nils

29th of April: Today was kind of a miss. I stood up at 10 a.m., immediately went showering and preparing my lunch. I had breakfast with one of my flatmates on the balcony. I then sticked to my plan from yesterday and finished my last chapters. That took me about 30-40 minutes. My appointment (doing sports with a study colleague) got delayed by 1 hour, so it started at 2 p.m. and lasted until 4 p.m. I havent had lunch until then and I was really hungry. So I went to the supermarket. I really craved for sweets this time and bought me some cookies, this was fine for me today because it was the first time this month and I dont do it on a regular basis anymore. I had lunch then (lasagna with tomatoes and spinach). It was already 6 p.m. and I was in a bad mood, mainly because I again realized that my flat situation isnt good for me. I just dont fit into the friend group of my flatmates and conversation feels really awkward from time to time. This may be because I am lacking some social skills and smalltalk isnt my strength (both flatmates are really nice and communicative), however our interests differ a lot and we dont have much in common. I am looking forward to move out in a few months and to rent my own apartment. The point is that I moved to a new town lately and have already met a lot of new people, but I am still struggling to find my peer group and some deep friendships. A lot of my other friends nowadays live across the country, hours away from me. So as I said, it was 6 p.m., my mood wasnt good and I got tired. I didnt study as planned, instead I laid down on my bed and got some rest. I will now go to bed. First thing in the morning after showering will be having breakfast WITHOUT starting my pc and procrastinating. I will hear an inspirational podcast or some music maybe, but will then immediately try to leave the house and go to the seminar rooms so I can be productive. Today I watched no LoL content although I spent time on Youtube. The weekend is planned to be spent mainly at the clinic without many distractions. After the weekend I will have one week left until my exams begin. I havent even started with my last subject because I studied the greater subjects first, so I will focus on that on the weekend. I will keep you updated on how I progress. __________ Today is day 42 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

Wow, thanks!! This is one of the greatest compliments you could have given me! I started journaling mainly because this community is so nice and recommended it. And because I needed some external control for my habits (accountability). But to see that people really take something from this, motivates me to stick to it 🙂 I am truly thankful for your comment! Atm I dont comment much because of my exam phase. But afterwards I want to delve into some other peoples' stories here in this forum 🙂 Although today was a miss (see my entry below), I will try to stay strong and keep going! I also wish you the best of luck for your plan of becoming a doctor. It is a long way to get there and you really need to want it. Studying gets easier over time. In my case, the first 2 years were hard because the exams were designed in a way that failing was easy. But the last 3 years were no problem anymore regarding passing tests. Just remember yourself from time to time WHY you want to become a doctor and why u started that journey. Most of the things you learn during studies arent necessarily the things you need for your profession later on. A big thing for me was the switch from school to academic studies. After the first 2 years of studying, suddenly there was no external control anymore. Noone controlled my habits and the way I lived my daily life. Thats when I got addicted to LoL and when I missed daily routines like staying up early, having an eating rhythm, and so on. If you dont have a girlfriend / boyfriend and noone is controlling you, you need some good habits and selfawareness besides some self-discipline in order to stay focused. I suck at self-discipline, I find it way easier when people rely on me and control my actions or when there are specific deadlines so I have no excuses.

28th of April: In a weak moment of the day, I watched LoL content again. I immediately regretted it after I had finished. Interestingly, I had cravings for watching LoL montages but not at all for playing the game. Nevertheless, I obviously havent fully internalized the importance of staying away from LoL content. Repeating this bad habit is the first thing I need to avoid in the next days and weeks. The forenoon was mainly spent on playing music, procrastinating and preparing lunch. In the afternoon I had an appointment. I havent studied a single minute as the evening began. When I realized that, I fought against the urge of remaining inside my comfort zone at home. I went to the clinic where I studied from 7 p.m. to 22.30 straight. I was glad I made it through that moment of struggling. I got so immersed in the medical material that the time flew by. I didnt fully make it through the last topic, so I have some chapters left for tomorrow morning. I will try to maintain the energy and focus that I had this evening for tomorrow. After studying in the morning, I will have another appointment at 1 p.m. tomorrow. Afterwards (late afternoon or evening), I will go to the seminar rooms again. I did a 1 hour walk today and about 20 minutes of riding my bike (driving to the clinic and backwards after studying). Besides watching LoL content today, I have no cravings for League whatsoever. Barely 2 weeks until I have my exam and hopefully become a doctor. I will keep going down the path that I committed myself to. __________ Today is day 41 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

27th of April: Exercised one hour in the forenoon, havent done that in a long time. After lunch I started studying with my new group. Due to some social anxiety and a lack of self-confidence I was afraid that I wouldnt be able to be on an equal level regarding knowledge. But my fears were unnecessary, it was a good decision to join the others and study with them. After 2 hours I went home, spent some minutes there before leaving again. Went to the seminar rooms and studied another 2 hours. Had a 1 hour walk besides my 1 hour fitness workout, too. In toal: Learned over 4 hours today, 1 hour walk and 1 hour fitness. I am content with this result for today. __________ Today is day 40 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

26th of April: Today was a good day! Procrastinated less, studied over 4 hours and decided to learn with some new people for the exam. Had a 40 min walk and ate healthy. No fitness today, but time will come. __________ Today is day 39 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

25th of April: I got out of bed at 9.30, showered, then had a call with a friend at 10 a.m. No breakfast, but early lunch. Went for a walk in the afternoon. Studied 4 hours so far, 1 hour left to go after my journal entry. Could have done more for sure, but I was procrastinating a little again in the late afternoon. I am starting to feel the pressure a little more now since the exam is in about 2 weeks. Also my medical thesis is still bothering me. At least I got an answer from my tutor today (turned out my tutor was able to read my mail that I have sent). I have a meeting now in the end of May. After my exam there will be a few weeks left during which I want to push my thesis. But I can feel that I should get some free days after this learning phase. I earned them. And besides, I need them in order to stay mentally strong. I'd also like to think about my personal development afterwards because I am still not content with my living situation and still dont know where to apply for my first job, regarding clinics. So maybe I will go hiking for a few days. I had a strong temptation today for sweets. I was really hungry after the seminar and needed to buy some food from the supermarket. But I resisted the urge and came up with the solution that buying grapes instead of sweets is a good trade-off. Did some fitness exercises, too. In the end, this day was just fine. __________ Today is day 38 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

@Amphibian220 Thanks for your kind reply! I really appreciate it! 🙂 Good luck with your fitness goals. I know the problem of over-stressing just too well. When I start new projects, I oftentimes do them excessively until it is too much and I need to rest. Thats why I have sinews problems now because of bouldering too much 😅 24th of April: Short entry today. Stood up late again, drank some coffee, chilling until 13.30 (but NO Youtube!). Went for a long walk, about 80 minutes. Cooked and had lunch then. Listened to a Rich Roll Podcast afterwards, the one with James Clear (I am a fan of his book 'Atomic Habits'). It was a long podcast, two and a half hours. Started learning at 18.45. After 3 hours with no breaks, I write this entry now. Will do a short walk next, I need to clear my head after this long study session. I will proceed afterwards for another hour at least, then go to bed. Reached my goal of the day: No Youtube the entire day, not even using my smartphone a lot. 🙂 __________ Today is day 37 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

23rd of April: I promised myself to be honest in this journal, so I have to admit I didnt stick to my plans once more. Yesterday at 10 p.m. I watched a trailer of a nice film on YT and recognized that the cinema in my town showed it at 11 p.m. I decided to watch it, being aware of the fact that I wouldnt be able to handle my 9.30 plan the next morning. I wanted to go to the cinema for quite a while and yesterday after that trailer I just felt like going. I didnt regret watching it but I am not happy how today went. I only studied for barely 3 hours again, and only because I convinced myself to learn stuff for 2 hours in the evening. Before, I had only studied for 30 minutes. The day was mainly wasted on procrastinating again by spending a lot of time on Youtube. This journal is about my LoL addiction, but I am aware that Youtube plays a big part in it too. It is the second addicting thing in my life after LoL and has a similar addictive potential. Sometimes I feel like it is fine to watch some videos for entertainment. But I am oftentimes not able to stop a phase of binging videos as well, even with DF Youtube activated. So I need to take precautions in the first place that save me from watching YT mindlessly. I think, a reason for these wasted hours is the fact, that I have no good possibility of separating entertainment and work in my room. I only have one desk with my PC on it that provides both workspace and entertainment. This is exactly why I separate work and entertainment by leaving my flat. If I learn at home, it is too easy to get distracted. I dont have good alternatives though, the town's library is closed atm and I dont know whereelse I could learn besides the clinic (still have the problem with my account and no WiFi there so I cant use online resources for studying which really holds me back). Maybe I have just reached a point of studying where I have a little low. I realized that my motivation is still there but I am not as efficient as I have been a few weeks ago. Maybe I am too harsh to myself. I have reached a lot of good things this month! I deleted my LoL account and all left LoL-related material on my PC. I ate healthy and didnt buy added sugars or sweets in weeks now. I went for a 40 minute walk on a daily basis since the last 1,5 weeks. Since my first day of journaling I have studied EVERY DAY. And there were times in my life where I wasnt able or willing to learn in weeks or months. I started a new hobby (bouldering) and made new friends because of that By the way: My forearms are not fine yet, but they dont hurt anymore and I have the hope that bouldering or fitness will be doable in a few days again. Conclusion: Considering the fact my exam is in about 2,5 weeks, I need better daily results and therefore need to cut down spending time on YT. But I am showing up consistently which is good. I am still optimistic that I can get a good grade. __________ Today is day 36 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

22nd of April: Same result as yesterday. I am still failing at the first half of the day. Woke up at 9.30 as intendet, but made it out of bed 30 min later. The biggest issue here is my smartphone and YT that keep me busy until the late night. So my only plan left for today will be: Turn the phone off before bedtime! And I still cannot relax by doing music or fitness because I still have the inflammation in my arms. That really sucks. Maybe instead of Youtube, reading, going for a walk or just listen to an audio book would be possible alternatives. I reconsidered my plan once more because the citizens' center would close at 12 on Friday, and I was already late. So still no license. It is not a task I need to do immediately, but having it done in the next week is a must for me because I have failed on that too often now. Had a big breakfast, chilled a little (again Youtube, my weak point atm), then went to the clinic at 13.30. Started learning at 14.15, spent time in the seminar room until 8 p.m. But with some breaks, a short walk included. Also a friend called me at 7 p.m., so I spent an hour on the phone. This is quality time though, so its fine. In total, I studied 3 hours and 20 min. Didnt stretch nor listened to any podcasts. I will stretch before bedtime. Now I will prepare dinner and fold my laundry afterwards. I wont structure my day for tomorrow in detail this time, my only task will be: staying up until 9.30 and not procrastinating immediately after breakfast. If that is done, the day will be already won. __________ Today is day 35 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

21st of April: I failed on the first half of the day again because I stood up too late. My morning routine is not working atm it seems so I need to find a solution for that. Maybe planning more realistically by not putting too many tasks on my schedule early in the morning is the way to go. We'll see, I have to figure something out. Because of that, I readjusted my time schedule. I skipped breakfast because it was too late. Made early lunch instead at 11.30 and planned to learn from 12 o clock to 2 p.m. I only managed to study for 45 minutes though due to procrastination. 😬 Did some laundry during the break. From 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. I went for my coffee appointment, it was a really nice time with good communication. I still struggle with smalltalk, especially when talking to people that I dont know well and that I have just met recently. But I think I managed to not behave awkwardly. Afterwards, I did some more laundry, then headed towards the clinic. Started to study there from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m., only had a 45 min break (stretching + listening to 3 short GTS podcasts). So I learned about 4 hours today which is a slightly better result than yesterday. At the end of the session, I did some repetition of already learned medical topics. I found that I was able to remember a lot, which is kind of relieving. You often forget a lot of stuff because you have to remember so many facts in a short time as a medical student. I just had a nice salad, now I am relaxing a little bit. I want to learn for another 30 minutes afterwards, but it would be better to go to bed early, I think. My plans for tomorrow: waking up at 9.30 (more realistic atm) showering + breakfast finally getting that license from the citizens' center lunch (finished 2 p.m. at the latest) going to the clinic, study session until 20 p.m. with breaks for coffee, stretching, GTS podcasts returning home, dinner, chilling or studying ( depends on how motivated I will still be after the learning day) Didnt mention the highlight of the day yet: My Riot account got deleted!! Just received a message from Riot Games. This is a huge step for me! It is necessary to increase friction when it comes to my LoL cravings. It is harder to fall for cravings when you dont have a high level account with lots of skins and data of your gaming results, like a ranking for example. Its all gone now! If I want to play again I need to start from the bottom by creating a new account after downloading the game. This would take a few steps during which I could rethink any relapse attempts I might take. But I am not willing to take them. I dont want to live through such a situation ever again 🙂 __________ Today is day 34 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deleted. Next goal: 45 days without gaming (50% of the full detox).

Learned for another 30 - 40 minutes now. So barely 3 hours today in total. Tomorrow needs to be better. I post my schedule here so the chance is higher that I will stick to it: waking up: 8:45 breakfast, then going to the clinic (I plan to be there until 10 a.m.) study session 1 (until 12:45) walking back to my home, preparing and eating lunch 2 p.m. coffee with a friend (until 4 p.m. at the latest) going to the clinic again, study session 2 (until 8 p.m.) moving home, dinner, time for stretching, relaxing, maybe some repetition of learned stuff going to bed (until midnight at the latest)

20th of April: Today I didnt perform well. Got out of bed at 10 a.m., had breakfast (selfmade porridge --> oatflakes, milk, bananas, cinnamon), then procrastinated a lot. I deactivated DF Youtube yesterday because I wanted to see some classical music recommendations. Didnt turn it on afterwards because I forgot. So I fell for the YT feed today (ofc I didnt reactivate the add-on immediately, I was too weak it seemed ... ). Watched stupid videos with content I am not even very much interested in. Like the Johnny Depp process against Amber Heard, for example. But things get way more interesting when the alternative is studying, dont they? 😅 Prepared my seminar for an hour, learned with my co-examinees from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. Then procrastinated for another 3 hours after having lunch. Today really was my weakest performance since starting this journal. The problem was I didnt leave home today because I had to be at home for the seminar at 1 p.m. Tomorrow I will 100% leave my house and go to the clinic's seminar rooms again. Even learning medicine with only my papers and my smartphone while hearing music on Spotify will lead to more success than sitting in front of my home PC. Too many distractions. Turned DF Youtube on again ofc. At 7 p.m. I listened to an interesting international lecture about sports nutrition. Got reassured that following a plant-based diet is the way to go. Walked 1 hour afterwards. Now I will at least start the diabetes chapter and see how far I can go before preparing for bed. __________ Today is day 33 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Riot account deletion expected in the next days.

Now I am in the mood for trying out new recipes, haha 😄 Thanks for the inspiration. I used to eat microvave-steemed frozen veggies with lowfat quark in the past to increase protein intake without the need of taking supplements when working out. Atm I dont do much fitness because of my recent forearm issues and my exams. But I try to integrate enough motion in my daily routine. When it comes to food, I am not able to moderate, same as gaming 😉 So the best way for me is to stop buying unhealthy foods in the first place. I get cravings from time to time for ice cream especially, but only when I fall for the stupid idea of buying food in the supermarket with an empty stomach 😄

Or maybe he didnt find the time to write yet and therefore didnt answer immediately? But if he is just ignoring you now, he is not worth it in my opinion. Good nonetheless, that you have written him!

Good to see you realized that your friend can be a trigger that draws you into gaming. Asking him to stop sending gaming news might be the way to go. You dont need to cut the connection if it is important for you. You both can still be friends if he means something to you. Good luck on your journey! 🙂

19th of April: Again I struggled with getting out of bed early. It is mainly because of my routine in the evening. I am staying up too late and have my smartphone near me because I normally listen to some podcast, music or I watch videos for entertainment. That is something I need to work on. Besides that, I realized that learning home is definitely not the way at the moment. In my shared flat there are way too many people going in and out. One of my flatmates also needs to learn for the exam and invited friends to learn with on a daily basis, but the group doesnt fit me so I decided to learn alone besides my online group meetings. My room is also not designed for studying, it is too dark and small. And my PC provides too many distractions which is why I learned at the clinic's seminar rooms more often in the last weeks. I am working on the extension of my account. Will call the IT service tomorrow and got some information from a member of the clinic today which person I need to address. I learned 1 hour effectively after lunch, then - after a lot of ineffective learning and procrastination - decided that I cannot focus at home. So I went on a walk to the clinic again, luckily I was able to use another person's account. Studied from 5 p.m. to 22.20 with short breaks and no other distractions. Worked really well. I am glad that I turned this day around. I should feel proud but atm I feel more stressed than relieved. My tendovaginits is still not fine but it starts to get better slowly. I also listened to another episode of the Games Quitters podcast today. In this episode, the importance of journaling and meditation got reinforced. I tried meditation a few times in my life but either I had the wrong approach or it just isnt for me. But journaling still helps a lot. Even if noone reads these entries here I feel like I would let the community down if I started gaming LoL again. I think about the game rarely these days. Maybe it is because of the exam, but I also dont feel any excitement or happiness when thoughts about LoL pop up in my head. I just want to get rid of it now. But I checked my op.gg - account info today in order to see if my account is still online because I recieved no mails from Riot so far concerning the deletion. My account is still there. My last games even were insane when it came to KDA: 21/6/20, 19/9/15, 14/9/31, 36/14/24, 12/8/22, 13/2/12, 13/3/12 and so on ... BUT: I performed well in my last games and STILL deleted it after like 7 wins in a row. This shows me that I didnt enjoy it anymore in the end. And no matter how often I win and how good I perform, that doesnt help me with dealing with my real life issues. It doesnt help me with getting REAL confidence, not just some pseudo-feeling of power in a virtual environment. I want more than this. A month without LoL feels so much better, I see things clearer now. This happened to me twice in the past: when I did my 2 previous detox attempts. I think I can make it past the 72-74 days mark. With the right attitude, a strong will and some healthy habits to replace gaming with. __________ Today is day 32 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL. Only a couple of days left before my Riot account deletion (hopefully Riot delivers and REALLY delets it ... ). I also havent bought unhealthy food, especially added sugars, in the last 2-3 weeks.

18th of April: Stood up late, had breakfast, telephoned with my grandparents, went to the clinic. Unfortunately, my clinical internship account got blocked by the IT system because I am not working there anymore. So I wont be able to log in and learn in the seminar rooms from now on 😕 I will try to reach out for the IT support and ask for an extension. Otherwise, I will have to learn at home or in a library. Returned home, learned there in the afternoon. In the evening, my sister and some friends came and we had dinner. I didnt feel too motivated today and had a lack of concentration, but I tried my best to learn stuff. Tomorrow will be another day and another chance. __________ Today is day 31 of my gaming detox. No cravings for LoL.

Thanks, A! Glad to here I can be a motivation for you. Keep going, I am sure, you will reach that goal, too 🙂

17th of April: I dont write much today. My arms got inflamed now due to physical overload so I shouldnt stress them more by typing. Learned 5 hours in the seminar rooms today. Just returned home and made some tomato soup, will relax now. Had a nice Easter breakfast in the morning, listened to a lot of classical music and walked 45 minutes today. By the way, happy Easter everyone! 🙂 __________ Today is day 30 of my gaming detox. Reached one third of the 90 days 🙂 No cravings for LoL.

Hey Salem, welcome to the forum and thanks for your introduction! 🙂 There are not THAT many people around here at the moment, thats true. But a lot of members post something from time to time or read some posts of others. I can really recommend starting your own journal because it helps getting your thoughts in order and also leads to an accountability to the forum which helps with avoiding gaming and staying true to your plans and commitments. I guess, once you start to focus more on offline activities and you get to turn your life around, it is normal that you spend less time in this forum 😉 This is a point worthy to think about. What is it that makes you stick to games like LoL besides escapism? I was a LoL player since season 1/2, so I know how addictive this game can be. Maybe some of my thoughts in my introduction post or some posts of others might help you. I know it takes some courage to get rid of your account since you have so many memories attached to it and also spent a lot of time leveling up and get trophies, skins etc. But if you really want to quit League for good, abstinence is the way to go, I fear, unless you are one of the people that can play in moderation (its hard though). You could for example uninstall the game and delete the Youtube or the search bar feed in your browser that contains LoL content, as a first step to get the triggers out of the way. If it is about the money you spent on skins, you can also try to sell your account online and get some money back. I had several accounts which I deleted again after some weeks / months, and from my experience you feel a lot better when being away from this game for a while and starting new or old hobbies. Learning a new language or going to the gym is a nice way to start! See if it works out for you. I cant give you good advise here, since I didnt have a lot of friends that were gaming. But in the forum's discussion area you may find some help and new perspectives. Cam Adair, the founder of this forum, also created some youtube videos on his channel Game Quitters regarding how to deal with gaming friends when quitting. In my opinion, if your friends are true friends, they will understand and respect your wish of playing less / quitting. You also might look out for new people that share some healthier interests with you. That doesnt mean you have to let your friends down ofc, but spending more time with people that can support you on your way might be helpful. Good luck on your journey! Keep us updated 🙂

16th of April: Today was completely filled with family time 🙂 It was a nice day. We went to a fine restaurant, played games in the afternoon and had a great chocolate biscuit. I just arrived at my flat, bought food for Easter in the supermarket and - most importantly - just sent a mail to my tutor because of my medical thesis. This took some courage but I asked her for a meeting in person so we can discuss some aspects of my thesis. I know I didnt make a huge progress but I included some time for working on it in my schedule before the meeting. Just got an automatic email back from my tutor: not available until end of April due to vacation. Yikes! I will need to try it again in a week, but at least I dealt with this problem before Easter. Tomorrow will be a normal day of studying for me. I really want to go bouldering again but my right hand is not fine due to physical overload so I still need to rest. I realized, though I have done mostly fine concerning my time management since I started journaling, I am still not in a good mental state. My self-confidence is on a low point again. I havent cried in years, but especially after the divorce of my parents and after I have realized my addiction problem years ago, I feel like I am about to cry more often these days. I read on the CGAA website that it is a possible symptom of withdrawal. The amount of the mistakes I did in the past overbears me from time to time. I know for sure that I am on the right way. But it is still a long way to go. I start to improve my habits day by day, with some not so strong days like yesterday for example. I wrote entries in my journal on a consistent basis so far and it is a good opportunity to improve my English (grammarwise). I struggle a little bit with prepositions and other stuff, I hope you forgive me my mistakes and these entries are readable. So, in short: Some good things are happening right now, accompanied by weaker mental days. I guess this is a common loop during a detox. What else? I found that I sent my Riot account deletion request on the 22nd of March. It takes Riot 30 days to delete the account, but 5 days before the deadline there will be no opportunity to stop the deletion process. So if I am right, this will be tomorrow. I will check my mail account the next days and see if I will receive a respective mail from Riot Games. I am really looking forward to this day. I could create new accounts after the deletion, and so I did in the past. But that takes a few steps. And I am really aware of my situation, the will to get rid of LoL is stronger this time. I havent played other games during the beginning of my current detox besides playing an oldschool RPG for 2 hours. I wont say I will never play video games again in my life, but I rather doubt I will put a lot of time in this hobby in my future. Firstly, because I wont HAVE the time for gaming due to working as a young doctor. Secondly, because I choose the games I might play CAREFULLY nowadays. And I give ONLINE games a wide berth because I know about the addictive potential. Thirdly, because I replaced gaming with hobbies that fulfill the needs I tried to satisfy with gaming. Enough for today. I have to admit I didnt make it through that hour I wanted to study yesterday evening 😅 And this day has almost ended. So tomorrow is the day of days! Until then, have a good night 🙂 __________ Today is day 29 of my gaming detox. No cravings for playing LoL so far.

15th of April: I didnt find the focus today. Stood up at 10 a.m., had lunch at 12.00, prepared my seminar which started at 1 p.m. Learned 2 hours with my co-examinees. Afterwards, I procrastinated a lot unfortunately. Watched some boulder content. And also some Elden Ring content which I now regret because I lost some hours by watching gameplay content. Besides LoL I have played some single-player RPG games in the past, but I do not get addicted to them or have problems with craving. Today the thought "buy Elden Ring on steam" popped up in my head but only for a short moment. I think it was because I felt too comfortable today. It is not the time to start a new game since I have to deal with an exam and my thesis. So I washed this thought away and moved on. Rode my bycicle in the afternoon, then had dinner. Tomorrow I am with my family, so I wont be able to learn much. I really need to make progress during Eastern since I didnt do all of my tasks today. I will try to learn for at least 1 hour this evening, so this day is not a complete miss. Maybe yesterday was a bit too much. But I cannot afford cheat days in the future tbh. __________ Today is day 28 of my gaming detox.

14th of April: Learned nearly 7 hours today! I am exhausted now and have a slight headache. Not all minutes spent on learning were used well or were used with a focused mind. But still, I did well, I think. Over the day I convinced myself several times to do a little bit more even when I wanted to do a break. For example, I studied from 10.30 to 3 p.m. (before: stood up at 9 a.m., had breakfast with my flat members) and wanted to have lunch at 13.30 but the teacher for our clinical internship seminar just arrived and the topic was interesting so I decided to stay in the seminar until 3 p.m. I am not quite sure about my learning techniques though. In the end what counts is how much I cam remember in the exam and not how many hours I spent on learning. Studying medicine means you have to memorize a lot, and I mean A LOT!! Atm I am reading a lot but with little repetition or verbalization (which is important to practice for the verbal exam). But I dont feel like I will make it through all the important topics if I dont read that much. I also learn with my group members twice a week, so I get the verbalization part from there. Nonetheless, I still had some breaks. Decided to do a walk outside after lunch. I needed a bigger break today after 3 p.m. during which I listened to a Game Quitters Podcast. Learned something about the pomodoro technique and tried it out in my evening session. Found it to be really useful, I was able to learn the same amount of facts in less time. Started my next study session at 17.30. Then learned until 19.45. I have one topic left for this evening, but I really need a break now. Besides studying, my mood was ambivalent today. Had to think a lot about my medical thesis. I should really reach out to my tutor but I am frightened because I havent contacted her for months now. And in the past I let her down like I let myself down because of gaming too much instead of making progress within my thesis. Atm I really dont have space left for that, the exam is more important now. I fear the moment where I have to admit to my tutor that I almost did no real progress in the last months. I will have to deal with that problem right after eastern or I will be stressed out and worried for the rest of the month. __________ Today is day 27 of my gaming detox. 1 week until Riot account deletion. Still no cravings for LoL. Also my time on Youtube has decreased significantly and I dont browse mindlessly for hours anymore.

13th of April: I better dont talk about today's morning 😅 (ok, I do it anyway). Timer rang at 7.30, but I found that I still struggle with getting out of bed early and on time. Today I stood up at 10 a.m. Didnt stick to the plan with the citizens' center, I will need to do that tomorrow or next week. Went to the supermarket, had breakfast, watched some bouldering content, then headed towards the clinic where I had lunch. Afterwards, I studied at the seminar rooms for 2,5 hours (12.10 - 14.45). Did some posture routine, then returned home for my two meetings. Had a nice first meeting with one of my examiners, the 2nd examiner didnt make it in time so we will need to find another day for that meeting. Had another lecture about nutritional medicine that has just finished. I will now drive to the seminar rooms again for another 1,5 - 2 hours of studying. I started to have fun at learning again and I see the exam as a challenge now rather than a threat of failing. Conclusion of the day: - need to improve getting out of bed in time or I can throw my plans for the forenoon away - I am still in a good mood, studying starts to be fun, I stay disciplined and dont waste too much time - no cravings, no desire to play LoL Today is day 26 of my gaming detox. About 8-10 days left until Riot account deletion.

Just returned from the clinic. Learned another 3,5 hours this evening. I am not proud of my behaviours in the last 3-4 years but since the last week I finally stop feeling like a piece of sh*t. The accountability of journal does its magic and I feel more disciplined than before. Thinking about the last week I also wasted much less time as usual. The last days passed without any cravings. Sticking to a made-up plan and time schedule feels very efficient. Its like I replaced my old addiction for LoL with a new addiction for living a healthy, organized and colorful life 🙂 But I should take precautions against a possible relapse, just in case. At the moment, I make good usage of that gained momentum. I am aware of the fact that I might become less focused and the good mood perhaps will disappear. For now I dont have any good solutions for that besides getting triggers for video games out of my life and replacing gaming with new hobbies. Maybe I will figure something out or the community has some ideas?