Alkan

I'll check it out! Alright, I've started to take meditation more seriously after I had a day where I was suddenly able to focus in class. Started the process of getting checked out for ADHD, depression and anxiety so that I can make a case to have some past shitty grades forgiven.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I_u4oZqF8c I forgot to mention the 40% rule earlier. I've been implementing it in conjunction with The Power of Habit and The Slight Edge. When I did my first race, when I was halfway up the hill, I felt like I was done. I kept up the same effort level the whole way up and sprinted at the end. The 40% rule video became visceral when applying that to the way I do things in my life. I just had an 18 hour work day. Left at 6 am, stopped doing stuff right around midnight. Not all of that was pure work, of course. There was plenty of stuff in the middle of all of that. But my persistence has really increased dramatically. I'm becoming hungry to totally conquer each day through sheer will to power. Breaking it down, the reward is feeling strong and powerful - what I gained from The Power of Habit. From The Slight Edge, I gained the sense that I need to be directing my desire to conquer every day towards all of the little things. And, the 40% rule is the thing that gives me the belief and drive to crush it.

Yep, that's pretty much how The Power of Habit works, I've noticed. That's kind of the major key that you get from the book, but listening to the book really engrains the concept into your mind so that you have a better sense of how to actually focus on what the outcome of an action will be, and focus on the positive feelings of doing something you want to do, as well as the negative feelings that will result in doing something that doesn't benefit you in the long run. I'm noticing that I'm also getting used to being more busy. I think this will be my best semester yet. It's like I've developed this massive disdain for sitting around and doing nothing, or relaxing. It's almost like I don't see the point. I have energy and I'm enjoying myself, so why would I stop doing that? Lol.

Hmmm. The slight edge has already had a huge impact. Just did 60 seriously taxing push ups today, first time I started working on upper body (I'm already in good cycling shape). That was after a bike ride of 42ish miles where I did a bunch of sprints along the ride and biked a couple of miles up a mountain. I ate healthier, maintained my place, got things I needed for classes, went on a little coffee date. Stuff's going even better now. What I really, really need now is something to help me deal with the fact that I procrastinate on a lot of bureaucratic things. Also, just general dealing with fear.

We usually recommend The Power of Habit first then The Slight Edge. Seems to cover a lot of the key points. I just got started on The Slight Edge. Its core concept is actually simple, so that already had a big impact. It's recognizing that the little "harmless" decisions are actually very, very big that makes a big difference in how motivated you are not to make them.

Finished reading The Power of Habit. Wish I had picked that one up earlier. I think this whole process would have gone a lot faster. Perhaps people should mention more game-changing books in the behavioral change realm. It also makes me want to go more on the straight and narrow with more things. Learning about breaking bad habits with new routines and the same rewards and triggers is rather major. Also, in a way, it's like I now have a way to realistically put a lot more of what I want to improve about myself into action. So, I'll be using my evenings for improvement, rather than mindless browsing.

I noticed a really potent concept: lowering tolerance. When you lower your tolerance for certain bad habits, or lack of good habits, it moves you to action more quickly. You can amplify your disgust at inaction, procrastination, fear, hesitation, etc. It is not a process of self-loathing. That would be quicksand. It's a bit different than that. It's actually a lot different than that. Think about things you already don't tolerate. Now, think about things that you wish you didn't tolerate. Now, stop tolerating them. Let it irritate you more. Don't try to feel good about it. Just do something to alleviate the irritation. Things I am going to stop tolerating: -Lacking confidence and assertiveness. I especially need to do this with things like work scheduling. -General forms of irresponsibility (like procrastinating on important things). -Spending too much time browsing crap on the internet. -General lack of focus and productivity. It's kind of easier to touch on a lot of bases at once by just lowering tolerance for general stuff I don't like. You know that nagging feeling you get when you feel you should be doing something else. I'm deciding basically to not tolerate ignoring that voice.

That was a really great article - a very awesome one. It kind of kicked me in the face a little bit, actually. And, in a good way, of course.

Yeah, I'll totally post it when it is done, then ask for feedback! I won't quit working on it until it delivers on what I aim to deliver on. Simplicity, comprehensiveness and versatility, mainly. I also want it to feel enjoyable to use, and give someone the sense that they're progressing through life. Speaking of which... Just had an anti-procrastination idea with this noticing that breaking everything down into small steps makes things clearer. When you know you need to do something, visualize the path to doing it, and start on the very next actionable thing (this is part is from Getting Things Done if you've read that book yet). So, you try to keep this mental map of your goals and follow this single pathway of steps, each one representing progress. I also intend to make it something that will work for more "right-brained" people.

Okay, so... Coming up with better designs on my app, adding more features without reducing ease of use. My friend who does the coding is about to start on it after I came up with the final designs for the app icon and logo. Faced some serious game cravings recently. Thankfully they're passing again. I'll just say this: I'm thankful I did some smart things several months ago to make relapsing a much more difficult thing to do.

Awesome job with the app and everything else. Cravings during summer are normal. Being busy is certainly the solution in many ways. It certainly is. One thing that helps is remembering that when I was addicted to games had like literally nothing interesting to talk about. Usually when you haven't seen someone for a while you have something new to say, but I had like nothing when I was gaming.

I didn't expect to have cravings this bad at this point in time. It's clearly because it's summer and my brain has this "oh, I have all this free time" sense, even though that's bullshit because I'm volunteering in a lab, working a part time job and trying to develop this app that I mentioned with my friend. And I want to be in race shape, though I may have been overtraining. At least I've been working on this app steadily now for quite a while.

Cam, I never really realized I hadn't appreciated just how much you stay engaged with us all. It really is incredible and awesome that you put in that much personal effort of your own. Thank you.

Well, I've updated the process a bit. Basically made a morning and evening version of both to keep focus on both ends of the day. It's a very nice way of keeping track of your dreams, goals and updating them, refining them, etc. It's kind of a nice idea workflow method. I may try to make an app out of it. I think the concept will be that instead of trying to be overly comprehensive, I'll aim for immediate ease of use. I.e. start someone out with default settings that they can later customize, but where it's a very simple layout. I have a bunch of ideas that would make the layout insanely simple and easy to use. I just look at all these productivity apps and I honestly get a headache trying to make sense of them. They always sport pretty graphics, but just a really clunky interface - one that makes my manual use in Notes preferable. Basically, it would be easier to code an app that is less bloated and it would just work better.

The biggest mistake I made in this area was expecting instantaneous results. I actually got better over the course of about a year when I really started focusing on it. I still procrastinate, but I am still improving at it, and actually understand all of the complex causes. It's a research project for you, basically. I could link you stuff, but you wouldn't learn it as effectively without spending the time that it takes to really defeat it and going through it the hard way. So, get creative and literally focus on productivity as a project in and of itself.

I've started my new method of organizing my days. Summer has really made for a lot of empty time that I really have to manhandle into productivity. So, I've created this format: This so far seems to be working well, and it's a lot more fun. It helps me keep perspective and keep organized with what I'm trying to accomplish. It keeps me from following all the random creative ideas that I have as a particularly creative type. Arcs are essentially like story arcs, spanning a larger narrative. For instance, one might be "becoming an entrepreneur." Or, maybe it's something that you think will take 30 years to accomplish. Another might be "becoming a good artist." I like the word arc - it has this sense of grandness to it, like a journey. A friend of mine actually suggested "epic" as a larger category encompassing arcs. I might use that idea as well. Projects are things that break down those general trends into more specific things. So, if you want to be an entrepreneur, your current project at hand will be listed in projects. Tasks are things that need to be done.

Not exactly sure what to do with my summer. I have this entrepreneurial side that I have been dying to develop, but haven't known which way to go about doing it. I'm not sure how I'm going to go about it. I'm hunting for radical success in life, and I've set my mind on doing what it takes to accomplish that, whatever flames I have to walk through to get there. I'm looking at pushing myself through another period of rapid growth, and I'm kind of in this "in the air" too many options sort of mode right now. But, I think right now that's okay. I have a few things to focus on, like setting up this volunteer research position so that I'm set for independent study and hopefully paid research next year. Taking the concept of "what happens to you makes you stronger" I'm going to make things "happen to" me by not letting myself ease up on the gas. I'm cleaning up my apartment, setting it up, going to get more organized. So, definitive goals: -Do well with this research and learn a lot from it. -Develop further socially. -Learn to more effectively out distractions and focus on one task at a time. -Lose 15 pounds by a particular bike race in July and increase my overall endurance and power. -Expand my piano repertoire -Improve at art -Read several more books in the self-improvement area. -Develop in the entrepreneurial era. So, too much stuff, still, so stuff will have to go. But, I'm sort of working on taking this assortment of chaos and pulling something coherent and new out of it.

So much to do before the semester ends. I'm realizing that working a part time job that goes late at night is quite terrible for me, since I'm a morning person. My mental energy is most effectively harnessed in the morning. Hell, one of my pleasures is waking up at 5 am, naturally, just as the sun is starting to rise. I live in Arizona, so, hot weather comes later in the day, making biking much more difficult and somewhat dangerous. So, goal: find a way to get out of that situation. Also, today's goal is to be less stressed out by getting a lot done. I've really come to realize that the best way to deal with a lot on your plate is to really focus on one thing at a time. When you're focused on something, it's easier to come back to it, and you spend less time remembering where you left off. Nonetheless, this competes with the advantages of spaced practice, where you learn, then you sleep on what you learn. Not spending too much time worrying about what to be working on when it's all high priority is also important.

It's all part of the process. Don't get too caught up in the micro level right now. Keep working at it and trust that long-term, you'll look back on this and see that it wasn't really that big of a deal and it all worked out just fine. That's true, because I've developed the tenacity to claw my way out of shitty situations, as well as developed an ability to put out a strong effort in the face of uncertainty.

Frustrated with the big academic hole that gaming caused - it's like so many doors have been shut. I've been trying to figure out a way to pry them back open, while keeping in mind that I need to really think about what I want to do and spend time on. I did pretty poorly. I have to basically pry a steel trap door open.

That's fairly similar to what I did. I spent a lot of time just understanding the brain and how it works. It's the only thing that's worked for me. I've had such a fluid, creative approach to improving myself. I thought of it more like your brain is a force field and the decision you make is a particle. If you model neurons firing, you actually get a random walk pattern. That is, it looks like the graph of the stock market. So there will be this sort of net "energy" towards a specific decision, and it will fluctuate randomly with a propensity to favor one side or the other. So, sometimes randomly you will do the decision that you were otherwise less likely to make. You can probably guess that I'm not a particularly strong proponent of the idea of free will. I did a lot of meditation, and I track my decisions and thinking. It's pretty eye-opening, realizing how hopeless I was to actually change anything before with nothing but force of will. It works if you happen to be a person who has a naturally strong force of will. What I noticed as I grew my willpower was that it simply got easier to say no to distractions. Yet, most people treat effort like it's a matter of moral fiber or ambition. We cast people aside who struggle with willpower. And, people who struggle with willpower put boxes around themselves and give up on their dreams. I'm extremely ambitious, but I lacked the ability to properly act on it.

I noticed recently that I actually did make pretty good use (with training) of using my understanding of game motivation to actually change how I look at my own life. In this way, I've found a way to use my past history of gaming addiction. For instance, I've trained* myself to see every minute I spend on something as valuable. This is very much in line with how games give you some sort of resource (like skill points) that cannot be taken away. So, the trick was to stop seeing time without immediate results as a waste of time. It's training. It's training myself to push myself harder, to work harder, to concentrate. And, every minute I spend doing that, I get better at it by a small amount. So, I imagine that I have this resource pool of time spent that is analogous to experience in RPGs. So far it has led to less procrastination and more focus. *I underlined this word because training takes time on scales of weeks and months. Getting actual behavioral results is a matter of spending this kind of time on it.

Unfinished color but I'm done working on it since I can see so many problems and the file is too huge. Lol.

You could just become like me where you become addicted to ambition and success. Lol.

I'm sure it will. Time will allow for it this week. This week transformed my brain. I started playing the piano today, recorded myself, and for the first time ever, I actually got goosebumps from my own playing because I was nailing the nuances. I was also able to play with substantially more speed and accuracy, with this very, very uncanny comfort. To make things stranger, I hadn't really touched the piano in a week - I just was doing a lot of physics. I think it's my working memory - I think it has increased. I linked an article from PNAS (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences) about working memory training boosting cognitive abilities across the board. I'm starting to believe it viscerally. I feel like I took some sort of strange drug that increased my focus and intelligence. So, now my homework and studying has an addictive flavor to it. With that said, I think I've reached yet another level.