NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Dannigan
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Posts posted by Dannigan
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Hello everyone,
Finally, it's over!
I just wanted to thank the following people for their continual support and invaluable feedback. Your input has not been ignored and I appreciate the help very much!
@Cam Adair @Falky @WorkInProgress @Jeremias @Primmulla @Paul A @Kad @Mark @SpiNips @Merdoc_Rowboat
There have been so many different changes in my life throughout the last few months that it's difficult to cover them all in just a small paragraph. The major turning point for me was during the middle of my Detox. I had one minor slip on the weekend when I logged into an MMORPG and played for about nine hours straight. After that, I realized that gaming would no longer be an option for me in my future, as it was just too addictive. After I turned my back entirely on gaming, I experienced some emotional struggles. I was going through a tough time emotionally, because without the gaming to help me cope, I was struggling to address specific stresses in my life that propelled me to game in the first place. Let me tell you, it was NOT easy. Learning new methods to cope took me a long time to create a habit. I wasn't perfect in keeping up to my goals, but I pressed on and did what I could anyway. I did all this without spending time on a single game.
What did I learn about myself? Lots.
1) I learned about what types of coping skills work for me: meditation, socializing, relaxation, running, artwork, crafting, writing in a journal.
2) I learned about how to develop habits, and how to maintain them, thanks to reading the book The Power of Habit.
3) I learned how to set up achievable yet challenging goals: increasing my running time and speed, setting up an online craft store, plotting my financial goals for the next 6 months, 1 year, and then 5 year plan., setting up social events throughout the month so that I avoid isolating myself and to give me opportunity to make new potential friends.
4) I learned a little bit more about my personality: introvert, low-level energy, occasional struggles with moments/periods of social anxiety, enjoys non-competitive sports such as indoor rock-climbing, kayaking, running, hiking. dislike noisy venues, enjoys the beauty of nature, enjoys working with my hands and creating or crafting. adopted a Minimalist lifestyle.
5) I learned how to be kinder to myself, and to remind myself that I'm imperfect and yet that's entirely okay. I have a lifetime to grow as a person, and to accomplish many goals that I have listed in my personal journal.
Some of my key personality traits were known to me for many years, but I didn't really observe them until recently, and how I interact with people socially at work or meeting strangers, or acquaintances. Gaming kind of led me to isolation, and it wasn't helping me socially at all. I always thought that it was easier to escape into gaming, yet in the end, I was just running away from life.
I'll be moving onward from here. I have decided to continue my journal on another private site, in hopes to continue with following through with my goals and to reflect about things that I experience on a daily basis. Thanks so much, everyone, for your help, your kindness, and your awesome feedback!
Over and out,
Dannigan
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You're welcome, Primmulla!
I was worried that what I typed wouldn't help you out much, but it sounds like it did, and I am greatly relieved. Your struggle is no less than anyone else, and you never know who else struggles with the same circumstance. I don't believe anyone is ever finished with self-growth. We change over time, and we're always going to be learning about ourselves, and also other people, and how we relate to others, and how we relate to our environment. You have to do what's best for you, and I believe you're the captain of your own ship, in other words.Great to have you on this forum, your support to others (from other posts I've read) have been genuinely helpful.
Sincerely,
Danni
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Hi Primmulla,
I don't think you are hated here. I was a little confused about your post.
It seems that this is more of a conviction and obsession, rather than addiction. I thought addiction was a pattern of behavior that interferes with one's life, to the extent that you are no longer looking after for example: neglecting personal care, job responsibilities, disruption in sleep patterns, aggressive and harmful behavior to oneself and others, etc. Those are only some examples of how addiction can affect one's mental and physical health.
Now, that doesn't mean your case is less important.
I just think that you've had obsessive tendencies for learning about subject matter or popular fiction/shows in the past, so why would that be different with GoT? And also, your obsession with Harry Potter waned.....over time. Right?
The only difference between the Harry Potter fixation and GoT is that your religious conviction is what is driving your reasoning to abstain from GoT. And that's fine. Who am I to judge what you believe?
I don't know if I have solutions for you other than what you're already attempting to do, which is to eliminate all triggers from your sight and ears. But, to be the devil's advocate, what if you see those triggers outside of your house? You can't really run away from all the triggers, as advertising for GoT is practically everywhere. Perhaps what you can focus on is accepting that you will have these strange, or what you call, "sinful thoughts" from time to time, but the important thing is that you're not acting upon them. In other words, be kind to yourself. It's human nature to err, even within our thoughts. I am not religious, but I can only imagine the intense moral conviction that you must face every time you expose yourself to a trigger for GoT.
Forgive yourself first, and then perhaps you can move forwards?
SIncerely,
Danni
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Thanks for this video, Cam. I personally think that you're in the most vulnerable position to start gaming again right after the 90 Day detox.
@Paul A. mentioned that his dad installed a program that shuts down the computer after a certain period of time. I did not know of such a thing until I read that. I wonder if this type of device would help people who wanted to try gaming right after the 90 day detox?
Cheers,
Danni
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I like historical documentaries. My all-time favourite documentaries are the following series:
Victorian Farm
Edwardian Farm
Tudor Farm
Victorian Christmas Farm
Tales from the Green Valley
Ruth Goodman (historian), Peter Ginn (archaeologist) and Alex Langlands (archaeologist) are the main hosts of the series.
I've been fascinated by how people survived living off their land, and creating a life that was self-sustaining. It was not without very hard work, for which I have become very grateful for the modern age and such things that we take for granted. Like running hot water, centralized heating systems, computers and internet, fast communication, speedy transportation.
I also enjoy learning how people crafted and built things out of raw material within their habitat. Like using hazel branches to build a waffle fence, or creating a hedgerow. I'm a crafts-person myself, and I have an appreciation for older crafts as seen on these documentaries.
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(friendships)
its all about making people feel valued and mutual respect.Yup, this is exactly how friendships develop. Be interested in people, and you won't have to worry about feeling 'less-than' or unable to socialize. The trick is that most people want others to be interested in them, their opinions, their accomplishments, their worries and fears. And to be quite frank, when you let down your guard (or the other person does), it's a good opportunity to form a bond. Because really, the human plight, is what people can also relate to.
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Baby steps breathe in, breathe out.
Pos PS: Just realized I'll be the first person in my family to get a Master's degree. Huh.
out
Yup, one step atta time.....you're not gonna leap or you'll crash.
Kudos to you for that Master's degree!
p.s. sorry about your recent diagnosis.....take it day by day....yes, comedy helps...support from your loved ones....and being kind to yourself. You'll make it through...
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Day 18First off, I'm SO sorry for not being very active. It's been a difficult month in many ways.Sigh, I'm not doing so well but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Being sick threw me off so badly, I feel it will be another few days before I am motivated enough to do anything. My dreams are getting worse too. Right now I am lacking focus. I just wander around my house now wondering what I should do and pretty much end up doing nothing. Before I got sick I was motivated and had spare energy to boot. When I was starting to feel better, it's almost like I woke up from a really long nap and now I'm kind of just "Meh". Not taking my thyroid medicine for 10 days definitely isn't helping my "meh" mood, leaving me sleeping 13 hours a night and just generally feeling foggy headed. I wish I hadn't gotten sick so soon after I decided to quit. It really messed things up. I had all these plans for the next day. I was going to do so many things like yoga and exercising and walking the roads... The day after that is when i woke with a fever. Sometimes life really pisses me off.I'm so out of it that not even drawing sounds like fun. I really hope this state of mind goes away quickly. I am gonna go walk in a few minutes anyhow. Maybe the fresh air will help me clear my head.
Hey Sashiku!
The fact that you haven't even touched a game since you got sick is a GREAT accomplishment.
Focus on getting well physically. Being this ill can throw anyone off balance for a while. -
You have a great wife, Mario! She does not want you to become a braggart of any kind. But it is okay to be proud of what you've achieved too. Perhaps there is a healthy balance? Congrats on your potential internship and I hope it goes well on Tuesday!
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Falky that Bonsai tree is looking awesome! I would like to get into some gardening myself...probably plant some herbs because they are so expensive to purchase.
Two weeks left until you finish the detox! You've made a lot of strides in your life since Day One.
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I did not grow up with gaming. I was a kid that was outside a lot, enjoyed reading books, and I had parents who put us in other types of sports or hobbies that kept us busy most of the time. I think this helped me walk away from games for good. I was hit with the nostalgia bug, in that I was reminiscing about a time when I didn't use computers or technical gaming to entertain myself when I was young, and I missed the hobbies I used to do, as well as the feeling of 'freedom' from technology altogether.
I am not an anti-gamer nor anti-computer person. In my own journey, I felt it was necessary for me to fully enjoy my life as I used to before the internet and gaming came along. I miss those days very much, and I can happily tell you that my life is fuller without spending excess amounts of time staring into a computer screen.
Hope this answers your question. Others have varying answers, I am sure. But ultimately, my life is back to where I want it to be.
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Welcome Usernameforworld!!
You've got an exciting life ahead of you.
Sounds like you're off to a good start with writing an honest letter to yourself. Word to the wise, you will start learning more about who you are over the next 90 days. Stick with the entire detox, it is well worth it for the self-growth, and not just about avoiding video games. I laughed when I read how many days you have left to live! And your estimated death! Let's hope for the best, that you live to be that age, but to have memories of a great life full of quality and meaning. Hope to read more about your journey!Danni
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Don't ever be afraid to fail in completing a goal, just keep it written down and do it the next day. Any goal is a great goal, all that changes is how long it takes to finish it.
Very true.
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Miharu's Log - Day 7
Before I sleep, let's review.
I am logging 51% percent productivity according to rescuetime yesterday. Will try to get that number to 55% today.
Next step:
1. Personal analytics in sleep behavior, so I would get to sleep better. Recommendations? I am kinda iffy on starting new habit when the other habit is not fully formed, though.
2. Increase my focus time, reduce my distracted time. Reduce mindless browsing.
Good goal: sleep. I believe that a good night's rest is the foundation for all health, both mental and physical. Good job with your progress so far. Steadily you go....
Tips?
~ one hour before bed, do not use any computer device, especially cell phones, and don't read. Cell phones emit a certain light that actually stimulates neuro-activity, and keeps you awake
~ bed time should be consistent every day. If you go to sleep at 10:00 p.m., try to aim for that time every day.
~ drink warm milk
~ no caffeine at all before bed, ideally no caffeine from 12:00 pm
~ drink herbal tea for relaxation: recommended chamomile
~ listen to a relaxation tape, meditate, one hour before bed
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10/05/2016
Detox - Day 8 complete.
I don't have a great deal to note down today, other than yet another high quality day.
You don't need to have a "great deal to note down", just be consistent and use your journal to sum up your actions
Congratulations on your week, don't give up and keep it this way.Greetings
I agree with PIotr, Jeremias. No need to write lengthy chapters of your progress. Everyone is different. If posting on this website helps you stick with your goals and detox, then it's doing its job. I think you're doing very well so far! Believe me, you're going to be learning a lot about yourself within these 90 days. Good work so far.
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Day 233
I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately to be honest. I've taken on a lot of stuff in my life, much of which I didn't know if I could handle or not. I'm handling it, but it's wearing me out, so it's time to adjust. I have to drop some things, recommit to others, and keep steady with some. Ultimately I have to double down on what's working so that I get all the benefit. Doubling down on: BJJ, journaling, meditation, taking time for myself, sleep. Keeping steady with social commitments, dating, Meetup, family, work. Letting go of smaller things, like reading or keeping up with media, which was never much of a priority for me anyway, and letting go of some relationships that were just draining me but not giving me anything in return.
To anyone just starting out on a 90 day detox, realize that it's really just the beginning, the first chapter. Working on yourself in this way is the project of a lifetime, not a temporary thing.
I can relate to the feeling overwhelmed part.
Some years ago, I used to be a part of many meetups on a weekly basis. It didn't take me long to realize that I am not the sort of person to join three meet-up groups per week. Over the years, I came to understand myself better, in regards to socializing. I am introverted, which means I get drained when socializing for extended periods of time. I have a low-energy aura, and I needed to listen to that, or my entire being would feel overwhelmed. It actually manifested itself physically too, in that I'd become very fatigued, I'd get migraines, and it disrupted my sleep schedule drastically. The ill-effects of over-socializing would last for days.
So, in short, I instrumentally created a reasonable social calendar that is suitable to my personality and also level of energy. It does need honing and adjusting every once in a while, but I never scold myself for skipping out on a social event if my body and mind are seriously exhausted, which in turn, affects my ability to concentrate at work, and ultimately makes me a miserable person to be around!
Danni
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Doing awesome, kiddo!
One step atta time. -
I like how you write in your journal....it is very free-flowing. Thanks for sharing what's happening with you, and sounds like you're making good progress with the Detox!
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Hello and welcome, Jimyree
I too am perplexed at how your parents reacted to your statement about gaming addiction. The only plausible thought that came to my mind was that perhaps they are also relieved you are not hooked on drugs or any other dangerous addiction that some parents think are more hurtful than video games. Which makes me also think that perhaps parents need educating about how addictive video games can be.
Aside from that, you made a very wise choice, and you have a lot of insight for your age. That is a STRENGTH.
I am sorry you feel so badly about your life right now. Please consider that this is a new start? A blank canvass lays before you tomorrow. You are the creator of your own destiny, and I think you have so much opportunity in your young life to make healthy choices. You just did.
It sounds like making friends is difficult right now. Don't feel discouraged. Friendships take time, and opportunity. Right now, you need to focus on what makes you a person somebody would like to be friends with. Building yourself up means watching out for those negative thoughts, and dismissing them immediately. They only compound over time and lower your self-esteem. Building your self-esteem will take time. Best way to do that is to involve yourself in an activity that you enjoy, and to get better at it, day by day. You will build confidence.
This is a great opportunity for you to experiment with new hobbies to replace gaming. Look upon it as a new start.
Looking forward to hearing about your progress,
Danni
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Well thought-out summary of your life so far, RyanGQ. I read it all. Too many great points to list without making it sound redundant....hehe.
I'll try to follow your journal, and read it when I can. I am practicing time limits with online browsing, including posting and reading GQ journals.
Welcome back to the forums.
Sincerely,
Danni
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Hey there Paul,
I read some of your older posts. You're a very articulate and intelligent 13 year old, I must say. No wonder you chose writing as a hobby and also a form of expression. First of all, I want to apologize for trying to pass down a technique upon you that has helped me. There is no One-Size-Fits-All approach. I just figured I'd mention the book because it's been very useful for me.
Being at home all the time is hard, as well as having no money. I can see why it's difficult to find other hobbies outside of the home that are fulfilling. But, you came to this forum with one intention: to quit gaming. I am not sure whether you are going to try the moderation route, or to quit it altogether. Either way, you made a good choice, and that is the first of many choices you'll make in the future. You're quite young, but already you are assessing your situation like an adult. I applaud you for that. Believe me, there are some adults who don't even have the mindset that you have. You deserve kudos, kid.
Take this journey step by step, and day-by-day. That's the game. How are you gonna get through each day without playing one computer game? You've got the ability to stop, but it's also a choice.
Hobbies. Perhaps tell your folks that you want to do other things besides gaming, and that gaming has become unfulfilling to you. Would they listen? Would they allow you to do after-school activities, such as team sports, or learning an instrument, or skate-boarding, etc. Bring your parents in as part of your plan to bring fulfillment into your life. I hope they are supportive. If they are not, please continue reading journals here of people who have shown commitment in their Detox. I can recommend many people:
@Falky @WorkInProgress @ManGodWhyNo @kortheo @SpiNips @Piotr
Everyone is unique. Don't compare yourself with what others are doing. You're in charge to make your life as colorful as you want it to be.
Last but not least, if nothing else deters you from gaming, try to visualize yourself as 30+ years old, addicted to video games, no job, no life, no relationships, NO JOY.
Sincerely,
Danni
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The future is bright...the future is Falky lol.
Haha! Awesome.
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I would like to stop, but when I do I don't have the motivation to pursue other hobbies. For example, I'm not learning to produce music like I want to, even though I've had most of the day to do it. A lack of motivation (or just pure laziness) has been something I've been suffering with for years, and I know I need to address it but I'm too lazy
Paul, the secret is that you don't need any motivation to actually do things. The motivation is the after-math. The trick is developing a habit or routine. I very much encourage you to read The Book of Habit. It will give you tips about how to stick with your good intentions, and not just by saying you'll do it. I hope this helps. You have what it takes, but I don't think you have the knowledge about why habits are formed and how they are maintained. Read the book. I bought it for $15 from Chapters.
Wishing you good progress this week.
Danni
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Hey there Sashiku,
I've been following your journal for a wee bit, and I'm hoping you're feeling alright.
Feel free to send me a private message if you want an Accountability Partner. I am female myself, and I'm 62 days into my Detox. I don't mind private messaging through this forum, or email. I am a fairly consistent individual, and you can certainly read my journal if I'm the right fit for you. No pressure at all. Your goals and interests are unique to you, and we may differ in that respect. However, if the goal is to kick-start and maintain a new lifestyle, then I'm more than willing to help you out with that.
Sincerely,
Danni
BigOlBeartic's Journal
in Daily Journals
Posted
Hey,
You are not back at day 0. I think the problem with this 90 Day goal challenge, sometimes, is that when people slip up, there is too much focus on the relapse. Instead, count the total number of days that you did NOT game. What I did in the past, when I wrote my journals, was re-read my entries after a couple of weeks. It made me feel good when I read what kind of small goals I achieved because I wasn't gaming. This can give you positive feedback, especially during the times when nobody responds to your journal entries. Reflect on your progress every now and then. And remember that everyone struggles. Sometimes we're not always doing well on the outside, even though it appears that way.