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Everything posted by DuckyMcDuck

  1. ok so I am about to crack, today I've procrastinated the whole day and I am very drained for some reason. Damn. (it's not even about games, I am just bored)
  2. day 5 Ok so this just happened : today I cracked a problem that simply crushed me before, I FINALLY had the strength to stay, look at a piece of code I simple gave up on before (and today too but having all the extra time I forced myself again and again) AND I UNDERSTOOD IT. I failed (or close to) a mini exam cause of that but now I get it and it's so damn obvious. And it only took me a day ! Thought I'd take me weeks. Holy hell this could allow me to pass one of the two exams that were going to get me rekt and I KNOW for a fact I'd have retreated into video games again and again and again today if I tried this. This may have just changed my life forever. Thank you guys for the support and the idea. You can't believe how hyped I am, this is a major victory for me. Also, had some gaming urges today but nothing unusual. I think they are actually normal since I get an urge to do pretty much anything but study so there's that lol. Anyway, thanks again guys, I can't really put into words how happy this has made me
  3. I just deleted most games, except for the 50 gigs one I simply haven't touched and maybe a few smaller ones. Did delete the desktop shortcuts and that was it. I even keep my steam open at all times to keep up with my gaming buddies. It really depends on the person and how much they trust themselves/know they can ignore having any game in their system. I mean one could just open a browser and play, you can't completely remove temptation unless you give up electronics. Anyway, yes, I uninstalled all games I actually played or remembered about. I usually stick to my desktop so temptation is small. Btw you can always just go linux, it will solve any gaming problem
  4. Day 5 Managed to run today (had to pass a sports class), was tired, didn't really learn much but a day off isn't too bad, I just need to re-focus tomorrow. Can't wait to reach JS and make interactive stuff during the summer but that aside: - little gaming craving, pretty much same stuff as before in regards of excuses made in my head. Assuming I get that jog thing sorted out and pass my exams this summer could prove quite easy to pass trough (and I don't really fear a re-lapse assuming I realize in time, I could always do another 30+ days). This is a really nice break
  5. Someone like me :D. Maybe you're just introverted ? Not everyone has the energy to deal with people all day long and if you do something as a task instead of just for enjoyment it will feel like a chore. I think the whole point is to occupy your time with things you enjoy (and if they lose said enjoyment switch up). And yes, as a newbie I myself lose quite a bit of time doing what you described, it's just hours less than I did on games (and for me it's beneficial atm). Anyway, congrats on reaching 90. Saw the second post : if it becomes a problem again repeat the process. Also, why exactly are you playing ? There must be a reason (find it and deal with it, I know what I am avoiding by gaming and in my case it's exactly that: habit + avoidance). Also, sorry to hear about the bad relapse. Thing about addiction is, if you try to quit (or go for moderation), it's not a decision you make once. It's a decision you'll make every day.
  6. that's actually a legitimate question you should answer. If you can control yourself and can stop them from becoming a problem again (or are ready to do this again and stop any potential problems in the bud) I don't see why you'd stop for good AFTER the initial detox (I am in the minority here and I think this is a decision everyone has to make for themselves). If you don't trust your self control (again, really think this trough) then quit them for good.Also, no idea about the energy thing, I have way more energy now so for me it's the opposite in this regard. Also, I know this is a personal question, but WHY are you actually doing this ? (it may help to write it down and read it ). I am not sure if this is allowed but you can pm me a skype chat or something like that and just message me if you're about to fuck up and install/play (I myself am solid for 30 days, then I will evaluate things further, considering recent results I may very well end up going the full 90, I sort of like this in a weird way)
  7. well it's pretty important for my general relaxation/pent up energy. That aside I am quite amazed with how far I've come in those four days. I am pretty sure I can actually pass my exams with a bit more effort. It used to be that I thought I am really fucked. Now I think that in a week (and I have quite a bit more time) I can absolutely pass so there is that to celebrate
  8. I can wait. Local elections are coming so they will probably speed the disaster that's called "renovation" and hopefully open it again soon. The mayor pretty much destroyed a national wonder and the only (true) green space in the whole city so I am not exactly happy about it. (no other mayor touched this park before, this is the first who decided to steal by renovating it)
  9. I could probably find another route if I wanted to get in better shape but would I enjoy it ? No. That park was quite unique and pretty big. As a relaxing tool it's really irreplaceable
  10. Ok time to update Day 4 Still thinking about the game from yesterday. Keep finding excuses. I won't touch it till day 30 at least but it's a really intrusive thought which is annoying to say the least. The reason may actually not be gaming though, it may just be extreme boredom given by the courses I have to finish (lots of re-reading stuff and looking for details ). Said courses are going to be very difficult after I get past the boring part so there is that too (total mindfuck). I think I am just very bored, maybe getting tired, and really not in the mood to reach the difficult subjects so, again, this may not be gaming just my mind defaulting on the easy stuff I used to replace this with. I can't wait to get trough the boring part (may still take a day or two sadly but working at this pace it will be over sooner rather than later) and see if there's any difference once I reach the mindfuck stuff. Then there's the "after" part where I will have a period of relaxation after the exams (hopefully) which would again be interesting for me to observe. Also I come to this site way to often to procrastinate in between lessons (short breaks truth be told, they may actually allow me just enough time to get ready for the next lesson) so I need to make this more rare. I need to take up jogging again asap (sadly the park near me is in ruins thanks to a corrupt moronic mayor who should rot in hell so my "rejuvenation place" is shattered). This reminds me, can't wait to start webdev stuff again and actually do what I like. Fuck this mind numbing material I am forced to read. Speaking of which : frustration is building but again, I don't think it's due to my vacation from gaming (could be, as stated can't wait to see how things change in the next few weeks).
  11. just noticed the html thing. In case you haven't heard about this yet and want to see something cool: google bootstrap (also github, nice place to store your projects)
  12. Yes, and the "there will always be another game" part is good in my eyes, if one manages to control himself (otherwise gaming would be boring). Some games are very much like books (I haven't played those in a pretty long time but the one I am waiting for will pretty much be the size of a book) while others can be quite artistic. All the respect for those who want to quit for good but video games are not "bad" in my eyes, they just have the potential to be so if we lack discipline/focus. Anyway, I have the same mentality for most things in life except for hard drugs (where I simply think your average person, me included, would simply have their will crushed)
  13. Whatever you do do not install league. I myself am a dota player and I've tried uninstalling and reinstalling the game "for just a match" in the past. I mean i installed and uninstalled a couple gigs game a few times a day until I decided to just keep it. There is no moderation with MOBAS until you get some serious self control. Also, focus on the negatives maybe ? I mean DOTA often gave me quite a bit of rage, didn't LOL do the same to you ? Does this forum have a chat ? I am quite curious to see how different our experience was in this regard. Now I just had that stellaris game come out and I am making excuses myself but most importantly remember : you made a promise to YOURSELF.I have a feeling you had to be pushed quite hard to make it so just remember the pain it gave you, remember the reason you decided this, remember the misery those things caused. Again, I am not against playing video games and I think we are to blame not the games themselves, but a promise to yourself is the most important sort of promise and anyway, it's clear at this point in time you lack the control to play in moderation. This is withdrawal, it will suck, try focusing on other stuff. Speaking of other stuff, try duolingo, it could be fun for a while. Or khan academy. Coursera. Also, for TV shows, not sure what you're into but do consider Lucifer since it's one of the funniest shows out there (low brow humor but still, the one liners are just golden). Anyway, be strong and remember why you're doing this
  14. Hang in there buddy, you are stronger than the temptation. I am but for a second I thought: gg no re. I just promised to myself I will last at least 30 days to 90. I mean paradox WILL release a shitload of packs in about a year that will change the game completely and atm it's probably a buggy mess. Anyway, the timing just sucked. On the good side I don't see how it can get worse than this (well there is the 10 year game I am waiting for) and I've already convinced myself not to install (it still sucks as a feeling but I will get over it). Anyway, thanks for the support
  15. Ok so I am ready to update the day. Day 3 Can't say I did much work today but what I know for sure is that with gaming I'd have found excuses to not even do this much. Also, I am currently finishing a bunch of lessons that are critical for my exams so once I finish those (in a few hours max) I will have made a huge advancement which is pretty much perfect. Yes, this could have gone faster, but the speed is still, I think, acceptable. I won't get an A but I should be able to pass if i reach the other 2-3 cornerstones (like this one). Best part is they build on each other so this will really help prepare me for what's about to follow. Also, no huge gaming urge today either, nor any fap abuse as some people seem to have reported in the past (I may have misread). I probably abuse reddit the most followed by youtube but work is definitely being done despite that. Truth be told they help me relax quite a bit. Also, regarding the close pc go to a library and study suggestions : I study Computer Science, I pretty much depend on being online/on my pc to study. Edit: no idea wtf is happening but I almost fell asleep and it's like 21:00. I usually can't sleep before 1 in the morning 2nd edit: stelaris just released, I can't play it, this is crushing
  16. I sort of do the youtube thing myself(music, comedy) but, with the exception of one player, I've stopped doing that too (since I anticipated I'd try to WATCH games I can't play anymore, I've tried to control myself to lesser extents in the past, I sort of know how retarded I can get). As for me no, i don't plan to stop for good at all. The way I see it games are good, relaxing, fun, the problem is not games, the problem is me. It's clear that at the current moment I lack the impulse control to stop myself from playing too much if I play at all so, at least until some things are put in order and I manage to gain some restraint (be it by meditation, by finding other hobbies/occupations) I will stop playing. I also have a fixed deadline when it comes to the release of a game I've waited a literal decade for (I will just binge for 1 week ). Anyway, if it helps you at all, this is just my second day and my productivity has sky rocketed. I am finally tired at night and it's not even 00 00 yet (I used to play till like 2 and not be tired). I used to think i can't do anything intellectual at night. Today I managed till about now. So if you want to increase your productivity this may well be a holy grail
  17. Hey there. I myself just started (am on day 2) and what you described is what I've taken steps to avoid. Delete all games but be ready to exercise restraint because once you open the browser, well lol, you know what's gonna happen. The thing about us is we're addicts and we'll find excuses, rationalizations, whatever, to "take a hit of the stuff, just a little one". Maybe a 10 minute break for a short game or something like that. Never give in to that urge or you'll soon find yourself in a nice slippery slope. Also, shame about that account, do you plan to stop for good or just for a few months till you gain some restraint ? Anyway good luck
  18. I don't have a clear end goal. I just need to keep this up until my exams end then I will have to decide if it continues during the summer (probably) or not. Assuming it continues during the whole summer I will probably stop this the second a game I've been waiting for for about 10 years is released (this year). Ideally I'd stop when I get hired, which may be 6 months to a year but I doubt I have the fortitude to last that much Guess I may as well update now: DAY 2 Today I had no game cravings overall despite being pretty bored. I had to study, it was very boring for the most part, If I had the option I'd have played out of sheer boredom. Managed to get more work done because of this than in the last week and I am still going to do it for a few hours. While the work is sub par I think it will either improve or it will have to be enough. Definitely should have started this a couple weeks earlier but late is better than never. I wonder if this is productivity thing will continue or I will manage to procrastinate more somehow (tried to avoid this to a certain extent, not really working myself up about it that much, small steps).I can definitely see this being a huge factor in my work ethic over the summer and leading to me getting a job in the future (assuming I manage to keep it up). One problem though: I really need new hobbies or things will turn nasty in the next few weeks One last edit before sleep : For weeks I've always dreaded sleep since I was ALWAYS disapointed with my effort during the day. Today I can finally rest without being angry/miserable at myself. I fucking missed this
  19. Not really, I will look into him later. Again, the main problem is the subject(s) are really useless this semester and quite hard so I really don't want to learn them but I have to. Again, if I think the subject will ever help me I do not fail and I invest a good chunk of daily time despite (in the past) gaming. I simply used to shut up, do it, then game (even if the subject was hard for me). Looked a bit into it, knew most of the stuff, it's the theory that's killing but I don't really worry, I will pass said exams since study is still advancing at a slow pace. I will update the journal later today but so far no cravings for games (well nothing that would cause a problem). At what day does the huge craving thing usually start ?
  20. Day 1 I am not sure why I am doing this (the journal) or if I will keep updating but I just thought it would be interesting to see how the days passed (assuming anything changes). Anyway, let's start with initial motive for starting: exams and hard ones at that. I think I use(d) gaming to escape the very unpleasant college subjects (also very useless but I need the diploma ) so I need to stop wasting that much time. I assume the habit will be replaced with others which is something I need to mitigate fast. Assumption was proven right today by reddit. I think I will need a limit reddit system soon, probably starting it tomorrow or on Monday. Anyway, first day notes : -very small cravings + a small nap. LOTS of reddit and music but I figure it's just the first day and I may as well not go all out. Considering the reason I game so much (escapism) I suspect this may actually be easier for me than it was for others IF I manage to get past the studying part and pass the exams this month. Assuming the first month is passed the others will probably be a joke so this journal should end after day 30 or so (hopefully). Right now I KNOW there isn't anything that could make me game again this month, I am actually quite curious to see if that will change and I was truly addicted or, again, just trying to escape reality. I did game for about 6+ hours a day so sheer repetition could very well have caused addiction. I am seriously considering going back to reading books but then again, exams. This will truly suck thanks to the study part. Anyway, really curious to see how my spirits change during the next few weeks (the main reason I decided to write this). Edit note: when I say I WILL do this from the first try i mean it, I've been forced by fate to do worse than this (stop playing any games, stop most tv shows etc, it's how I discovered reddit actually) and basically be forced to spend months on my shitty phone for anything online while being a rather unwelcoming place so I absolutely know how bad this could turn (for reference it was by far the worst year of my life). Only difference is this time it's my choice and the food I eat won't send me to the hospital Oh well here goes nothing