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Icandothis

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Posts posted by Icandothis

  1. On 10/16/2019 at 10:21 AM, CornishGameHen said:

    ?  I like that phrase "design your life or someone else will design it for you".  It's very empowering and gives you a sense of control over your life.  We're not subject to fate, by any means.  And yup, I totally understand about stumbling through life and dealing with whatever comes.  One example for me was trying to do too much because that's what I thought was expected of me at my job.  I have since cut back on that, went part-time instead, and now I can use my time off as quality time, or to recuperate from work-place stress.  

    Keep up the good work and mindset!  It was great to read your journey so far.  ? 

    Thank you my friend! 
     

    We are all learning as we go along, and holding each other up the best we know how. Little steps, one breath at a time. Small changes, which turn into big translations. ?

    Hope you are having a wonderful day!

  2. On 10/15/2019 at 9:02 AM, BooksandTrees said:

    Thank you as well for sharing and the kind words. It's a good community here! We're in a good place. I'll follow along for sure. 

    Thanks my friend!! Have a beautiful day!!

  3. Yes!!!! Congrats on your 1 year! This is amazing and I am so proud of you!!!!

    I resonate with so much of the advice in your post. Especially when you talk about gaming being a mental/emotional support column. Seeking gaming for friends, purpose and escape is what so many of us struggle with!!!
     

    I also agree with the gaming in moderation. The couple of threads I read involved members who had a total relapse. 
     

    Thank you for sharing your journal! And showing up for everyone in the community!

    I hope you are having a beautiful day my friend!!!!!

    • Like 2
  4. 20 hours ago, CornishGameHen said:

    It's really cool to meet another female ex-gamer on here.  Thanks for responding to my journal.  Like I said before, this forum has a large male demographic, and I felt a bit uncomfortable joining in the first place.  And many are also younger than I am.  Needless to say, we're all in this together for a single purpose;  to quit gaming, and rejuvenate our lives.  For that, I am grateful for Game Quitters.

    As for knitting, yes, I do knit.  But I am also a novice...lol.  So, not sure if I can give you good pointers (pun intended).

    Good idea to abstain from social media.  I don't have a Facebook account for that very reason.  I think it triggers me to compare myself to others.  But in reality, those people also go through the trials of life too, perhaps some less traumatic than others, but life is not easy sometimes.  We all put on this brave face or façade to make it appear ideal, maybe as a buffer to prevent ridicule or judgement.  In hindsight, I think that just builds walls.  People gravitate to others when they can empathize and relate to circumstances they've also experienced.  You can't really relate to people on Facebook that way.  It's quite superficial.

    I am doing alright.  I believe in the motto 'slow but steady' wins the race.  I'm not sure I'll be posting on a daily basis.  I tend to pitter out over time with journals, unfortunately.  And at this stage of the game, I think I'm brain-farting all over the place with thoughts at random.  Nothing really has any coherence.  Maybe this is the emotional build-up of detox?  lol.  Well, whatever it is, at least I'm getting to the root of the problem.  Processing.

    Hi!

    I feel that you are so brave for posting, and your journal will resonate with many who are reading, but not necessarily joining the forum. As the above poster mentioned, there are a handful of female posters. I actually went to go look for them..... they are a couple pages back but their journeys are well worth the read!!!!

    I am glad to hear about your knitting adventure! Yes I found crafters of all sorts to be very different than the stereotype that is given to them. And I think it’s an awesome way to redirect mental energy... and create really cool pieces!!!!

    I think stepping out into safe real life communities is key to recover. Online stuff is great but we are meant for real person interaction!!!

    Yes, I struggle very much with social media... and I am putting the idea of rejoining on the back burner until I can further heal. I think it’s a tool and can be neutral, but for me right now the experience is negative. 
    I love reading your thread and keep up the good work!!! Look forward to reading your posts!

    Have a beautiful day my friend. 

    • Like 1
  5. 4 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

    Sorry to hear about your brain injury and the affair. I can't imagine what that is like to go through. But I know it is proof that you are strong enough to quit gaming. 

    You mentioned mindfulness earlier. I had an issue when quitting video games where I'd try using only willpower, hate, and anger to stay away. I'd hate the video game community, their memes, lifestyle, and myself due to regret of not living a better life and shame of being a failure in my eyes. This lead to anxiety and anger pulled me out of it. It also made me very sick. 

    Mindfulness and therapy helped me release my hate and anger. I learned how to recognize my emotions and then change my thoughts. This lead me to investigate why I felt shame and regret instead of using anger to avoid those feelings. I then understood why I played video games as a form of escapism and a safe place to socialize. I realized what I was missing in my life and also why I needed it. Therapy allowed me to be a detective and interrogate myself for answers and understanding how I made decisions. 

    This all played into more mindfulness. I could now understand my thoughts, calm my emotions, reduce stress and anxiety, and also appreciate my achievements in life. Most importantly, I gave myself the ability to be in the moment: right here, right now. Anxiety doesn't let you do that. It takes time. 

    Good luck on your adventure. This Saturday will be a year without gaming for me. If I can do it then so can you. We all can. 

    Hi my friend,

    Thank you so much for your comment. It makes me feel seen, heard and validated. ? When I first joined this community, I wasn’t quite sure to what expect.... but what I have found is a loving caring place, with people who have a bit of pain, and who are journeying together in compassion. 
    I relate to what you are saying with regards to the feeling of shame. I have not written about it here, but when I needed support during some of the hard times in my life, I was met with anger and disdain. I have learned that I have a deep belief that I am worthless. 
    Working with different meditation teachers like Jack Kornfield to hold space for the pain, but also hold space for the love and realizing that my heart is big enough to hold all of it. ? May I be held in love.  May you be held in love. May we be held in compassion. 
    Thank you for your kind words and holding space for so many in this community. 
    Have a beautiful day my friend. 

    • Like 2
  6. 20 hours ago, liam said:

    I love that book! My wife is a psychologist and specialises in autism, so she recommended it to me a couple of years ago. Really amazing read! Glad to see things are going well for you - I'm no expert but I think you're much better off reading than gaming. For a start, a good reading habit is calming, and isn't the huge dopamine injection that gaming can be. That said, I think it's wise to keep an eye on anything you feel yourself doing compulsively ?

    Hi!

    Thank you for your comment. I found this gem at my local free library down the street! I would recommend to anyone looking for a thought provoking book. 
     

    Thank you for the advice. I am in the process of questioning what is true. Does this ring true for me? Does this sit well with my heart. It’s a bit of a journey. 
     

    Have a beautiful day my friend. 

  7. Hi!!!

    I am so glad you’re here!  I really relate to your posts. I too used gaming to escape the emotional pain of my husband’s affair. I just could not deal with it. The pain was so intense that I felt dead. The only thing that made me feel anything was playing.  
     

    I have taken up knitting and maybe I could learn a few pointers from you. All I know is the knit and pearl stitch. But I keep messing up, then I have to undo the loops to correct my mistakes! I am trying to get through a beginners pair of gloves. 
     

    And I also hear you on the social anxiety. I don’t have social media accounts as the information is just to much for me to consume and I make it into a negative experience. I am trying to build up the courage to join LinkIn for job purposes, but it terrifies me. Showing up is something that I am working on slowly!

    Sending hugs to you my friend. Please keep posting.... you’re doing great!!!

    • Like 1
  8. Day 25  well here we are!!! I was wondering the other day if all my games’  groups had kicked me out. Probably so.... I have been missing gaming a lot more then  usual the past couple of days. One breath at a time. 
    Thought I would do a quick intro because my demographic is so different then the majority on here. I am 38, mom of 3, live in PNW, US.  I think as you get older, I realize that I have had to change the course of path many times now. This quitting gaming is just another quick detour. ?

    When I was 26 I suffered from a traumatic brain injury. I had speech and motor impairment. The doctors said I would not recover, but then I learned about neuroplasticity, which I believe is common place now. I was able to fully recover in a couple of years. After this experience, I’ve learned the power of the mind/body/spirit connection and the ability of human beings to whether even the worst of storms. It’s an experience that allows me to get through many tough days. 

    I write this journal on my phone, and usually have to cut short when one of my kids get up. Like now!!! ??‍♀️

    what was beautiful about my day my kids!

    • Like 1
  9. On 10/11/2019 at 8:20 AM, Ikar said:

    What was the first book?

    The same thing has been on my mind recently as well. I read this up on the MMM blog somewhere: "Do what is good for you, not what you enjoy."

    What I did was to try and triangulate the least useful activity that I do and try to find something more useful, perhaps something I was putting off. It's annoying, but it's the same as with triangulating gaming and deciding something else is worth it more.

    Hi Ikar!

    It was a book about a wolf tribe who adopted an abandoned human girl.  One of my girls’ books ?

    Yes I get that point. Someone told me a quote “design your life or someone else will design it for you”. I really need to make a plan about what I WANT and need my life to look like. I have been in reactionary mode for so long. Just sort of stumbling thru life and dealing with it as it comes. Let me say that hasn’t worked out so well!

    Have a beautiful day my friend!

    • Like 4
  10. I’m so sorry about the guy. Being rejected is awful, and the pain you are feeling is very understandable. 

    After many many many heartbreaks, my best advice is to feel your pain. All the pain. Don’t push it down, let it come out. Cry, be sad. 

    Sending hugs and love from the US!!!!! Hope you have a better day my friend.  ??????

  11. Day 22 things are going. I finished 2nd book since I quit gaming. The name was “the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime”. I really enjoyed this book and enjoy reading very much as well. But I almost feel as if I am using all these hobbies as an escape just as I did gaming. I need to think more about this. 

    What was beautiful about my day my kids!!!! ?????

  12. Day 19 still doing well! 

    On to the next step which is start a morning routine. I am starting out with a commitment to a morning sadhana. This exercise is 15 minutes and involves clearing the mental blockages. 

    I am excited as a started the practice today!

    what was beautiful about my day the kids had friends come over! It’s so nice how carefree everyone can be playing together. 

    Have a beautiful day!

  13. See! That’s awesome! Just remember everyone is experiencing the same mental blocks and fears as you.  You are not alone is these thoughts/feelings.  Just notice the fear, but do it anyway!!! 

    Congrats on your progress. Have a beautiful day! ?

    • Like 1
  14. Day 18 still feeling good!!! So thankful for this forum. I officially think this is the longest I have been without gaming. Although the other times I didn’t really keep track of the days or anything. 

    Feeling so proud of myself. I can do this. I am doing such a great job. This has been a huge change, and my mind body spirit are adjusting amazingly!

    what was beautiful about my day my kids! Fall color on trees. 

    • Like 2
  15. Hi!

    Just write why you want to be a doctor here and then maybe we can help you? Or at least encourage you! 

    Sometimes if you just start writing something, anything really.... eventually the right words will start to come out!

    Good luck my friend!!!!!

    • Like 1
  16. Day 17 - wow. I had a good day. No anxiety. ?

    I went to my kids school on Friday and hung out. They really enjoyed this. I find that i have much better days when I am out in the real world rather then hanging out at home. 

    Today I made yummy waffles for my kids. One of the few things i can make! Then we headed out to the park for games. There was lots of sun and being outside among friends was really nice. 

    Ive been spending a lot more time with my kids. Doing hair, reading and snuggling. It is quite nice and I being a mom is bringing me so much joy again. 

    I read some other journals and I am so proud of everyone for their productivity journals, and goals and changing habits. For me, right now, I just have this one goal of quitting gaming... and I am so proud of myself for how well I have done! 

    I mean it’s been 17 days and I am doing such a good job!

    What was beautiful about my day the kids running around the grass. Laughing. Braiding hair. Playing ball. Sun shining!

    Have a beautiful day my friends!!!

    • Like 2
  17. Hi my friend,

    I’m so sorry you had a tough time on Tinder. I would stay away from dating apps. I heard of people having nothing but bad experiences. 

    I hope you have a better day tomorrow!

    Take care. 

    • Like 2
  18. On 10/3/2019 at 5:31 PM, Tzen1 said:

    I know the feeling. I think mine came a little bit later in my detox. It got to the point where I got anti depressants just to jog my brain. I had to stop taking them after 2 days due to side effects. To me, it was the detox plus family history of it. Its a thought, but see if your familu memebers have a history of panic attacks? 

    You got this! Stick with it, making it the full 90 and beyond is worth it. I told myself after 90 I would give moderation a try. Funny enough, after my 90 days I still actually haven't plugged in my switch or hooked up my pc to play games yet. Stay strong it will all pass in time.

    Hi!!!

    Thank you my friend!! I am so sorry you experienced this too. It has been physically debilitating. 

    It is so comforting to know that I am not alone in this. We are not alone in this. 

    Have a beautiful day my friend, truly. 

    • Like 1
  19. Day 15 Haha thanks!!! I think I am on Day 15 tho. ?

    So yesterday I had a full blown panic attack. My heart was racing, my skin was cold, my skin color went white, and I felt dizzy. I sat down and a couple of people came over to me, asking if I was ok. I have never experienced anything like this and it was really scary. 

    I went home, curled up and drank some tea. My heart was racing and I could not stop it. I finally decided to take a warm epsom salt bath and within 20 minutes I felt much better. I know I am going through a lot of changes and need to be gentle with myself. 

    I also took another Epsom salt bath this morning and I feel much improved. I need to slow down.  I am doing such a great job and have already experienced so much joy. Just keep going, one day at a time. 

    What was beautiful about my day My kids. Nice long warm bath. 

    • Like 1
  20. Hi!

    i am feeling a lot of stress and anxiety as well. Not sure if this is the dopamine withdrawals? But it does not feel good. 

    So sorry you’re going thru this but glad to know we’re not alone!!!

    Have a beautiful day my friend!!!

    • Like 1
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