Hey Vera,
edit - sorry its long, but its worth it. other people are going through similar things. i resorted to helping them. - it really makes a difference each day you are away from a game. find something you love to do and expand on that. work on yourself ❤️
Here's something that may help.
Have a look, understand and analyse your situation. Its easier than you think.
Hope you find something out of this, and good luck x