Day -1, preparation
Morning was pretty great went cycling for 4h to prepare for biking trip
Middays are tiring and I start closing myself off which is really bad but often just leads to some wasted time
Afternoon was quite good managed to organice my day go to the library and hanged out with a friend for a while
The early night was decent, even though I managed to finally cook a new weird recipe I spent to much time looking at videos and almost burnt my food
The night was bad lately I had been getting better in terms of decreasing the time I spent on the internet and going to bed earlier today I was no longer the case I ended up sinking into a 2-3h binge and relapsing on some of my other more minor addictions
I have dealt with this situation before I know that staying up and being harsh on myself for this slip up won't let me deal with it better taking action has always been a better idea, maybe just journaling whenever it happens can be a solution, it helped this time, but it feels very discouraging to have had an opportunity to resist the cravings and gain a lot of momentum from them. Guess I'll need to work on my mindset, with my track record of bad experiences with the internet and lost opportunities because of it I can't go around not fully believing that I can do it or not fully committing to the process of quitting It would just prolong the suffering waste more opportunities and make the process just that much more complicated.
But yeah habits, managing expectations, deciding what is allowed and for which reasons and pulling through with everything I say I am going to do are the things I need to absolutely focus on, specially the last one this is a mental battle and I can't say I'm already defeated before I even started