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dhitts

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About dhitts

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  1. Days # 12-13 Made it to 2 weeks! Feeling grateful for that. Same strengths and same problems keep cropping up over and over. I seem to be able to ride out the cravings through replacement strategies. I've worked out how to relax (Bath), how to be intellectually stimulated (Reading, guitar) and how to be interpersonally connected (daughter, reconnecting to old friends) - but when I need to do catch-up work or repetative work I get anxious quickly and my urges to game swoop in. I can fight it off, but I keep resorting to escapist solutions. My goal at this point is to try and move away from
  2. Days # 8-11 Been awhile since I've done a journal - happy to say it's not due to a relapse but instead due to a long-standing trouble journaling. This was the first week where I was getting up super early to go to the gym and it really ate up a time period where I would sleep at night or sleep in the morning. Threw me off my journaling game for sure. Trying to get back on it. Also trying to get on top of my meditation plan so I took advantage of an offer from Amex to get a free year of the calm app. Hoping that will help me out. One thing that's definitely been helpful over the week
  3. Day # 7 Back to work! Monday comes every week. Had a bit of those sunday scaries before it started - powered through. I am working on my pattern of really engaging with the part of my work that I like (the interpersonal part) and disengaging from the parts I dont (paperwork) - which is easier to do remotely than it used to be. This is my long term goal and I am trying to be gentle on myself about it during this first week of being game free. That's still going strong - which is pretty amazing! Made it through a whole week. Went for a run at night, took a bath (which I am finding to be ver
  4. Day # 5 & 6 Weekend combo journal. It was a holiday and I got to spend it with my in-laws. That always makes me feel a bit more normal and farther from my temptations. The daughter is always a hit with the extended family which feels good. I continued to feel pretty anxious throughout the weekend - partially due to my paperwork worries and partly due to the political stuff I pointed to in my last journal. I think that combo is going to be with me for a while yet. I didn't succumb to temptation and game - but I did watch a ton of netflix on "daddy-daughter day" which is sunday (I watch
  5. Day # 4 First time I am writing my journal the day after. I think it's ok this time. Last night was a wild ride. I was already feeling anxious at the end of the day (pretty sure it's because I felt like I should have done/been doing paperwork but was avoiding doing so) when the news came through about Justice Ginsburg dying. I'm a news junkie in general, I have strong (progressive for what it's worth) political views, and this was extremely impactful for me. I have a action figure of Justice Ginsburg and have been an admirer of hers for years. I stayed glued to the TV/my phone following t
  6. Day # 3 Pluses and minuses today. Another day without gaming: Plus. Still really freaking avoidant/escapist: minus. I had a block of time at the very end of my workday where I could have turned to paperwork, but played with my daughter and read about childraising instead. While I feel happy to have done these things rather than gaming - I remain concerned about my escapism when it comes to work I don't like. I know this relates to my adhd, and anxiety about starting. @BooksandTrees You are totally right - when I've fallen behind in the past and caught up I feel so much better. Nonetheles
  7. @BooksandTrees here's the link to my journal. The TLDR; I had a baby in May, it didn't "naturally" stop me from gaming. Working at home during COVID has led to me gaming during the work day and I am getting so behind I'm worried I will get fired. Time to quit! Thanks for taking an interest.
  8. Day # 2 I knew today would be a harder day and it was. On Wednesdays my wife and daughter go to her parents for the day and I am left on my own to work from home. I tend to get up before them and then they leave at 9 and I work until 5. Normally, I would game for hours - even, at times, while working. I would tell myself that the games I was playing were "not that mentally engaging" and that my quality of work was the same. Clearly this wasn't true - but, that's what I would tell myself. So, today I resolved to not do that. I'll admit it - I had urges. Urges to escape (time to watch
  9. I did start my journal! Yesterday was the first entry since it was the first game free day. Day 2 happened today. It was a bit harder as I was alone in the house all day - and would normally have gamed a bunch. But I am proud to say I held back. Thanks for checking!
  10. Day # 1 (I started the process 2 days ago, but today is my first full day game free) Gratitude journal I feel grateful for my wife who is supporting me in this effort and my baby daughter (17 weeks yesterday) who is my major source of motivation. One amazing thing that happened/I did today My first full day game free. I erased all my computer games and my phone games. Can't believe I really did it. Workout/run - did an alternating walk run: 40 min total, 16 min running, 24 min walking Weekly Goal(s) Don't redownload old games o
  11. Thanks Giblets. I really appreciate the response, it's good to know that others resonate and have made it to the other side of this thing. Yesterday was an improvement, but definitely not the cold turkey day I'd hoped for. Today I start the journaling process. I've been up for an hour and no games yet (I'd usually have put at least 20-30 minutes in by now...)
  12. So, here's my introduction... I'm pretty old. Just turned 40. Been gaming since I was around 8. I took to it like a fish to water - my parents claim they had trouble getting me to stop even back then. I've never really stopped for any extended period of time since I started... part of me can't believe that I will really stop now. I think the big thing for me has always been escape. I definitely get anxious, I definitely get down, I have ADHD. Games have been a whole other world for me where those things weren't as true. It wasn't as bad when I was young because I was always doing oth