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AndrewPekarsky

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About AndrewPekarsky

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  1. 1) I've never been able to establish a journaling habit. 2) I am starting a youtube channel. Fitness helps a lot because of the noticeable improvement. Still looking for something competitive. 3) This depends on your responsibilities and desired life style. For example, if you want to workout in the morning to start your day off hard, your sleep schedule will differ radically from someone who doesn't. 4) I highly recommend Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Bonus: I would look internally for the answers to these questions. You need to find a schedule and activities that serve your needs instead of copy and pasting from overs. For example, when you journal should be based on what you want to get out of journaling. If you want reflective insights, journal at the end of the day. If you want motivation to conquer your day, journal at the beginning.
  2. Hello all! My name is Andrew and I have come back here after a long and destructive relapse. Gaming had ceased to be an important aspect of my life for years until a couple of traumatic events coupled with the isolation of the pandemic forced me back into its embrace. The relapse was deliberate and planned. I purchased a new computer with the intention of renewing something I remembered fondly as an engaging and fun hobby. What I got was a parasite which quickly devoured my will to study, socialize, and pursue excellence of any nature. Over four months my gaming ramped up from around 2-3 hours a day to around 8. I even dropped university courses to accommodate my game time (there were over motivations, however, gaming certainly factored into the equation). Initially, the gaming was satisfying for all the reasons you can imagine it was. I was able to quickly achieve, ranking up in online games and winning matches at a rate no real life accomplishments can be made. I was also able to meet people at an astonishing rate, making friendships with the ease and speed that is impossible in real life. Despite this, these experiences felt hollow, and eventually the knowledge that I was simply engaging in a great escape from real life led me to quit. The last straw was when I met a fellow named Alex whose current life can be summarized by waking up, smoking some pot, and playing games all day while the government cheuques come raining in. This was a wake up call, and I was revolted at the thought that this could easily be me if I continue along this trajectory. Hence, I am here to stay. I never want to return to this dark addiction. I am going to embark on a journey of self-development to build character and resolve.
  3. Gonna be a short first reflective post. Up to the point of this post, my day was extremely unproductive. I spent my time watching Netflix and lounging on my couch, things that are hard to avoid when your leg is in an immobilizing brace. On the bright side, I rallied myself in the second half of the day and got a bit of work done. I'm still ahead of my university courses so the hit I took from today's laxness was purely moral, but I expect more from myself. Tomorrow I plan to make up for it twofold. With the aid of a new mobile brace, I'll reassert myself and try to get back some of the momentum that this injury stole from me.
  4. That first one rings so true it hurts. It's painful just how remarkable yet weak people can be.
  5. Hey Guys, I'm starting a new more severe challenge and as such think it's fitting to start a new journal. I believe my previous failure is at least partially due to many other negative things in my life, making gaming impossible to quite in the presence of all these other things. Many of these include recreational habits, but I think subtle lifestyle features like my diet also effects my ability to abstain. To remedy this my challenge will be super invasive almost to the point of becoming a new lifestyle. The abstentions features will include: No gaming No Fap hard mode No Videos of any sort No social media The lifestyle features will include No desert foods (I know it's not well defined but I'm just going to try to avoid taking in excess processed sugar) Also going to eat something every 2 hours I'll add in a fitness component when my knee is usable (dislocated it a few days ago) Other things I plan to do is write a reflective post about my day at the end of a day and a day plan at the beginning. Also meditating at least 5 minutes in the morning and before bed will be mandatory. If I breach any of these rules it will be considered a relapse at which time I will switch back to my old flip phone as punishment. A second relapse means I have to trade computers with my grandma (trust me this is prime motivation) Alright guys I'm starting this now, wish me luck
  6. Alright guys so I think I need to let go of Netflix and youtube if I want to find any success in a gaming detox. The issue for me is that using these other platforms generates the same feeling of self-loathing, and I just cannot respect myself while wasting hours on these platforms and respect is key when changing habits. I'm going to start a new journal with a well-defined challenge and goal. This first attempt has been an epic fail, but I'll come back stronger.
  7. Relapsed again...... This leg's really giving me a hard time. Usually when my mind starts to wander I'm able to steady myself with something physical, but since I can hardly move now its become a purely mental battle. What this failure has revealed to me is that I have shockingly poor mental resilience and I probably need to start meditating or something. Anyways gonna try getting some work done but I'm not optimistic this feels like a losing battle.
  8. Watched some twitch this morning..... Quite disappointed with myself but it's extremely difficult to maintain my discipline when moving a few meters can prove a challenge. Anyways I'm focused now, gonna prepare for an exam tomorrow once again work on a term paper. Don't forget boys morning is often the most vulnerable time for us and it's extremely important to find your goal for the day as soon as possible.
  9. I wish I had the courage to put it back in myself. As a consequence, I probably had to endure the most painful experience of my life when being dragged down a flight of stairs to the waiting ambulance. Anyways I'm already out and chilling with my new knee brace.
  10. So disaster struck yesterday in a quite monumental way. I was just minding my business, deep in a phone conversation with my girlfriend, and suddenly my knee decided to slip out of its socket. Yep, just bam! I looked down and it was twisted in a 90degree angle. On the bright side it helped with some strong night time urges sooooo I guess I should be thanking my shit knees:) Anyways my plan for today is to get a start on another term paper and study for an exam on Monday. Peace boys
  11. My plan for today: Study Geography until I have a concrete understanding of everything on the exam prep sheet, do at least 2 history readings, find an essay topic for modern warfare, and workout.
  12. I've returned after a hiatus filled with unproductive binges and mental degradation. Seriously I assumed I would burn out after maybe a month, but this time around it only took me a week to lapse back into my old habits. Somehow it hasn't affected my schooling, but I can kind of feel my charisma fading. That's why I really need to keep up this journal, in fact, I'm going to post a daily plan every morning just to hold myself accountable for the rest of the day.
  13. Hey guys I'll keep this brief because honestly I'm posting this to keep myself accountable rather then spew some wisdom. I relapsed in both my no gaming and nofap challenges today because I got a glimpse of freedom and decided to slack off. I wrote my last exam yesterday and now I'm on reading break so I let my discipline slip. It won't happen again in the same fashion; I'll make sure to leave the house early tomorrow so I can focus.
  14. Have to keep this one short because of an exam tomorrow. Today was quite good, managed to get 100% on my last test and spent some quality time with my girlfriend. I slipped up in the morning by catching up with some of the results from the Cs go major. I can't take this lightly, it's always the esport side of things that triggers my hunger to play so I installed blockers on my laptop. Hopefully it'll steer me clear of danger.
  15. Day two went quite well. Focus could be improved but other than that I got out of the house and spent the whole day studying. What I noticed today was my emotions felt stronger, an indication that the brain fog is starting to lift and I can once again feel the natural cues that my brain is giving me. I have to seriously watch this because the first week of no fap and no gaming for me is usually characterized by a rise in aggression and irritation. I'll cut this one short because I have nothing serious to report, but I'm feeling pumped.