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Ashley K.

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Everything posted by Ashley K.

  1. Day 3 (Aug 30th): I never got a chance to put in an entry yesterday so here it is . Yesterday I was feeling depressed because I kept thinking about how everyone was making progress and I felt like I wasn't. I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to get any further and I'll just end up relapsing and not care anymore. But then something told me to keep going because it's only the beginning and if I was going to give up now it'll be all for nothing. Even though my husband doesn't want to quit, which is fine, I asked him if he wanted to go to the library the next day. He said he would but there wouldn't be anything to do there. I looked at him a little confused because I figured it was a place where he would be somewhat interested in reading but he just said he doesn't want to. I pushed it a little and asked him why, and he got a little annoyed and said why was I starting with him. I wasn't trying to start anything but I just wanted to do something together that didn't involve talking about video games all the time like we used to. All I know is that I don't want to give up when I have so much to live for and do with my life in order to give my kids a better life.
  2. Day 2: Woke up feeling alright I guess. Lacking the motivation today to do anything. Whenever this happens I end up playing video games. Time management is not something I'm used to doing. I always just wing it throughout my day. I used to write down a To-Do list, I never follow through on it because I look at it the next day and I just lose all sense of motivation to finish anything. So I just revert back to playing video games because it's easier. So my struggle today is lack of motivation and discipline to do anything but just sit around and stare at the walls. I feel so tired.
  3. I've already spoken to him about quitting before and he has said that he can stop playing whenever he wants to because he's not an addict.
  4. Sorry for such a late reply. It's really helpful to read this and to try and stay motivated. Thank you.
  5. DAY 1: I've decided to track my progress on here. I was a little hesitant to do so because you know how people are. They become judgmental about what you believe in and the things you want to do with your life. Well I know what I want but my struggle is trying to find a way to do it without sabotaging myself. I was playing league of legends yesterday and while I sat there watching my son play his educational games on my laptop, I realized that I couldn't keep going on the way I was. It can be 10 years down the road where it'll just be same shit, different day, in which this case playing video games. I believe that this will be beneficial in the long run. I'm not sure what I can do about my husband playing video games. As he says it's easy for him to stop playing whenever he wanted to. I don't believe it. I'm scared of relapsing, betraying my chances to try and make a difference with myself. I've always held myself back because I would revert to my comfort zone. Well It's time for me to break free of that and just go all in.
  6. No, he likes to play and he says its easy for him to stop playing
  7. My name is Ashley I'm 27 years old and have been playing video games since I was 5. I'm also a mother of a 5 year old boy and another on the way so lately I've been playing. It's hard to stop when my husband also plays video games (we mostly play League of Legends). Someday I would hope to become a graphic designer but I know that if I keep playing I won't make it. Along with the fact that since I have children, I need to put them first. Hopefully I can find a way to stop, but I don't know where to start.