nils

22nd of April: Same result as yesterday. I am still failing at the first half of the day. Woke up at 9.30 as intendet, but made it out of bed 30 min later. The biggest issue here is my smartphone and YT that keep me busy until the late night. So my only plan left for today will be: Turn the phone off before bedtime! And I still cannot relax by doing music or fitness because I still have the inflammation in my arms. That really sucks. Maybe instead of Youtube, reading, going for a walk or just listen to an audio book would be possible alternatives. I reconsidered my plan once more because the citizens' center would close at 12 on Friday, and I was already late. So still no license. It is not a task I need to do immediately, but having it done in the next week is a must for me because I have failed on that too often now. Had a big breakfast, chilled a little (again Youtube, my weak point atm), then went to the clinic at 13.30. Started learning at 14.15, spent time in the seminar room until 8 p.m. But with some breaks, a short walk included. Also a friend called me at 7 p.m., so I spent an hour on the phone. This is quality time though, so its fine. In total, I studied 3 hours and 20 min. Didnt stretch nor listened to any podcasts. I will stretch before bedtime. Now I will prepare dinner and fold my laundry afterwards. I wont structure my day for tomorrow in detail this time, my only task will be: staying up until 9.30 and not procrastinating immediately after breakfast. If that is done, the day will be already won. __________ Today is day 35 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

21st of April: I failed on the first half of the day again because I stood up too late. My morning routine is not working atm it seems so I need to find a solution for that. Maybe planning more realistically by not putting too many tasks on my schedule early in the morning is the way to go. We'll see, I have to figure something out. Because of that, I readjusted my time schedule. I skipped breakfast because it was too late. Made early lunch instead at 11.30 and planned to learn from 12 o clock to 2 p.m. I only managed to study for 45 minutes though due to procrastination. 😬 Did some laundry during the break. From 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. I went for my coffee appointment, it was a really nice time with good communication. I still struggle with smalltalk, especially when talking to people that I dont know well and that I have just met recently. But I think I managed to not behave awkwardly. Afterwards, I did some more laundry, then headed towards the clinic. Started to study there from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m., only had a 45 min break (stretching + listening to 3 short GTS podcasts). So I learned about 4 hours today which is a slightly better result than yesterday. At the end of the session, I did some repetition of already learned medical topics. I found that I was able to remember a lot, which is kind of relieving. You often forget a lot of stuff because you have to remember so many facts in a short time as a medical student. I just had a nice salad, now I am relaxing a little bit. I want to learn for another 30 minutes afterwards, but it would be better to go to bed early, I think. My plans for tomorrow: waking up at 9.30 (more realistic atm) showering + breakfast finally getting that license from the citizens' center lunch (finished 2 p.m. at the latest) going to the clinic, study session until 20 p.m. with breaks for coffee, stretching, GTS podcasts returning home, dinner, chilling or studying ( depends on how motivated I will still be after the learning day) Didnt mention the highlight of the day yet: My Riot account got deleted!! Just received a message from Riot Games. This is a huge step for me! It is necessary to increase friction when it comes to my LoL cravings. It is harder to fall for cravings when you dont have a high level account with lots of skins and data of your gaming results, like a ranking for example. Its all gone now! If I want to play again I need to start from the bottom by creating a new account after downloading the game. This would take a few steps during which I could rethink any relapse attempts I might take. But I am not willing to take them. I dont want to live through such a situation ever again 🙂 __________ Today is day 34 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

Learned for another 30 - 40 minutes now. So barely 3 hours today in total. Tomorrow needs to be better. I post my schedule here so the chance is higher that I will stick to it: waking up: 8:45 breakfast, then going to the clinic (I plan to be there until 10 a.m.) study session 1 (until 12:45) walking back to my home, preparing and eating lunch 2 p.m. coffee with a friend (until 4 p.m. at the latest) going to the clinic again, study session 2 (until 8 p.m.) moving home, dinner, time for stretching, relaxing, maybe some repetition of learned stuff going to bed (until midnight at the latest)

20th of April: Today I didnt perform well. Got out of bed at 10 a.m., had breakfast (selfmade porridge --> oatflakes, milk, bananas, cinnamon), then procrastinated a lot. I deactivated DF Youtube yesterday because I wanted to see some classical music recommendations. Didnt turn it on afterwards because I forgot. So I fell for the YT feed today (ofc I didnt reactivate the add-on immediately, I was too weak it seemed ... ). Watched stupid videos with content I am not even very much interested in. Like the Johnny Depp process against Amber Heard, for example. But things get way more interesting when the alternative is studying, dont they? 😅 Prepared my seminar for an hour, learned with my co-examinees from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. Then procrastinated for another 3 hours after having lunch. Today really was my weakest performance since starting this journal. The problem was I didnt leave home today because I had to be at home for the seminar at 1 p.m. Tomorrow I will 100% leave my house and go to the clinic's seminar rooms again. Even learning medicine with only my papers and my smartphone while hearing music on Spotify will lead to more success than sitting in front of my home PC. Too many distractions. Turned DF Youtube on again ofc. At 7 p.m. I listened to an interesting international lecture about sports nutrition. Got reassured that following a plant-based diet is the way to go. Walked 1 hour afterwards. Now I will at least start the diabetes chapter and see how far I can go before preparing for bed. __________ Today is day 33 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deletion expected in the next days.

Now I am in the mood for trying out new recipes, haha 😄 Thanks for the inspiration. I used to eat microvave-steemed frozen veggies with lowfat quark in the past to increase protein intake without the need of taking supplements when working out. Atm I dont do much fitness because of my recent forearm issues and my exams. But I try to integrate enough motion in my daily routine. When it comes to food, I am not able to moderate, same as gaming 😉 So the best way for me is to stop buying unhealthy foods in the first place. I get cravings from time to time for ice cream especially, but only when I fall for the stupid idea of buying food in the supermarket with an empty stomach 😄

Or maybe he didnt find the time to write yet and therefore didnt answer immediately? But if he is just ignoring you now, he is not worth it in my opinion. Good nonetheless, that you have written him!

Good to see you realized that your friend can be a trigger that draws you into gaming. Asking him to stop sending gaming news might be the way to go. You dont need to cut the connection if it is important for you. You both can still be friends if he means something to you. Good luck on your journey! 🙂

19th of April: Again I struggled with getting out of bed early. It is mainly because of my routine in the evening. I am staying up too late and have my smartphone near me because I normally listen to some podcast, music or I watch videos for entertainment. That is something I need to work on. Besides that, I realized that learning home is definitely not the way at the moment. In my shared flat there are way too many people going in and out. One of my flatmates also needs to learn for the exam and invited friends to learn with on a daily basis, but the group doesnt fit me so I decided to learn alone besides my online group meetings. My room is also not designed for studying, it is too dark and small. And my PC provides too many distractions which is why I learned at the clinic's seminar rooms more often in the last weeks. I am working on the extension of my account. Will call the IT service tomorrow and got some information from a member of the clinic today which person I need to address. I learned 1 hour effectively after lunch, then - after a lot of ineffective learning and procrastination - decided that I cannot focus at home. So I went on a walk to the clinic again, luckily I was able to use another person's account. Studied from 5 p.m. to 22.20 with short breaks and no other distractions. Worked really well. I am glad that I turned this day around. I should feel proud but atm I feel more stressed than relieved. My tendovaginits is still not fine but it starts to get better slowly. I also listened to another episode of the Games Quitters podcast today. In this episode, the importance of journaling and meditation got reinforced. I tried meditation a few times in my life but either I had the wrong approach or it just isnt for me. But journaling still helps a lot. Even if noone reads these entries here I feel like I would let the community down if I started gaming LoL again. I think about the game rarely these days. Maybe it is because of the exam, but I also dont feel any excitement or happiness when thoughts about LoL pop up in my head. I just want to get rid of it now. But I checked my op.gg - account info today in order to see if my account is still online because I recieved no mails from Riot so far concerning the deletion. My account is still there. My last games even were insane when it came to KDA: 21/6/20, 19/9/15, 14/9/31, 36/14/24, 12/8/22, 13/2/12, 13/3/12 and so on ... BUT: I performed well in my last games and STILL deleted it after like 7 wins in a row. This shows me that I didnt enjoy it anymore in the end. And no matter how often I win and how good I perform, that doesnt help me with dealing with my real life issues. It doesnt help me with getting REAL confidence, not just some pseudo-feeling of power in a virtual environment. I want more than this. A month without LoL feels so much better, I see things clearer now. This happened to me twice in the past: when I did my 2 previous detox attempts. I think I can make it past the 72-74 days mark. With the right attitude, a strong will and some healthy habits to replace gaming with. __________ Today is day 32 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Only a couple of days left before my Riot account deletion (hopefully Riot delivers and REALLY delets it ... ). I also havent bought unhealthy food, especially added sugars, in the last 2-3 weeks.

18th of April: Stood up late, had breakfast, telephoned with my grandparents, went to the clinic. Unfortunately, my clinical internship account got blocked by the IT system because I am not working there anymore. So I wont be able to log in and learn in the seminar rooms from now on 😕 I will try to reach out for the IT support and ask for an extension. Otherwise, I will have to learn at home or in a library. Returned home, learned there in the afternoon. In the evening, my sister and some friends came and we had dinner. I didnt feel too motivated today and had a lack of concentration, but I tried my best to learn stuff. Tomorrow will be another day and another chance. __________ Today is day 31 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL.

Thanks, A! Glad to here I can be a motivation for you. Keep going, I am sure, you will reach that goal, too 🙂

17th of April: I dont write much today. My arms got inflamed now due to physical overload so I shouldnt stress them more by typing. Learned 5 hours in the seminar rooms today. Just returned home and made some tomato soup, will relax now. Had a nice Easter breakfast in the morning, listened to a lot of classical music and walked 45 minutes today. By the way, happy Easter everyone! 🙂 __________ Today is day 30 of my gaming detox. Reached one third of the 90 days 🙂 No cravings for LoL.

Hey Salem, welcome to the forum and thanks for your introduction! 🙂 There are not THAT many people around here at the moment, thats true. But a lot of members post something from time to time or read some posts of others. I can really recommend starting your own journal because it helps getting your thoughts in order and also leads to an accountability to the forum which helps with avoiding gaming and staying true to your plans and commitments. I guess, once you start to focus more on offline activities and you get to turn your life around, it is normal that you spend less time in this forum 😉 This is a point worthy to think about. What is it that makes you stick to games like LoL besides escapism? I was a LoL player since season 1/2, so I know how addictive this game can be. Maybe some of my thoughts in my introduction post or some posts of others might help you. I know it takes some courage to get rid of your account since you have so many memories attached to it and also spent a lot of time leveling up and get trophies, skins etc. But if you really want to quit League for good, abstinence is the way to go, I fear, unless you are one of the people that can play in moderation (its hard though). You could for example uninstall the game and delete the Youtube or the search bar feed in your browser that contains LoL content, as a first step to get the triggers out of the way. If it is about the money you spent on skins, you can also try to sell your account online and get some money back. I had several accounts which I deleted again after some weeks / months, and from my experience you feel a lot better when being away from this game for a while and starting new or old hobbies. Learning a new language or going to the gym is a nice way to start! See if it works out for you. I cant give you good advise here, since I didnt have a lot of friends that were gaming. But in the forum's discussion area you may find some help and new perspectives. Cam Adair, the founder of this forum, also created some youtube videos on his channel Game Quitters regarding how to deal with gaming friends when quitting. In my opinion, if your friends are true friends, they will understand and respect your wish of playing less / quitting. You also might look out for new people that share some healthier interests with you. That doesnt mean you have to let your friends down ofc, but spending more time with people that can support you on your way might be helpful. Good luck on your journey! Keep us updated 🙂

16th of April: Today was completely filled with family time 🙂 It was a nice day. We went to a fine restaurant, played games in the afternoon and had a great chocolate biscuit. I just arrived at my flat, bought food for Easter in the supermarket and - most importantly - just sent a mail to my tutor because of my medical thesis. This took some courage but I asked her for a meeting in person so we can discuss some aspects of my thesis. I know I didnt make a huge progress but I included some time for working on it in my schedule before the meeting. Just got an automatic email back from my tutor: not available until end of April due to vacation. Yikes! I will need to try it again in a week, but at least I dealt with this problem before Easter. Tomorrow will be a normal day of studying for me. I really want to go bouldering again but my right hand is not fine due to physical overload so I still need to rest. I realized, though I have done mostly fine concerning my time management since I started journaling, I am still not in a good mental state. My self-confidence is on a low point again. I havent cried in years, but especially after the divorce of my parents and after I have realized my addiction problem years ago, I feel like I am about to cry more often these days. I read on the CGAA website that it is a possible symptom of withdrawal. The amount of the mistakes I did in the past overbears me from time to time. I know for sure that I am on the right way. But it is still a long way to go. I start to improve my habits day by day, with some not so strong days like yesterday for example. I wrote entries in my journal on a consistent basis so far and it is a good opportunity to improve my English (grammarwise). I struggle a little bit with prepositions and other stuff, I hope you forgive me my mistakes and these entries are readable. So, in short: Some good things are happening right now, accompanied by weaker mental days. I guess this is a common loop during a detox. What else? I found that I sent my Riot account deletion request on the 22nd of March. It takes Riot 30 days to delete the account, but 5 days before the deadline there will be no opportunity to stop the deletion process. So if I am right, this will be tomorrow. I will check my mail account the next days and see if I will receive a respective mail from Riot Games. I am really looking forward to this day. I could create new accounts after the deletion, and so I did in the past. But that takes a few steps. And I am really aware of my situation, the will to get rid of LoL is stronger this time. I havent played other games during the beginning of my current detox besides playing an oldschool RPG for 2 hours. I wont say I will never play video games again in my life, but I rather doubt I will put a lot of time in this hobby in my future. Firstly, because I wont HAVE the time for gaming due to working as a young doctor. Secondly, because I choose the games I might play CAREFULLY nowadays. And I give ONLINE games a wide berth because I know about the addictive potential. Thirdly, because I replaced gaming with hobbies that fulfill the needs I tried to satisfy with gaming. Enough for today. I have to admit I didnt make it through that hour I wanted to study yesterday evening 😅 And this day has almost ended. So tomorrow is the day of days! Until then, have a good night 🙂 __________ Today is day 29 of my gaming detox. No cravings for playing LoL so far.

15th of April: I didnt find the focus today. Stood up at 10 a.m., had lunch at 12.00, prepared my seminar which started at 1 p.m. Learned 2 hours with my co-examinees. Afterwards, I procrastinated a lot unfortunately. Watched some boulder content. And also some Elden Ring content which I now regret because I lost some hours by watching gameplay content. Besides LoL I have played some single-player RPG games in the past, but I do not get addicted to them or have problems with craving. Today the thought "buy Elden Ring on steam" popped up in my head but only for a short moment. I think it was because I felt too comfortable today. It is not the time to start a new game since I have to deal with an exam and my thesis. So I washed this thought away and moved on. Rode my bycicle in the afternoon, then had dinner. Tomorrow I am with my family, so I wont be able to learn much. I really need to make progress during Eastern since I didnt do all of my tasks today. I will try to learn for at least 1 hour this evening, so this day is not a complete miss. Maybe yesterday was a bit too much. But I cannot afford cheat days in the future tbh. __________ Today is day 28 of my gaming detox.

14th of April: Learned nearly 7 hours today! I am exhausted now and have a slight headache. Not all minutes spent on learning were used well or were used with a focused mind. But still, I did well, I think. Over the day I convinced myself several times to do a little bit more even when I wanted to do a break. For example, I studied from 10.30 to 3 p.m. (before: stood up at 9 a.m., had breakfast with my flat members) and wanted to have lunch at 13.30 but the teacher for our clinical internship seminar just arrived and the topic was interesting so I decided to stay in the seminar until 3 p.m. I am not quite sure about my learning techniques though. In the end what counts is how much I cam remember in the exam and not how many hours I spent on learning. Studying medicine means you have to memorize a lot, and I mean A LOT!! Atm I am reading a lot but with little repetition or verbalization (which is important to practice for the verbal exam). But I dont feel like I will make it through all the important topics if I dont read that much. I also learn with my group members twice a week, so I get the verbalization part from there. Nonetheless, I still had some breaks. Decided to do a walk outside after lunch. I needed a bigger break today after 3 p.m. during which I listened to a Game Quitters Podcast. Learned something about the pomodoro technique and tried it out in my evening session. Found it to be really useful, I was able to learn the same amount of facts in less time. Started my next study session at 17.30. Then learned until 19.45. I have one topic left for this evening, but I really need a break now. Besides studying, my mood was ambivalent today. Had to think a lot about my medical thesis. I should really reach out to my tutor but I am frightened because I havent contacted her for months now. And in the past I let her down like I let myself down because of gaming too much instead of making progress within my thesis. Atm I really dont have space left for that, the exam is more important now. I fear the moment where I have to admit to my tutor that I almost did no real progress in the last months. I will have to deal with that problem right after eastern or I will be stressed out and worried for the rest of the month. __________ Today is day 27 of my gaming detox. 1 week until Riot account deletion. Still no cravings for LoL. Also my time on Youtube has decreased significantly and I dont browse mindlessly for hours anymore.

13th of April: I better dont talk about today's morning 😅 (ok, I do it anyway). Timer rang at 7.30, but I found that I still struggle with getting out of bed early and on time. Today I stood up at 10 a.m. Didnt stick to the plan with the citizens' center, I will need to do that tomorrow or next week. Went to the supermarket, had breakfast, watched some bouldering content, then headed towards the clinic where I had lunch. Afterwards, I studied at the seminar rooms for 2,5 hours (12.10 - 14.45). Did some posture routine, then returned home for my two meetings. Had a nice first meeting with one of my examiners, the 2nd examiner didnt make it in time so we will need to find another day for that meeting. Had another lecture about nutritional medicine that has just finished. I will now drive to the seminar rooms again for another 1,5 - 2 hours of studying. I started to have fun at learning again and I see the exam as a challenge now rather than a threat of failing. Conclusion of the day: - need to improve getting out of bed in time or I can throw my plans for the forenoon away - I am still in a good mood, studying starts to be fun, I stay disciplined and dont waste too much time - no cravings, no desire to play LoL Today is day 26 of my gaming detox. About 8-10 days left until Riot account deletion.

Just returned from the clinic. Learned another 3,5 hours this evening. I am not proud of my behaviours in the last 3-4 years but since the last week I finally stop feeling like a piece of sh*t. The accountability of journal does its magic and I feel more disciplined than before. Thinking about the last week I also wasted much less time as usual. The last days passed without any cravings. Sticking to a made-up plan and time schedule feels very efficient. Its like I replaced my old addiction for LoL with a new addiction for living a healthy, organized and colorful life 🙂 But I should take precautions against a possible relapse, just in case. At the moment, I make good usage of that gained momentum. I am aware of the fact that I might become less focused and the good mood perhaps will disappear. For now I dont have any good solutions for that besides getting triggers for video games out of my life and replacing gaming with new hobbies. Maybe I will figure something out or the community has some ideas?

12th of April: Im writing a little bit earlier today. Had a lazy start this morning, made it out of bed a few minutes before 12 p.m. (!). I was really tired, maybe I should not have read that article of Cam so late in the evening. Have watched a movie on netflix to relax a little yesterday evening. Well, the forenoon was gone, but I didnt waste any further time. Had a quick shower, drank some water, no breakfast since I stood up so late. I headed to the clinic, had lunch with some of my colleagues there and joined the medical internship seminar at 13.15. We finished around 2 p.m. I then bought a coffee and returned to the seminar rooms where I worked for 2 hours reading through the protocols of previous exams. In 1 hour I will have a short meeting with my co-examinees and one of my examiners where we talk about the thematical focus of our upcoming exam. Afterwards, I will have a good meal. Besides bouldering and workouts, I want to try out intermittent fasting and see if it helps me with losing some weight. I will skip eating in the late evening then. After my meal I will study internal medicine for the rest of the day and go to bed earlier than yesterday. My plan for tomorrow: waking up at 7.30 breakfast heading towards the citizens' center for my certificate of conduct. I need that for my license to practice medicine in case I pass the exam. maybe there will be some time left before lunch for studying. Otherwise: lunch studying until 3 p.m. break 4 p.m.: 2 online meetings with my 2 other examiners. dinner 7 p.m. online lecture about nutritional medicine going for a walk / stretching / fitness going to bed before 23.30

I really should get some sleep right now, but I just read Cam's article 'How to Quit Playing Video Games' where he talks about the 4 areas gaming is targeting: 1) a temporary escape 2) constant measurable growth 3) a challenge 4) social I just want to make sure I dont lose this thought: I got into bouldering recently and just realized that this activity is targeting all 4 areas. Its fun and you forget about other things while dealing with some boulder problems / routes (temporary escape). You make fast progress that is also visible (constant measurable growth) --> You start to climb higher difficulties. / Unfinished routes can be done with some training. There is also a challenge: you really want to make it to the top / end of the route. You need lots of body strength and coordination for that. It is also social because you easily meet new people, the community is really nice and people help each other. Lets see if I will stick to this new activity but it starts to look really promising because it might be a good and lasting alternative to playing video games. Ofc you need rest times and I also have a lot of other interests and hobbies, but it targets all the things video games are targeting, too. Time for bed now!

short update: I cancelled bouldering for tomorrow, I came to the conclusion it is better to get some rest and regeneration. Today is day 24 of my gaming detox. About 10-12 days left until my Riot account gets deleted. Staying strong and focused until I can cross that off.

11th of April: Today didnt go as expected. I made up a flexible task list yesterday but only made it through the first half today. I started the day with a good habit. My plan was to get out of bed at 8.30 but since I woke up a little earlier I decided to overcome resistance and instead stay up at 8 a.m. I headed to the supermarket, bought some food for breakfast which I had afterwards. I have to admit, I then procrastinated a little by reading through some journals on this forum and by watching some bouldering videos on YT. I am still exhausted from yesterday, my sinews, ligaments and muscles are still not used to the physical strains this sport involves. I started work at 11 a.m. and prepared for a seminar with my co-examinees. We started at 1 p.m. and I finished at 15.30, later than I thought, so my plan to drive to the clinic got delayed. In the seminar, we asked ourselves medical questions about typical clinical pictures / diseases we expected to get asked in the exam. The others asked questions directly by calling names, so there was no excuse. I HAD to answer and the others would always know when I struggled finding the right answer or when I had no clue at all. I really hate that feeling, but I know I am not dumb (just a little behind in medical knowledge maybe) and this type of preparing the exam is more effective. Afterwards, I had lunch, then I began to feel really tired so I decided to take a 1 hour nap. Watched some 'pitch meetings' (channel ScreenRant on YT) before the power nap. I dont regret it because after 4,5 hours of work (11 a.m. to 15.30) and with a full stomach from lunch I needed such a break. After the nap I went to town because I havent been outside yet. I bought some bouldering equipment to make sure I stick to this new hobby. I just returned home and am writing this journal entry now. I decided to relax this evening, maybe I will read through my notes before bed, but right now I feel like taking a break today will benefit me more in the longrun than learning another 2 hours. I will have stressful days to come. And I also havent thought about LoL much the last days. I finally found my old and long missed focus. So I know I will be back on track tomorrow. A nice girl from my clinical internship asked me to join her for bouldering tomorrow but I dont know if I will make it tomorrow because I really dont want to overstress myself physically. I will decide that tomorrow. And I will make good progress tomorrow when it comes to studying, I make sure of that. And 4,5 hours today with maybe another short study session later this evening is not a bad result for today. Until next time!

Made it through this loop a few times by myself. This is also exactly the reason why I think moderation doesnt work for some people. Cam talks about moderation vs abstinence in a video on his channel and brings up the example of having chocolate in your house and eating only a piece of chocolate vs eating all of it at once. I know that I couldnt eat only one piece, so my strategy is to do not have chocolate in my house if I do not eat much sugar. With gaming its the same for me. I know I would fall back into the same loop again if my games were still on my computer or somehow in range. So I try to modulate my environment in a way that going back to gaming is as difficult as possible. Once you reach your good habits again and start to get confident I know that it is tempting to get into games again. The brain knows exactly how to 'convince' you with made-up arguments and bring you back to your comfort zone. Havent found a good strategy or answer to that issue yet 😕 But this time for me it feels different. I dont think this loop has to be repeated forever. Every time I went through it I got more ashamed because of my bad habits, but on the same hand also more determined that this cant be the way I want to live my life anymore. @Talby Having enough resources and barriers between you and your games plus having an emergency-plan when cravings appear helps a lot in my opinion. Playing in moderation might work for some people but I can highly recommend to follow the path of abstinence. The craving gets less and less the longer you dont game.

Interesting question! The importance of day planning and following these daily plans varies from person to person I guess. For example, I dont have many appointments atm, I am single and I live in a shared flat where I am usually on my own. So if I dont plan my days, I start getting lazy and undisciplined, wasting my time on Youtube and computer games. Other people might have a girlfriend or other accountabilty partners or just have a job that demands good organization so they are used to it. In my opinion, the goal should be to define achievable tasks and goals for the day, but staying flexible at the same time. You cannot forsee what will happen the next day. Maybe smth will interrupt your plans and draw your attention. In this case, one should not be too harsh to oneself, I think. Your daily tasks might not work out as planned but at least you tried it. More important in my opinion is staying on track. Structuring your days is a habit that is repeated day by day (my understanding of discipline). So if something interrupts you, you should focus on how to get back on track as soon as possible. When you are in a 90 day detox right now and you have a problem with distractions when having a lot of time or feeling boredom for example, try to stay busy, e.g. meeting friends outside, going for a walk, doing sports. I am not sure if I got your point right. Just let me know if I talked past the topic. 🙂 Anyway, good luck with your goals and 90 days!

10th of April: Sticked to my schedule, but with minor differences. I got out of bed at 8.30 and started to learn some file cards while having breakfast. I studied about half an hour (until 9.30), then I decided to clean the bathroom (because it was about time 😅). Afterwards, I went to my bouldering spot by bike and bouldered for 2 hours with a friend. I met some new nice people there who gave me tips on how to improve and which boulder path to take. That really built me up. I returned to my home, showered and had lunch. My sister and some of her friends plus my roommates had brunch in our shared flat when I returned. I kept their company for a few minutes while having lunch. My sister wanted me to stay but tbh I didnt want to lose my focus, so I sticked to my plan and headed for the clinic's seminar rooms in order to study. I even denied some cake she brought with her because I wanted to eat healthier. It wasnt even hard to say no and she wasnt mad 🙂 I arrived at the clinic at 3 p.m. (1 hour later than planned yesterday). I then had a long conversation with a good friend on the phone. We talked over an hour and it was a really good conversation. I told him that I struggled in the past quitting LoL. I lived with that friend in a shared flat before the pandemic, so he knows a lot about me. But I never told him how much time I had spent on this game. We had a deep talk about our problems in real life and he even showed me a new perspective on some issues I have to deal with atm. One thing that pressures me a lot these days is finishing my doctoral thesis. I could have already finished it if I would have worked more consistently, I guess. Now that I have to study for my exams, the thesis gets delayed AGAIN so I have to finish it after my studies. My friend gave me some tips and also calmed me down. I told him later that day that I was really grateful to him sharing his thoughts with me. At 4.30 p.m. I started studying. That phone call really helped me to stay focused and to visualize my goals and hopefully bright future as a doctor. I finished my learning progress at 9 p.m., so I reached my '8 p.m. - goal'. 4,5 hours of straight work time. The phone call made me think about friendships. I was really discontent with my social relationships. Ofc a big reason was that I stayed inside playing computer games all the time, but that is not the whole truth. I also was discontent because a lot of my friendships were superficial and only lasted until someone moved to another town. I also made friends with people who I didnt even share many interests with. I was discontent because my friends didnt fulfill my needs. But the last 2 years also made me think about my own behaviour as a friend and I realized 2 things: 1) I did talk a lot about myself and usually started sentences with "I" (I also do it in this journal, but a journal for self-improvement naturally focuses on the writer, doesnt it? 😉). I wasnt egocentric, but self-centered. I have always been a guy that reflects a lot about his own behaviour and his own problems. I am also a daydreamer. Not really an introvert, but oftentimes lost in thought. 2) I have been a person who usually said 'yes' to social activities if asked. But I was rarely proactive and usually did not make efforts to initiate something or asked his friends to go out or to meet. Because of that, I now try to truely care more about what is going on in other people's lives, especially my friends' and family members' lives. And I try to be a person that starts social activities or conversations with people by himself rather than waiting until he gets asked to go out. This is also a way of showing my friends that I care about them. On the other hand, I am more particular nowadays concerning which people I want to have in my life and with whom I'd like to spent my time with. Ofc there are different types of friendships and a single person cannot fulfill all your needs and interests. I am aware of this. To finish this entry, here are some questions for you. Maybe it helps you reflecting your own friendships and behaviour patterns. What is important for you when it comes to friendships? What do you expect from a friendship? What aspects does a person need to fulfill so you can call him a good friend? Are you content with your social relationships and friendships? If not, what could be the reason? What type of friend do you want to be for others? What is one thing you could easily improve in your friendships and social relationships? Have a good night, see you soon! 🙂

8th of April: Yesterday I was in a bad mood. I cannot even tell why, but it just hit me. Tried my best though to use the day well: I made breakfast, then set off to go to the clinic for studying. Studied barely 2 hours, had lunch. Went home at 4 p.m.. In the evening I went out in order to get some distraction. Conclusion: A day full of sad feelings and low amount of time studying, but without cravings or noteworthy bad habits. 9th of April: Today went much better. Arrived at the clinic at 11 a.m., worked 1 hour without distractions, then had lunch. Afterwards I struggled to get in a good workflow again but I did a lot of stretching while hearing 2 Game Quitters podcasts about addiction. 2-3 hours passed like that. While hearing the podcasts I thought a lot about my own life and where I stand atm. The first podcast from 'Gaming the System' emphasized the importance of 1. journaling 2. structuring the day by writing down a task list. I am already journaling now, but my days oftentimes lack of structure. I think this is because I dont have many appointments and noone is controlling my daily behaviour. Yes, I live in a shared flat, but momentarily there is not much social interaction. Structuring my day on a daily basis, thats what I should prioritize more from now on. I also try to keep myself busy with tasks outside of the house so I can stay away from my own PC. Studying in the clinic has turned out to be a good decision. I am much more focused in this environment than I would be at home. In the late afternoon I found my workflow again and worked from 17.30 to 21.45. I dont feel like I have accomplished as much as I would like to have, but working 4 hours straight with almost no distractions (only a few short breaks) hasnt happened in a long time. My plan for tomorrow: waking up at 8.15 a.m. breakfast at home studying 1 hour (8.45/9.00 a.m. - 10 a.m.) bouldering at 10.30 showering + lunch at home go to the clinic`s seminar rooms (wont make it before 2 p.m. I fear) --> studying until at least 8 p.m., with short breaks (go for a walk, toilet, buying coffee) late evening: journaling, structuring the next day See you tomorrow! 🙂