Yar

10/18/23 Out of bed 10:30am, did some support groups, got feedback school stuff went well, on to second half of course. Groceries, then took cat out for enrichment. I think this will be one of the last nice days for her to enjoy out.

10/17/2023 Out of bed 9:20 to take cat to vet. Got stuff for school done.

10/16/2023 Out of bed 9:15am, made some phone calls for upcoming appts for confirmation of details, put detox timer on Discord server. Tried to sleep early last night, didn't happen. Last day playing anything was 10/09/2023, which means today is day 7 off games.

For 10/13/2023 Out of bed ~10:30, had appt with sleep doctor, who also said something's off with with my health. I really need to see my cardiologist, which I suspect is the issue. Too much gaming to get away from 15 years of PTSD, only holding back for about 1 year at most. For 10/14/2023 Out of bed ~11:20, went to quinceañera for family, looked up some good information about heart disease. Tried to sleep early, couldn't. For 10/15/2023 Out of bed ~11:00, husband went to church, today is date day/night.

For 10/11/2023 Out of bed ~10am, went to bed late past midnight, did originally wake early at 6am then napped again. Did cook, have appt with PTSD counselor, talk to husband about keeping said save, will switch versions to make harder for me to continue that particular save. Grateful for therapy which helps with everything. For 10/12/2023 Out of bed 9:45am, did originally wake early at 3am and remove CPAP. Went to bed midnight. Gradually aligning schedule with husband, who leaves for work ~8:40am. Have an appt on the 13th with sleep doctor, likely to see if I need to get any tweaks or just work on using CPAP machine more.

Previous post was 10/09/23, this post is 10/10/23. Out of bed ~ 10:30am, yesterday went to bed ~10pm, forgot CPAP, did originally wake at ~8:15am and napped again. Before going to bed cooked, talked to school program mentor, and wrote some emails regarding some previous career stuff. Today worked on the respawn modules. Virtual appt with dietician at 2pm, got groceries. Grateful today is first day after stopping games. Grateful I uninstalled games. Except the one me and my husband work together on. Want to have a conversation with if he minds if I delete the save we have together in a world interaction game, (one I know he cared about, not sure about other saves). Still have steam account but pruned who I have friends with, to decrease frequency of notifications. I also pruned my Discord servers I am subscribed to, and Youtube channels I am subscribed to. Grateful that I have done these things, grateful I can still do more by deletion of steam account and deletion of world interaction game save, even if I have not yet taken those steps.

Out of bed at 8:38am, yesterday went to bed at ~1:30am w/CPAP, napped today ~2 hrs? After deleting apps from phone yesterday, today tried to find old respawn login. Finally decided just to repurchase. Great decision. Had virtual appointment with my doctor. Helpful for addressing various miscellaneous things. School needs some project work on current single class I am taking. Grateful I stopped playing my main game early in the day - before appointment at 1pm.

I wanted to support my friend's life coaching business. Financially right now is not the time - going back to school to change careers and no room for the coaching in our budget at the moment. I did look up some good books, which were more in our (me and husband, both late 30s) current budget. I started with Respawn in 2015, but didn't follow through due to life circumstances which were extreme. I have already made drastic lifestyle changes to reduce stress. My supports provide a big role. These include my typed out sheet of daily supports, weekly supports, less often supports. These include electronics, family, friends, groups, services, books, and health peoples of various sorts. Overall first step was I looked at adjusting my supports. I have a lot of great supports. But how often I use them needs improvement. My electronic devices are sometimes supportive. So, I immediately went through my phone and took inventory while deleting apps that do not support me or my goals. I also updated notifications so I can focus on what does support me. My phone can now support me. My "Desktop" of my desktop computer area can now support me, and so can my laptop - although I need to take inventory on these two in more detail similar to what I did with my phone. My watch is great for exercise support. My Amazon Fire 8 tablet from 2017 for reading in bed can now support me in place of my phone. So, similar to many other times in my life, I have decided to step back from supporting another person to first work on myself.