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Posts posted by karabas

  1. Oh shit man, I'm sorry to hear about this!

    Look, I know it's a big loss and disappointment right now, but it could also be a strong motivator to get back into it. Was this internship the only product of the past year+ that you've been killing it since you stopped gaming?

    I highly doubt it. You gained so much. You learned just how much you can do. It's a set back. A bad one. But you can get come out stronger than before.

    My last relapse a year ago finished after I got nearly fired by a client I really enjoy working with. It set me straight and enabled me to find the motivation to quit games. Haven't gamed since. Maybe this your moment. 

    • Like 1

  2. Hey guys,

    It's been a while, clearly. It hasn't been super bad or super good. I finally deleted my phone games, downloaded an app lock, locked my app store, and had my wife pick a password. Yes, I can probably hack the system to install more stuff, but for it's been enough to keep away from games for the past 2-3 weeks.

    I did have a brief relapse with phone games when I went for a trip and had to unlock the app store, but I found that I now found these games boring. Crazy how getting out of an addictive behavior works!

    I haven't been able to really move forward with not watching videos. I'm neither here nor there. Since our latest move, we now live in a studio, so my wife's usually around and I'm embarrassed to watch stuff in front of her. So it's been minimal enough that it doesn't take over my life. I don't go to bed late. I still get my work done.

    The problem, of course, is that it does still eat up my time. By the end of the day, I look back and I wonder where several hours went - and it's down to stupid crap like watching random YT videos, surfing Facebook (which I hate), and otherwise reading stuff I'm not actually that interested about.

    It's a problem, but I guess it's not a severe enough problem for me to get the motivation to finally kick these habits for good. Dunno what to do about that.

    On the flip side, I've been experiencing the strongest cravings for playing actual computer games in the 14 months (wow, it's been that long!) since I've last gamed. There's one particular one that's out that looks really interesting, and I keep thinking "oh, i can just game a little on the side, no biggie". Yeah, right. If I start gaming, I know I'm not coming out of my room for anything for the next month.


    I re-read my post from when I last quit. That helped me a bit. So far I've been holding off despite the strong urge. I just keep thinking about how much is on the line: my work, income, business, family life, health (I've finally started a decent semi-regular fitness routine), etc. I really don't want to screw things up now.

    I'm hoping a few days of these cravings and they'll go away. Can't last forever, right?

  3. Day 2/120

    No comp games: ✔️
    No mobile games: ✔️ 2/120
    No excessive video-watching: X
    No phone in washroom: X

    Well, I somehow managed to stay off of mobile games! It was a close call, more than a few times. But I still can't stop bringing my phone with me to the washroom. Why?? I have no idea.

    Hopefully it'll get better from here.

    • Like 1

  4. On 9/9/2019 at 10:19 PM, Lea said:

    It's great so far, though there are ups and downs. As for now, I take a semester off, so I would not not be in uni until next year February/March.

    Ah, those can come in handy. And ups and downs are natural in this process ? Hope you enjoy your time off! What's your plan for this period?

    On 9/10/2019 at 11:52 AM, Deku said:

    Welcome back!! I missed you out here! Can't wait to see how part 3 goes.

    Thanks man! Missed you as well! Here's to hoping this goes well... I feel like I haven't had any real movement on my detox since August of last year...

    • Like 1

  5. Yeah, so it's been quiet from me because I somehow keep relapsing on this particular stupid android game. I think it takes up a good 2 hours of my time a day and I just now spent 1.5 hours in a particularly-long multiplayer slugfest that I had to eventually quit because I just got sick of it.

    This is really starting to annoy me. I'm wasting my time on really stupid stuff now - at least computer games are in-depth and require a good amount of learning, skill, etc... this stuff is pretty dumb and mostly luck-dependent.

    So I'm re-committing myself to the detox above. I'm not really sure what else to do except try it again. I recently started rock-climbing and proceeded to injure myself on my first real day in the gym, so now I think I'm gonna be stuck recovering for a week or two, which sucks, as the activity was helping me stay away from this stuff.

    Anyway... let's see what happens.

  6. Day 2/120

    No comp games: ✔️
    No mobile games: ✔️ 2/120
    No excessive video-watching: X
    No phone in washroom: ✔️2/120

    It looks like getting rid of phone games made me go back to watching vids. But it's not super bad at the moment, hoping I can get it under control.

    15 hours ago, Lea said:

    Hi @karabas, it's been long since I talked with you. How are things so far?

    On 9/7/2019 at 1:12 AM, karabas said:

    Hey! Yeah it's been a while ? Things are good, how about you?

    16 hours ago, Lea said:

    That's great, not a lot of gamers who want to quit could have the opportunity (like you have) to surround themselves with mindsets similar with yours.

    Yeah, I'm looking forward to 2 years of this!

    • Like 2

  7. Props on starting the journal up again. I think the anger at oneself is necessary to get motivation to quit. It's definitely been an important factor for me, but it does wear off after some time.

    But this is the thing about gaming: it distracts one from one's responsibilities, as well from other things we could be doing. I ask myself: how much more money could I have earned, how many more languages could I be speaking, how much better of a person I could've been, if I didn't game but instead spent that time productively? And the answer is super scary.

    I'd suggest a couple of things:

    1) As you go through the detox, pay attention to your feelings. Once cravings kick in, try to analyze why they happen & why do you feel the urge to game? It's different for different people: distraction for some, achievement for others, competitiveness for yet another group... etc

    2) Picture the improved you: where would you like to be in a year, 5 years, 10 years, etc? If you can't get there while gaming, it'll help a lot.

    All the best!

    • Like 1

  8. I kinda abandoned my last journal, mostly because I went to see my family back home & obviously relapsed hard on shows and other stupid nonsense. Then I was basically traveling for nearly 2 months straight and didn't have the time or energy to keep up anything.

    But things have been overall not bad. I still haven't played any computer games, so it's now been over a year since I last touched one of those. That's a huge win, and I think the biggest factor was letting go of my ~$500 Steam account. I rarely get cravings anymore even. I have been here and there with mobile games & that's something I need to work on.

    There's been a major update in my life: my wife got into a graduate program at a uni, so we once again did a trans-continental move. Finance-wise things will be a lot tighter in the new place and we're living in a studio-ish apartment (it's got a tiny 2nd room that fits a desk and not much else). But it's actually good for several reasons: I'm now surrounded by pretty committed students all around me and it's making me more committed to doing something with my life myself. Also, my desk is now out in the open. I can't secretly do crap aside from when my wife is in class, so I'm a lot less tempted to do stupid things.

    Movies, TV, and YouTube have not been an issue for the last two months. I'm not really sure why. I think it's probably because I've been so busy with the move that I've always had something better to do. I'm really happy for them not to be an issue, since games & shows have been my primary addiction fuel. I'm not very confident that I'll be able to maintain this, because at some point life will settle down a bit and I'll probably have more opportunity to waste time. Which is why I'm starting this journal up again.

    So here's what I want to accomplish with this journal:

    - Maintain my game & vid-free streak. I'll allow myself an occasional video to watch, but no more than 1 and nothing actually harmful (like gaming vids, news, and other stuff that sucks you in). No getting stuck on YT for hours.

    - No more phone in the washroom. This has been tripping me up a lot lately and wasting more time than it should.

    - No mobile games.

    I have some "positive" habits that I want to work on as well, but I'll keep things easy for now and will focus on what I should NOT do. I feel like right now, none of the above requires a LOT of willpower (although there's a particular mobile game that's been eating up a lot of my time as of late).

    I think that's it. I've come a long way already, and if I can do the above goals for 120 days, I think my life will be in a very good place overall.

    But success is only with and through God.

    • Like 3

  9. Day 14/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 
    No phone in washroom 0/120
    20 mins of Qur'an 9/120

    Gah, I relapsed on my phone in the washroom thing because I'm really into this book that I'm reading on my phone. Oh well. Not the worst situation. Videos and such are under control for now.

    Qur'an has been better, but still shaky. Not a habit yet, but I think part of that is that I don't have a daily schedule. Still transitioning after Ramadan - and honestly, I'm traveling soon, so that'll tweak my schedule again.

  10. Right on man. I was reflecting on this after your post: I really think being alone is the main reason people struggle with addictions, low willpower, depression, etc.

    I live in a developing country where people still keep family & friendship ties (because they're not always on their phones/computers... because most of them can't afford them) and I've long ago noticed that people are happier, less ADHD, and way more hardworking than in US/Canada where I lived most of my life.

    Living alone here is almost unthinkable. Either you live with family or you get married and live with your wife, or sometimes you get married and live with your family in your family's house ?

    Yes, family's not always fun and there can be drama, tensions, etc, but I think human beings are designed for this. We're not designed to live in one-man palaces with nobody to talk to except through a screen. No wonder Western countries have higher depression & suicide rates.

    So, long story short, I think this will help a lot. Especially if the roommate is a friend who could be supportive of your problem. I did manage to continue gaming even while rooming with someone in college, but it's a completely different story now that I'm married, since my wife knows about my problems and is supportive.

    • Like 2

  11. 5 hours ago, JustTom said:

    I relapsed again >{ 

    I'm starting to think I'm a lost cause. Not just that I will drop out, but that I will never even be able to break out of my addiction. In the last year and a half, it's been getting worse and worse, with each relapse lasting longer and being more isolating than the previous. My bag of tricks is empty, I don't know how else to improve my strategy and just trying again over and over seems to be an endless cycle for me. 

    I binged-played a game so much that I got sick of it after a few days, so now I'm having a tiny point of clarity which is why I'm on this forum. Writing anything at all. 

    Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that ?

    Have you thought of doing something more radical? Like getting rid of your computer entirely, or taking some time off from uni to go do things you're passionate about? Cam has that whole retreat thing now also. Or getting a roommate who's understanding of your problem and would be willing to help. I don't know if I could've done as well with my detox if I wasn't married...

    I have a feeling that you're struggling because you're really not enjoying your day-to-day. Gaming is a good means of escaping that...

    • Like 1

  12. Hey man, it's been a few days. What's been going on?

    On 5/29/2019 at 10:08 AM, JustTom said:

    my bike got stolen the day that public transport was disabled

    Oh shoot man, I'm sorry to hear that. And on a day like that too!

    On 5/29/2019 at 10:08 AM, JustTom said:

    listened to this Joe Rogan podcast with a sleep expert and realized how much I've been neglecting my sleep

    I think this is a huge factor in why so many of the folks here (including myself) relapse. Poor sleep, especially habitually, can really screw you up. Glad that you're doing something about it.

  13. Day 9/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 
    No phone in washroom 9/120
    20 mins of Qur'an 4/120

    Smooth sailing so far, thank God.

    But Ramadan is coming to an end - I have a feeling things will get trickier afterwards. It's always easier to focus on the good in Ramadan.

    The big plus so far has been that I have extra time right now (I've finished up work with a number of clients & I'm not immediately bringing on more) and I dove straight into working on my business. Now that I have email subscribers going through sequences, I'm under more pressure (and motivation) to get everything set up as soon as possible. It's all very engaging - there's tons to do and I'm happy to do it (for now) and that's keeping me away from wasting my time on vids and things like that.

    If I do want to relax a bit, I read or talk to my wife.

    I have a trip coming up in a couple of weeks, which I'm looking forward to, but also dreading. On one hand, it's great to see family. On the other hand, seeing family always wrecks my good habits AND I really need to have some content ready for my business before I head out.

    Let's see how much I can get done!

  14. Day 6/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 
    No phone in washroom 6/120
    20 mins of Qur'an 1/120

    Dang, did I not update for 4 days? I thought it was 2 ?

    Overall detox has been pretty good so far. No forgetful lapses since the last post. I'm struggling more with Qur'an first thing in the day, had to restart my counter.

    So far I'm feeling fine. Part of it is that I'm actively working on my business and it's fun. No significant results as of yet, but reaching any milestone is like... well, a game. So if I have a spare minute, I'd rather do business-related stuff than watch videos.

    That's likely to wear off at some point. But I'll ride the wave while it's there. Hopefully it's the jumpstart I need.

  15. Day 1/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    No phone in washroom 1/120
    20 mins of Qur'an 1/120

    My first day was full of forgetfulness. I forgetfully watched some videos on a news website and forgot to read Qur'an until later in the day. I'm still counting this as a day, because overall I didn't intentionally waste time on vids and habits take time to form.

    Feeling good so far. Not a lot of desire to watch anything. 

    8 hours ago, JustTom said:

    Being intentional about time usage is really the core idea of GQ, good luck!

    Thanks man!

  16. Day 0/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    No phone in washroom 0/120
    20 mins of Qur'an 0/120 

    Well, here we go!

    I got delayed a bit with posting this because I thought I was on a high and was going to go vid-free, but the very next day I started watching travel vlogs about a country I'm visiting in a few months and am super excited about.

    That's enough of that.

    I'm going to try to keep things very basic this time around: a few simple rules and that's it. I'm not adding or subtracting anything in terms of habits for the 120-day period.

    I picked 120 days, because that covers me for my upcoming "busy period": I have 2 lengthy trips coming up + a family member staying with us for a month. All of this should make it more difficult for me to watch videos as it is (at least in theory) and I'm hoping it'll be easy to keep this habit. However, 90 days would end close to the end of my last trip, and that would mean that I'm risking returning home and relapsing right away.

    120 days gives 3 weeks to re-adjust to home while (hopefully) maintaining my detox.

    Detox rules are:

    • No YouTube (or Vimeo or whatever other video channel) unless necessary for work or study
    • No TV shows, movies, and other entertainment
    • No X-rated stuff

    No phone in washroom is straightforward.

    20 mins of Qur'an I must do first thing after I wake up. Night-time habits don't work because I put them off and then go to bed late or end up skipping them.

    That's all. Let's see how this goes!



    • Like 1

  17. Well, I'm back folks.

    Not gonna do a long one right now. The basic gist is that over the last few months, I've not gamed, but have completely relapsed watching videos. However, thanks in part to my wife, I've been able to keep it from derailing my life entirely. I've been fairly productive and things are going well - even if not as well as they would if I wasn't watching vids.

    I'm nearing a year of not playing games - unless I count a day or two of semi-relapsing on playing phone games and old DOS games via online emulators earlier this year.

    However, now that game of thrones is over (and on such a bad note... i've lost all interest in the show by the last episode), I feel like I have an opportunity to restart my detox.

    I've got travel & family stuff for the next 3 months. It makes sense to do a 90-day detox and see how that goes.

    I think I also feel a bit refreshed in terms of detoxing. Haven't done it in some time, I think I can give it another whirl. Not sure what I'll do differently, but let's see.

    Will probably start a new topic tomorrow. Stay tuned!

    • Like 3

  18. Agreed with Tom. Even if you relapsed, just look back at your past months that you've spent posting on these forums and count the number of days you've been productive and moving towards your goals vs the number of the days you've spent gaming.

    Pretty clearly a win. You've got this!

    • Like 1
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