NEW VIDEO: The EASIEST Way to Stop Gaming
Laney
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Posts posted by Laney
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Thank you very much for the shout out! I hope the visualisation technique works for you.
Also could you please tell me how to tag people without quoting?
Good luck for your date
Type the @ symbol and as you begin typing the username it will pop up and you can click on it. Saw someone use it the other day and it's much easier than quoting while on mobile.
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Good luck on the date as well
Thaannks.. My track record is I end up being interested in taken, polyamorous or open relationship people. It takes time for me to recover and get back on the dating scene after each one. I wish people could walk around with signs saying "IN RELATIONSHIP" or "NON-MONOGAMOUS" so I don't have to waste my time or my heart.
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That was my problem for a long time. Fiction books became ultra boring. And all the adult ones were too odd (like the style was weird, Kurt Vonnegut is a good example, I would like to try reading him again some day), or too racey with a bunch of forced sex scenes. But then young adult is too...easy to read or poorly written.
Anyway, some I would suggest to you, @games_be_gone
Fantasy
The Rhapsody Trilogy by Elizabeth Haydon. I'm serious. This storytelling is fantastic. I could never imagine up what this author has! My problem with fantasy novels is that I can predict everything, and the main character is "too perfect to be real" (cough drizzt do urden cough) this book doesn't follow those rules and neither does the next:
The Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb. The first book, Assassins Apprentice, accurately and with great emotion depicted depression in a main character. The rest followd with a kick ass fantasy story and character progression.
Sci-fi
Not as experienced here, I haven't read too many I think I'd suggest to a non programmer so I'll list a bunch and you can see if any interest you.
Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy.
Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson.
The Ender's Game series.
Prey by Michael Crichton
The Far Side of Evil by Sylvia Engdahl
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Day 23
Firstly, I want to shout out to @AlexTheGrape who's inspired me to use the visualization technique he mentions quite often. Week three is showing me that this journey is far from over, and that quitting games for good will take a lot of effort on my part. This is the first week where I felt like I had free time: family is gone, school has started, all my gift projects are completed. Leaving me with my old habits trying to kick in. That's where I've used this vivisualization. My trigger to use it is when I'm itching to go to the habit of logging onto my computer and playing a game.
So for three days I've done this, I would describe it as pausing myself and forcing myself to become aware of: first my surroundings, then remembering my wants and goals for this week, then feeling which is more important (goal or my surroundings), then imagining the finished act or me doing the act of what I've selected I should do.
This has helped put my brain back in it's right place each and every time. I don't think doing it once a day in the morning is the right style for me, and that's okay. I'm using it and it's working! So thank you Alex.
I've made progress here but I still need to clean my car with a vacuum and cleaning supplies, throw out WAY more clothes, I've kept too many because I have a lot of cute clothes in general, but I never wear certain colors, the ones that've lost their elasticity or shape, or just don't seem appropriate for a white girl to wear-such as the red and black chinese dress I love but have never worn, cultural stuff basically, and waaaaay too many accessories to handle.
For some reason I feel I'll get an amazing sense of peace and confidence if I get all my organizing/cleaning done.
4 Things I Am Grateful For
1. The break in the rain today, the sky was gorgeous
2. The gal that let me feel included last night when I was getting anxious
3. Yoga classes that end early so I can go home and take a much needed nap
4. My body for being a champ while I abuse it with little sleep and lots of driving
An Amazing Thing That Happened Today
I now have a date on Sunday
What could I have done to make my day better?
Not be late to leave for class. I need to plan to leave earlier because I forget parking is really hard and triggers my depression.
What I will do differently tomorrow:
I will be more attentive at work, my coworker who was here for the break instilled really bad habits in me. He was constantly reading news articles instead of working and I got into the habit of browsing the internet (gamequitters included) more than my lunch and breaks allow. I'll be installing leechblock on my browser to try and initiate this.
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Whoooww! Those challenges seem so perfect! I love that you felt you didn't challenge yourself enough and kept doing it. I'm sooo checking these out!
I got my sticker this week too! I've like kept it in my purse and I keep looking at it (with fondness just like your joy was over the letter and sticker!) Yet I cant decide where to put it. Have you placed it anywhere yet?
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I've been thinking of purchasing a new radio or a wire splitter that would replace the cd player for my car. It's in that awkward stage where cassettes weren't cool anymore, and aux ports weren't in the cars yet.
Why is fiction better on the stereo for you? I thought since I can easily sit down and read fiction, listening to non fiction might be a good idea.
Thank you Tom. First, I was pretty OCD about the color scheme on the pixels, except flame and leaf, and it makes me happy that you noticed! Secondly, I am excited to learn my brushes, paints and canvases better. Progress will probably look slow or I'll have crappy days, but you guys aren't paying me so it doesn't matter
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Star wars is pretty popular, I bet there are larp groups for that. Otherwise I've never heard of a sci-fi one.
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Welcome! It's good to have people going through the same thing. I'm glad you found us, and everyone's a pro here
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I would say if you spend quite a lot of time on your avatar and building area's it would be a problem, but if you are on there to meet friends and to use as a hangout I have used a similarish chat/game/thing in the past. I would say I was addicted to it when I logged on and it was hard for me to detach and go out. It wasn't as hard as an online game but it was still up there. I spent time creating Shop items to gain in-game currency to ---> spend more time editing my avatar and her "rooms".
For socializing I would suggest something like TinyChat. It includes webcam so it makes it more realistic as well as you feel more connected to the people on the other side of the screen. And there are themed rooms where people of like minds can meet and chill.
In real life I would suggest joining a group or club that meets once a week to accomplish something. (hike, tabletop roleplaying(or LARPing!), book club, rock climbing, poi etc)
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I use Audible for audiobooks and love it. You might not retain all of it, but you can also listen on 1.5/2x speed so you can listen to it twice for each time you read it... and I use audiobooks less for "I must retain everything (ie: study)" and more to continue my mind having positive information and mindsets throughout the day.
If you want to try Audible, use this link and that will help support GQ if you decide to continue with it. You also get 2 free audiobooks to start I believe.
Is Audible unlimited books per month if you pay for it? (not free trial)
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In my eyes entertainment is anything I spend time and money on to enjoy myself. Concerts, books, movies, comedy shows, musicals, phone apps, spotify, netflix, magazine/newspaper, local radio, etc.
So I'm going to tell you about someone I know. When I went to visit my sister at law school I met my sisters roommate. This girls life is full of zero entertainment, 100% productivity. I was shocked. She said it's just the way she is. She grew up in a household where they would be awake at 5am to play hockey before going out to the farm. She feels guilty if she isn't studying or working towards something. I am sure her entertainment comes from a different place, but even she acknowledged she doesn't enjoy herself when she goes out and that she always leaves early because the guilt prevents her from having any fun.
Is it possible to live without entertainment? Yes. Is it the way you want to live your life? That's up to you
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Day 22 1/6/16
School started this week! I've been very stressed worrying about classes (was dropped from everything because I forgot to pay and thought I wouldn't be able to walk in spring because of it) But everything turned out okay and I got all the classes I need. I can stop worrying about it now and am free to focus on my personal growth and give full attention to my classes.
On Monday, I bought the painting materials I said I would get! Spent a little over $50 and got a set of brushes, seven colors of acrylic paints(red blue yellow green brown white black), a bottle of gesso(primer that allows me to paint with acrylics on any surface), a set of mini square canvases and another set of medium small canvases as well. I've been SO BAD about exercising and painting, consistently telling myself I'll do it later or do it tomorrow. From today onwards I'm scheduling late afternoons during the weekdays (3-5pm or 3-6pm) as exercise and painting time. I won't get anything done unless it's IN MY DARN PLANNER.
So it's about time it's in there.In addition, since I drive often I was thinking about getting audio books. It'd keep me entertained and I wouldn't be wasting as much time reading on the side, I could do my Self-Help 'reading' in the car instead. My only issue is, will I retain it? And is it a bad idea for them to be on CD's? My car only has a CD player and it seems rather cumbersome to eject, insert, eject, insert. Will try it out anyway, since the benefit probably outweighs in the inconvenience.
3 Things I am grateful for:
- My class and work schedule is great, I have every weekday afternoon available. Having personal goals beginning at 3pm like exercise or daily painting will be GREAT for building habits. Who knew I would love late afternoon so much?
- The blanket in my car
- For the classmate who told me it was OK. Wow. I've never had anyone tell me they didn't blame me for [blank]. I appreciate that, dude. Honestly. It creates a very open and understanding feel in the classroom, which will pave the way for deeper conversations + progress in the future. As [blank] I've always felt as though my side wasn't heard, wasn't acknowledged as real, or understood that it can be extremely hard to change/was extremely hard to change. [being vague for anonymous reasons, nothing bad/crazy at all I just know this forum is pretty public]
One amazing thing that happened today:
The storm caused a tree to fall on the road. Since the campus shuttle couldn't bring us to the far parking lot, I ended up walking there with a friendly stranger in the rain (poor guy only had a cotton hoodie). Halfway there we heard a biiig roar/whoosh and looked around. Moments later we were being pummeled by intense winds and rain! It was like we were in a hurricane or something. Nature is amazing! and very wet.
What could I have done to make my day better?
Hah..ha... I could have not gone to that kickback and drank the night before. Honestly my body was very kind to me for how unkind I've been to it this week. Obviously I'm taking steps to take care of myself, water, food etc, but my body never was on this 4½ to 7½ hours a night schedule before four months ago. In highschool I'd average 12 hours or more on weekends for sleep, and now I don't let myself sleep more than 9 when I can sleep in.
I could also keep a pair of boots in my car because wet feet are no fun.
What I am going to do differently today:
Today I will exercise and start painting.
Creative Section:
Completed and mailed the perler badge gift for a friend. It turned out really great!! They loved it.
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I have a galaxy s6 and have zero complaints, lots of compliments! If you do get one, make sure to check out the tips online for special fun features like swiping your hand over the screen to take a screen shot (normal way is power and home button together), turning phone over to silence a call, etc
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One thing that has bothered me the most is the brain fog I've been experiencing. I am sure gaming has influenced the way my brain works, but I also believe I might actually have undiagnosed ADHD-inattentive type (more commonly known as ADD). This came into mind a few days ago, when I discovered ADHD-inattentive type, of which I was previously completely unaware. Most people only know about the hyperactive type, which is the one that is easy to identify.
At first I thought there was no way this could be true... I'm just looking to justify my laziness and academic performance. But I sat down with my parents, and showed them the symptoms before I even told them what it was I think I had. They agreed that I exhibited all of them not only in high school, but as a younger child, and the story seems to make perfect sense. I know self-diagnosis is bad, but I really feel like I have some solid reasoning here.
What really got me convinced is that I have had experience in high school with depression, in particular dysthymia, which is a form that manifests itself over a longer period of time, and can go un-noticed. Coincidentally, dysthymia is most commonly either misdiagnosed (ADHD is usually the true culprit), or it accompanies ADHD, so I decided perhaps it's best to get that checked out, and see if I may have some underlying issues that need to be addressed by a professional. This semester was the first time I haven't felt depressed - I actually felt really happy! But the problem is that the brain-foggyness, and other mental fatigue issues that accompany depression remained, despite my good mood. Could be nothing, but who knows.
- I am very curious, and might ask the psychiatrist whether it is possible/probable for addictive gaming might cause ADHD. The symptoms of gaming addiction actually seem to overlap with those of ADHD... makes me wonder whether we really know much about the human brain at all.
I have adhd-primarily inattentive type. The best thing to do if you think you have it is to get tested. I did eight hours total over three to five sessions, and the results were very eye opening (they test for other learning disabilities too) as well as gave me something to hand to psychiatrists if I move away, to instantly continue treatment instead of explaining myself and trying to be re diagnosed/fighting them.
I've finished the human solo portion of the book, not sure if I'll read the corporate section. It was hard to get through but the different examples made sure people of different interests and backgrounds could understand, relate and make connections.
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Thanks for the explanation Cam =) Glad to hear about the other email lists, and I hope Convert is great!
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Ahh I see where you're coming from now, thank you for elaborating. I only read your most recent journal entry. I think that's a decent choice then for sure! Friendships should be easy, dependable and fun, not strained, hurting or awkward.
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That's some exciting progress, wow! Stoked for this coming year!
I have three matters...
First, the formatting of each section isn't the same everywhere. Posts and New Members are monthly posts and monthly new members, while Subscribers are total subscribers. I had to open the other monthly reports to make sense of the numbers. Labeling Posts as Monthly Posts or New Posts would help myself and probably others.
Second, Respawn costs $47 and $27, but 10 purchasers at most equals $470. Where'd the other $140 come from? (610-470) Or, prices have been changing maybe that's why haha, I have a bad memory for numbers.
Third, about the ConvertKit. Shouldn't we be paying $79 instead of $119? We have less than 5,000 subscribers, and since it will automatically scale with us there's no point to purchase it higher than our current email base unless you're sending more than ten emails per subscriber per month.
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Some of my friends enjoy taking girls to the same place as their first date. It allows them to compare the new girls to others, and I think it gives them a sense of comfort or control in a new/awkward situation. As you are already imagining issues with that date spot, this might not be the best idea for you. That one location seems charged with many feelings and you aren't in a place to detach from those to be 100% with a new person or be to be spontaneous in that spot.
Also I'd encourage you to not label your self worth off of being single or in a relationship. "I'm no longer willing to be the king of "just-friends-land"." You've written it as a title. Earlier in your post you said you were comfortable with yourself, and I'm sure you are in many ways. Try to ask yourself why you're insecure about being single, and about your motives for wanting a girlfriend.
I've been there, it was extremely hard for me to be motivated purely because of myself instead of because of wanting to impress and be good enough for the person I was dating. I still struggle with this, even, but now that I'm aware of it it's easier to work on things purely for myself instead of impressing others. It's similar to what your sister said, " When you're coming from a frame of giving love and value, you're happy whether the girl likes you or not because you're happy just being yourself."
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Welcome to the forums! I'm super glad you found us and are approaching this not just as quitting but as a way to enjoy life/get better.
You want to know how I got here? The same way. Googled in exasperation about how to stop thinking of my games, and found Cam's vids. Literally life saver! Honestly for the first weekend/week I was resisting the whole idea but avoided video games nonetheless. Now here I am twenty days in
PS: Fish eye lenses make every face look fun.
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The few examples on GameQuitters for gaming was about Cam's personal experience where he mentioned Counter Strike I think. Everyone's gaming experience is different and unique, and Cam has done a good job removing bias towards one type of gaming over the other. All of us can relate to the moral of the story: We are/were addicted to video games and want to improve our lives.
While a few people here may not be into the same gaming as I was, in the end it barely matters because this forum exists to create a healthy community where we can be surrounded by people who believe in us and this whole process. You don't need to be into the same lifestyles to connect on this forum. One's approach to filling the void left behind from gaming might change, but I think the 60-Hobby-Idea's PDF covers a wide array of hobbies that plenty of us could find interest in.
Edit: In response to the attachment felt to characters, a section about that or a weekly video could be beneficial? Not sure. To remove my attachment I gave away my special items in game, then uninstalled. I didn't count it as breaking my 90day detox since I felt it was something I needed to do to be rid of the game mentally. Kind of like cleaning the clutter in my room. I'm honestly still 100% attached to my characters in certain games. It hurts. I don't know.
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"You did this in two hours. Imagine what you can create if you spent four hours on a painting."
Hi Laney! Nice painting :D! You're friend is right about that, but there is something else you might want to think about too!
Imagine your skill in painting if in the future you spent the same amount of time you spent playing online never-ending rpg's. Well, let's say a healthy amount of time. I don't know how much time one needs to practice each day, but imagine you spent at least 1 hour every day painting. That's 15 days of painting at the end of the year if you only do the bare minimum. If you spent 2 hours on each painting that is 182.5 paintings. That's a lot of practice, and "practice makes perfect".
I don't know if painting is the same as drawing in this way, but in the beginning I've read quantity over quality is a better methodology. By that I mean, not totally finishing the process. IMO I need to get down the basics of drawing buildings in 2 point perspective before I jump into drawing the landscaping and learning how to shade and colour a building properly. Therefore if I just spend my time only practicing drawing buildings in a 2 point perspective, and then moving on to the next drawing once I finish the building to my liking I can get a lot more drawings in then if I took each one to the very end of the process.Thank you so much! I have even given this advice to others and hadn't connected it to painting lol. Today I'll try to go out and buy supplies to practice everyday with.
Would you suggest joining an art class? My experience is zero, but it does seem enticing to learn to paint on my own and develop my own style. I've never composed anything.. Songs, lyrics, drawings. I fear I'll have no vision on my own.
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Ah, an artist. Art is one of my passions. You did well on that piece - emphasis created on the flower in the sun is well done, with that extreme contrast. Also, the light and the dark are well balanced in the space on the painting.
Keep it up!
Thank you! Unfortunately I cannot take credit for the extreme contrast idea other than I picked this painting session specifically because of the contrast and deep golden red hues. I'm not that creative without a guide, but perhaps later I can compose an original painting when I figure out what works with my style.
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I'm reading the Power of Habit right now. It's been pretty motivational for me, understanding habits is helping me acknowledge and deal with bad ones that I have, and now I'm stoked to make new ones. Kind of cool understanding how the brain works and being in control of it even when experiencing a craving or urge.
Stumbling upon a trailer or game can be the worst at the beginning. My fifth day I got a closed beta invite. Without a supportive friend I'd have installed immediately. Instead I deleted it and celebrated. But there is hope! I've noticed it's been easier now that I'm aware. I got this odd mixture of nostalgia, and disinterest/feeling turned off when people spoke of games this week.
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Made my first painting today with my cousin. It was her Christmas gift for us to paint together. I'm very surprised at what a two hour guided painting session can accomplish.
I'll end this with a quote so we can all munch on what my friend told me, "You did this in two hours. Imagine what you can create if you spent four hours on a painting."
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My Journal - Alex
in Daily Journals
Posted · Edited by Laney
Of course, I can't read all of yours but I try to stop in when I have the time. My journaling is too long as well, trying to mitigate the length I go on personal tangents I'm not sure I need to elaborate on. It's odd because it's a public journal, not "just for me", weird balance but also great because of the community.
Also the grateful section is hard for me to fill out on days where I've been depressed.