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WorkInProgress
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Detox: 09.10.2017 - 16.01.2018
Week 1 (22.10.2017-29.10.2017) Entry 2
Congratulations with your son!
Thank you. I am very much in love with him all ready and very happy that I have over two months with him before I start into full time work.
I think I will widen my focus here. I lately found a full time job as atlassian-consultant and will start there 1.1.2018. Because I'll get educated on the job and there is no formal education for this job I don't need to spend a lot of time learning to be better at programming. I will still do though for fun and profit.
That means I have time for my little family and improving myself which is great. That is why I want to use excess time for fitness related goals. I started today an daily routine where I alternate between push pull lift and leg-work. I took it right out of the beginner section from the book "Discipline equals Freedom". The training is mostly calesthenics so I need only a pull-up bar which is in my possession all ready.
Herein I will do some sort of training every day. Of course this will vary in intensity and time. It is also all right if I have a lot of muscle aches or less time if I only get some stretches in. But I think building a daily workout routing will be very beneficial for me and I am excited to fight through the obvious roadblocks in motivation. I am also interested in joining a local muaythai/kickboxing school. It isn't expensive and close by. The time commitment is a little scary though especially now when my wife needs me a lot after giving birth to our son. I will consider going to some tryout training session in two weeks (6.11.)
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Hey I need to read that study soon
Good job on moderating lately. You are everywhere!-
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Hey good job on reflecting so deeply. Especially with your workload this is important. Make sure this is only temporary or you will suffer from this. A weekend camping could be a great way to get some distance and replenishment.
How many kids do you have? Is your wife a stay at home mom? My first son was born last friday, so I am right now in the process of figuring the whole father thing out. Do you have any tips and tricks for me?
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Soon one Month done. Great job!
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19 days without gaming, 1 day without porn.
It's morning, I just got up. I'm working on a habit to get out of bed immediately after I wake up. It's been going very well since I started. However today, it being Saturday, I felt like I deserve a break. I felt like I couldn't just disregard the habit completely, but I thought that if I start the day with reading in bed and don't fall asleep again, it's going to count as if the habit has been upheld. So I read for 5 minutes, but I suspected I was going to fall asleep. So I got up, put on music, checked in at Habitica. And you know what? GETTING UP FEELS MUCH BETTER THAN SLEEPING LONGER. I don't even need any rewards for it! Plus, I've slept a good 8 hours, only woke up once during the night, so I'm well-rested.
The only thing I'm not looking forward to today is visiting my friend to work on a research project, because 1) it's hard for me to come up with a valid subject, seing how much in this area of study is already known (and I'm the brainy type), and 2) I really like my friend, but working with her isn't as pleasant as I thought it would be. I'm also getting a bit overwhelmed with all the studying I have to get done, what with all my slow reading and stuff. Before the next Thursday I have to:
- have the subject of the research project prepared quite well (Tuesday)
- finish reading two chapters from textbooks (Monday)
- read at least 1 chapter from a book I haven't even looked for yet (Monday)
- go to my friend (today)
- meet up with my mother, as she's visiting the city (Sunday)
- find a viable Indiana Jones costume; this is gonna take hours I could use on studying, and I hate shopping
I've just decided the last one is waiting until at least Tuesday. I have no time to waste before that, so I'm not even thinking about this. The rest of it is doable, the costume is actually the worst, most stressful part. So from now on I'm not even thinking about it until I'm done with everything else.
And now it's time for a shower AND BREAKFAST, LET'S DO IT!!!
:D love the gig. Gj with your sleep routine. This truly makes a difference.
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Detox: 09.10.2017 - 16.01.2018
Week 1 (22.10.2017-29.10.2017)
First the bad news to get it out of my system:
I drank 1/3 liters of coke and ate two little chocobars. I got weak and this was followed by a binge session of porn, gaming content and staying up late instead of going to bed to a sensible time. That is why I reset the counter.
Now to the good news:
My beautiful son was born the day before yesterday. It is still hard to grasp how my wife and I could create a new human life like that. It makes me more emotional then I thought. Even now as I write this I got watery eyes. I can only be with them from 9 am to 9 pm and go home for sleeping and eating. Luckily the hospital is only 5 minutes with the car away from my home.
I feel the urge to develop my discipline and stay true to my word. Be it towards other people or myself. To solidify that goal I read right now "Discipline equals Freedom" by Jocko Willinks (an ex seal commander). It is true that the only way to become truly better is through self-discipline. We need to want to become better, stronger wiser and we need the discipline to follow through with the necessary actions.
My priority right now is my family and I'll need to be friendly, helpful and decisive to support them both as good as possible. But I have free time and I'll fight to never misuse that time for things that hurt my spirits and make me worse. That is why I'll stop watching porn and any gaming content. If I really need relaxation I will restore myself with reading, music or basically anything else which improves my mood and constitution instead of diminishing it.
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15 days without gaming, 1 day without porn etc. (I think)
. I feel like there should be another word for "fail".
Missing a goal. Experiencing a set-back. Gaining experience (ok this one was to tacky... ;))
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not sure what to write
Don't worry so much. Just write anything. How are you doing?
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You know, I wasn't sure if I need to start posting here again, but I've decided to take my own advice and make sure I have the best support system I can get.
About a year ago, this community helped me to quit - or at least to complete the 90 days challenge - once, and I'm starting to suspect I'll need it to keep away from gaming in the following months. Because I've been having some issues when it comes to gaming or, to be exact, not gaming.
Hey there. Awesome to here that things go sort of your way for a change! I was wondering what happened to you.
Heya, I'm starting to suspect you've developed an addiction to the GQ forums, seeing your "no sugar" journal :p. Good stuff though, and I'm actually about to do something similar as well by getting back to low carb eating style.
Yeah it is kind of a relapse to spend time here again and even writing some stuff
But it feels good to write with you guys and this time and I am not really bound to do anything. I just write stuff if I feel like doing and my little journal increased the accountability for my betterment. I'm basically a gamequitter in moderation. Sounds like you did big steps in therapy. Keep at it. I know that it isn't trivial to stick to it for such a long time and fight through such issues.
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Detox: 09.10.2017 - 09.01.2018
Week 1 (16.10.2017-22.10.2017) Part 2
Hello out there,
I had some little slips out of carelessness. I.e. I automatically licked a yogurt cover after it fell down and got a whole. But I realized my mistake and gave the open yogurt to my wife. I stayed strong at family meetings with cake and other delicious stuff and it wasn't that hard to stay abstinent. Everyone seems to understand my reasoning for doing this so people feel a little bad for me and then support my decision. I also did go on two runs this week as promised. I think I will start a today rythm of running for the foreseeable future. It is just an easy way to get some exercise in my day plan. It also fits pretty well to my actual audiobook ("Shoe Dog").
Have a great week.
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You know, I wasn't sure if I need to start posting here again, but I've decided to take my own advice and make sure I have the best support system I can get.
About a year ago, this community helped me to quit - or at least to complete the 90 days challenge - once, and I'm starting to suspect I'll need it to keep away from gaming in the following months. Because I've been having some issues when it comes to gaming or, to be exact, not gaming.
Hey there. Awesome to here that things go sort of your way for a change! I was wondering what happened to you.
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I actually can't remember a special point where the withdrawel stopped. It was more like a wave function. Sometimes the urges were stronger and sometimes I stopped thinking about games all together. The urge to binge consume was stronger if I was stressed or felt pressured, It was/is my coping mechanisme to evade negative feelings by binge consuming stuff. It helps to be aware of that and it gets a little better over time. Right now I don't feel urges to play anymore, but it took a lot of time. And of course I still evade negative feelings from time to time. THis happens just with other mechanisms which are more constructive.
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Hey there, you got 2weeks of not gaming. This is a good start and something you can be proud of. Especially if you struggling with depression right now.
I hope the med's kick in and help you to feel better. One thing which can help a bit is to get out of the house. A small walk (10-20min) in the outside releases a lot of good chemicals in your body. Even if the weather is bad the light is still a lot more intense then inside. I see how the agoraphobia can be hindering but maybe you'll have a garden or a somewhat similar space to get some light. There are also infra-red lamps which are shown to have similar effects. Maybe it could be worthwhile to research that a little.
The challenge can be daunting but if you go one small step after another in the right direction one you'll become a little bit better everyday. Sometimes that is hard to believe. Or you think it doesn't matter if the successes are so small. But trust me. These little wins are what matters in the long run. If you like to read I would really recomment you the slight edge.
PS: I recognized that cam didn't read/answered your question. I only bought the basic version of his book and it has all the necessary advice and challenges you'll need to start. (he also recommends the slight edge in there btw)
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Here is a free little book about this problem. I found it helpful to motivate me stepping out of my comfort zone
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I think telphone apps can be as addictive as computer games. They aren't as immersive but they are always available which makes it easier to get into the habbit of compulsingly using your phone to evade thinking or emotions. I would agree to stay away from these things until you finished your detox. I also doubt highly that brain-apps help you with math skills. Sadly school math is imho a lot about learning simple routines by heart and training them. This is still best be done with a lot of training exercises on paper. THe problem with that is that you'll usually need someone to help you if you get stuck. Thats where tutors or (good) math books come in. The problem wiht math bools is that the notation their written isn't really easy. It is a own sort of (precise) language you'll need to crock before it helps you. School usually does a crappy job at helping you there. To summarize. Deep studies are way more advantagous then any mobile game. They are also dangerous. The ability to learn/study things especially when they aren't exciting and gamified is essential for your future success in life and career.
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Hi there. Welcome to the forums.
I am sure this will be a big step and it is great that you ask for help.
I would suggest that you check the gamequitters youtube channel. I linked the Start here playlist which will help you to answer most of the urgent questions. I would urge you to write daily entry's in the journal section. This will keep you focussed and be able to process the changing habits more easily. It is also a great way to keep yourself accountable.
We got your back!
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Detox: 09.10.2017 - 09.01.2018
Week 1 (09.10.2017-15.10.2017) Part 2
Hello out there,
two days in I start to experience cravings. I usually would jsut stop buying anything, but this time I did intentionally not ban the sweets out of my sight. ThThis leads to cravings which I was able to outlast and which led to me cooking two times a day instead of just eating a bread with nutella or smth similar in the evening. I have the hope that this will help my self-discipline in general.
It helps a bit that I can eat some fruit in the morning which I start to enjoy more. I feel like I am able to taste more and be more mindful of my food in general lately. Could be a causation or maybe I am just focussed on the food and therefore eat more intentionally. It improves my appreciation of food which is a good thing either way.
For the first month I will jog two times a week and the see where it goes. This evening or tomorrow I'll start the routine (if my son isn't born that day).
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Hey it seems like you are doing a lot of exploring right now which is great. The problem to fit it all in is a natural consequence of that. Now is the time to make the next step. In my opinion this step is equally important. Prioritize. Pick 3-5 Things out of the List of things you want (need/must) to do. These are your main goals for the next month. Forget about the rest and just focuse entirely at them and to be the best at them you can be.
This will give you a muhc deeper experience and let you catually choose if you want to explore more things afterwards or just are afraid to commit to some activities.
Atleast in my experience it is easy to make a tons of exciting plans and never follow through with it. The only antidote to that is prioritization imho.
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Been watching DragonBall as my resting/relaxing activity. It's a lot better than I remembered.
The first seasons are
. I did rewatch them out of nostalgia a few months ago. I really enjoyed it.Congratulation on the two weeks man. Thats a great first step!
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Don't worry. Do what works for you. IF you want to do some deeper reflection it is fine if not that is fine too. You got soon 2/3 of the detox. Good job.
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Best of luck. Maybe check in again for the 90 day celebration or if you (god forbid) should relapse
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Here's my weekly reflection:
This week has gone really well. I managed to do fairly well to get studying done where it is needed, however I'm a little lacking in a couple papers. I made sure to get help when I needed it, and I did a good job of tutoring and working at the restaurant. Staying at university to get studying done has been helpful on the couple of days which I did do it, but I'm going to need to try a little harder on the weekend to study longer. I did however manage to get in intense exercise between 50min sessions whilst studying, which really helped me keep alert and engaged. I've been getting up consistently at 6am which has been great, and I've been trying harder than ever at the gym - things are going superb. My relationship is going very well, I could say I have a girlfriend now. I really think everything can only get more intense around the board, as exams are coming up and I'll be more pressured for time. I wasn't consistent with visualisation, I'll need to continue that.
I'm going to stick with the weekly posts now, as I simply don't have the time every day to be writing a long post; every minute of spare time I can muster needs to be put towards my studies and social life.
Sounds great. Having a girlfriend will help you a lot. Especially after the first crush is gone you'll have someone to point out your dumb ideas in normal life. The added self-reflection can be priceless.
[NSFW] Marquess' journal (Cute emo girls inside!)
in Daily Journals
Posted
To delete the frames you'll need to enter something in front of them (i.e. an empty line and then they'll get deletable.
No I don't keep counting but I know that I started my detox in January 2016. I also had a little relapse in the end of 2017 (1-2 days) But all in all I would count myself basically game free since then. That makes soon two years. And finally I stopped watching game related stuff lately. Lately it feels like books are more interesting then the web which is kind of crazy for me but very welcome. It helps a lot that I got a job a few days ago and don't have to worry about studying or job search anymore. Pressure and Stress was always the main reasons for me to go back to gaming. I spend all my time right now with my wife and my newborn son so I don't have time to watch shit on youtube anyway. Reading is quite possible with a sleeping baby in your lap though. So yeah I am very thankful for my life right now.
That's also why I always feel a little hippocritical if I offer advice to you or other guys. I feel like most of my luck is actual good luck. Good genetics good psyche and lucky environment. Of course this oversimplified but only lately I started to benefiting my own life in a meaningful way and it pays off. I just had the luck to start from a very lucky point. That is why I admire it if someone with mental problems and much harder circumstances fight through them to a new life. You rock man. I am sure that that website problem will get solved by trying and trying again . It is no use to compare yourself to others or judge things as simple or hard. The only thing it gets you is a bad self-esteem. If you are stuck maybe you can reach out to someone who has the necessary skill? Most people are surprisingly willing to help strangers because it makes them feel good about themselves.