amchow

8/16/2020 - Day 78 Today was a lazy day of mixed computer activity and watching Law and Order: SVU. Stopped watching once I got to episodes I had seen already. Had a bit of hard time emotionally due to some family stuff (can't talk about it in detail), but got some good encouragement later on when I was talking with my women's small group later on in the day over a Zoom call. It felt good having some contact even if it wasn't in person. Finished a couple models that I am posting here to end this entry:

8/14/2020 - Day 76 Today was a productive day at work and it ended well. Had a good conversation with my parents tonight and then settled down to rest and relax. Didn't watch Blue Bloods tonight as I opted to take a break and work on LEGO models instead. Feels good being in the weekend and I am looking forward to relaxation and decompressing from a fast week of work. Here's the red-black Imvanya car I mentioned:

8/13/2020 - Day 75 Checked the box on another day of working from home completed. This week has been going by rather fast. Not sure if it is work or something else. *shrugs* Oh well. I'm kind of okay with that. In the meantime, I'm enjoying life. I feel more at peace, knowing and aware that I am not hiding my gaming habits from my parents and that our ties as a family has gotten closer and tighter since I got rid of gaming. In general, my former life as a gamer has started to fade. I no longer think of gaming. I spend more time thinking about how to rebuild my social life after this Covid craziness ends and how to find a guy worthy of my attention. For sure will need to work that out due to my overall inexperience with courting in general as I avoided them to childhood bullying that resulted in the loss of my first guy friend. I'm sure I can figure it out. For now, one step at a time. Looking forward to one more day of work for this week and then the weekend arrives. 😄

8/12/2020 - Day 74 Today was another usual day at work. However, there was one good thing that happened. Getting good comments on my feedback for training and onboarding made me feel good and being given extra responsibilities in this area is good. Definitely better than the company I used to work for. There was hardly any opportunities to progress there whereas my current company is giving room to grow and not treating me like a number. Although I got hit by a migraine this morning, the rest of the day was good after a dose of Advil Migraine and 2 cups of tea later. Pro Tip: Caffeine (in moderate amounts with drinks such as tea) in conjunction with a headache medicine is good for clearing headaches. Anyway, time to end this entry. Must do devotions and end today on a good note after two episodes of Blue Bloods Season 1. 😄

8/10/2020 - Day 73 Today was a productive day with work. Got stuff done and ended the day feeling good. Did my usual dailies and spent the night watching Blue Bloods Season 1. Looking forward to another day at work tomorrow. Since the Red-Black Imvanya car is taking a bit, here's the dark blue one:

8/9/2020 - Day 72 Thought I hit the 'Submit Reply' button yesterday. Turns out I didn't. 😅 Today was a first day of another week at work. Seems I wasn't affected too heavily by Monday blues and I was in a relatively good mood. After work, I drove out for the first time in a number of weeks to get some DVDs from the library. Going to spend my evenings watching Blue Bloods from Seasons 1 - 9. Feels good doing something different and having something different to do in the evenings. To end this entry, here's three cars I neglected to post. Will post the two Imvanya cars once I finish the second one:

@UsualSuspect Welcome to the forums! Glad to know you are starting to consider getting rid of games. I too didn't go for a counselor or psychologist. Instead, I got the materials for Respawn, the program Cam Adair made to help with getting rid of games and starting a new phase in life. Here's the link for the general description of it. Button to purchase materials is at the bottom of the page after the general description: https://gamequitters.com/respawn/#:~:text=Respawn is the culmination of,of video game addiction recovery. I would highly recommend getting it as it helped me more than a counselor would have. Remember, we have all been at your point in time before starting this journey and we are all going through the same journey together. I believe you can do it! 😄

Welcome to the Game Quitters community! 😄 I am glad you made the same decision I made about 2 months and 10 days ago. Being a game quitter and living life without games is SO worth it. Will be cheering you on as you embark on this new chapter of your life. Remember you can reach out to any of us in the community as we are all going through the same journey and we can all support each other.

Welcome to the forums. Got a tip for you that has worked for me. Ever thought of making a conscious decision to change your identity (how you view yourself)? For example, state to yourself that you are: An adult, not a child A wife who cares for her husband, not a gamer who avoids her responsibilities Making this change of identity in your mind will help shape your behavior patterns when quitting games. I believe you can break this cycle. It just takes initiative on your part to get the job done. The fact that you are here in the Game Quitter forums is a good start. 😄

8/8/2020 - Day 71 Today was a good start to a good weekend. Spent all of today watching Law and Order: SVU. Pretty much was lazying around and relaxed. It felt good to relax and fully decompress from what felt like a long week of work. Looking forward to more relaxation tomorrow. 😄

@thomasdawson @Undsoweiter Hey. Thanks for the input. I actually already came to the conclusion about 1.5 months ago that going back to any form of game, regardless of whether it is modded or not, would be detrimental to me and would not benefit me in any way. I instead found a different activity on my phone in the form of reading summaries and insights from non fiction books and articles to help benefit me in real life. These are provided from apps on the Google Play store and I get real life insights and learn stuff that can benefit my life in terms of finance management and professional development. Finding that a lot more useful and better than gaming in general.

8/7/2020 - Day 70 I thank God that today is just about over. It is one of those Fridays in which you say a genuine "TGIF" due to it being one of those weeks that you just want to come to an end with regards to work. It's not that it was a bad week. Every week has been a good one since I started this new job. It was one of those physically taxing weeks where I felt mentally and at times physically tired afterwards. I am for sure looking forward to the weekend and watching more Law and Order: SVU tomorrow. Thinking of going to my local library this weekend to get some DVDs for Blue Bloods. It's been a while since I last did it and I want to see all seasons in their entirety. As for my other activities, dailies are going well and I am enjoying life as a Game Quitter. Here's another LEGO car to end this entry:

8/6/2020 - Day 69 It's that moment when you realize you neglected to journal for 2 days straight. Apologies everyone. Days are getting such that they appear to be the same due to the same routine every day with very little variation. Only weekends seem to be different (or at least feel different). I must admit I have struggled with feeling down due to being more isolated working from home and not having as much in person contact. However, I have learned to deal with my emotions better, dancing with them rather than telling myself to have a false bravado and act like I have to be strong. Sometimes it is okay to not feel strong. It's what helps me learn how to actually be strong. What matters is I make it through this time. Must be patient and rely on the Lord in this time.

@BooksandTrees Hey. I apologize for this being late. I didn't see it until now. The software is Studio 2.0. It's completely free and has full functionality. Has Windows support. Has both existing bricks and even bricks from retired sets. The rendering engine (PhotoReal) is absolutely fantastic (as you can see in the renders I have posted). It's quite fun. You can build your own models or rebuild models off of existing building instructions. Studio 2.0 download Link: https://www.bricklink.com/v3/studio/download.page LEGO Official Website Building Instructions: https://www.lego.com/en-us/service/buildinginstructions/search?q=&sort=relevance

@Stanly Kwok Thanks for the suggestion. I actually got over this phase of even considering moderation quite some time ago as I accepted there was no such thing as middle ground when it pertained to gaming. I'm also taking courses on CodeAcademy for fun mostly as I had put it off for a long time and I just do one lesson a day to pace myself. My main career path is in mechanical design and 3D modeling and I started a job as a Design Engineer two months ago so I am more focused on putting together 3D LEGO models on Studio 2.0 (which you can see in some of my journal entries). I love my job and my new hobbies are keeping me busy. Plus I have a very strong support network with my parents and both small groups from church. Thus, a lot of motivation not to return to gaming.

8/3/2020 - Day 66 Today felt like a draining day... Well, it IS Monday after all. But I got stuff done amidst a flurry of unlisted model changes I had to make. Definitely learned what the current engineering standards are as I go on with my job. Did my dailies right after I ended my work day and decided to write my journal entry early as I like to shutdown my computer and read for a while before going to bed. To end today's entry, here's another car model:

@Dpesuti Both of your mom and dad's advice is good to start with. What I will say in contrast to your Dad is your brain will get over games in the sense that urges and cravings will seem unintelligible (like a foreign language you don't know) and you will find it easy to ignore them when they do come. Thus I encourage you again. It will get easier as time goes on and the start of your detox gets farther and farther away to the point where not gaming becomes a permanent way of life and gaming becomes something you find foreign to you. Your mom's advice is good. I've personally gotten into a routine with doing one Korean lesson, one typing lesson and one coding lesson a day at a minimum. I've built a daily routine with them and it's been good with keeping me busy. To me, being addicted to something that has more to give to real life is better than being addicted to something that has nothing to give to real life. For example, I would rather spend hours learning to code or working on a coding project or 3D model than spending the same amount of time on games. Coding and 3D modeling have lots of potential job opportunities in tech and industrial production companies whereas gaming has nothing much to offer in the real world. I'm certain you will find something to replace games. If you haven't already, take a look at the Hobby Tool Cam has for anyone who needs a great list of options: https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/

8/2/2020 - Day 65 Today was a somewhat relaxing day as I spent my time doing my real life dailies and finishing another LEGO model. I washed my bathroom. However, I procrastinated for at least an hour because it is my least favorite chore to do. In the end, I got it done. Other items I did was bake a frozen pizza and make some Kpop ringtones for my phone. All in all it was a good day. Starting another week of work tomorrow.

8/1/2020 - Day 64 Today was a restful day (as intended). Spent the whole day watching Law and Order: SVU repeats as I do every week. It felt good after a long week of work which ended well with finishing tasks I had stated I would finish by a particular deadline. One thing I have seen thus far in my journey as a Game Quitter. I would not be doing as well with my job if I was gaming. I would not be learning Korean, taking typing lessons, and learning coding if I was gaming. In fact, my relationship with my parents and other people in my life would not be as good if I was gaming. I've gained so much as a Game Quitter. I would loose too much if I returned to the fake world of video games. On that note: Here's some more models that I put together today. 😄

@RB1 I am very grateful that the advice I gave is helping you out now as you start a new phase of your life with a new identity as a Game Quitter. I'll be praying for you as you start anew. Now, my new advice to you on next steps: Define what you wish to be now and in the future. Figure out what you want to be in terms of a career and aim for it. Make short term goals to lead up to those new long term goals. For example, in my case, I stated to myself daily: "I am an engineer, not a gamer." I began a new job as a Design Engineer two months ago and I aspire to become a direct hire senior member in that field. To do that, I have to work hard at my job, impress the chief engineers of my team, and develop a good reputation as a hard worker and someone who produces high quality work. As I am learning myself, be patient with the process and in time, you will find joy in life that is free of gaming and that the effort and time invested is SO worth it. And it will make you happier as well. 😄 Cheering you on, RB1! 😄

Hey, @Dpesuti. Thanks for the insights. Thankfully, I came to that conclusion a long while ago and made the conscious decision to change what I perceived my identity to be in order to detach from gaming completely. I accepted that gaming is not something I can pick up again as the danger levels of me being addicted again were too high to even consider the risk. Thus I chose to stay away. With me being accountable to my parents and both small groups at church and having gained so much since that identity change and decision to stay away from games, I don't believe it is worth returning to games on my end. I would consider myself weak and emotionally immature if I did that.

@Dpesuti As a fellow Christian, I heavily appreciate these references. I'll make sure to note them down in case anyone at my church asks about Bible verses that pertain to addiction.

7/31/2020 - Day 63 Today was a good day with work. I got a lot of stuff done and met the deadline I set for myself. Thus I am happy yet a bit worn out from the effort I put forth today. I woke up from a not so good dream that involved my dream self gaming this morning with the screen right in front of my vision (as if my real self was experiencing this). Safe to say I was a extremely mortified as I actually recognized the sensations associated with high dopamine releases and I was asleep and not actually playing a game. Thank God for supportive parents. I talked to them while out on my morning walk and they talked me through it and out of it. As the day went on, I forgot all about it and moved on. The day ended well and I am going to spend the rest of the day reading my Bible and crime thrillers before going to bed. Looking forward to the weekend. 😄

@Dpesuti If your mom is not understanding what you are going through, I would hold your ground on the matter and not let her advice influence you too much since she has not gone through it herself. As for your dad, he would be the better person to discuss your early detox symptoms with as he will be more understanding about what you are going through if he has gone through the recovery process himself and would be better able to empathize with you and support you better. Thankfully, my parents were both very much in favor of me quitting games and all the people I know at church are 100% in support of me finding freedom from it. My dad had suffered and recovered from Facebook addiction prior to me freeing myself from video game addiction so he understands the withdrawal symptoms. Ultimately, my advice would be this: Don't let what your mom says deter you from your journey. Your journey is your own and I wouldn't let what others (even family) says about it influence the outcome. Make it clear to your mom that you know what it actually is, tell her about how your behavior patterns align with the 9 signs of addiction, and ask for her support in your journey (along the lines of cheering you on) and not necessarily ask for her for practical help as she doesn't seem to be familiar with what it is like to recover from addiction. She can be someone you can vent to about what you are going through but not necessarily get practical advice from on how to deal with the withdrawal. I would also advice you to give the thought of talking to your dad about what you are going through a try especially if he has gone through the process of recovery himself. Another piece of advice is: Feel free to reach out to me or anyone else on the forum you see being active on a daily basis. We have all gone through the same journey. I can say I was feeling the same way as you 60 days ago so I know how it is like to feel intense withdrawal for the early stages of addiction recovery. If you need anything, feel free to DM me on the forum and I can message you back when I am able. Hope my advice was helpful. 😅

7/29/2020 - Day 61 Today was such a busy day. I felt completely drained after. However, I learned a new part of a process and I am glad I am doing and learning more things. I also made a couple chicken bacon ranch tacos just for funsies and they tasted good (although I drank too much water afterwards XD ). And again, it felt good making something I thought of myself. Sometime in the future I need to consider adding more items to my Wonton Noodle soup to make it even better. Pork slices maybe? I'll need to consider it. Aside from the above, I did my real life dailies and went to do a walk before coming home to settle down for the day. I mainly feel like settling down to read my Bible and read my current Alex Berenson novel before heading to bed due to feeling exhausted. Until the next entry. 😄