KO

7/23/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: C Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: Waffles with peanut butter Meal 2: Ice-cream, chocolate bread, rice, vegetable soup, goat meat. What I Did Today: 3 minutes of open ended meditation,5-minute timed meditation 10 pages read 10 minutes/half-Pomodoro of coding My Thoughts: I skipped the last two journal entries, but I’m here now after a minor setback. Relapsed PMO going to stop counting the days for now. Still game free! Glad I didn't relapse on games, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Plan for Tomorrow: Go back to doing the opposite of what I did on this day.

Hell yeah!

7/21/17 Not my best day but I didn't game or break the habit chain.

Thank you. You'll be surprised how much strength and muscle you gain starting out, stronger than you think.

7/20/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E->C-Abstaining from gaming for 2 weeks+ Almost 3 weeks in! Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: Egg and cheese sandwich, waffles. Meal 2: Rice, goat, beef. What I Did Today: 5 minutes of meditation, 2 minutes of open ended meditation. Read 10 pages Greeted 3 people today, didn’t even think much about it. 2 Pomodoros of coding Workout Summary: 3x6-8 RDLs-Added 10lb and did more reps for my first two sets 1st set 235lbx8 2nd set 235lbx7 3rd set 235lbx6 3x10-12 Leg Press-No changes 3x10 3x8-10 Seated Leg Curls 3x10 145lb 4x6-8 Standing Calf Raises 4x8 30lb 6x15 Ab Bicycles My Thoughts: Soon... Plan for Tomorrow: Get out of bed, break the chain.

I should, I'm starting to notice how much I discredit myself.

7/19/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: Peanuts, waffles, apple, glass of milk. Meal 2: 2 bottles of water, 2 plantains, 2 eggs, fish stew. Meal 3: Processed garbage What I Did Today: 5-minute timed meditation. 10 pages of How to Be Miserable Reviewed For Loops for one Pomodoro My Thoughts: Don’t break the chain, don’t break the chain, don’t break the chain! Fuck I wasted most of the day by browsing on my phone ☹. At least I didn’t PMO or game today ? Plan for Tomorrow: Waste less time on bullshit. >_> Set a procrastination timer, play “You Say Run” during that time. I have to make a decision in 2 minutes or less.

I'll keep on fighting! Thank you brother.

7/17/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: Turkey on a roll, 2 bottles of 17 oz. water, a banana, a handful of peanuts. Meal 2: Rice, beef, eggs. What I Did Today: 5 minutes timed meditation Open ended mediation-not sure how long I did it for 11 pages of The Power of Habit 1 Pomodoro session of coding Wasted the rest of the day My Thoughts: I’m getting slightly better ? Plan for Tomorrow: Do the opposite but better

7/16/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: Boiled egg, a banana, tomato stew, rice, water, beef, waffles, sausage links. Meal 2: Rice, beef, boiled egg, water. What I Did Today: 5-minute timed meditation 3-minute open ended meditation Read 10 pages of The Power of Habit Messed around with an example of an iterative Fibonacci function using a while loop. My Thoughts: I live to see those check marks now, can’t waste the day again. FUCK IT DID EVEN WORSE TODAY. Plan for Tomorrow: Do the opposite of what I’ve been doing.

Good strategy. Keep it up! Thank you, barely made it to day two. Thank you, it's funny because I feel like I display cognitive dissonance often.

7/15/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: 4 eggs, waffles, and two 17 oz. bottles of water. Meal: 2 turkey sandwiches on a roll, 17 oz. bottle of water Meal 3: Rice, goat, beefs, plantains, eggs, rice, 17 oz. bottle of water. What I Did Today: 5 minutes timed meditation 2 minutes open ended Read 10+ pages of TPOH Struggled trying to make a Fibonacci function(novice confirmed ☹) Decluttering my habit tracker, tried to start too habits and I got overwhelmed. Now I’m only doing three habits right now. Read at least 10 pages a day, 5 minutes of meditation or more and 2 Pomodoro’s worth of coding at least. Going to try the “don’t break chain method” and form an order for my habits. My Thoughts: Room is for sleep only, once I wake up I’m going to get out. Room is for sleep only, once I wake up I’m going to get out. Room is for sleep only, once I wake up I’m going to get out. Plan for Tomorrow: Waste a little less time

Thank you! Suck a little less everyday. Thank you! I don't see it but it's happening. I need to celebrate the little victories more.

7/14/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Rice, eggs, beef, turkey, salad, waffles, and bananas. What I Did Today: In the process of forming my new habits. Meditated guided 5 minutes and 2 minutes open ended. Read a few pages of this practical philosophy book, but the writing was not my style. Going to pick up The Power of Habit instead. I completed a single Pomodoro session without breaking focus. Workout Summary: RDLs 3x6- 225lb sacrificed 2 reps to add more weight Leg Press 3x10 Seated Leg Curls 3x8-130lb Standing Calf Raises 4x8-30lb Abs(Bicycles) 5x15 My Thoughts: Hit double digits woohoo! Today went better than yesterday but I still go on autopilot way too often. Plan for Tomorrow: Screw around a bit less

7/13/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Waffles, bananas, rice eggs, turkeys, and beef. What I Did Today: Meditation 3 minutes open ended Read 5 pages Wasted less of my time today but still wasted an apt amount of time. My Thoughts: Fuck man, relapsed PMO but on my way to for no gaming. I’m valuing the wrong things right now. Plan for Tomorrow: Don’t think about it

Thank you for the recommendations, I'll look into The Power of Habit first.

7/12/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Rice, tomatoes, fish, eggs, bananas, peanuts, peanut butter and bread. What I Did Today: Woke up around 7:30 AM instead of the usual 12:00PM. Meditated-6 minutes open ended 5 minutes timed 5 minutes guided -web surfing- Pickup basketball games, felt great playing despite of skill level. Going to find groups for other activities. Workout Summary: Everything felt normal, no real struggles or major form breakdowns. Bench 3x6-205lb Rows 3x6-135lb DB Incline 3x8-45lb Lateral Rises 2x10-20lb Triceps Pushdown 2x10 DB Curls 2x10-30lb My Thoughts: Going to drop the Slight Edge for and now and refer to it when I need it. It feels as if the author was trying to extend a simple concept over a couple hundred pages. Not sure what to read next. Fuck man, I did more than yesterday but I wasted a lot time on reddit. Plan for Tomorrow: Stop procrastinating, apply 3-5 second rule.

Thank you but it felt like waste, but I experienced a necessary mindset shift.

7/10/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Pizza and chocolate bread, I give myself until 30 to live. What I Did Today: Procrastinated, another day wasted. Workout Summary: Returning after a break, going to take it easy for now. Squat 3x6-275lb Felt weak doing my sets. Questionable depth, trouble with placement, and may have missed a rep Split Squats 3x6-25lb dumbbells Leg Curls 3x8 Seated Calf Raises 4x10-40lb Abs Bicycles 3x15-Could have done more sets, but I need to ease back into it. My Thoughts: I told myself I was going to start regularly updating this again and here I am until I get addicted again. Almost a week of clean living! Plan for Tomorrow: Wake up earlier, before 12pm.

Thank, you good to be back!

Back after another hardcore relapse, found a group and everything.

5/28/2017 I have a great feeling about today. Why? No reason. Never mind, this day was shit.

5/27/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: -Didn’t track- Exercise Summary: -Skipped leg day, am I bro now? - General: Yo! It's KO with more pointless unnuanced rambling! Not living the way, I want to life and I choose to do nothing about. Instead I try to the numb the pain by escapism. You know the usual; video games, porn, and TV. Who do I want to be in life? How do I want to live? How do I become who I want to be in life? What are the steps I need to take to live like I want to live? Why am I doing all of this? What is my reason? Yay for cringe self-development and shitty YouTube motivation. Looked at a NSFW reddit sub and I’ve never been so disgusted and disappointed in myself. Feelsbadman.png, wait no I don’t deserve png quality, Feelsbadman.jpeg. Read through Slight Edge Chapter 1! Couldn’t be bothered to get out of a chair yesterday. Progress motherfucker! Getting rid of my website blockers, whenever I block websites I get too focused on what’s blocked and I try to find loopholes to access the website. I believe it’s better to have the mindset of its available to me but I DON’T want it. Done with online games, I mean what’s the point? I was playing the CBT and the progress was getting wiped and I spent all night grinding dungeons and for what? Depriving myself of sleep Giving myself the Quasimodo special? Hell, I remember one game I invested a lot of time in was shut down this spring and another one is shutting down this summer. Knowledge Gained: How to doesn’t matter as much as why Plan for Tomorrow: Doing the damn, the thing

Another hardcore relapse, I want to die.

Relapsed today, uninstalling and blocking.