NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Cam Adair
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Posts posted by Cam Adair
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Day 23 & Day 24
Great job with the acts of kindness! How did it feel? ?
Social service sounds good. I have some bonus missions I've been putting together so you can substitute one of those for these missions you haven't been able to do being in Austria/from a small town. I'll post those in a few days.
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Days 10-13
Hey man! Thanks for sharing.?
So the thing with The Slight Edge (TSE) is not to overthink it. It's more of a philosophy that you want to focus on little improvement every day and that's it. Having a mantra of "stronger than yesterday" for example. This happens in every little way you want. But remember, it's a process over a long period of time, so just keep working at it and continuing to push forward and adapt as necessary. A lot of your message was exactly that.
For mornings one thing I truly believe is that if you don't know why you're getting up tomorrow it's hard to get up. So maybe before you go to bed every night, think about one thing you're legitimately excited about for tomorrow. I want to wake up tomorrow because I get to go work and explore a new city here in Thailand. So I don't want to stay in bed. For me that's where I'm at, but for you there's something in every day for you to be excited towards. Find it.
Next, when I find myself staying in bed it's usually because I'm feeling overwhelmed. So you need to identify what's feeling overwhelming and break it down into smaller parts. Most likely, you're just being hard on yourself. Remember it's all about momentum. This weekend you had a decent weekend but not an overly productive one (as you said), so in some way that momentum builds into the week and unless you shift it (and by that I mean shifting your perspective), you are likely to just want to go through the motions.
Also remember, you are still at the beginning of your journey man. You're making great progress but if you evaluate yourself based on where you want to be in 6 months but you're expecting that now, of course you're going to be discouraged.
That's the thing, you get a choice in every moment: do you focus on encouragement (which empowers you towards doing the things you want), or discouragement (which comes from guilt and shame). By you focusing on that certain someone and how they are making all the right moves you're getting outside of yourself and creating discouragement because it means you aren't good enough.
And this comes down to beliefs. Check out this equation:
Beliefs -> Thoughts -> Feelings -> Actions -> Results
Results -> Actions -> Feelings -> Thoughts -> Beliefs
It works both ways. So what your beliefs create your thoughts which cause your feelings which dictate your actions and your actions produce your results.
So you can play with any part of this equation. If you want different results, focus on ideally your beliefs because they are at the root of it. Anytime you aren't feeling how you want, think about what you're thoughts are in the moment (or the past few moments), and then dive into what kind of beliefs about yourself your thoughts are expressing.
Now that you're aware of it, how can you shift your belief from one that is discouraging you to one that is encouraging and empowering? That's where the magic happens.
Willpower is definitely a muscle. You have to work with it just like you go to the gym. Some days you feel like it and some days you don't. The most important days are both. When you don't feel like it, you need to go. But when you do feel like it, you also need to go. And take advantage of those days because you know you don't always feel like it.
And always remember your why. Read it every morning.
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I'll be out in the NYC area in September. Not sure if AHL will be starting yet, but if not I'll keep everything in mind the next time I'm up in the area.
I played defence mostly. I was an in-your-face stay at home defencemen who liked to hit. Here's a pic. (This guy was 200lbs. I've never been more than 145 in my life. haha.)
My biggest rival growing up was T.J. Galiardi. He just played a few years in the NHL. The battles him and I had growing up happened for years. We really didn't like each other much. Thomas Hickey (NYI) is also a player I played against every year growing up. Great player.
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Day 8
But i did put the last of my CS go items on opskins.com so as of now i can start putting all my steam accounts onto a trade site.
?Good job dude!
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?I want to visit different countries! I'm really interested in Japan, Russia and Ireland for example. There will be more, but i think i visit those first
Another big one is to get myself in shape. Im not fat but a little bit overwight, so i want to build up my muscles.
There are also some things i could do right after quitting. (wrote more about those changes in my journal)
Beeing seperated from my gamer friends had also a positive impact in my opinion. There were always some toxic guys,that dragged me down. Now im looking for new friends, who fit better into my new life.
?That's awesome! Maybe we will end up in Japan at the same time spontaneously! You know know.
Leprosy is from Russia so if you head that way hit him up.
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Hey! Thanks for joining us here! I love Germany, it's a beautiful country. I hope to come back there soon! Maybe even stop by Austria again and hang out with both you in Germany and Matthias in Austria!
Congrats on taking the step to quit. You mentioned goals you always wanted to reach but didn't. What are some of them? I'd love to hear more!
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I kinda relapsed tonight.
?All good man. It happens. Just good to identify the process that led you there.
Being mad is one emotion. Being that much more committed to being your best is another. One encourages you to keep going, one fills you with guilt and shame (which you then try to escape with...
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It's also worth noting that the average book is about 200 pages, and based on average reading speeds you can read about 30 pages an hour.
200 pages divided by 7 days = 28.57/pages/day to finish an average book each week.
So if you read an hour a day, you should be able to do it.
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Oh you uploaded it to the forum. Haha. I had no idea. That way we don't have to download it to watch.
(Don't worry, that won't stop me right now.) Try uploading it to YouTube (set the privacy to unlisted).
BTW, great moves, great song. "God damnit, Cam." maybe me laugh.
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just got done watching the rejection ted talk, that must have been hella-scary. (and awesome job on it, serious props)?Thanks for watching! I forgot to come back to this on Monday but the talk itself was a lot of fun. The first one (TEDxBoulder) was much scarier, but I used it as an opportunity to push past a major fear. Still blows my mind it even happened haha.
Day 7 (7 days not gaming, 3 days without weed)
Finally I've started reading the Challenge that Cam wrote, pretty solid material and would recommend to anybody on this site who hasn't already bought it. <3 DAT psychology
?Introspection and finding the time to actually think about what you want is a huge step. Don't underestimate it. The reason more people aren't living the type of life they want is because they aren't even aware of what that looks like to them. It's hard to create something you aren't aware of! And remember, it will evolve over time. When I first quit I had no idea I'd be writing this to you from Thailand, but over time that's where things have gone. There's been so many small changes along the way that have led to where I am today. The same will happen for you.
For example, learning more about diet and nutrition was a major step for me. Traveling was more of an exercise in wanting to see if I could actually travel and maintain my diet (I don't eat any gluten, dairy or soy) when I was in countries that I didn't speak the language. So I challenged myself to go and try it, and it's all worked out for the most part.
If you haven't been to a farmers market before, bring your girlfriend (girls like them) and talk with the farmers. Ask them about vegetables or ingredients you have never seen before and what would pair well together. Then go home and cook it together. It's a great date and a lot of fun.
Happy you're enjoying the beginning chapters of the challenge. It was a lot of fun for me to write!
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?Haha I love reading your journals. Especially the meditation experience made me laugh over here in Thailand. You're learning a lot and this is going to be foundational for you moving forward. Keep going.
Thanks for watching the rejection talk. That was such an amazing experience. What's the nearest big city to you now? Maybe I'll be there some time and we can catch a game, or go shoot some pucks around. Let me know!
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Day 22.
?That's great. I definitely relate to being more interested in conversations since I quit gaming. When I was gaming my brain was caught up in just wanting to be back home gaming.
For the challenge, we might just need to tweak it a bit. On Days Day 24 and 28 you'll have two similar (but different) missions. Maybe you can do one of them twice as your Day 22 mission.
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I read about the keystone habit which is the habit that serves as a foundation for other good habits to be formed. I feel like this journal has become my keystone habit. The feedback has been instrumental in my second good habit, meditation, and third, reading a good book. Thanks to all who have posted here for that! Even if I don't post much, I'm going to prioritize posting.
Today I started a new job at my company. It seems like a much better environment than my last job. I also found the time to meditate in the morning before work (I typically struggle with mornings) and will meditate before bed. Also, my child has just begun teething! She's growing up so fast!
Yes, that's exactly right. One of my keystone habits is making my bed every morning. It takes 20 seconds and feels great.
What's amazing is by continuing to invest in yourself by writing in your journal, meditating and reading, in a year you will be blown away at how much of a positive change you've had in your life. BIG change doesn't happen through BIG changes. It happens through small ones done consistently.
A new job can also make a significant difference. The important of your environment is something I truly believe in.
Great to hear about your kid, that must be an incredible experience every day.
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Day 21.
So, i went to a coffeeshop today and payed some random guy his coffee. He thanked me a lot and said that it was the nicest thing someone has done to him in a long time and that he has a shitty job and a lot of problems in his relationship - and that i made his day a lot better. I think i am starting to understand the slight edge. That it is not the big things that make us happy, but the small things we do for other people.
Hey man! Great to have you back from your holidays. Forum is beginning to build!
I love how your friends thought you were crazy being in the water. One of my friends named Sam loves organizing cold lake dives every morning when we go camping. He wakes up at 6am to do it and invites anyone else to join him. He just does it as a test for himself. It's great.
Your holidays sound so fun. Did you take any pictures? How did you find the conversation? Were you more engaged? I remember going to Italy on a family vacation back when I was playing games and I didn't even care. I just wanted to be home playing online. Seems silly now but that was true for my experience at the time.
Your experience at the coffee shop was perfect. That's exactly what can happen when you take a second to acknowledge someone else and focus on how can you make their day better. See how he opened up and started sharing about himself? That was his desire inside (even if it was unconscious at the time) to connect with someone else. You just had to take the first step to show him you cared!
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Day 9 or so
?Great to have you back! I love going to the farmers market, it's one of my favorite things. Also, it's a great thing to do with other people.
Can't wait to see the dance video, haha!
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Ed also has a sweet blog called 52in52weeks.com where he's reading 52 books in 52 weeks and leaving a review each time!
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Day 5:
?Being busy is a good thing, especially right now when you're new to moving on from games. I basically stayed as busy as I could for an entire year when I first quit... it was pretty funny. Continue to focus on what you really want now that you've quit games. Focusing on how you will feel about yourself now and in a future months as you continue to progress and live life with integrity is the key. When I spoke at TEDxBoulder I was mega-anxious for five weeks up until the date. Every time I got a bit crazy I focused on how I would feel after it was done (proud of myself) and that helped ease my emotions.
The contributions you're making for your family is huge. Big ups to you. This is the type of action that goes a far way not only to develop better relationships with each of them but also to develop a better one with yourself. Contributing and being of service is one of the most powerful ways we can improve our self-esteem and confidence.
Thanks for grabbing the challenge. Really appreciate it and looking forward to reading about it!
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Hey! NPR can be good for sure. Check out the Tim Ferriss Podcast, it's one of my favorites. I bet you'd enjoy it a lot.
Happy to hear you're reading The Power of Habit. When it comes to Habits, it's one of the best. If you want to track your habits (this helps immensely), try Coach.me
The most important thing for today is to notice that there are going to be times in your life (many times!) where you have stress or different emotions, so it's not about avoiding these (although designing your life in a way that minimizes them is optimal imo), because they will still occur, but how you respond to them and adapt is crucial. So, props to you for doing that today and I just want to encourage you to continue this in the future!
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Awesome! Keep up with the meditation habit, it's a perfect way to start your morning and will help you maintain more stability in your day.
And great job with your education. That's a big goal and one you should feel proud of that you're working towards each day you do.
One question: On your 90 minute commute, what do you listen to? Is it music? Radio? News? Podcasts? I'd highly recommend either listening to podcasts (see a list here) or listening to audiobooks (use Audible). You'll be blown away by how many books you can "read" (which will help you not only help you learn but keep you in a more positive growth mindset) by using the 180 minutes (commute both ways) each day. Podcasts can also be really interesting and inspiring.
Try it out. One book to add to your list is The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It'll help you understand how you can maintain the habits you sometimes have a hard time with.
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?This has never occurred to me before! It's just like how I look back on partying like a young twenty-something fondly, but since I'm a family man now, I don't do that anymore.
?Exactly. It helps a lot to see our life from the point of different chapters and I think this really helps especially with gaming. We don't need to hold onto it, we can appreciate it for what it was and move forward towards something new!
I meditated for the first time ever. It has helped with the anxiety that has been plaguing me for the last week. I was close to shedding a tear of happiness which is profound for me since I almost never cry.
?This is perfect! Keep meditating each day and you'll continue to get a lot of amazing experiences and insights from it. Meditation allows us to slow down and reconnect with our true selves. The science behind it is crazy awesome too!
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?Does this mean that you have fond memories of games without feeling guilty about those memories? I feel like this is a very important statement, and I really want to understand what you mean.
?Yes, exactly. It's that you can look back on it as something that was a fun time in your life and it was meaningful without feeling guilty or regret or that you need to continue it now. It's just a chapter in your life that has now closed to create space for something new.
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?I didn't meet anyone new today because I stayed at the house cause everyone is gone and I was watching the dogs and cat. Your instructions say find someone you think is attractive... but mmkay?
?Got it! I might need to update that. Want to make sure everything is gender-neutral, single/married, etc.
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Day 8
I walked the dog, took a history test online, and decided that I want to hike one of the tall hills a couple miles from my house. I'll post pics tomorrow when its sunny. I never do things like that but I'm in the mood for adventures and besides I need fun activities to replace video games, which by the way I haven't felt any cravings for.
Umm, I didn't meet anyone attractive today (except that one person I saw in the mirror
lol jk) So this challenge is gonna have to be delayed. Tomorrow I am going to the gym, grocery store, and farmers market, so I should be able to complete the challenge. Hopefully.?These kind of hiking challenges or adventures is exactly what you want to start doing now that you don't have games. For instance, yesterday after lunch my girl and I decided to go walk around a lake here in Thailand. When we got there it wasn't as sweet as we thought, so we looked at a mountain nearby and just said: "Let's go scooter into the mountain." We drove on the scooter for about 30 minutes, found a temple, some lookout spots, got a coconut and just had a fun time.
When you have games you constantly go to them and honestly it causes you to miss out on a lot of spontaneity and adventure you could be having that will bring more fulfillment to your life because you're living it.
For the challenge it doesn't matter about someone being attractive. The point is to find something you appreciate about someone regardless of who they are. If anything, it's better if you find a 50 year old male and find a way to show them appreciation.
My Journal - Joe
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?I still can't believe he made it. Good for him though, he kept working hard and persevered. Earned his spot.
?Keep up with the meditation. Remember what it talks about in the practice: sometimes you'll be distracted with a lot of thoughts, and in these times just refocus on coming back to the center. There could be many reasons why you're feeling the way you did. It could be a detox from gaming, it could be your internal resistance to change. Whatever it is, it's all good. Recognize it as something that is flowing through you and it will pass.
Life is a wave. Things will come and go. Just like these emotions came out of nowhere, they will also go away out of nowhere. Be still and let them pass. Be extra mindful in times like these. Emotions are a crazy thing.