jazzfelix

Hi Josh, I did only quit for 8 months, not 7 years. Then I started again for about a month. I could not tell my girlfriend either (we are not married, but have a child). She did not realise that I was gaming again I think and it was just for about 2 hours a week. But it was increasing. The last week was more than 16 hours in total. I did not want to and felt guilty. I never promised to stop though. This makes a difference, but I still felt really bad about myself. During the 7 months quitting I was thinking about gaming a lot. Perhaps even every other day. What now completely destroyed every feeling to have to game again was a Zen Sesshin I attended for a week. When I was there it did not feel as if this could help. On the contrary. I thought about gaming a lot and somehow even came to the conclusion that I could play games when I returned and it would not even be any problem. I was kind of confused. My analytical mind told me that this should be dangerous but my feeling was that it was right. When I came back the first thing I did was to play one of my favourite games. I did so for 2 minutes then I stopped and started to prepare my computer for Ebay. I was simply shocked by the violence in the game and the unmanagable cognitive load. I was annoyed by the advertisements I was shown before I could play. And I was not able to enjoy this artificial world at all. Now this feeling of wanting to play might come back someday in the future. But if it gets very strong, I will just sit with it and practice Zazen for many hours a day. I might even take a couple days of Zazen. After I will play a game and I will know that I do not want to. I am living in Germany too by the way. If you want, I can help you find a monastery to learn about Zazen. xD

TLDR: I can recommend something like a silence retreat or a time off in a monastery. I attended a Zen Sesshin and that was the only thing that really helped me despite fighting my gaming addiction for 8 months. I was addicted to gaming, not to gambling. I also lost my job. I got a new one though. But it was much worse than the old job. When I quit gaming I started reading a book called "Think like a monk". This helped a lot to stop gaming. But I could not really quit. I was constantly drawn back. I did not play for more than 8 months but I did think of gaming nearly every day. Then I started playing just about 2 hours a week again for about one month. It felt managable but I also wanted to get rid of it somehow and felt a little guilty. I did not know how to really quit and stop the thinking about games. I took part in many activities as substitutes for gaming. I also started gardening and went out to nature a lot. Being there reminded me of the beauty of some games and how exciting they felt compared to what I experienced in the real world. When I started my gaming pause I did also start meditating every week for like 2 hours. That somehow brought me in contact with Zazen. I did not try Zazen. It is not exactly a meditation. It is similar though. I thought I needed real meditation and Zazen would not help me. Now in my holidays I attended a Zen Sesshin for one week. I was practicing Zazen there for more than 10 hours a day. Surprisingly it was never boring. Only when I had a break. The breaks were boring. I did have many thoughts about gaming during the Sesshin. I also was sure that this Sesshin would not help me at all to quit gaming. In my head I was revisiting some of my gaming experiences and was really excited to play some games when the Sesshin would be over. I wanted to reward myself for being so disciplined for the whole week. As I came home the first thing I did was starting my computer and start my game launcher. I was disgusted by all the advertisements and was now extremely excited to play one of my favourite games. And so I did - for 2 minutes. Then I shut down the computer and prepared it for Ebay. I was simply shocked by what I was seeing there: All the violence and the sheer unmanagable amount of cognitive load. Also I saw that this virtual world was absolutely malfunctioning. It was just a really bad copy of the real world. I looked out of the window and was amazed of the beauty of nature compared to what I just saw in the video game. I could not understand why I was never able to see all that before. During the Sesshin nothing really happened. But when I came back my senses felt extremely sharpened. I was able to solve some of my problems I was not able to solve in years. I suddenly have really good ideas and can approach problems much better than ever before. Also my job seems to be much more interesting. I don't know how this works and there is probably a scientific explanation. But I don't care about that. Now after 10 months struggling I finally am completely fine and happy to never play games again. I happily deleted my steam account and sold my computer.

Hi Dr. Gamer, my own story is similar but I have yet to write it down. I did achieve some things in life but I am way behind my own expectations. I consider this a good thing though because I have dreams, things I can keep myself busy with. I played D2 with passion and was/am addicted. I also know by now I can do the other things I like with the same passion. I am on about day 80 of my detox. Today I am ill and was staying at home. I nearly started to play. I asked myself though: what can I achieve in 1 hour of gameplay on my D2R account? I weighed it against what I could achieve during 1 hour slow mo cleaning my room. Guess what felt better! 🙂 I don't think I could have done this half a year ago. What really helps me is daily meditation. I do this every day since I stopped gaming. One meditation I do every sunday is visualise myself as my best self. This really keeps me on track. What I saw during meditation and how I felt there was impressive. It is something which I maybe never achieve but by constant diligent effort I might get close. I do a lot of other practises too. I learned that for me gaming is a strategy to hide anxieties and avoid dealing with stress. It is the same when an ostrich sticks his head into the sand. Its not a solution to a problem. The problem will get worse on the contrary. I will keep practising and try to find out as much as possible about how to sustainably stop gaming. I searched the web for that many times and did quit often but always relapsed. One of my goals now is to become a guide/mentor for game quitters. Which time zone do you live in? And when is your free time? Maybe we can have a chat and support each other. 😉

Thank you for sharing your story! It helps me a lot to understand my own problems. Quitting games is hurtful for me too. It feels like emptying myself to a point where nothing more is left. On the other hand it is like making space for new things. The emptyness is frightening but I know it will make space for new opportunities and there will be ways to fill the gap hopefully more mindfully. I wish you all the best!