower is limited. I've found I am always weakest at night, despite my best intentions. That's why blockers work for me. If they aren't working for you, that's fine but you'll need something or someone to keep you from gaming during the times you've committed not to. The restriction does feel like a loss of freedom at first, but I've discovered that over time, you will experience the new use of your time as freedom. There is an adjustment period where you need to wait for the addiction to slowly fade from the forefront of your attention.
Keep at it It sometimes takes experimentation. Glad you haven't given up!
To clarify, I don't think I can moderate (though I always wish I could...). It's more that if I'm putting visible restrictions on myself, e.g. using a blocker, then some part of me wants to rebel, moreso than if I merely uninstall Steam and do just try to use willpower. I'm not really sure how to describe it, to be honest. It isn't logical.
...Anyway, I've continued to game for the last month. I don't feel capable of quitting right now, because I feel too apathetic about everything. At the moment, gaming is the main thing that gets me out of bed, and while that's obviously rubbish, if I quit gaming I don't feel like I've got anything else to get up for. Sometimes even gaming hasn't been enough, and I've spent most of a day just lying in bed daydreaming. Most of my other attempts at hobbies and routines have fallen to the wayside. I've semi kept up with my journalling, I think that's the only thing.
I've done quite a bit of socialising over the last month, though. I hadn't seen or spoken to my sister in 13 years (we have never been on bad terms, but our family is complicated), and in December I initiated a reunion. It was good! I have so many worries about what she would be like, but it was perfectly pleasant, and we've exchanged a couple of texts since. I also saw my Nana last weekend (again, initiated by me) who I haven't spoken to in 5 years or so. It was awkward, but she seemed to really appreciate it. Done various other bits of socialising, and I haven't chosen to game over doing social stuff, so that's something.
I've also signed up for a data analyst course that begins in February. I'm not sure how useful it will be, but it will at least give me a bit of structure, and with any luck will lead to job opportunities.
Right now I guess I need to pull myself out of my apathy a bit so I can recommit to not gaming. I know gaming itself contributes to my apathy, but despite the occasional socialising, I've been in such a haze the last month that if it's a choice between lying in bed all day vs gaming all day, I think the latter is a better choice.
EDIT: I have three main games I've been addicted to recently. I've now logged out from the browser-based one (I don't remember my password, so there would be friction getting back into it) and deleted the non-Steam one. I've also uninstalled most of the Steam games I had installed over the last month, but I've kept the one I'm addicted to, for now. Will think about uninstalling Steam, but not committing to that today.
I'm recommitting to using TickTick daily (task and habit tracker). The silly reason I haven't really used it recently is because I haven't been using my second monitor (where I used to have it up 90% of the time), so I simply forget it exists. I'm also changing various bits in it that will help remind me of alternatives to gaming and encourage me to use it more.
-
3
-
Dear Diary...
in Daily Journals
Posted
That sounds incredibly difficult! It's ok to vent - it's a stressful situation, even though it's nobody's doing.
Do you feel you have a good level of support from family and/or friends?