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Ikar
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Posts posted by Ikar
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 I'm using the template I used the last time. 27/3/24 - 10/5/24
"L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.
I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.
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Books/Reading articles/Learning:
L: Still reading the business book. Not daily, but enough to get a new idea or two from it every week. Some newsletters too, but not many.
T: I think that in the last six weeks, I've read the book once. Not because I don't want to or because it's not practical (it's quite the opposite), but because I'm always doing something else. I have been more active here though. I also went to the speaking club a few times last month.
Possible direction/goals:
(Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.
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Family:
L: Had a few family meetings, a lunch outside too.
T: I had a Easter family meeting and a trip with my brother to try out the new chairs in a showroom.
I'm making my grandma's kitchen my priority before I leave for the CELTA course in July.
SpoilerSince October, the project of my grandma's kitchen has been my responsibility. Some progress has been made, however I know that half a year is just too big of a time-frame to justify. I'm gonna lay out the plan:
Weekend of 11th/12th March: Ask my grandma to give me a "free hand" in the reconstruction of the kitchen. She was hesitant regarding the scope of the reconstruction, which made me hesitant in turn, because I didn't know what to do. I want to convince her that she has nothing to worry about and that the whole operation will be fast.
Weeks 11 and 12:
Consult my father and brother as to the design of the kitchen and use the IKEA kitchen planner to help me out. Show my grandma the plan for the kitchen at the end of week 12 and get a green light.
Weeks 13 and 14:
Go to IKEA to get the furniture and other shops for linoleum and other smaller stuff. There's no need for new electronic appliances, so there's no need to get involved with electrical thingies. Transport the furniture to my grandma's flat.
Weeks 14 and 15:
Plan a weekend with my father/brother to help out with the reconstruction. Removing old furniture, a bit of demolition, painting, putting in the new furniture. Get it done well and ASAP.
NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.
Possible direction/goals:
Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma.
Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.
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Business/English:
L: My work has been going well. I've had some good initial lessons with my students in the last couple of weeks. The uptick in my own courses has been significant. I'm likely going to cancel two agency courses. I was a bit bored after finishing the university, however the last two weeks I'm overwhelmed. I feel like I need to do a better job managing my time and prioritizing again. Maybe I could cancel all agency courses in E, but that'd probably be excessive and needlessly imbalancing. I might want to create some list of milestones I've already achieved, in the type of "past projects" below to have a better overview over the work I've done over the years, but I'll leave that for the next report.
Canceled the two agency courses. I also changed the format of some of my 60minute lessons to 55 minutes, so I won't need to jump from one meeting to another instantly. Things are still going fairly well.
T: I was away for two weeks in the last six weeks, but otherwise I can again say it's been going well. The 60/55 minute transition is going well, although I think I should be stricter in enforcing it and perhaps informing my students a bit better.
My priority for the next few weeks is to prepare for the CELTA course that starts in July. I want to work on the questionnaire part 3 in May/June as well.
Now for some statistics:
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1) I decided to dig up the records on all the students I've taught privately, either from my calendar or bank records, so I don't think anyone slipped through the cracks. I included even the smallest jobs. The results are quite interesting:
Out of all students who finished having lessons with me, since I started to call this a career, from fall 2020 to December 2023, the average study of my students with me was 6,8 months. The median (the middle student) had 3,5 months of lessons with me.
The average study of my students who are still studying with me is 7,7 months. The median is 3 months.
If I combine the categories above, it's 7,3 months for the average study. The median is again 3 months.
Takeaways:
The average student (around 7 months) will not last longer than it takes me to increase the price. I raised prices 4 times in the last 42 months, meaning I increased it once every 10,5 months. One less pressure point when negotiating for better money.
The question then of course is whether the higher prices really throttle demand or just change my target group. I've had a few students tell me they chose me also because my prices were professional. My prices are currently about 80-90% of those provided by language schools to individuals. I'm planning to close that gap this year. I managed to gather enough students over time to turn this job of mine into a fully independent living without any intermediaries.
I'm gonna consider offering lesson "packages" for the future, although I've been kinda doing that, when students pay me once a month upfront. I also think I provide good enough motivation - positive (via my approach on the lessons, bi-annual questionnaires etc.) and negative (increasing the prices regularly means students need to think whether it's something they need/want).
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2) The number below of 22 taught hours per week holds true. I calculated I also spend about 30 hours a month/7 hours a week on admin tasks (both median and average - from April 2023 to February 2024). I also spent 7 hours traveling to/from my students, regardless if I charge them for that or not (I don't charge walking but I do charge car riding 😄 ). Voila, 36 hours a week I need to pay myself for.
Of course, these are just statistics. There are a lot of things I don't see.
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22 (23) hours last week in April: Category A 74% (71); B 3% (3); C 5% (9); D 11% (11); E 7% (6). Brackets are % values from previous month/week.
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I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses:
a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging
b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group)
c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day)
d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality
e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality
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NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.
Possible direction/goals:
With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.
Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week.
Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.
Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between.
Create a learning plan for myself.
Go through "lecturer academy" materials.
Write down specific areas and what I want to do in them:
Networking and business events.
Get a system to mark down the progress of my students, together with their learning plan.
Check out business vouchers for equipment.
Past projects:
Questionnaire.
Fixed logos on my website for better visuals.
Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August).
Got minor pay raises from language schools.
Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required.
Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar.
Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls".
Lecturer academy.
Sample business contract on my website.
Google sheets system for students.
Questionnaire part 2.
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Exercise/Movement:
L: Went for walks and hiking trips with my girlfriend.
T: Went for a hiking holiday with my girlfriend in Slovenia for two weeks. Went cycling and running as well.
NOT: I don't want to become fat.
Possible direction/goals:
I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change.
Keep in shape.
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Blogging:
L: Now, blogging has a reminder in my calendar now, however it's not really an activity I could care for now. We'll see.
T: I actually got a spur of inspiration and wrote an article in two days. Wow 😄Â
Possible direction/goals:
Find a suitable UI/web template.
Set up emailing for subs.
Post two articles a month.
Polish links in articles. Interlink new articles with old ones.
Finish articles in concepts.
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What to do if I am bored?
Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters
Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, blogging
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Additional thoughts/activities:
I had somehow thought I would have more time to do "stuff" after I finished the university in January. I put on average 2-3 hours towards my thesis a day to it throughout October-January.
The thing is, I don't think I do have more time. February-April was about moving in with my girlfriend. I'm happy I did. I also had an uptick in the number of students/lessons. I'm also happy for that.
However, I have 10 things I have to/should do in my head now. I spent some 5 hours on exploring/writing this report to help me sift through it all.
Some of the things are nice and I want to do them, but I don't have the time. Some of them are important or promised, but I don't want to do them. It's OK, I am not THAT much under pressure, but I need a system to get these things done and to move forward.
My priorities for the next six weeks:
Prepare for the CELTA English teaching course that starts in six weeks.
I want to work on the questionnaire part 3 in May/June as well.
Reconstruct my grandma's kitchen.
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My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography.
This month, I did these cool activities: went for one smaller trip and one bigger holiday, finished moving, got a great new table and a new chair, went to the theater, worked on my business, hung out with friends, spent time with my girlfriend, went to the cinema, attended speakers' events, fixed my phone, spent time with my family.
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Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2024:
Main must-have plans for 2024:
Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course.
Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this.
Move in with my girlfriend in April.
Set up the new kitchen for my grandma.
Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:
Re-start my financial blog in February.
Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard.
Habits:
Stop watching porn (again).
Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room.
Establish flossing at least once a week.
Exercise regularly.
Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance.
It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.
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4 May - 8 May:
Traveled around with my girlfriend a bit more again. We cleared up some future holiday/traveling expectations and planning as well. It wasn't easy to communicate these things, but I believe we are on the same page now and we don't need to clash about it in the future. The weather wasn't as good yesterday and today, but we still managed the trips.
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On 5/3/2024 at 3:54 AM, wheatbiscuit said:
I read once of a 'successful' mindset that we should consider ourselves as all the same (and with the same 24 hours per day). When I went to a theatre drama last weekend, I tried to imagine that I had no more unique energy than the actors and actresses, or vice versa. I scared myself for a bit then, thinking that they had to be taking drugs or something between their appearances on stage.
I guess people/actors enter a trance-like experience when they perform. Sure, they have some skills we don't have, but I also think they calibrate themselves towards the performance too. I think theatre actors are mainly interested in these states/benefits and that's why they do their jobs.
On 5/4/2024 at 1:59 AM, Pochatok said:Imo, that is the myth of meritocracy, and quite plainly so. yes, we exist within the same temporality, but our privileges and abilities and experiences create differences that at times may be impassable. such a statement ignores disability, race, gender, and many other identity-based systems of separation and oppression.
yes, a lot of things are technically possible for you . but that does not necessarily mean you actually can do those things. we all need to look to our strengths, and continuously work towards personal and collective liberation, cuz that's the only way towards actually becoming more 'all the same'.Â
I'm curious. How do you understand the word "meritocracy"? What is it in your eyes? From the way I understand it, good performers get a raise, get recognition/good feedback etc.
To link up to what I wrote above, let's say I want to visit a play in a classical theatre. I pay my time (and normally some money too) and I expect a certain level of performance from the actors. They don't need to be the best and do their best on that day, but the idea here is I can't "see through them" whether they mess something up. I think if the institution put together a bunch of amateurs with little experience/little finesse/little care, I'd have every right to be unhappy with their lack of skill. I'd prefer to watch a bunch of average professionals who know their business, likely who got to the theatre play based on merit and who worked their way up from being amateurs at first.
(Note I am not arguing whether some jobs should be paid more/less or whether being a CEO is more valuable than being a regular worker.)
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19 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:
I don't think it's too much food for thought, but when someone is said to be the 'rock' in a relationship, I basically understand it to mean independence (though with the realisation they are better off in a relationship). I'm now talking out of my buttocks, but - the 'rock' might be relied upon to just exist - mostly for the other person, I guess, remembering important things about the relationship (or themselves!) and bringing them up when necessary. Concerning the idea of two 'rocks', that's just been my preference; it seems to be what my parents were like, and it can kind of feed into a 'you and me against the world' idea (and the 'illogical chaos' in it, for example). I'm trying to be more realistic though. - It's interesting because to be someone with a lot of good ideas in a relationship could be rock-like, but to remind the other that a lot of those ideas remain talk and not action is too. Me, I like to think I can notice patterns (e.g. of behaviour), but I'm reluctant to finally label a lot of them because it means I'll have to then work with those beliefs. Haha.
I get it now, thanks. Yes, I think my girlfriend and I are fairly independent-minded and I also think we both benefit from the relationship. I think it's useful to notice the patterns, as then you can parse out what you want and perhaps what you don't want as much. It's relatively easy to admit a fault within oneself, but especially difficult to start working on it though.
19 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:I keep remembering and forgetting that English isn't your only language. It's probably good because of translation in one's head versus only thinking how readers would receive some ideas, which is what would make me hesitate. The GQ forums are different because giving up gaming is probably usually an emotional affair, so I've typed plenty. I liked reading your blog, and the next time I think about the topics on it whilst out walking, I'll likely answer myself with something like what I read there. Individual brains are funny.
I keep mentioning my nationality and masking it at the same time too, so no wonder you're having trouble 😄
Blogs are different from diaries. People are usually more critical towards blogs, and they should be, as blogs are meant to influence public opinion, otherwise the writer wouldn't publish!
Diaries usually don't offer much to be criticized. People just (try to) quit games, meet friends, feed their pets and go on with their lives... In the rare case I do criticize/suggest something, I mostly do it for a) the intellectual exercise and b) to offer a perspective of someone who quit gaming 5 years ago and turned his life around.
Brains are indeed very often copycats and like easy solutions suggested by someone else 😄
I guess I still mostly agree with what I wrote back then, though as I wrote, I the texts are not practical enough for my taste now. Again, glad you liked it 🙂
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On 5/4/2024 at 12:26 AM, wheatbiscuit said:
I spent awhile to find an in to reply to - only that the idea of traveling for me now is mostly about its importance to who I'd be with. There's never a shortage of things at home that I forget to think about and then take pleasure in seeing properly. It's because a) Major insight has come slowly these days and, b) I can do trips 'within' anywhere; why leave?
It's really the same for me. I find organizing such trips stressful and mostly not worth the effort to even write others about it. I can do "my things" anywhere too, so I don't need to leave either.
I found out that "taking a break" to change my perspective on some long-term projects doesn't really work. My girlfriend rightly called me out on the fact that I talk about some things more than I actually do them. I'm more acutely aware of such unfinished business when I am on a "true" holiday than when I'm in my normal workweek.
On 5/4/2024 at 12:26 AM, wheatbiscuit said:Then there might be the whole 'rock' in the relationship deal, like the patterns of grounded-ness as opposed to who's an expert on what. I would honestly prefer to be one of two rocks, but hey. I'm curious about Europe, but I'd probably just as soon as meet someone from there online, talk at length with them and then take a bunch of recommendations and not end up searching it curiously on my own.
What do you mean by the whole "rocks" thing? I tried to get it through my head, but I'm still missing the point 😄Â
Travel recommendations are tough and I'd say pointless, unless you know what type of places you want to visit. My girlfriend loves active holidays with lots of hiking, nice nature, viewpoints and not many people. I don't think it's my passion as much as its hers, but I know that light/medium exercise (which hiking is) is good for me and I need to do it as much as possible.
The above means we need to look for nice places that are not a) overcrowded and overpriced tourist traps and b) too much for me to hike. Other people prefer to just walk from the hotel to the sea for two weeks straight. It really depends on your taste.
On 5/4/2024 at 12:26 AM, wheatbiscuit said:I just re-read your blog by the way; whenyoupostmoar? 😅
Really? Thank you! 😄
I started writing about personal finance in Czech (my native language) two-three years ago, kept the concepts, and officially launched the website in August last year or so. It's something I can combine with some philosophy, it's practical and I can share it with my friends directly, FB or even LI. Writing essays on philosophy/psychology in English is generally less relatable and I haven't had the taste to write something like that in a long time.
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29 April - 3 May:
The first day was the toughest, as we spent several hours in the car and I had a headache the next one from the experience. The trips have been nice otherwise, mostly the ones where we go to the nature. Some of the places are really beautiful.
Though I am getting a hunch that the whole traveling thing isn't my cup of tea, or definitely not something I'd do every day off. Maybe once or twice a year. But being a self-employed teacher means that I'd just never take a holiday just to spend it at home, in my usual setting. It's a tough thing to truly prioritize and to start with personal/business projects/ideas that are always put off for "later", because I just never find the time.
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19 April - 28 April:
To quickly go over the events of the past two weeks:
1) I installed my new PC station with the help of my friend and my girlfriend's father. I'm now able to stand while working and I have a 89 centimeter monitor installed. For almost a month I had only used my notebook/sofa after changing the flat at the start of April.
2) I think the flat is fully furnished now. There are just two boxes next to my PC table with papers and documents, but the rest of the boxes are away.
3) I should take advantage of the public healthcare system we have and go for a few checkups. I should look closely into the condition of my spine, my occasional head(aches) and my hearing. I just never seem to make it a priority, because none of them are acute problems.
4) I think I've been over a week or two without porn. I really haven't had the taste for it.
5) I made a blog post on my financial blog after about 8 months.
6) Went shopping for some sport clothes at the weekend. I rode some 40 kilometers on my bike yesterday on the way to my family.
7) My girlfriend and I are going to Slovenia and Italy for the next two weeks. Decided to have several lessons a week with my students online, as the last 12 months or so have been draining on my finance and I've run through my short-term financial reserve. I don't think I've been spending frivolously though, as a big part of it was investing (for into the new PC station, adjustable chair and table - it'll definitely have a positive effect on my health). The long-term reserve/investment into stocks I made mostly in 2021/2022 is +25% up. I just don't want to touch it.
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11th April - 18th April:
My girlfriend and I went to a puppet theatre last week. It was an adaptation of Orwell's Animal Farm. We enjoyed it a lot 😄
We spent Friday evening with friends. At the weekend, we also visited both my and her parents. I also had to change the wheels with winter tires for summer ones that are at my parents' house. We also cycled a bit and went to the cinema to watch a documentary.
My PC table arrived on Monday, though I can't assemble it fully without a drill. I had the CELTA interview on Tuesday and it went well. That means I should spend July trying to become a better teacher 🙂
Worked on my taxes on Wednesday. I also visited the speakers' club and attended a birthday party, so it was a good day. I fixed charging troubles I had been having with my phone yesterday. Busy week overall, but nice.
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On 4/16/2024 at 6:35 PM, pdallair91 said:
The whole process feels so tedious and futile; I feel commodified - stripped of all ideas and personality - every step of the way.Â
Sending a CV is the first (and out of necessity formal) step in applying for a job. Building rapport is for the interview itself and for the trial period. It's not personal that company X doesn't reply to your CV. Maybe their HR is overloaded. Maybe the job offer isn't current. Maybe there are some hidden conditions they don't mention. Maybe some people applied before you and they're having interviews with them before (and if) they get to you. You can't know, so there's no reason to worry about it.
What I did in the past (some 3-4 years ago) was to find companies that I felt were relevant to me as a potential employer (that is, even without them explicitly offering a job). I jammed every email adress I could find into Bcc, wrote something short, attached my CV. I did that maybe twice or thrice. I'm sure I sent out hundreds of emails this way. From all those emails, I was at around 30 interviews. Maybe 5 turned out to be profitable (gave me courses at some point) and maybe 5 others came back to me later.
But before I started that, I was also hung up on getting a response/interview/job from "that one company". Now I can turn them down, because I don't need them anymore and I have better paid courses.
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As for the dicussion about authenticity that @wheatbiscuit @Pochatok and @Vee expanded on: I found out that honesty and authenticity works great in my life. But (and this is a big BUT), there's also a lot of "catching up" to do with others, at least at first.
We've rebuilt ourselves since admitting the gaming issue. Some more, some less. Depending on how much we still identify with our "gaming past/gaming trouble", it will influence the conversations we have and the relationships we have.
We all here joined this forum, because we understood we had a serious problem. Gaming is/was our drug of choice. Even being among addicts is often troublesome on its own. Some people will damn us for that outright just out of their strange principle that we're not "normal". And even if we never had a gaming problem, people are people and some people don't like others just because.
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8th April - 10th April:
Worked on some important projects in the last few days. The new PC chairs for my brother and me arrived on Tuesday and I helped my brother to transport it and assemble it. I also ordered a new adaptable PC table, so I'll be able to stand while I work when I feel like it. I'm currently working on a few projects - CELTA certification for English teachers and finishing the furnishing of our new flat.
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On 4/9/2024 at 12:54 AM, Pochatok said:
I need to re-form my life again. Even if it is feeble and unstable of a vision, I need to have one.Â
So, today I will begin keeping track of four separate living modules: half-day plan (revised/extended in evening), 7 day aspirations, 10-week goals, and 2 year dreams.Â
Or, 7 hours, 7 days, 70 days, and 700 days. For some reason, this number has been working well for me.Â
Again, I do not want to make this public directly. However, I do want to make and publish artwork that will reflect each one of these. To keep this private is to never commit.Â
First thing that came to my mind reading your entry was your commitment to introspection and your wish to figure yourself out. It's a tough job.
What has worked for me was to find out what I don't want (to do, make or meet), gradually progress to things I want, plan ahead a little and establish a few routines (sleep, work, hygiene). And to prioritize stuff that has the biggest impact. Reading daily is nice, but it's not the biggest priority when you can't provide for yourself or don't have a sleep schedule.
Good luck with your reform 🙂Â
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2nd April - 7th April:
First week of living together with my girlfriend and I can say I am happy. A lot of the things are much easier and also smoother.
As for the events, nothing extraordinary happened. We worked on unpacking and most of the boxes are now finished. We also had to shop a bit for some smaller things for the flat. We also walked a lot.
I had some time to read through the newsletters and educate myself a little. I need to get some other more urgent projects done on time though, otherwise I can't go forward.
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On 4/4/2024 at 1:38 AM, Vee said:
I keep thinking about installing dating apps again, but I haven't done so yet.
I'll just react to this bit. Take the following for what it is: my experience. I was on/off on dating apps between ages 19-22. I even managed to start a relationship over them. Though sometimes, I easily spent more time on them than a hobby or two. Overall, I don't think it's a useful tool for people who have (or try to have) a balanced life.
On 4/4/2024 at 1:38 AM, Vee said:Ideally, I want to jog 5+ times a week, with a longer exploratory jog once a week. I'd also like to start trying park runs. There are a couple of social things I'm also interested in - aerial hoop classes nearby, and dance sessions in London. I want to at least try those, even if I don't go regularly. There's also a board game group I'd like to join.
I think these social outlets give you better chances to meet (and date) someone organically and with less effort.
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On 3/26/2024 at 12:23 AM, pdallair91 said:
The physical effects are tolerable, from home at least but I can't deny the psychological impact. At times, I do feel like I am cursed, like a bad genetic role at birth or something, given all my medical issues. I know I'm not the only one and some people have it worse but yeah, most people don't have as many medical issues as I have at this age. So, I had a minor emotional meltdown yesterday. I was so angry and sad. I happened to have a session with my psychologist and he recommended that I take this week off - he even gave me a signed letter in case I needed to show it to my manager. So, yeah... I'm taking this week off.Â
Given all the medical handicaps you have, I think it's just to give yourself a minute and recognize the fact that you've made it so far. Maybe you have bad genes, but you are still willing to fight the odds. That's courage.
On 4/1/2024 at 2:47 AM, pdallair91 said:I always struggled to nurture this sense of belonging. It feels daunting just to make plans and following through often leaves me feeling exhausted and disatisfied.  What I crave, I suppose, is reliable intimacy and affection, something I shouldn't expect right from the beginning in my culture. It takes time to build bonds. It's almost like you have to "just be there" when someone is accidentally vulnerable to prove you won't take advantage of them. IDK, maybe most people just don't feel the need to be heard and valued as strongly as I do. ... *sigh*... it takes time but it's possible.
I need to go out more. I've said this many times but yeah... I need to take the time to cultivate more experiences in other areas so that I can share them. I need to meet people that I can share my experiences with. I've already done this at other times in my life, to a lesser degree, in improv and board games. To truly beat it, I need to persevere through the fear of rejection and abandonment, I need to prove my pessimistic assumptions wrong... I signed up for a casual improv night this week but I need to look into doing more activities. I should try going to the office sometime this week as well. It's much easier to strike up a casual conversation there than when I am at home.
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22 hours ago, pdallair91 said:Anyways... I'm gonna try to be careful and even though I haven't completely abstained yet, I will do my best to avoid going down the binge-gaming path. I have some paperwork to do, and I have to go job hunting again soon while I can still afford to live. Wish me luck fellows.
I think it's great that you decided on the social outlets and I hope you'll continue them even during your period of unemployment. Being alone is no good, especially during vulnerable and life-changing moments.
As for the practical things, I'd definitely check the work contract to find out more about the severance. If you think there's anything shady, you can consult a lawyer. I had doubts about the interpretation of a Czech legal document. I looked up some pro bono online lawyer consulting and they helped me out. All I paid was 4€ to check whether I needed to pay over 1000€ or not. Pretty good ROI if you ask me 😄
As for unemployment, there are the unemployment benefits, sure, but consider checking for other sources of welfare too. Czechia has a system, that if the expenses for housing exceed 1/3 of your total monthly income, the state covers some of the exceeding amount. I'm sure Canada will have something similar too.
Don't give up! Good luck.
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Thanks for bringing it up. Myself, I don't have ADHD, but I do have several autistic traits.
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On 4/1/2024 at 6:41 AM, BooksandTrees said:
I didn't realize it's been a month. My baby is home after 2 months in the hospital. He's ok and healthy. I'm very grateful and I love him more than anything in the world. My wife is ok I think.Â
I'm struggling. That's all I have time to write at the moment. I just haven't healed fully from what happened, the trauma of being in the hospital for 2 months, and then everyone wanting to see him at home and not realizing he was very sick. His feeding is emotionally difficult now because he's cluster feeding and screams when hungry.Â
Unfortunately, his screams forever remind me of some of the screams he made in the hospital when he was sick. I can't help but remember those difficult times. I've never felt so helpless.
It's not all bad though. He's cute, warm, loving, funny, smart, loves napping on me, loves when we sing, makes funny noises, and just fills my heart with a love I didn't know I had. I'd give him the world if I could.Â
Lots of emotional Ups and downs I'm learning. I'm always worried my wife is ok. She's finally seeing a therapist this week. I'm so glad. It's hard not to forget that she almost died as well. And when she cries at home, I remember her cries during the 2 months at the hospital. And there's just some days I can't help. Another wave of helplessness. But she's strong and persevering. I love her very much.Â
It's beautiful that you care about your wife and child so much. I can't imagine how exhausting and extremely stressful it must be. I hope you can recover some energy, so you can give it to your family further. Respect to you for navigating so well this far!
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13 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
It's ok. Be kind to yourself and look back at your journey for strength.Â
Thanks for the encouragement. I'm gonna put some time into taking care of myself now. Wrote more about the situation below.
28th March - 1st April:
My girlfriend and I went for a trip for a few days. We visited a few towns and nature around them. The issue was that the day before we left, I started feeling ill and had stomach problems. It wasn't nearly enough to take me out completely and to cancel the trip, but I felt tired and weak for the whole trip.
With all that, I also had to deal with my girlfriend being active; active in the way of using her time during holidays. We went on hikes and I think we managed everything as planned, although I couldn't exactly keep up with her 100. She had a tough time waiting for me sometimes and I had a tough time keeping up with her too.
Regardless, it led us to a dicussion of spending bigger blocks of free time together. I'd say I'm active in my free time as well, just in a different way than she is. If I had a free day tomorrow, I'd spend it on catching up on errands in the morning, reading, spending some time on my work and hobbies and meeting with a friend in the evening. If she had it, she'd probably go for a morning-evening trip to the mountains. I just feel like she often rushes off for holidays to escape the reality of her unfulfilling job, while my holidays are more balanced in nature and I don't need big shifts of activities too often.
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 I'm using the template I used the last time. 2/3/24 - 27/3/24
"L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.
I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.
Â
Books/Reading articles/Learning:
L: Back to reading the business book, although I haven't read for over a week, as I was just so busy.
T: Still reading the business book. Not daily, but enough to get a new idea or two from it every week. Some newsletters too, but not many.
Possible direction/goals:
(Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.
Â
Family:
L: I met with my father for lunch a few days ago. My brother helped me assemble a new computer a few weeks ago. I'm also receiving some tips regarding the new flat and the stuff in it (Internet, furniture etc.)
T: Had a few family meetings, a lunch outside too.
SpoilerSince October, the project of my grandma's kitchen has been my responsibility. Some progress has been made, however I know that half a year is just too big of a time-frame to justify. I'm gonna lay out the plan:
Weekend of 11th/12th March: Ask my grandma to give me a "free hand" in the reconstruction of the kitchen. She was hesitant regarding the scope of the reconstruction, which made me hesitant in turn, because I didn't know what to do. I want to convince her that she has nothing to worry about and that the whole operation will be fast.
Weeks 11 and 12:
Consult my father and brother as to the design of the kitchen and use the IKEA kitchen planner to help me out. Show my grandma the plan for the kitchen at the end of week 12 and get a green light.
Weeks 13 and 14:
Go to IKEA to get the furniture and other shops for linoleum and other smaller stuff. There's no need for new electronic appliances, so there's no need to get involved with electrical thingies. Transport the furniture to my grandma's flat.
Weeks 14 and 15:
Plan a weekend with my father/brother to help out with the reconstruction. Removing old furniture, a bit of demolition, painting, putting in the new furniture. Get it done well and ASAP.
NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.
Possible direction/goals:
Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma.
Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.
Â
Business/English:
L: My work has been going well. I've had some good initial lessons with my students in the last couple of weeks. The uptick in my own courses has been significant. I'm likely going to cancel two agency courses. I was a bit bored after finishing the university, however the last two weeks I'm overwhelmed. I feel like I need to do a better job managing my time and prioritizing again. Maybe I could cancel all agency courses in E, but that'd probably be excessive and needlessly imbalancing. I might want to create some list of milestones I've already achieved, in the type of "past projects" below to have a better overview over the work I've done over the years, but I'll leave that for the next report.
T: Canceled the two agency courses. I also changed the format of some of my 60minute lessons to 55 minutes, so I won't need to jump from one meeting to another instantly. Things are still going fairly well.
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An example for 23 hours last week: Category A 71% (66); B 3% (4); C 9% (0); D 11% (12); E 6% (18). Brackets are % values from previous month.
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I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses:
a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging
b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group)
c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day)
d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality
e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality
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NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.
Possible direction/goals:
With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.
Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week.
Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.
Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between.
Create a learning plan for myself.
Go through "lecturer academy" materials.
Write down specific areas and what I want to do in them:
Networking and business events.
Get a system to mark down the progress of my students, together with their learning plan.
Check out business vouchers for equipment.
Past projects:
Questionnaire.
Fixed logos on my website for better visuals.
Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August).
Got minor pay raises from language schools.
Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required.
Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar.
Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls".
Lecturer academy.
Sample business contract on my website.
Google sheets system for students.
Questionnaire part 2.
Â
Exercise/Movement:
L: Went for walks and a cycling trip with my girlfriend.
T: Went for walks and hiking trips with my girlfriend.
NOT: I don't want to become fat.
Possible direction/goals:
I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change.
Keep in shape.
Â
Blogging:
L: Now, blogging has a reminder in my calendar now, however it's not really an activity I could care for now. We'll see.
T: -
Possible direction/goals:
Find a suitable UI/web template.
Set up emailing for subs.
Post two articles a month.
Polish links in articles. Interlink new articles with old ones.
Finish articles in concepts.
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What to do if I am bored?
Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters
Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, blogging
Â
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Additional thoughts/activities:
My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography.
This month, I did these cool activities: playing at the table football tournament, starting lessons with new students, furnishing a new flat, going for hikes, reading the business book, spending time with my family for lunch/at the weekend, spending time with friends.
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Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2024:
Main must-have plans for 2024:
Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course.
Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this.
Move in with my girlfriend in April.
Set up the new kitchen for my grandma.
Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:
Re-start my financial blog in February.
Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard.
Habits:
Stop watching porn (again).
Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room.
Establish flossing at least once a week.
Exercise regularly.
Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance.
It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.
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22nd March - 26th March:
The last few days have been tough on me mentally. I think the main reason has been the stress induced by the whole moving process. My girlfriend is capable in these things, but I feel like I am not performing well enough, which is frustrating, because I'd like to be able to help her out more. Tomorrow I will sleep in the new apartment for the first time at last.
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18th March - 21st March:
The workweek has been going well. We got new furniture for our flat on Tuesday. I went to the speaking club on Wednesday and also had lunch with mom and brother. I haven't found time to read, but I want to read a bit later today. Gonna visit my family tomorrow and assemble new furniture on Sunday.
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15th March - 17th March:
On Friday, I had lessons as usual and after that my girlfriend and I went to get mattresses for our new flat. After that, we hung out with her sister and had a good time. I spent yesterday mostly by myself; preparing for the next week, reading and working on my business. Today, my girlfriend and I went for a trip to another town and I spent some time on myself too.
I also got tickets for Dire Straits, as they'll have a show in my city in about a month. I'm fairly excited about that 😄Â
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7th March - 14th March:
A few things happened; my girlfriend and I got a new mattress for our flat and the internet is also up. We also went for a trip on Saturday and I visited my family on Sunday. Met a few friends too.
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I started reading again, though not daily. I have some free time these days to use for my work, but I also need to relax and allow myself to be bored. I need to figure out an email to some of my students regarding the duration of our lessons.
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2nd March - 6th March:
I finally managed to clean out my "urgent" to-do list today, so I am taking some time to write here. I had a lot of stuff to do, but I decided to take it in an order of importance over a few days, so I wouldn't be stressed.
I spent time with my girlfriend, cycled, did some stuff around the new flat and visited her parents. I had two feedback lessons of English with older teachers, had lessons with new students and canceled the courses I was planning on canceling. My friend and I also went to a table football tournament on Monday and completely smashed through it 16-0, without losing a single round, though the competition was tough as usual and some of the matches were very close. Today I also went to the speakers' club and presented my first longer speech and although I think my preparation could've been better, it was still fairly successful.
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 I'm using the template I used the last time. 24/1/24 - 2/3/24
"L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.
I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.
Â
Books/Reading articles/Learning:
L: I unsubbed from a lot of email newsletters several weeks ago, so I get very little nowadays. No time for reading; if I read, I read uni-related materials. I want to get back to the business book after I am done with my exams.
T: Back to reading the business book, although I haven't read for over a week, as I was just so busy.
Possible direction/goals:
(Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.
Â
Family:
L: I spent two days with my family over Christmas and introduced my girlfriend to my parents. I also met for sushi with my brother several days ago.
T: I met with my father for lunch a few days ago. My brother helped me assemble a new computer a few weeks ago. I'm also receiving some tips regarding the new flat and the stuff in it (Internet, furniture etc.)
SpoilerSince October, the project of my grandma's kitchen has been my responsibility. Some progress has been made, however I know that half a year is just too big of a time-frame to justify. I'm gonna lay out the plan:
Weekend of 11th/12th March: Ask my grandma to give me a "free hand" in the reconstruction of the kitchen. She was hesitant regarding the scope of the reconstruction, which made me hesitant in turn, because I didn't know what to do. I want to convince her that she has nothing to worry about and that the whole operation will be fast.
Weeks 11 and 12:
Consult my father and brother as to the design of the kitchen and use the IKEA kitchen planner to help me out. Show my grandma the plan for the kitchen at the end of week 12 and get a green light.
Weeks 13 and 14:
Go to IKEA to get the furniture and other shops for linoleum and other smaller stuff. There's no need for new electronic appliances, so there's no need to get involved with electrical thingies. Transport the furniture to my grandma's flat.
Weeks 14 and 15:
Plan a weekend with my father/brother to help out with the reconstruction. Removing old furniture, a bit of demolition, painting, putting in the new furniture. Get it done well and ASAP.
NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.
Possible direction/goals:
Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma.
Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.
Â
University:
L: I ranted about the thesis a little bit in my post above, but if I really had to submit it in 24 hours, I could. I just want it to be cohesive and well-written and that takes time. I've been working on it anywhere between 2-5 hours daily, sometimes I threw in an afternoon session too. Some 17 days are left to submit it.
I was in a somewhat resigned mood the last few days before the submission date on 8th January. That was because my tutor came up with quite a few ideas what to change/fix/do better. I honestly wasn't in the mood to spend my whole weekend on that, so I just dealt with the most pressing issues and submitted the thesis. Regardless, I'm happy that he did give me the feedback. I got a B from him and B from my opponent a few days ago, so I am happy.
I've been studying for the exams the past two weeks. As I wrote in the post above, I've had some ups and downs and I know it's not possible/constructive for me to study all day, but at the moment I feel positive.
T: Finished. I still feel somewhat positive even after a month. To evaluate: The profs at the exam were OK, though I wish the testing of competences was done in a different way. I don't need to care about it anymore though. I'm going to
removethis section for the next report; I added "learning" as a part of "reading", so whenever I educate myself on something in the future, it'll be there.NOT: I don't want to drop out of the university.
Possible direction/goals:
Do the main part of my diploma in summer/autumn 2023 and do the defense and finals in January/February 2024.
Work on the assignments in a timely manner.
Â
Business/English:
L: I will have two new courses in January and one new in February, all of them my own (A). I went back to my reports, pulled the numbers that I write every month and construed a graph for the year. I've had less hours since July, though at the same time the share of my own students went up. The last quarter of the year wasn't as successful for me, though March-June were especially strong. The new students in January/February should bring the hours up as well as A share above 60%. I'll use this in my all-year report for sure!
I've finished the second round of my biannual questionnaire. Got some good feedback from my students and a few ideas for the future. I'm gonna rework it a bit for the third edition too. I might want to create some list of milestones I've already achieved, in the type of "past projects" below to have a better overview over the work I've done over the years, but I'll leave that for the next report.
T: My work has been going well. I've had some good initial lessons with my students in the last couple of weeks. The uptick in my own courses has been significant. I'm likely going to cancel two agency courses. I was a bit bored after finishing the university, however the last two weeks I'm overwhelmed. I feel like I need to do a better job managing my time and prioritizing again. Maybe I could cancel all agency courses in E, but that'd probably be excessive and needlessly imbalancing.
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An example for 21 hours last week: Category A 66% (49); B 4% (5); C 0% (6); D 12% (6); E 18% (33). Brackets are % values from previous month.
-
I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses:
a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging
b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group)
c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day)
d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality
e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality
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NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.
Possible direction/goals:
With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.
Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week.
Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.
Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between.
Create a learning plan for myself.
Go through "lecturer academy" materials.
Write down specific areas and what I want to do in them:
Networking and business events.
Get a system to mark down the progress of my students, together with their learning plan.
Check out business vouchers for equipment.
Past projects:
Questionnaire.
Fixed logos on my website for better visuals.
Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August).
Got minor pay raises from language schools.
Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required.
Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar.
Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls".
Lecturer academy.
Sample business contract on my website.
Google sheets system for students.
Questionnaire part 2.
Â
Exercise/Movement:
L: Nothing special, though a lot of walks.
T: Went for walks and a cycling trip with my girlfriend.
NOT: I don't want to become fat.
Possible direction/goals:
I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change.
Keep in shape.
Â
Blogging:
L: I haven't had time to even think about blogging with everything that was going on, although I do have a half-way written article in the works that I could publish soon. On hold until I finish the uni thesis.
T: Now, blogging has a reminder in my calendar now, however it's not really an activity I could care for now. We'll see.
Possible direction/goals:
Find a suitable UI/web template.
Set up emailing for subs.
Post two articles a month.
Polish links in articles. Interlink new articles with old ones.
Finish articles in concepts.
Â
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Â
What to do if I am bored?
Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters
Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, blogging, diploma thesis
Â
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Â
Additional thoughts/activities:
My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography.
This month, I did these cool activities: spending time on the GQ forum, had multiple good events with friends, moving/renting a new flat, assembling a new computer with my brother, meeting a career coach, going to the theater twice, going to a cycling trip with my girlfriend, attending the speakers club, playing billiard.
Â
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Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2024:
Main must-have plans for 2024:
Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course.
Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this.
Move in with my girlfriend in April.
Set up the new kitchen for my grandma.
Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:
Re-start my financial blog in February.
Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard.
Habits:
Stop watching porn (again).
Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room.
Establish flossing at least once a week.
Exercise regularly.
Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance.
It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.
Ikar's Diary
in Daily Journals
Posted
11 May - 16 May:
I spent most of 11 May (Saturday) writing my report and organizing myself for days to come. I think I got some good work done overall, or at least started on the projects:
1) I visited my family on Sunday. We went through the next moves regarding my grandma's kitchen. I want to do something, but intelligently and not in a rush.
2) I visited my general practitioner on Monday, asked for and got vouchers to visit four other inspections: two X-rays (one of my feet and one of my thorax), to a proctologist and an ear doctor. I have four or five inspections coming in the next week; I'm also going to visit my dentist. Also used a dishwasher for the first time in my life, though we don't have that many dishes to fill it 😄Â
3) Finished filing my taxes on Tuesday.
4) "Researched" a surprise for my girlfriend - a skating course on Wednesday. Also looked into getting us mosquito nets for windows. Both are still in process. Went to my mom's exhibition of paintings in the evening.
5) Had 7 courses of English on Thursday (yesterday), so I didn't have much time to do anything else.
6) On top of that, the usual stuff.
Sadly, I also watched porn three times after being clean for about a month. I reached out to my girlfriend who in turn reached our to her therapist, whom she meets for specialized support to deal with her eating disorder/bulimia.