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Posts posted by Gorxen

  1. I don't even know if doing this is right, I'm so embarrassed!. But I believe I really owe @Cam, @spinips, @wookieshark88, and some others I don't remember well an explanation of why I suddenly disappeared 2 years ago since all of you were super nice to me.

    Today I had the opportunity to watch this video recently posted by cam, which inspired me to come back and offer an explanation.


    First thing I did today as I came back here was check my last Daily Journal entry, which was probably somewhere in Sep-Oct/2015. Turns out all my posts in that section appear to be deleted, which I understand given the lack of activity, But anyways, In there I talked about my struggles with multiple health issues I was battling back in the day,  and how gaming provided a escape for all the physical and emotional pain I was dealing with.

    During that time when I was updating my journal, I managed to achieve the amazing milestone of 4 months without games, the longest streak I've achieved (still to date) in my life. It was magical, little by little, my health both physically and emotionally started to improve and I couldn't believe it was happening. But that didn't last long.....

    2 days after my last Daily Journal entry, the demons came back..... with a vengeance, my health abruptly began to deteriorate again, and kept getting worse over the following days/weeks. It got really bad. So seeing myself in that miserable and deplorable state sunk me back into depression which also led to... you guessed, getting back to the only pain relief that had "effectively" worked over the years. And the day I relapsed It suddenly hit me, * I WASN'T REALLY READY TO QUIT FOR GOOD *, the elements I needed to really and fully transition to something else just weren't there, they never were. I had no IRL support system (my family doesn't like to address my health issues), I had no real tight friends, no caretakers, money was scarce, too much physical and emotional pain on a daily basis, etc. there was just no way I was going to make it on my own, and even though the love and support you guys showed me back in the day was amazing, it was just not enough. I heard here and there that in order to completely give up an addiction you have to replace it with another healthier one, I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't find anything engaging enough that could replace it for me.

    It's February 2017, and ever since it's been a slow and painful recovery. To this day, my health problems still persist, not as bad as back then but still make my days challenging at times. the good news is, for a while now I've come up with a practical method that has finally started to show some positive results and improvements are happening. Yes I still play games, but my plan to quit them is still there, I'm gathering those elements I need, and I'm very hopeful I'll get em' sooner than later, honestly, I'm actually excited. I want to make sure that the next time I try, is going to be the good one, I'm working on it, so rest assured (assuming your care haha) that this is not the last of me, I'll be back!

    P.D. Suggestions are welcome.

    Other than that, I just want to apologize once again for not reporting back earlier, I was in a really bad place, I hope you can understand.

    Love, Andy.

  2. I kinda have days like that from time to time when IBS knocks me down good and sits a foot on my face and won't let me get up, now I just try to embrace those days and cope the best way I can, I discard my schedule and simply focus on either resting or having fun watching videos or reading, there's really just so much you can do when you get sick, so don't feel down, it's just one of those days, that's all.

  3. Video games made me feel like I belonged to a certain social group.

    ?Sadly. most times this is but a fallacy, you're only as "loved" and "accepted" as your performance in the game. Back in my wow days, I got really good at healing and would often get called in for raids, often taking the main healing roles in them. One day though, I was sick, had a headache and Lightheadedness, could barely function but still agreeded to join a raid cause they were my "friends" and you don't let friends down. needless to say, I made that 10 man raid wipe once, then twice, then 3 times, and by the time we were getting ready for a 4th and final attempt, they had started to call me names and belittling me. I couldn't belive they'd ever say those things to me after I gave my best despite feeling like udder garbage, but it is what it is, so I left the raid, the guild and never talked to them again.

    I'm not saying you can't find really good friends in games, but it becomes a true challenge to do so since things are not always what they seem. Now I'd rather stick to irl friends or none at all, works better for me.

  4. ?I used to do habits though willpower, but it always failed me after a while.

    ?And always will, cause Willpower and motivation are USELESS when it comes to achieving goals.

    Watch this video, it opened my eyes in ways than no book or random advice ever did, it's thanks to this video that I've already developed the habit of working out 30 mins everyday during the morninig NO MATTER WHAT, even if it's just walking, I get it done. This guy gives amazing advice in several topics, check him out.

  5. Paisano, que onda! haha anyways, welcome to our army, I recently completed my very first month games-free, quitting is defo going to be one the best decisions in your life, this is coming from someone with a 27 years background story of gaming, the first days are the thoughest, then it loosens more and more as you progress, I too was addicted to both WoW and LoL, but on the long run I realized I was getting absolutely NOTHING good or productive out of them so I'm glad I already quit, but anyways, let us know if you have any questions or need anything else, this community is AWESOME so you won't regret coming here.

  6. I'm with you in these hard times, health is one of those things that sometimes there's just so much we can do about, serenity, patience and aceptance is what we need to hold on to so we can keep moving on in times like this, just hang in there, wishing my best to you and your relatives.

  7. Hm... the more I read stories, the more I realize most of us have one thing in common: at some point in our lives during our gaming days we all struggled with Anxiety/Depression and we used games as a "cope" mecanism, I quote COPE cause in reality it never really helped with anything, it would only get us sunk in the very well known cycle of destruction: "I play cause I'm depressed and since I'm depressed I'm going to play to try to forget, repeat", glad to see things are finally coming your way now, only that this time don't try to quit on your own, we'll be around if you need us.

    P.D. I do love watermelon too ;)

  8. Even in the book "Think and Grow Rich" the author talks about how desiring money and believing you'll get it is the key to growing rich. I figure I can apply this to a business.

    ?I beg to differ a little about this view, money doesn't make you rich, finding a passion and living happily off of it, does. just my two cents.

  9. I think you need to sit down for a few mins and try to recap what could be the root cause of why you're feeling so down lately, you can't win a battle when you don't know who your enemy is, so try to figure out what it is, and if you can't maybe we can help, who knows, but don't feel bad about yourself, as long as you're alive there will always be another chance to try again, so it's good.

  10. Hiya bro, welcome aboard

    You are not alone my friend, use this law of attraction that people say, i did and it works!!

    Also it would be a good option to start with a hobby, that involves meeting other people majorly and why not a lot of women. Dancing is a choice that covers these aspects + by selecting a dance you would enjoy more, gives you an energy dose of life by itself

    I speak from experience here

    Anyway whatever you need, you can be the one asking for help this time, if it is in my power I'll get it done ;)


    ?Thanks, although I'm much more of a fan of singing but I guess I can give it a try, haha!

  11. Talking to my wife about quitting games. She really didn't really make a big deal out of it. She said she's always proud of me. I'm glad.

    I don't think she has yet realized the HUGE impact this is going to have (or more like already having) in your life and in your family, but later she will, and I'm sure she'll let you know B|

    1. The farmer's market!!! I got some exciting veggies!
    2. The food trucks at the farmer's market!
    3. The new stroller my wife got. It was such a nice thing to push around the farmer's market.
    4. My wife! She already got the food and was waiting patiently for me by the time I got to the farmer's market.
    5. Seeing nice people I haven't seen for a while at the farmer's market.
    6. The real maple ice cream with maple brittle at the farmer's market.
    7. Free samples at the farmer's market!
    8. The weather was excellent at the farmer's market.
    9. My baby was so happy to be at the farmer's market.
    10. I have plan's to go to a new farmer's market on Sunday!

    I would have just copy/pasted "farmer's market" to finish this list faster, that is of course, assuming you didn't do it already xD!

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