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Everything posted by Laney

  1. Cold brew might be an option you'd like. It's concentrated coffee, after brewing you keep it in your fridge forever and mix it with water. You can mix it with hot or cold water depending on what you want to drink that day Sounds similar to what you do already, warming up water and adding the mats. Only difference is you'd have to make the cold brew every so often, or buy it. Honestly, the sugar in your coffee is a good goal, but quite small compared to soda's and juices. I think it would be easier to quit sugared coffee once you quit overly sugared drinks. (coke and sprite have 9.75 sugar packets each in a can) When I quit I forced myself to take a sip of water every time I had a craving, and now? Water tastes better than actual soda's, and many drinks are too sweet for me at coffee shops and boba places. EXCEPT REALLY HOT DAYS FOR SOME REASON. There's something about a cold soda on a hot day, haha. I just try to drink diet when I do. And thanks! Going home right now to get my workout outfit on. Let you know how it goes
  2. Nothing much has happened and I haven't felt the urge to play games, hell yeah! Keeping busy and present planning has really helped. Day 6 - Sunday Kinda had a bad morning, woke up feeling bad from the past two days of crappy MMO experiences. Worked on more of my crafts with a friend in the morning, cheered me up. Then Shadowrun tabletop game with friends. SO GOOD. I missed this so bad. I have the best character ever and our group gets along great. Best part of the day: Sister came home!! Day 7 - Monday Work. Christmas shopping (Best gift of the night: a super cool engraved wallet for my dad). After I got back home, sister was super stressed from being home (law school makes it hard to relax), she kept talking herself in bad self doubting circles so I tried to distract her with my own problems (quitting games!) It actually worked really well and the end of the night we were dying of laughter, doing yoga and listening to S Club 7. She said this forum sounds like my own AA meetings, and it kind of is! Thank you guys Although the end of the night I realized I lost a $45 purchase and cried myself to sleep. Day 8 - Tuesday Nothing too crazy, work, found the lost purchase at the mall(YES), bought more gifts, neighborhood party. OH! And I bought one of the books on Cam's list, The Power of Habit. Haven't started it yet. 3 Things I am grateful for: Honest retail workersMy jobI have really awesome neighbors!! Got to meet a lot of new ones and the older ones too. We have sweet, kind people on our street.One amazing thing that happened today: I found the last book I was searching for as a gift. I am done with shopping!!What could I have done to make my day better? Been on time to the darn neighborhood party. I totally forgot it was happening and took my time at the mall. What I am going to do differently tomorrow: I am going to exercise!
  3. You could try getting into black coffee, I'm a super coffee snob and make amazing black coffee that doesn't need sugar anymore. I like the fruity african beans iced It's funny, they actually are so sweet on their own that adding sugar makes it taste bad (conflicting sweet notes). If you want any tips on yummy coffee I can help you out! Cold brew is super easy and cheap, and if you have more time or money I've used the aeropress and pourover methods quite a bit and can suggest some things. First step would be to pack up your coffee making machine though ;D Also you are so awesome! You've been doing great on those workouts, you've definitely inspired me.
  4. Is there a way to increase your working memory? I have ADHD and basically have none. I rely on other parts of my brain to function.
  5. Hey welcome to the forum I think your post may be reaching for "This is fact" type stuff when I would say life is more grey than black and white. As a child I was addicted to books. It was the best thing to be addicted to. Everyone thought it was super awesome for you to ignore them because you were reading! That's what smart people do! It was an awesome excuse to ignore the world because I was doing something "productive" in the eyes of others. I thought it was soo cool that I could read a story about foreign lands and magic and they thought I was being productive, hah. But in reality it got so bad that my parents would have to take the book away from me at 3am so that I would go to sleep, teachers would take it away because I wasn't listening in class, etc. I'm not saying they are as addicting as video games--those obviously replaced books for me later on--but just because you specifically feel no addictive draw to something doesn't make it not a possible addiction for someone else. The reason for people to play video games is varied and diverse. For you I gleamed it was probably gameplay, coordination and challenge. For myself? Totally the story. I got to "control" it. Control over the most mediocre story line can make it seem great. I was as if I were the main character instead Also the lies you mentioned about the porn industry, what are you referencing? I don't really follow porn.
  6. Hey Matt, welcome and happy birthday! I'm glad you're joining us. I'm 22 and a computerish major as well. Nice to meet you!
  7. Thanks for the video. Seeing a visualization of how to approach what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling a certain way is pretty nice, I've been learning about it during yoga & meditation, and to see it repeated here is kind of cool. It really is all about the intention of your physical state and actions/thoughts! But really, the only thing that can get me out of a mood is to distance myself from others and be alone, or to get out of the house and exercise or do something different. I can't monitor myself well after I've gone over the edge until all or most triggers are gone. I try to be aware of my triggers and control my food pretty strongly so I never get into a "gremlin" mood like that morning. I definitely go through that process of acknowledging my feelings and separating myself from them. I just.. Anger at myself is really the hardest one to logic my way out of. Anger at someone else is pretty easy to deal with in comparison n.n
  8. You did the best you could to be happy with the knowledge you had at the time. Can you forgive your old self? Can you be thankful for what you have learned? What does your mother like to do? What would you love to do together? Try making a plan with her. Being out helps a lot. When I want to connect with my father I have to drag him somewhere where there are no screens. She's probably asking herself the same question in reverse. Guilt is a terrible thing: it can make you feel unworthy and afraid to bridge the gap with those you care about. Take advantage of the Christmas atmosphere to be real with each other. You can always discuss this if you feel the time is right. Makes sense? 1) I don't think I can entirely forgive myself until I can successfully do the in the moment thing a few times. Forgiving myself ahead of time will hold me accountable as if I've already accomplished it. Then I will feel less inclined to do it. 2) I'm not really sure. The only activities we do together is crafts, cooking, movies, restaurants and shopping. If you have any ideas n.n don't think I can get into something very time consuming with her as I'm pretty busy. Maybe a weekly luncheon? 3) Thanks, she probably does feel guilty too. I'll see if we can talk about it maybe, and if not I will definitely do what Cam said and lead by example. I think it will include talking to get about what she wants to do with herself outside of work and home.
  9. Thank you! I found the artist a long time ago on the internet, rediscovered and I bought it from his inprnt page http://www.inprnt.com/gallery/tomas_honz/
  10. Day 4 (sorry it's long, a lot happened) I open my email and see "Closed Beta Invite" for a beta I signed up for years ago. Wow. Seriously? F**king serious? I wanted to play that game for so long, and now the week when I decide I'm done with mmo's of course this happens. So I immediately thought how can get I get rid of it. I reached out to a friend who signed up for the beta with me. He already got the invite too, my heart dropped, because then I still have the darn invite unclaimed. I decided to tell him about my Game Quitting initiative, and that I'd been "sober" for four days. I didn't really know how he would react but he said "Damn that's basically me" and "I don't know if I can help you, I've already given into the dark side. You need a non video game hobby. Find some social activity that can take your mind off games. Delete it." I was so relieved and happy that my gaming friend who I care about could take me seriously and respect AND support my decision. Totally blew me away. I deleted it and never felt so happy/proud of myself. Really good night. Day 5 This morning I decided to get rid of the nagging feeling to play my mmo. The only attachment really was my unique item I won from a contest a while back. So I decided to give away my money and special clothing item to my buddy. Goal was to log on, trade everything and then uninstall. Goal was accomplished but...my friend didn't really understand my "quitting mmo's for good" concept... Kept using words like I'll hold this for you until you come back, I wont use them, I'll keep a spreadsheet of what you give me, etc. And then they gave me a YouTube link to an mmo and said they'd steal me to play with them when it comes out. He got me talking about a game I forgot about and I even said I would play it when it releases. I got pissed at myself and him and cussed a bunch. I was really upset about myself, I basically relapsed mentally, I think yesterday's email plus the video he linked and how positively he was talking about games just tricked me into thinking, "why don't I game?". I shut my laptop and angrily ate cereal, didn't like the taste threw it in the sink and paced the house. Eventually I turned on this relax mediation app and I finally calmed down.. Decided only my morning would suck, I was past this. All my MMO's were uninstalled and the beta invite was deleted, so the false temptation today doesn't matter. I moved on. Went to a friend's house, made bomb coffee with her and she may even become my physical trainer if I tutor her next quarter! The drive, good company and wonderful sky really made my day, and I feel really good about my future. Overall, still upset and I'm not sure how to get past that? But I'm ignoring it and trying to focus on the moment. It's really frustrating when people don't understand/take me seriously about this quitting addict thing. Tonight I'm at a Christmas party with long time family friends. I'll try to respond to everyone tomorrow but I have read all of your responses, thank you.
  11. Alex's Journal template thing. May want to add a separate goal post, as I'm just floating around not sure of what to do with myself. 3 Things I am grateful for: One amazing thing that happened today: What could I have done to make my day better? What I am going to do differently tomorrow:
  12. I love the no complaining tag, since you mentioned optimism was a thing you wanted to work on in your first post aha. The way you said you were robotic and logical makes me think learning python will be a good fit for you. You should find a hackerspace near you and get involved! "Hackerspaces are community-operated physical places, where people share their interest in tinkering with technology, meet and work on their projects, and learn from each other." Also a few questions: 1. What is this visualizing thing you do in the morning? 2. What is your main source of sugar intake? (Drinks, carbs, candy, etc) 3. May I adopt your journal style? I love the pre-built sections to focus on!
  13. Progress pics: 6 of 8 perler badges (missing red beads, postponed for a while). Not really into pokemon anymore, but it's quite fun. Going to make or buy a display box with glass that he can hang on the wall. Framed picture #1 Science fiction is totally my thing. I love the future, discussing theories on the future, thinking of products that will exist in the future, etc. These pieces of art will be for my two homies who have been in my futuristic pen and paper tabletop the past two years.
  14. You do have a point though, the whole concept of a support group isn't to scold or criticize someone. It's about being there for someone if they choose to travel this path. I'm surprised at how empathetic and kind this community is. You guys really made it easy to set aside my pride and try this out.
  15. Thanks Cam! I'm excited too. It really means a lot to me to be able to give my friends something physical and more expensive than normal. We're all youngins with no houses, not much furniture, and definitely no art to our names. I'm pretty stoked for their reactions (They are my tabletop game buddies of two years) And the handdss! It's pretty fun, I never really explored the creative area of myself except for music. Going to have to look out for new ideas or clubs to join. Maybe learn to paint. I know you speak a lot about learning languages, have you learned any yet? Ahahaha, seeing them all neatly in their own little bags makes me the happiest person ever. About the mom thing, I know it isn't really my fault but I wasn't necessarily a good example for her. I would speak highly of my games, and how they helped me develop, the cool people I met. Now she's chatting with people and playing games with her phone and I'm the one who feels ignored. The only thing I can do is try to be a better example than I was before, maybe bring up how I'm quitting games and just try to keep the conversation open with her so she can reach her own thoughts on the matter.
  16. I would say that I was definitely part of group 1.5 when I found Cam's youtube video's. I was addicted enough to acknowledge it was a problem(I had to google it so obviously I was kind of aware), but I still didn't want to accept it as a problem because my identity and most of my life was being a gamer. I'm still not even group 1 entirely, as you can tell from my introduction post I'm only quitting Online Games and not RPG's. Honestly, I think the addiction word made me take this whole thing seriously. Without the term gaming addiction and the way the website articulates the Signs of Addiction was very eye opening for me and humbling. It brought me back down to earth because of the shock factor of the whole thing. It made me connect the signs mentioned to my life. We should never stop being honest because we might hurt someones feelings. This is a personal choice and accepting the addiction is probably the biggest first step. The hardest step. But it wasn't until I watched the "Why You Should Quit Gaming" video Cam made 4 months ago that I was like, "f**k it, you have to do this Laney." Including a section for this too might be a good idea.
  17. Sober 3 days, During the day, Work and Christmas shopping/wrapping had me so tired I didn't have the energy to work on any crafts last night. Watched tv with the fam and went to bed early. Didn't think about games, not even my phone minigames. Although there is a passive "You should plan time to play more of ____ rpg, Laney". I haven't really acted on it, and I'm not sure if I plan to any time soon. Reflection Space I always thought holiday = FREE TIME! But looking back I see that mindset is false, and I created that imagined free time by ignoring them. My family is constantly busy during the holidays, traveling, prepping, planning, spending time with each other, spending time with friends. I'm really disappointed in my old self and how I handled and ignored family because of games during holidays. This year, I will connect and celebrate. How do I connect to my mother when she is addicted to tv shows and her phone games? Is it my fault that she's turned to games when all I did for years was go into my room and not spend time with her?
  18. Thanks Django, I know that I probably should remove them as well but the damage a few RPG's a year does to my life compared to just one MMO is almost negligible (Although I know my eyes are clouded and biased since I haven't done the 90 day detox, which is why I'll track my RPG gaming in the daily journal). I'm glad you responded saying that it didn't work just cutting out the online ones. You replaced that with different games and reached the same spot you were before. I guess I can see myself doing the same, we'll see how it goes.
  19. Sober 2 days, 12/16/2015 Been focusing on arts and crafts Christmas gifts for friends. First project was framing two pieces of art, involved project because I didn't pay the $70 to have the mats cut and installed for me, so I have to cut them myself. Framed one of the two pictures, one left to go. For my third gift I am making a Pokemon Badge Display Box with perler bead badges for a longtime friend. I put it off because I hated how all the beads were mixed together. So over the past few days I organized ALL THE PERLER BEADS to be color separated. Used to look like this and now it looks more like THIS! Feeling pretty good about making progress on my gifts. I've put the perler bead one off for two years! Will post pictures of all completed projects when they are done Gratitude journal 1. I woke up easily, made awesome coffee and got to work on time. 2. Met a really cool person who turned me down, but I'm glad I know them 3. My co worker is back from school. It's wonderful having his energy back at the office. Edit: Here's my completed project!
  20. Hi guys. SoCal born and raised and computer major. I really respect everyone on here and the community has made me feel like this whole journey is possible. But firstly I want to be honest and say I'm not 100% quitting games. I'm here to quit what I'm addicted to--online games. I'm 22 and I've played online games since I was 12. The way I played it was unhealthy, my father would have to unplug the computer to get me to go to bed some nights. Then I took a computer major in university to prove to him and myself that my interest in games had been a healthy good thing in my life, I really showed him! It's not healthy, it is addicting, it makes me bored of everything else and it keeps me from family, friends and lovers. (not to mention school and work). What started this--I hadn't played an mmo in four months--was opening Aion to get extra winter event items for a friend. Immediately it was more than just logging on for the daily gift, I played six hours that night. More the next day. It freaked me out how fast this response kicked in. I actually googled "game addiction" during work because I couldn't stop thinking about the game. I found this community and amazing team leader Cam and it immediately resonated and inspired me to try and make a change--for good. While I don't think I'm ready to give up story RPG's, I am definitely ready to give up the never ending story of online games. RPG's are easy for me to set aside for friends family and work. I don't feel like I'll fall behind if I don't play, lose the opportunity for gear if I log off, or let down others by leaving. Basically, I don't feel like I'm addicted to story based games with an ending, just online games. I'm unsure about the whole quitting all RPG's as "gamer girl" is something I have always defined myself by (since I was young enough to use a controller). But my RPG usage is very few and far in between. I am going to be aware of my RPG gaming from now on, space it out a lot more, and include those in the daily journal section to observe/notice any signs of addiction. Thank you for reading, Laney
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