Corvus Albus

I will try it out and let you know if it works for me. Thanks for advice. Looks like I have a lot to read about. Thanks for suggestion, Bob. #Day 24 - I Should Do Something Else I installed Steam today. And played some games on that device. Wasted about 5 hours on games. I should cut down on it. Maybe trying to play one card game, I mean one ranked game per day is a solution here?

It already took it. But not anymore. I want the change. My brain wants something else though. Well, screw the brain. I have my own priorities in life. Day #23 - Wasted Day I played again. For a couple of hours. That is it for me. I am moving forward. I am neglecting basic things to do and my daily activities. Not anymore. No more wasting time. No matter how hard it will be, I will manage to do it.

I surely will. I have to beat this score. I want to gain freedom from addiction. Day #22 - Back To Old Habits I did played for two hours on Sunday. Still I have some time with my friends. I see that I am not doing my duties as responsibly as I did during detox.

True. I really appreciate this relationships I will not tell anybody about it. Day #21 - Relapse Looks like the wall I built just ruined. I still want to write here about how I feel, because I am consistent about it. Couple of hours spent on video games. I felt much different than before. Like this time I can manage to moderate. Like it is all about me, not the addiction.

Speed of implementation, as I heard. Good to know. I have to implement it How about some writing about my dreams from previous night? Or taking dog for a walk? Day #20 - Friends again I spent some time today with friends I did not have time before because of gaming. That is awesome. We spent couple of hours talking about what happened last couple of months. They have a lot to talk about. Unfortunately, I was only a good listener. I cannot say them, that I played video games for last years. I cannot make myself a self-pitying victim. This is not me anymore.

Sure, sometimes you can tell them about how you feel. This gives a lot of reassurance. I am trying to do my best here. I appreciate your encouragement. Day #19 - Morning routine It is time to start a new morning routine. I made my own to feel more present during the morning. First I make my bed. Then I drink some water. Next, I have a shower and then I eat good breakfast. Then I am ready to go. What can I add to make my routine better?

We have more and more in common, Bob. Day #18 - At Least 1 Friend I realized today that I still have one best friend. We know each other for years and we have so many things in common. For me this is something I did not realized before. That is a lot, I should be grateful for that. One friend is enough especially if it is a really best friend. I should see more things. Things to be gratitude for.

I will not give up. Rejection does not scare me. I do not like excuses. I have to face them, though. Expanding social circle might help. Thanks for advice. Day #17 - Hiking I have a day free to spend on hiking. I really like this activity. There is a lot to explore, a lot to see and many places to visit. I think I will do it more consistently. So many places to visit, even around my neighbourhood. I was inside my house so long that I did not seem them.

True, I did some contacts refreshments today. I do not want to be isolated anymore. Day #16 - Friend Is Gone I have been rejected multiple times today. I felt really good until that rejection I get from people I trusted. I got rejected from my mentor, couple of friends. I tried to be a proactive person and make a meeting with them. Even my grandmother did not have time to talk to me. Friend from yesterday screwed me too. I feel lost and lonely again. I am just like White Raven. No one really wants to at least spend time with me. Although I was very productive today I feel emptiness and void.

Good idea. I have to try hip hop out. Or any other dance style. Something in pairs is what interest me most. That is right. I have to try as many activities as possible until I am young. Day #15 - Easier said than done I met a friend of mine accidentially. I did not even expected that. I am still surprised. We have been not seeing each other for years. This friend is not a gamer, and we lost contact before. My gaming issue is one of the reason. Probably. I want to stay in contact with my friend. She inspires me to life the live to the fullest. An example of being proactive person. It is easier said than done, because she is college student in different town. So, for the most time of the year, we have long road ahead to see each other.

I am thinking about going to dance classes. I always wanted to go and dance in the party, but was too shy for doing that. #Day 14 - Dance Dance Revolution I have to say it, I tried it out. Two songs, and I was diminished. I do not feel bad for that, I do not feel relapsed. It was during an event in my city. I want to learn dancing in a real way. And I am going to do so. Dance classes, here we go.

I will keep that in mind, pal. Exactly, yes. Double agreement. Day #13 - Nightcore It looks like a trigger to me - listening to this whole nightcore music. It is sped up well-known songs which are really fast. They are giving me lots and lots of positive emotions during listening and somehow reminds me about gaming. How does it really work - I do not know.

I want to be free just like the bird. Easier for you to become game free. Day #12 - Perseverance I want to be more persevere. I have to. How otherwise I will be able to deal with this addiction? I have to. I have to face it, not escape it. So, perseverance is the key.

Sure, I do not want to espace into video games. I have to learn how to deal with life difficulties without them. Day #11 - Dreams about gaming I have a dream about relapsing last night. Horrible idea. Probably caused by my friends, I came to my friend's house and people were watching cinematic trailers of new video games. Horrible idea, however we watched only about 5-10 minutes of them. It did not triggered me. I treated it as movie trailers. Then we spend some good time on board games. I feel better after writing this here.

I cannot wait for a time to enjoy other activities more. Just detox, detox, detox and everything will become normal. Day #10 - two digit number Finally I have ten percent of my detox behind me! It is really great to see that I am still into it. It is not so much pain as in the beginning. I must be patient and stay focused right now. So, let me be more patient with everything when the pain hits me and when difficult time appear. I want to manage everything during that time. I have to, I just have to.

Sure. I need to stay cool and I will be fine. Today new withdrawals approached. Day #9 - Sleeping Well, I slept today for about 7 hours during the night and 3 hours during the day. So many hours I have been sleeping today, but it is still better than gaming during that time. Sleeping disturbances is one of the withdrawal, right? Another thing with numb pleasure response. Many activities does not give me pleasure, while they should be. One of them is writing. I really like writing about a story, but I feel so empty when I want to create something today. No ideas, no story, no writing. Let us just stay cool with that.

For me, it all started when I made it to have a job. Before that, my parents gave me very little amount of money for my own things (something like 5$ per months) and this was something that learned me how to spare money. When I am working, I have more money than 5$ to spend, so I am using it for junk food. This habit should be changed. Willpower is really important to be strong person in life. I will definitely check that books out. I will be strong. Day #8 - Saint Anger I got angry on my parents. Without any specific reason. They are only caring too much about me, treating me like I am 10 year old irresponsible boy. I am 21 instead. Sometimes it is hard to manage my anger against the others, so I should work on that to prevent this situation in the future. This might be withdrawal from gaming aswell.

Day #7 - Swiftly! I am today kind of off-the-beaten track. This update is quick because I am writing via mobile device. I am fine, alive and full of happiness because of discovering new places.

I did and I will do it again once it is need to be done. Thank you. I want to make my room the cleanest one too. Day #6 - Nutrition I neglected eating food today. Only junkie shit like snacks and drinking it with coke. Ah, and sweets. Lots and lots of sweets. I am not sure why it happened, but I have to be more consisent here. Without it I am closer to lose contact with outer world. Again. And I don't want it once I am back here. I want to be free just like a bird really is. And freedom of doing what I want does not mean freedom of eating what my brain wants.

It is tough sometimes to not think about people so negative. But I have to manage it. Day 4 is a big achievement for me so far. Some people understands me, others do not. Life is not fair. Most people are not good from their nature, so there is no particular reason to be good for me. Day #5 - Rebuild what remains. I feel a little bit better right now. Made some cleaning inside my house, so this place looks more like home. Also made some more ventilation - by opening the windows from both sides of the house. That is a relief for high temperatures. It looks like the mood is swinging - I need to be focused and stay cool and level-headed.

I will hang in there. Music from games looks like the symptom of my need for detox. I appreciate your advice. Not going to the computer first thing in the morning is a good one. Tempo is important, however being hot outside can stop me for a while. I did a walk during the time you pinpointed and that was a misery. But at least I have legs so I can walk anytime I want. I will face my fears. Day #4 - Fears I feel wrong each time I want to go outside. There are people. People who might have wrong intentions. Some of them might stab me in the back, others may confuse me with words and there are many of them who wants to misuse the information I give them. Finding the ways to deal with phobias I have. I do not care what others say, that is the external shell of mine, but what happens inside me, oh, only I know how it hurts. Each time I trust someone and share about myself. I got criticised multiple times so far, so is there anyone who will truly understand me in this world? There should be good people out here, should not they? I hope they are, because only hope dies last.

Day #3 - Excuse me? This fight is a tough one. I have to tackle high temperatures right now. I am not used to it. 31 Celsius degrees. This is probably the best excuse I can create - go back to virtual because it is hot. It is going to be hot! I have to manage this even though I don't like it. No time for excuses or justifications. I need to stay cool and refreshed, well, literally. I feel more like gaming soundtrack attacks want to assure me that I am insane. Music is not the only enemy foe here - my mind play a game with achievement sounds each time I do something good. How to harness this beast inside me?

Allright, I just need to stay strong and patient. I forgive myself. That is the best way to do it at this moment Day #2 - Dreams are tough Dreams are so surrealistic. They just come and go, some of them I remember from last night. I felt like I played it. The game which I left behind and I was crushed, my character died in suffering. RPGs were made only to win for me, so I could become a better player. I never play to lose. Without winning it is completely useless. I remember how strong it influences me when I lost it is like the biggest dishonor for myself like I could not stand it and I had anger attack. So, dreams are not helping me, but I am going to withstand them. Each time my brain play a game with me, I will not beat myself up for that. It is just playing with chemicals to provoke me to go back. But I must not. There is no way back.

Hi Mettermrck! I desire to express myself creatively too. Maybe journalling could help. Welcome, OnlySoul! Thanks for the offer. Welcome, Founder. I think that age is just a number. I should take same action to see this endless possibilities first. Hello, Moe Smith, thanks for following me. I just googled "how to quit computer games" and sign up here, that's all so far. I like fantasy of any kind, but my must favourites are post-apocalyptic scenario - I realised this after reading Apocalypse Z Trilogy by Manel Loureiro.

Day #1 I feel the pain. The pain caused by wasted time. That's even worser than my physical pain. I feel that inside my head. Like bashing my head over a wall dozen times. The voice, he wants me to go back, to waste my life. I want a change. I want to be better version of myself. I want a freedom in my life. I am going to be responsible guy - not the one who is just a big failure. Past myself is gone - and it never comes back.