[No useless videos for 90 days.]

 Day 15 - Don't think I had cravings today to watch useless videos. On the other hand I feel like I'm devoting too little time to my marketing project. 
I have a prior 90 day challenge that I have started(Only eating food I bought - Now 77 days. So I've been thinking once I reach that I might eat a fruit salad to celebrate, Not sure if I would want to break it after completing 90, most probably not.
Sticking to food schedule or less Day 13 - Today I lost sense of time as a bike courier and accidentally started eating dinner at 01:40 am approx. for that reason tomorrow I'll have to obstain from dinner 😞

(That is 02.10's post which didn't get posted for some reason, I just post it from the recovered clipboard.)

[My Journal]

20 hours ago, purpleluke said:

I'm feeling a bit tired today, I've only been getting around 3 hours sleep a night lately. But trying to stay positive. Will update more later 😊

Why 3 hours of sleep?

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 14 - Many strong cravingss for both routines. Which happened every time I was before focusing on the marketing project. Still overcame it. A lot thanks to you

 

sticking to food schedule Day 12 - batch cooked dinner for a week again. Proud of myself. Still treating food as an escape about which I think all the time and waiting for.

[My Journal]

8 hours ago, purpleluke said:

I had a really bad panic attack during the night last night - I think it may have been a side effect from the meds. I've also been getting a lot of nausea. 

I've been keeping myself busy today and mostly been practicing my writing - I really enjoy it. I already read a lot and writing feels really natural (although it may be a load of rubbish!)

I wouldn't say I've specifically had any cravings for games, but if the consoles had been there, this would have been the sort of time I'd probably have caved in. I'm proud that I didn't.

Awesome job! Keep it up!

 

On 9/29/2022 at 3:58 PM, Paul A. said:

Taking care of yourself is so important! Glad you’re putting your own well-being first

I disagree. I find those medications as symptom treating, and distracting you from solving the problem at the core.
That's not to speak about all the side-effects that this chemistry has on your body

[My Journal]

14 hours ago, purpleluke said:

I've started taking  my medication again today on the advice of a GP. My motivation levels are super low right now and I've definitely had some cravings. I'm taking some time off work to help me  heal as that is a huge trigger for me at the moment.

Luckily I have no access to consoles and I'm going to try and push myself to get out of the house as much as I can.

GP stands for General Practitioner? And what kind of medication are you refering to?

[My Journal]

On 9/20/2022 at 3:20 PM, purpleluke said:

Today is my first full day since I decided to quit.

I talked in my intro post how my gaming got so bad that I was even doing it while I was meant to be working.

I want to go cold turkey on gaming so this morning I went and sold all my consoles. I am probably going to use the money so that me & my boyfriend can go away for a night or two when we're off together, as spending more time with him is one of my goals from quitting.

I also spent some time cooking, cleaning and buying groceries.

I really want to get back into cooking and as I make my way through the respawn course, I would also love to get into writing stories (I already read quite a bit)

Yesterday evening I had that adrenalin feeling of not being quite "there" - it's really hard to describe but other people may understand. I'm not sure if it was a craving but it would make sense if it was. Today I've had that feeling a bit but keeping busy helps a lot! 

Generally sounds like a plan.  What do you mean by being quite there?

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

20 hours ago, Lemynaded said:

Wait, hold on, did I read that correctly, you sleep 3 hours a day?

I do not do that continuously, but I have yesterday. Usually I aim for 8. in reality - the day before that I slept 07h 07m and the day before 07h 30m approximately

Day 13 - Found a way to delete my Steam account, but have to wait 30 days 'till it will be permanent. 
But the game that I had most cravings for when I relapsed is actually samp. But they're on my old phone which I'll need to buy a new charger to turn on. So for now just that will do I guess. If I ever get a charger (I'll need to cause I have lots of photos and data on that phone) I hope I'll find the courage to remove the passes
Day 11 (Food schedule) - Combined lunch and dinner again to go to sleep earlier, but that was planned in advance. 

P.S. feeling like I'm working a bit too little on the marketing project 😞 (2.5 hrs today)
 

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 12 - Today has gone relatively well, I did 3.5 hrs of concentrated work, and deviated from my general weekly schedule only by about an hour.
Dreading the short sleep time I've scheduled for myself ( about 3 hrs ) and the 5 hour workout that follows. Hope I'll survive X-X
Day 10 Sticking to food schedule - Thinking it could have been cool to eat and not ride on a bike straight away, nonetheless sticking to schedule one more day 🙂 

[For myself]

9 hours ago, LostRiver said:

ITAA meet

- Signs of a functioning addict: self-neglect, unable to surrender/ change, double life

- Some days I will make excuses to not come to meetings: time spent in meetings is NEVER WASTED. I don't have to abandon any responsibilities to join meeting. As I listen to people's sharing, I can learn and reflect and take accountability and recover.

- My default mode is trying to do things alone and not/ unable to ask for help. Then when things fall apart, get upset and go back to using. I should accept myself, ask for help at work, in life and attend regular meeting + get a sponsor to find a safe space to look at my defects and address them. Be with loved ones help too.

- Step 6: my defects weaken me with their demands. My grief of wasted youth, squandered opportunities never stop yelling at me to go fix the past. Of course I cannot. Thus I go back into using/ binging. I need to remember that I cannot even change my life now, and I need to turn my life over to 12 steps and my Higher Power.

Amen. To make mistakes is human. To forgive is godly, and that includes forgiving yourself.

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 11 - Didn't feel any significant youtube video cravings today. Maybe because I worked very little on my project (barely two hours, half an hour of which was accompanied with eating....)
Day 9 (Sticking to food schedule) - Cramped up lunch and dinner today so that I could go to sleep earlier. But still going strong, thank you everyone!!! 

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 10 - After being awake for 20 hours feeling that I'm huting my health, and cravings to play hit me. 
But as yoda would say: "Still strong I am"
Day 8 (Sticking to food schedule) - Ate some of the food of lunch at breakfast time today. While overall food was not gone over the top it is still a bad sign and should be stoped

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 9 - I usually have a 4 hour bike delivery in my routine, but today it was a holiday and I could only do deliveries up to 15:00
Decided to finally prioritize it differently.
Number 1: Health
Number 2: My marketing project
Number 3: Extra money (Generally for move to Spain)
Eventually I completed only 8 pomodoros, when planned 12. 
I also started from the pomodoros, and eventually when feeling sleepy just droped into bed and slept for 4 hours. Then ate dinner, made some more pomodoros and slept further, with delaying the workout I had to do to the morning.

That's what happens when you try to live up to your values.
For now it was a one time thing and today I'll work 8 hours on bike instead of 4. Guess I'm still not ripe enough to act to my values and want to stick to my old routine (Working 4 hours, and not doing the 6 hours on my marketing project as I really want to)

Sticking to schedule day 7 - One more day saved thanks to you guys 🙂 I even ate at 23:15 instead of working out because I didn't want to slip with the meal after 00:00 and then have no dinner today 🙂

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 8 - Have been reactive today on the morning and became angry as a result. Which in turn caused anxiety, when feeling anxiety I had cravings to watch some game videos, but I remembered that I will have to tell you guys about it and it stopped me. Thank you for being here to the reader, and thank you Cam for this platform!
Day 6 Sticking to food schedule - I measured my meal times today with the batch cooked food - takes me 1 hr in breakfast 1 hr at lunch and 1 hr at morning, will see If and how I can improve it.

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 7 - In the evening when back from work, I've had small cravings to check what the status of the servers of a game I played, and whether it has high online.
Nonetheless it is still quite weak
Day 5 Sticking to food schedule - still strong! Also batch cooked dinner, Broccoli+Spinach+dates+rice.
And got boxes to store it in the freezer instead of putting it in the pots and taking the place of half the freezer, I guess they just need washing now before using.
Tomorrow will wash and update 🙂

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 6 - Visited my mom today for her bday and helped brother setup his computer and handed over my minecraft account this is the closest I have been to gaming for a lot of time, I still do feel some small nostalgia, but I believe it's quite weak.
Day 4 sticking to food schedule - Damn I'm adding too much to my workouts... I find myself in a situation where I devote twice a week 5 hours to workouts and the other days I work as a bicycle courier for at least 4 hours. (7 on weekend) I'm pretty sure this 500 calorie addition is not going to be enough. Just hope that I won't disappear until next two week food plan =/

[For myself]

6 hours ago, LostRiver said:

I actually made it out clean yesterday: attended an ITAA meeting, celebrated 60 days game free - read a bit then went to bed.

Thanks for the reminder @Yan. I've been down the road too long , sometimes I cannot remind myself about that

What does ITAA stand for? 
60 days free? Awesome!!!!! at 90 perhaps celebrate it in some way 🙂

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 5 - Some small cravings, especially when thinking that tomorrow I will go to celebrate my mom's birthday and perhaps give my brother my minecraft account and help connect his new gaming computer, but they're quite weak.
Sticking to food schedule day 3 - In the evening still some cravings, but generally sticking to it... Feeling a bit weak, but I wonder if it's my mind playing with me or it's really the being underweight effect.

By the way I'm pretty active physically so that's why I've been eating 3300 calories a day and still losing weight... Hope that this increase to about 3900 is gonna at least stop the weight loss, although I doubt it.

[For myself]

On 9/19/2022 at 4:58 PM, LostRiver said:

Short note: after spending a total of 18 hours on the phone last three days, I lost motivation and was groggy as fuck on Monday morning. I was lucky it was a slow day at work.

Life got better that I'm off gaming but I'm losing the battle against my phone. 

Plan for tomorrow: once I got back from work, if I'm on time, I will read books. I have a list of books that I like. Then I will attend the ITAA meeting.

If I'm late, I will eat quitely then join the meeting, then read the books.

I will order some good food so I can eat alone and enjoy the experience: no fatty food tho.

I will go straight to prayer tonight and next morning about staying clean tomorrow night because I know my plans alone are highly likely to fail. May higher power help me.

Don't forget the only truth. It is poison. Our days are numbered! Use them so that you wouldn't regret anything on your death bed! No matter what happens, just remember this simple truth, and with time you will prevail, as long as you don't lie to yourself and start justifying this behavior

[For myself]

On 4/17/2022 at 7:35 AM, LostRiver said:

I joined this site on 2017. Did not stick

Came back on and off, quitting never stick

But now I really want to quit to grow in the job I like and have more friends plus live a more fulfilling life

Hope I can give and find support to complete this journey

To myself later on and whoever read this note: Good luck, keep hope alive and I love you, you deserve all the better things in life

Mr. Goggins. Is awesome! Appreciate anyone who appreciates him 🙂 Keep at it bro!!!!!!!

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 4 - Having thought about whether I should really delete my Steam account, which I didn't touch for more than 5 years aswell as my Minecraft account which I also didn't touch about the same period of time..
Especially since my little brother just got a new gaming computer, and I've been thinking of handing it down to him.


(No going over food schedule day 2) - Today it has come to my attention that I'm terribly underweight. 
Height 174 cm Weight 51.9 kg.
I was already underweight, 54.5, the last time I measured, but this is a new record.

That doesn't mean I am to renag on this commitment.

I will just adjust the schedule and weight myself again in two weeks(Adding dates and avocado, about 500 calories together. Peanut butter was already there, I was just cutting down on it in the last few days because I overate it earlier.

Breakfast:
Orange - 1 piece
Tomato - 1 piece
Cucumber - 1 piece
Tofu - 75 grams
Oatmeal(Dry before cooking) - 50 grams
Soy/oat/almond/alternative milk - 200 ml
Flux seeds - 12 grams
Brazil nuts - 12 grams
Almonds - 25 grams
Sunflower seeds - 25 grams
Bread - 3 pieces (About 90 grams, but may be more or less)
Salt - about 2 grams
Avocado - 100g
Dates - 2-3 units (about 40g)

Lunch:
Banana - 1 piece
Carrot - 2-3 pieces (about 200 grams)
Peas - 100 - 150 grams ( Up to 150 to end the can of 335g )
Cabbage - 35 g
Tofu - 75 g
Red Lentils(dry before cooking) - 70g
Nutritional Yeast - 6 g
Almonds - 25g
Sunflower seeds -25g
Bread - 3 pieces (about 90g)
Peanut Butter - 60g
Dates - 2-3 units (about 40g)

Dinner:
Apple - 1 piece
Cabbage - 35g
Spinach - 100g
Broccoli - 100g
Rice(dry before cooking) - 70g
Tahini - 50g
Salt - 2g
Dates - 2-3 units (about 40g)

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 3 - For now, free of viewing gaming videos or any other useless videos for that matter.
Day 1(Food schedule)
Today I finally managed to completely stick to the food schedule. (I mixed the meals into two, but didn't go over the overall quantity)
Moreover, I go to a library almost everyday to escape the eating urge, and do focused work, and there was food there too... But despite the cravings I withstood it. Yay me 🙂
Attaching pics of the foods in the library

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

22 hours ago, LostRiver said:

Yeah well, my family was poor so I had to befriend my TV/ phone early in life so my parents can work. I also had acute asthma as a child so I can rarely go out

Now, I have learnt to avoid doing it about 50% of the time, starting by learning that I am addicted to that blast of dopamine that eating/ overeating plus watching gaming can bring.

So I started by trying to not watch anything while I eat meals through out the day

But on days that I'm tired from real hard work or emotional distress or whatever, I still do it. The only other silverlining is that I sleep immediately afterwards so my screen time is cut down by a bit

Since this is related to both overeating and technology/phone addiction which develops and takes roots over time, why don't you share your story with us gamequitters. There are others here who struggle the same way too.

Any solution you choose becomes more automatic the more you do it. But my suggestion is not to do it sometimes, because then it doesn't turn into your identity and doesn't become automatic. but rather to stop it completely, because the only way to need less willpower for something is to make it your identity.
Will share in pieces across next days, as this takes lots of time. But thank you very much for your interest!

21 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

Yea I had that problem as well. Well actually it was more like @LostRiver eg eating while watching stuff. I stopped with that a few months ago. Real game changer for me. Before it was always studying alone in front my pc -> having a break in front of my pc -> eating in front of my pc -> repeat

Now its a lot different. Eating in front of a movie etc. is a really bad habit it has a ton of negativ effects. Eating is way more fun in that way which leads you to eat even more usally unhealty stuff. my problem was never the weight, but I still gained a few kgs over the years. But I immediately lost them after I changed that habit(of course also changing the diet in general but you cant just eat a salad in front of your pc, together with the family its a lot of easier)

But if I understood you correctly, your problem is more like eating something and afterwards watching stuff? Usually those things happen simultaneously but it probably doesnt matter I guess

When I messed up my hormones enough I felt satiety and even more desire to do very low impact activities, only then my short-term-pleasures self bypassed my rational self, and i started watching, because otherwise, I never do.

I don't consider it something I want to do in moderation, but not at all. This "Entertainment" is unnecessary in my opinion.

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 2 - Was extremely close to sticking to the food schedule. But slipped away with 5 grams of tahini, which is liquid sesame and once I poured it, it would take too much time to re-cook the meal, so I decided to eat it anyway. So sticking to food schedule is still day 0 😞

In any case here's my planned food schedule until Tuesday, including Tuesday. If need be, will make changes at Tuesday.
Breakfast:
Orange - 1 piece
Tomato - 1 piece
Cucumber - 1 piece
Tofu - 75 grams
Oatmeal(Dry before cooking) - 50 grams
Soy/oat/almond/alternative milk - 200 ml
Flux seeds - 12 grams
Brazil nuts - 12 grams
Almonds - 25 grams
Sunflower seeds - 25 grams
Bread - 3 pieces (About 90 grams, but may be more or less)
Salt - about 2 grams

Lunch:
Banana - 1 piece
Carrot - 2-3 pieces (about 200 grams)
Peas - 100 - 150 grams ( Up to 150 to end the can of 335g )
Cabbage - 35 g
Tofu - 75 g
Red Lentils(dry before cooking) - 70g
Nutritional Yeast - 6 g
Almonds - 25g
Sunflower seeds -25g
Bread - 3 pieces (about 90g)

Dinner:
Apple - 1 piece
Cabbage - 35g
Broccoli - 200g
Rice(dry before cooking) - 70g
Tahini - 50g
Salt - 2g

Also, I decided to batch cook, but more on that tomorrow.

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

9 minutes ago, LostRiver said:

Hi man, damn that's my vice too. The best part of my day used to be getting back from work then ordering some fatty food to gorge down while watching gaming or other stuffs on Youtube. Sometimes on the weekend I would do that all night!

And I have been doing that for more than 20 years! It nearly ruined me too.

Glad to have you here, keep coming back

 

Sounds horrible... How are you doing with it now?

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Day 1 - I have decided yesterday after writing the first post to start eating within the food schedule I've defined or less (which is something I used to do but slid away from)
Nonetheless, because of the desire to save time, I ended up cooking lentils instead of balancing it with tofu. I didn't even notice until I already started cooking it... by then it was too late... Well, Tomorrow is a new day 🙂

Sticking to food schedule Day 0, starting now.