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Everything posted by info-gatherer

  1. You spent 3 hours on it but in the end you figured it out. It’s not only about solving that single problem, but getting better at solving the whole class of related problems, what G. Bateson called “deutero-learning”. I’d say it’s worth it :) just my 2 cents
  2. Now, THAT’s a list of goals! Also, I suggest you to -replace YouTube with Spotify or similar services for music, it’s not a trigger and works better -I understand why you’re banning movies, but as a movie lover I have to say that not all movies are equally a waste of time. For example art house movies and documentaries are not, in my opinion. Maybe you could put a rule that you can only watch movies you have got in DVD, so you would be forced to go and rent one every time instead of browsing your favourite streaming service and having instant gratification But these are just details, the important thing is that you are committed to changing your life in a meaningful way and I root for you!
  3. Day 52 A collegue asked me to answer some questions for a scientific research project about “your ideal psychologist” or something like that. I was very surprised to admit to myself that I was answering very positively to questions about my happiness and personal satisfaction.
  4. Just sleep on it, but be sure to come back tomorrow :) We’re waiting for you.
  5. I understand very well your struggle about your account. I sent a mail to delete mine, and felt the very smell of freedom, but then I “changed my mind” and I didn’t complete the request. But I see that everyone who has deleted it is happy about it. I thought about selling the account too, but I was never convinced. Is 100€ (or whatever sum) really worth deprieving me (or you) from the pleasure of saying the catharthic “yes, we had a good time together, but now it’s time to say goodbye forever”...?
  6. Well I guess I’m not the only person on earth who would thoroughly enjoy to spank his boss, but I still want to say that I can relate. The dude (or the girl) doesn’t respect you, and what you can do? Absolutely nothing. It’s very frustrating. Just carry on and you’ll eventually get your freedom back when your contract expires. Looking back at my only working experience, 5 months in a start-up last year, I have to say that it was very hard at times, but I learned A LOT about how to deal with people & a lot of other stuff, and in the end it was 100% worth it. I hope it’ll be the same for you :)
  7. Day 51 The professor didn’t get mad at me. Instead, I sadly made the poor choice of making fun of HIM (I swear, just the most innocent of the jokes) and he heard me. Gotta have a hard time at his course from now on if I don’t prove him that I’m a good student & a chill person. This is why I already thought about a question that I’ll ask him as soon as he walks the door of the classroom next monday. Hopefully, an intelligent one, but he’s to judge. Everything else is fine. I didn’t have the time to call the yoga gym, I just studied all day long. I can see a progress in my social skills. I’m a bit less anxious and slightly more willing to talk to strangers without making a fool of myself. I’m also slightly less in a hurry in everything I do. I usually do things fast, I’m efficient, I don’t waste time, but I’m starting to relax a little bit more. Also, I don’t know why I’m mentioning it now, after 50 days: I never told anybody that I was a gamer. I was deeply ashamed of it. Now that I closed this chapter of my life, I think that one day, when I’ll be 100% clean, I won’t be ashamed anymore and finally tell my friends or anybody: “you know, I was a hardcore gamer, I spent 12+ hours a day playing online. But now I’m fine, I don’t do that anymore.” Concluding, I want to thank you @BigOlBeartic for supporting me and reading my poorly-written uninteresting shit every single time, it’s very kind of you edit: I’m spending the evening answering journals and chainsmoking on the armchair. Guess it’s not too late to do something more healthy. I finish this cigarette and clean the mess of my room, it’ll take 1 hour at least. Then I’ll watch a movie and go to bed.
  8. Hi there :) I just finished reading your journal and it looks to me you’re doing great! I was impressed by the part in which you wrote that you looked at your Sims’ abilities leveling up instead of improving your own skills, THE SAME SKILLS that your Sim was learning. That helped me figure out something important. I knew that games give us a sense of accomplishment, but I didn’t understand how they are actually trying to emulate life. I thought about the hours I spent leveling Cooking, Fishing, Tailoring etc in WoW and felt so stupid. Also, reading the description of your dream was very enjoyable. It looked like a page from a good novel.
  9. Day 50 I like the courses of this term. I like my life, what I do and how I do it. It won’t be easy but I am putting the right amount of effort into it. I just need to keep doing what I do, slow and steady. I completely forgot about those yoga lessons I mentioned a couple weeks ago. I will check tomorrow if they still accept applications. My weekends are too boring. I need to think about it and make a plan. There’s much room for improvement. I still didn’t write that email and tomorrow my professor will probably publicly make fun of me or get angry at me. I didn’t write it because I don’t know what to write. It’s about choosing a topic for a lesson I must “teach” to the class. Every student must choose a topic, and I’m one of the few that didn’t. That’s because I’m very ignorant about the history of the world after 1945, and the course is about italian politics between 1989 and present day. I think that every thing I choose will be a failure. What I had to do: learn more about the available topics and choose one. What I did: ignore the problem. Fuck me.
  10. You’ll be more focused after every day of detox. After the first 2 weeks I had already transitioned from 4ish hours of study a day to 8-10 hours.
  11. Day 49 Everything going smoothly enough. Absolutely uneventful day but still I had 0 cravings. I played the guitar, watched a movie, slept a bit, talked with my gf. Tomorrow is Monday and I have 4 hours of lessons, including 2 hours of that very difficult course I mentioned some days ago. I didn’t write an email even if I had to, but apart from that everything is fine. Relaxing day.
  12. Welcome. I had a lot of problems socializing in the past, and I escaped in videogames as you did. But the truth is that gaming is a loop that makes your life harder every day. It’s hard to make friends when you’re stuck in front of a pc. Congrats for deciding to quit!
  13. We usually get a week of spring break, for some weird reason this year it’s a whopping 3 days & the problem with my gf is always the same money money money oh dear I don’t have money for a coffee money money how silly of you to think we could go skiing money money NOT EVERYONE HERE IS RICH ENOUGH TO GO PADDLING ON THE LAKE, UNDERSTAND, YOU PRIVILEGED F.... Jk, that’s what she usually tells me when I come up with an idea edit: Day 48 I just had a very interesting and pleasant conversation about politics. The rest of the day went quite well, I didn’t study but I did some cleaning of the house.
  14. Thanks Bear :) Fluffy as usual. Really, I don’t know how to celebrate. Always hated my birthday parties. Right now I’m very focused on university bc I still need to catch up with the time I lost gaming, and I know that every single day is precious. A good result at my next exam would be the best possible way to reward myself. Apart from that, I’d like to go skiing again, but nobody wants to come with me and I wouldn’t enjoy it fully if I went alone. Also, I used to travel a lot in the past, but I stopped when my grades started to drop. Maybe I’ll plan a trip as a reward for the 90 days mark. I’m not sure if I want to go to a european capital and just be a tourist & meet people&get drunk, or instead to volunteer in a war zone like Palestine. For the 2nd option I’d need some courage, I guess. Anyway Day 47 Woke up when the alarm rang, studied all day except a couple hours that I used to partecipate to a debate about the political situation in Palestine (hence the inspiration). I did not talk, but it was very interesting. Now I understand that situation a lot better. After dinner I had a long conversation with my gf about our future as students, the job market, italian school system and my mental health. Also, I don’t know if I want to go to parents’ home tomorrow. I have to decide. Maybe I can do an experiment, or a challenge: go and try to study there (I usually don’t even open a book when I’m there).
  15. Looks like you’re improving every aspect of your life. The part about accepting that you don’t always have to be the best is very inspiring. Congratulations, you’re doing great :)
  16. Day 46 I didn’t wake up when the alarm rang. It’s the 2nd time this week and it’s not ok. Now it’s 10:45 AM: I wasted all my morning. No wonder this problem comes along with increasing anxiety. Yesterday was a hell of a day and I didn’t feel much motivated, now I MUST do better. Goals for today: study hard and go to tennis, focus on what matters most, rhe present, without being caught by anxiety update: nice day, worth living. Mandatory to wake up at alarm time tomorrow, ill put the alarm far from my bed just to be sure.
  17. Day 45 Had a bad day. A lot of fear to fail, I felt too much pressure, too big a burden on my shoulders. My gf managed to talk me out of most of it, and I’m very grateful for it. Sometimes she gives me the courage that I lack. Half of my detox is now completed.
  18. Day 44 I went back to uni city; falling asleep right now, nothing special to say, just didn’t wanna skip the entry. Another memory from my childhood: Me and my dad are biking together. I want to ask him to buy me the new Game Boy SP. I’m positive he will say no, because I already spend too much time with my GB Color and he has to scream at me every day to make me stop. I ask him and he’s very chill, says yes of course you can have it, I can’t believe it and I’m very happy.
  19. Day 42-43 I joined SC, a top tier tracker for the type of content I’m interested in. Luckily enough, my journey in the climb-those-trackers world has “come to an end” in a very short time (most people need months, if ever, to achieve my same result, I’ve been very lucky). I’ll just use that one and forget about the others. Also, the community is very friendly. I never liked lurking forums and wasting hours in front of the pc, except for gaming forums ofc, so this weekend really took a toll on me. It was a short experience, but I’d dare say very educational. There’s a whole subculture of which I ignored the existence and now am a part of. I didn’t spend all the time in those trackers, tho. Yesterday I woke up and went to cast my vote for the national elections. Then I went with my grandmother to the cemetery after a lot of years of absence. My grandfather’s grave is there. It was an intense experience. My granny told me that in a short time my grandfather’s grave is going to be broken, and his spoils are gonna be moved in another location. She also told me a thing that I didn’t remember: when I was 2, I told her that I saw my grandpa in a dream, and he told me to tell her that he was well and happy, and he ran in a field full of flowers. In the afternoon I went to visit 2 friends of mine and then went out for dinner with them and other people. I had a good time. But now it’s time to go back to the real world. Tomorrow I have my first lesson of the 2nd semester. The course seems much more difficult than I’m used to. It’s a course of history, so not exactly my field. I think it will be a real challenge, and for the first time I wonder whether I’m ready or not. I won’t skip the lessons and hopefully everything will be good.
  20. Good luck then, I’m a great fan of you :) You are going to do even better this time!
  21. Man DON’T it’s just a slip, it happened, ok, make it doesn’t happen anymore. I read your journal, and you’re doing GREAT. I think that your mistake was stopping to count the days. Why don’t you just resume it? You gamed a day, this doesn’t spoil all your progress unless you do it again. And you won’t, because you care about your life. I’d like to hear @Cam Adair‘s opinion on this, maybe I’m giving bad advice.
  22. Thanks @Newbie17 :) I’m not trying WoW anytime soon. Day 41 Spent the whole afternoon of yesterday and the whole day today in front of the pc, and I have to say I didn’t miss the feeling at all. Usual brain fog experience and little meaningful accomplished. I joined a couple private trackers and downloaded half a TB of art-house / classic / indie movies. Being a newbie in the trackers world I had to study and learn a lot of stuff, and I actually did, but I also spent hours just looking at the download/seeding percentages going up. My final goal is to join Karagarga, the best art-house movie tracker, and be done with this bullshit of having to waste hours “improving my ratio”, “promoting” and “advancing my rank” in different trackers. It was fun the first 2 hours, then it got boring. Now I learned the basics and I’m not required anymore to stand in front of the pc the whole time, I can let the rig do its job, so I guess I’ll go and visit my granny (woah what an exciting saturday for Info-Gatherer!)
  23. @BigOlBeartic well in Italy we say “non cantare vittoria”, which means “don’t be happy until you actually manage to get what you want”. My request needs to be approved and then ofc I must actually move there. A lot of things can happen but I hope I’ll be strong enough to do it. I’ve already lived in Berlin for 5 months, so I can probably stay 9 months in Paris. We’ll see. @eshi2000 Yes, quitting games is reshaping my life as long as I am focused enough to replace it with better activities. I think I’m doing good. Thanks for the support and for reading my journal :) Day 40 Going back to parents’ home. I asked my sister, my gf and a friend to go skiing this weekend but they all declined. Maybe I’ll go on my own. Also, sunday is Election Day, I’ll go to cast my vote.
  24. Day 39 The french test went decently enough, I hope my request gets approved. Lunch with friends. I bought a chess board and proceded to destroy every one of them. They were all beginners / first time but I couldn’t resist. I wasn’t arrogant or cocky, I tried to be helpful and humble, but nonetheless I couldn’t resist to crush them in <10 moves every time. It’s not a videogame but I was looking for that same feeling of “dopamine release” and I quite got it. It was beautiful playing again after 40 days, even if the matches were unbalanced. Tennis went super good. I played vs the best guy in my course and forced him to play seriously otherwise he would lose. In the end I lost but it was a lot of fun. I’m getting better and I’m grateful for it.
  25. Day 38 Exam passed, 30/31. It’s almost the best result but it’s not enough and I will not settle for anything less than 31 next time. I already study a lot (thanks to GameQuitters!), and I’m not totally stupid. This means that I need to change my method. Goals for the next months: 1 DONT SKIP THE LESSONS. DONT STAY AT HOME. GO TO SCHOOL ALSO WHEN THE LESSONS ARE BORING AND SEEM ALMOST A WASTE OF TIME. 2 I don’t know how to write this in english but I NEED TO REPEAT (reharse?) OUT LOUD BEFORE THE EXAM. KNOWING THINGS IN MY MIND IS NOT ENOUGH. I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DISCUSS & MAKE SENSE WITHOUT DIGRESSING AND BEING CONFUSING. Tomorrow I have a test of French language, it’s not exactly an exam but I need a decent score if I want to move to Paris next year
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