NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
thehondasc00py
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Posts posted by thehondasc00py
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I remember playing a bunch of flash games around the mid-oughts. It was Jay Is Games, Newgrounds, and Kongregate. I fell off Kongregate before they added achievements, but I went there constantly for a little bit.
How was Japan, though? I've always wanted to go, if nothing else than to check out all the great underground and punk music coming out of it. People always think about the bustling cities, but apparently the countryside is really nice, too.
Wow, Newgrounds! I used to watch so much nonsense on there as a kid.
Japan is right up there on my bucket list. I romanticise about it a lot. Sometimes I picture myself just chilling in a tiny but cosy appartment in downtown Tokyo. I look out of the window, dense electric wires, neon lights and everything, hit the bong and jam to the tunes. Maybe I'll spend some time on the japanese countryside, space out on a tatami mat next to a crystal clear pool of lotus leaves and drown in the richness of life. I might retrace the journey of certain characters from a certain anime I know and love. I want to see the country's greatest art and climb it's highest peak.
I only recently rediscovered how to dream
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Why is this so hard for me to answer today? Possibly because I feel so much went wrong. I felt swamped by the above mentioned stress. As a result I kept filling my face with food. Thinking about that deeper, I may have actually been not eating enough. I’m doing a lot of physical activity at the moment, and probably underestimate just how much I need to be eating. So my body gives in and I snack. Even if this is the case, I know in the past I’ve using food to make me feel more comfortable when facing high-stress situations like assessment deadlines. This is something I would love to tackle in the stages after I’ve successfully removed gaming from my life.
Yep food cravings always arise in the presence of some kind of suffering - boredom, stress, agitation, regret and the list goes on. It can be really subtle, almost subconscious even. If you're having a craving, then something's not quite right. You're not satisfied with current experience. But it's hard, and we've all been there and will be there again. But on the times I do manage to sit with, embrace and investigate the suffering instead of indulging, I give myself MASSIVE props and positive reinforcement. Because that shit's hard.
Just a reminder to myself: I meditated today and felt like I was finally starting to ‘get’ the visualisation part of it.
Yo what visualisation part is that? Meditation is really about surrendering to what is, and simply, mindfully observing phenomena arise and pass away, not creating it.
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Quote I’m contemplating:
“I always say that I’ll go first… That means if I’m checking out at the store, I’ll say hello first. If I’m coming across somebody and make eye contact, I’ll smile first. I wish people would experiment with that in their life a little bit: Be first, because - not all times, but most times - it comes in your favour. The response is pretty amazing…” - Gabby ReeceThanks for this quote mate. I needed to hear it. Just today I almost got a bit pissed because it feels like I'm always the one "having" to go up and introduce myself to people and start conversation, no one just comes up and talks to me, everyone is just in their own world minding their own business, shy, or whatever. German culture. Travelling Asia meeting international, interesting and highly outgoing people was a different experience. But this is a bit childish. I will take pride in stepping up, showing up, being different, going first.
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The Chrome plugin I'm using to block them counted like 15 attempts to visit each of those sites by the end of the day. CTRL+T, "reddit.com" or "facebook.com" is habitual at this point. I don't even think about it and in the past all it really led to was a loop of "wonder what's on reddit...nothing...wonder what's on facebook...nothing...wonder what's on facebook...etc.etc." Super unproductive. I've thought about whitelisting a few subreddits because there are quite a few super high-quality ones in line with my non-gaming hobbies (/r/artisanvideos, /r/gardening, /r/worldbuilding). I'm worried that will be a slippery slope. Maybe a good solution would be ot create a new account and subscribe only to a handful of solid, quality subreddits.
Hello and welcome to the journey due88
For internet, you could check out this funny little extension. It's called Forest, and it plants a seed that slowly grows into a tree as long as you do not try to browse your blacklisted websites while it's open. If you manage to grow the tree, you can move onto another and build your own little forest and show it off to others. Bit of an extra, fun little kick.
I've done the new account thing with Reddit, Youtube, and also Facebook. Deleted my FB account, made a new one with only a few close friends, and liked a bunch of article sites on science, motivation, music and spirituality. It serves me quite well. I seldom feel the need to even open it but when I do it actually gives me value!
And looks like we're in the same boat regarding WoW. Let's keep eachother strong when the next expansion releases
PS. If the laptop is only a couple weeks old, you could still sell it probs for 1k, buy a cheap one for like 300 and make 700 return, no?
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Continuation of Day 17
Was all over the place today. I spent hours trying to open up a bitcoin wallet but couldn't get it to work which kind of put me in a low vibrational state. And my money is starting to run out again. And I've been thinking about getting a tattoo for some months now but could never decide what I wanted to I spent some more hours today gaining inspiration. I drew up some ideas, I came up with a tree with autumn leaves blowing down my forearm to symbolize impermanence and change. This all distracted me from Uni and Socialising quite a bit. I just briefly showed up for 2 self examination exams, maths and chemistry. Totally flunked math, only got halfway, while chemistry was a joke. Gonna take a complementary math course.
I'm already kind of tired of the social game. I just want one or two good friends who I resonate with and can be 100% open and comfortable with and have it over and done with and refocus on my path. This whole trying to make friends, mingling with groups but not really feeling like I belong is just a pain in the ass. Quest update: no yoga and no real friend yet but I've talked to a bunch of girls although I'm not counting it yet, eg I went and talked to a group of girls standing around but only to ask if they know how to access the campus wifi lol. Not with any serious intention to build some kind of relationship which is what THE QUEST DEMANDS OF ME, HONDASC00PY, DESTROYER OF WORLjust kidding.
I feel in a weird place sometimes. I get these flashes of inspiration, momentary visions of how amazing my life could be down the road. And other times I just..meh. Now is one of those times, but it's time to get to bed and start a fresh day tomorrow, hopefully with some more success. Gonna swing by the local tattoo studio after uni. And, I've gotta step forward and grab some numbers in Uni so I have extracurricular contact with someone and get this thing kickstarted.
Drained. Empty. Low Vibes
Dead. So I tell no lies
Yeah, can't always be so high
'Cause right now I'm just lo-fi
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@Cam Adair My pleasure. I've been into personal development for 2 years now, but gaming always held me back. I think GameQuitters gave me a final push over the edge. Cheers.
@SlackRamen Yeh do it!
Day 17
3 Long Term Goals:
- travel or live in japan
- become a great music producer
- complete my degree
Yesterday went well. I talked to a lot of people, mingled, showed up. I want to expand my social circle even more with meetups and clubs. Hopefully I find some people who are into actualization or music and stuff.
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Day 16
What I'm grateful for:
- Cam for creating GameQuitters and being an awesome guy
Yesterday was an important day. I felt some anxiety on the train on the way to the new town, and homesickness when I got there. But I eventually made myself go for a run+cold shower and felt great. Went out and explored the town, treated myself to some crazily delicous pumpkin soup at a local restaurant. I'm doing this.
Today I went out for groceries, raised my run time, took pretty much the best cold shower humanity has ever seen, now I'm sitting here. I'm fit, I'm sorted, I'm going in. It's the first appointment at Uni now, introduction speech and some other stuff. I've set up a couple of quests for myself to complete over this week;
- make a friend
- talk to a girl
- sign up for a yoga class
Alright, that's it.
Flowing vibrations
energizing my body,
charging up my mindNew expansion "World of Worldcraft: University" just released, hope the servers run smooth..
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@giblets killing it with the replies! Look at all those Australian flags. Aussie Aussie Aussie!
Lol admit it you Aussies are just trying to get in all those replies before your internet inevitably cuts off
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@thehondasc00py I love the vibes your new piece bring! Exactly the type of music I love. Where have you been all my life when I've been searching for something this chill? I'm listening to it on repeat while replying to posts now.
Awesome. You've been to Asia too? Let me guess, you went to Indonesia. It's just a hop over the pond for you Aussies. I had am amazing time there, it's probably my favorite country.
Actually, I was in Japan for 11 months. For how close Indonesia is, I regret that I haven't been. It's definitely on my list of places to visit. You would recommend it?
Really nice art you bought though. I'm digging the asian theme (something I can hear in your music as well).
Indonesia was amazing man, if you're receptive and open to everything. It was the country I visited right in the middle of my trip, after having gained initial experience and confidence in the first countries, but also before getting burnt out. I was on top of the world. Quite literally, my profile picture is me standing triumphantly on Mt Semeru, tallest peak in Java, summited solo and in half the normal time. Shit, the moment I summited was the best moment of my life, it was insane.
Imagine lying in your tent at the final, pre-summit camp trying to catch a couple hours rest before the climb. I was tossing and turning, riddled with intense anxiety about the climb. I had done so much to get here, sneaked past the basecamp guards because I had no permit, bought all my tent stuff, imagined myself at the peak, what if I failed? Couldn't get up? What would I think of myself? The recommended time for starting the ascent was 12pm if you wanted to make the sunrise, with the average ascension time being 5 hours. I set out at 11:30. What was the final climb? 1000 altitude meters of sheer steep af volcanic sand it was ridiculous, you went 1 step up and slid half a step back down, but I was so terrified of not making it that some primitive survival mode kicked in, and I just crawled up that volcano like a maniac.
I kept taking breaks to check my phone how much altitude I had left..800m..700m...650m.. and what made it worse was that it was pitch black and I kept losing my way and ending up completely lost and having to backtrack. eventually I hit 3620m..50m left...
And I couldn't reach the summit. Everywhere I went I kept getting blocked by either a ravine or huge impassable boulders. It was really rocky and basically there was one tiny opening in the boulders somewhere but to find it you had to be on exactly the right place and the terrain was impassable with gulches and ravines. I could see on my phone I was so close, yet so far. At that point I really panicked. I backtracked for a while and kept going left and right, eventually, I saw a cigarette butt in the sand. Boom, a trail. The cigarette butt turned into a piece of plastic, then a discared cap, eventually a...FLAG? Oooooooooh snap??!! Climbing the last meters, seeing the flag, the entrance, I just remember yelling "YES. YES. YES. YES" and when I got through and hit the summit, damn. That was epic. "Elation" doesn't come close to describing it. And it was only 2:30. So theeeeen I spent 3 hours sitting alone on a volcano freezing my butt off until the sun came up, that was divine.Christ, that was a derail. I should be journalling about today??? But I just vividly remembered what a time that was and the fingers started typing.
Anyway @SlackRamen Indonesia is amazing. If you're open, and receptive, and adventurous..your attitude manifests in experience..strangers you meet will offer you so much compassion..free stays..laughs. Do it with CouchSurfing. And climb all the volcanoes. So cool.Also thank you so much for listening to and enjoying the tunes. That's motivating. I hope I can keep this up now with Uni in the fold, and turn it into something beautiful.
Day 14 (what, only now? yes.)
I did fall into a bit of a slump during midday and started watching a movie, but the framework I have built in my life allowed me to recover quite quickly and get all my stuff done afterwards. Packed the car, drove to Ikea, bought some more stuff, packed my bags.
Tomorrow morning I move out, move to a new town, start a new life. I'll miss the dog, the village, the house, with it's multiple spacious rooms, the family dinners, the family. That's why cultivating gratitude is so important. It makes you savour every moment of what you're lucky to have, while reminding you of it's impermanence, nothing taken for granted, every moment valuable, and fully appreciated.
I wish I had paid more attention to the little things, and I wish I had loved more, appreciated more. I wish I had done more to help the people who cared for me, and done less to hurt them. I wish I had seen the meaninglessness in every fight, and I wish I had recognized the beauty of every moment. But I couldn't have, because I'm a human. And that's life. I grew up, and I did what I could. And now I will do a thousand things more.
Peace.
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Day 13
I am hondasc00py and at night, I run through fields like a madman
I just got back from a nightly walk with the dog. Man, I remembered how I used to do those all the time. Before bed, anything between 11-3am, just get out into the cold fresh night air and walk. Sometimes I would walk for up to 2 hours. Stumbling through the fields, or the pitch black forest (hondasp00ky), or just the silent, deserted town. The sense of peace, silence and solitude is unreal. That was my medicine, man, my spirituality. Tonight I was just finishing up a podcast as I started, when it ended the next track on the downloads playlist happened to be my current favorite indie rock song. Caught off guard, I just had to leave it on. The music blew up and something snapped, I just felt this insane rush of energy and joy, and danced the night away celebrating LIFE.
I return to normality feeling deeply satisfied and purified. When you get that moment, where everything just falls away, all the bullshit, and there's nothing but pure energy of joy and expression and movement, I can't help but feel that this is what life is truly about. It's incredible. Has humanity forgotten?
In other news, today I showed my mother the GameQuitters website, Reclaim program, and urged her to listen to the podcast, in particular the fantastic episode 7 of Cam's talk aimed at teachers and therapists. It will certainly help with dealing with my younger brother, who is deep into video games and unhealthy habits, when I am off at Uni.
I'll wrap it up here,
armed with the knowledge that there's
no reason to fearDamn that's cheesy. Sounded cooler in my head. But, that's just how I roll. Peace!
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Yo welcome on the path to greatness. I like how you put yourself in a "what if" scenario with the Overwatch craving, I do that too. What also helps is paying close attention to what the craving is and breaking it down into it's seperate components like so:
- mental image/video playing in your head
- a feeling somewhere in your body, like excitement or rush
- perhaps mental talk (not necessarily)
these components all come together and merge to create "the craving". but breaking them down and seperating them allows you to deal with them much better. and also realize that these phenomena are completely impermanent.
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If I think about it, I’ve accomplished a lot. So what if I’m moving at a tortoise’s pace. Doesn’t he win in the end anyway?
Preach. Let's all be less of a narcoleptic hare, and more of a consistent tortoise.
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Yeah and another thing I love about getting up early is you actually get to witness the sunrise and that early morning sunlight. Shit, where's that been all the time???
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The rain may fall, and I will say
I needed to water the plants anyway
So I guess it’s for the best
I love this verse. Good job on getting back up, plus you channeled that negative experience into creating something meaningful, I applaud you for that.
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Ayyyy looking good there. You've set up the environment, you've got strategy, security, and also accountability (from your's truly). Crush it.
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Day 12
@SlackRamen (trying without caps seems to have unjinxed it. glitch in the matrix?)
Thanks for listening! You're right, it was way too quiet, and short. Which is why I sat down straight away and busted out another track: https://soundcloud.com/simon-wagner-29/jungle-tune
On your post on my other thread (in the spirit of keeping the forums uncluttered we should stick to this one):
@thehondasc00py Firstly can I say, I'm loving the intensity! I'm totally feeling it smack me right in the face through the computer screen. WHAM.
Reading through your first week, we're connecting on a lot of levels here - personal development, keto diet, Asia gap year, falling on Netflix when trying to stop gaming, chocolate binges... You're not alone.
Awesome. You've been to Asia too? Let me guess, you went to Indonesia. It's just a hop over the pond for you Aussies. I had am amazing time there, it's probably my favorite country.
I'm going to be following your progress with the X Effect excitedly. I've never heard of it before, but it sounds and looks promising. If it works out I'll need to give it a go myself.
In other news, curiosity has taken hold. You mentioned you acquired two pieces of art from Ebay. Do you collect art? I've just never heard of anybody buying art from Ebay.
You've got to give it a go, it's great. I'll post an update pic soon, the red crosses are looking quite sexy indeed.
Here's what I got on ebay:
Buddha was 10euro, chinese rollart was 50. And both are nice and big. Great catches.
Haiku..eh fk it I just fried my creative brain working on that beat for like 4hrs, off to cook.
Over and out!
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Now that's a strong start!
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Day 11
Producin
Ayyyy just got off producing my first track (!) its here: https://soundcloud.com/simon-wagner-29/piano-tune
Creating feels so good.
Routine still running smooth as ever. Phoned up a guy I met online to organize an accountability thing. Striking up conversation with strangers gives me a huge energy boost, at first I'm adverse to any potential awkwardness but it always feels exhilarating afterwards.
Not much more to say. Without further ado, haiku.
From the void we come
To mold our spirit, create our soul
To the void we goPeace out!
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I still wish I was making more of my days my mood seems to be significantly more positive than before.
it kind of feels like I'm playing the waiting game. There are some things that are up to me to take hold of, but some are just beyond my reach and I have to bide my time in a productive way, but I still struggle with the "how"
In my experience doing too much too soon is counterproductive and causes an ego backlash where you lose focus and backslide out of the blue. The slow but consistent approach is almost always better, I would focus on just a few things. Even time spent doing nothing can be productive in the sense that you're detoxing from stimulation, and can apply mindfulness to the present moment, developing your awareness.
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Mate have you considered getting counseling? Having a trusted person to talk to face to face about your family, your progress etc could be really helpful too,if you can find one close to your town
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Parkreiner,
I read your last posts and there are a couple of things I would like to say.
a) There's a lot you don't like about yourself. That's fine, this is where you start. By clarifying these things and bringing them to light, you've already made a steady first step. We all, everyone in society, define ourselves, make us out to be a certain someone. In short, we are who we believe we are. Our beliefs about ourselves define us, quite literally. The problem is, that these beliefs often operate subconsciously, unbeknownst to us. Deep down we might think something of ourselves without even realizing, yet defining us and influencing our behaviours, resulting in dissonance and lack of integrity.
You've already made them conscious though. You know who you are, you're conscious of your own beliefs.
Even if these are negative, you're being open and honest with yourself. That's already more than a lot of people do. Let this self-honesty empower you. Hell, if you hate yourself, and you're honest about it, you can even let that empower you. Unconventional advice? I wouldn't be saying it if it hadn't rung true in my own life. At times, I've hated myself. But when it wasn't a subconscious hate, when the voice saying "I hate myself" rang loud and clear and matter-of-fact, the whole honesty and transparency of it really empowered me. Self-integrity, self-honesty, is the highest virtue. If you have full transparency with yourself, you're already ahead of the curve.
b) Most people just coast through life, a product of their background, completely unaware, without really any higher ambitions. If you're into this whole self-development thing, if you're thinking about how to improve yourself, or even transform yourself, and you're actively working at it, then you're already doing more than 90% of people in today's society. Give yourself props for that, and again, let it empower you.
c) Your family sounds very unsupportive and maybe even toxic. Your brother thinks youre irritating for trying to start conversations? Please. This sucks, I'm sorry. If your parents are willing to finance an apartment for you until you get a job, I highly suggest you speak to them about it. Changing environments and moving out would definetely be beneficial for you. You need to shake things up, and if your environment is unsupportive and beats you down (and links you to all sorts of past negative habits), you really need to get out there and start a new life. If that's financially possible.
Hope this helps and looking forward to hearing from you.
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Welcome to the journey. Know that it won't be easy, but greatness is never easy. You can live an easy life, or you can live a great life!
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Day 10
What I'm grateful for today;
- waking up in a warm bed
- having a good friend
Had a really sweet morning. Routine went smooth, listened to the consumer->producer podcast episode. Finally got round to installing a certain music production software to make beats. Will get started for real tomorrow. Got a bit exhausted eventually, kicked down and watched a movie. Moodwise great all around though.
Goals for tomorrow;
- produce a beat
- get further in the book im reading
Gonna start busting out some haikus at the end of my journal entries when I feel like it, just as an extra little creative outlet.
I kept deleting
every draft I came up with
fuck it, get it donePeace out!
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This Past Weekend from Theo Von, unconventional comedian with interesting and funny ideas, super down to earth, has his own fair share of battles with depression and addiction. I listen to it to kick back during breakfast.
Athene's Realtalk Podcast has some good, high quality insights and reality checks
The Joe Rogan Experience has some fascinating episodes, particularly ones with Randall Carlson, Graham Hancock (awesome alt history theories), Jeff Evans (medic for expeditions) , Wim Hof (cold showers), Alex Honnold (climbs rock faces without ropes and breakneck speeds, eg el capitan 4 hours)
I want to live my life!
in Daily Journals
Posted
Word! I love running. I love the simplicity of it. JUST RUN. It always clears my head too. It's fantastic. I'm grateful I can run.